My 18 Year Old Daughter

She is 18 and considered an adult. What you do is give her your reasons for your reservations, tell her you love her and that you will always be there for her. Then when she makes those huge mistakes pick up the pieces.

Let her go to Germany and see this "boyfriend" He may turn out ot be some 50 yo creep. She is an American citizen, she has the protection of the American Embassy should this person want her to do anything illegal, as illegal is considered in the US.
I agree with cancelling any credit cards you have cosigned or have given her.

Please re-post this and fix the spelling and grammer errors it's too confusing.

Are you saying that you know the mother of the boyfriend? As in, you have met her in person and you know that the son is for real, and not some sexual predator stalking your daughter? What does your daughter think she is going to gain by going to Germany to be with a "boyfriend" she has never met when she has college to attend at home? Unfortunately, you cannot stop her from going if she has money and a passport, no matter how bad of an idea this is. Does she plan on going for a short visit, or does she think they are going to live happily ever after there? How does she think she will support herself living in Germany when she is not a citizen and doesn't have a visa? I know you're already overwhelmed and these are more questions instead of answers, but perhaps if you show these to your daughter, she will give some more thought to the matter. There are plenty of young men here to date, why have a "boyfriend" that you will pretty much never see because you live in different countries, you can't exactly go on Friday night dates.

Your question is hard to understand somewhat. You say you know the boyfriends mother, what does she think about the relationship? Your daughter is 18, not much you can do really if she makes up her mind to do something.

I just talked today to a mom friend whose daughter is getting married this month to a man from Germany that she met online. They've dated for two years long-distance and have made several trips to visit in person.

"Online" and "Germany" alone do not make your daughter's actions a mistake. What is happening between your daughter and this boyfriend that made you plead for her not to go? Or are you just having trouble letting her grow up?

I'm not sure what the question is here. Do you not want her to go and stay in Germany? Do you disapprove of the online basis of her relationship?

U.:

Your question is VERY confusing...
Who has she not seen?
Whose mother do you know?
Left whose home?

Your daughter is 18 - therefore an adult in the eyes of the United States..you can't stop her from going..

If she has enough money to buy a plane ticket to Germany - then she has been saving her pennies...if she is using a credit card that you gave her - i would cancel it.

If this is her first love - she is on a hormonal roller coaster and won't listen to you....you can choose a couple of ways to work with her - reverse psychology and ooh and ahh over the boy and how wonderful he is...or you can support her and get to know this boy that your daughter seems to be entranced by....

GOOD LUCK!!!

Give her examples of what has happened with things like that. Show her the movie (documentary) "Catfish". It's about a relationship that starts over the internet but one side it not being honest. I just saw it on HBO now. If it is not still there, I am sure it is at Redbox. It is really good.

Unfortunately, you can't stop her from going but don't play the "I forbid you to..." card. I would even suggest having him come HERE to meet her. Best case scenario, he won't even come and you will end up looking like the good guy and she will trust in you to tell you things in the future instead of going behind your back.

I think the worst thing you can do is put your foot down and refuse to see her point of view. My father didn't talk to me for two years when I dated a man who was obviously (to everyone but me) completely inappropriate, and the relationship collapsed on it's own, but my father wasn't a voice in my life because his response was so extreme, he lost his "voice" in my life. If he had been calmer, and said, "tell me what is going on" and then asked questions throughout the relationship, he would have had a much greater influence on me. I.e. questions like: is he able to visit you? If not, why not? Doesn't he have enough money? Do you want the same things? Are you planning on continuing your education? How? Where? What kind of job can you get if you don't have a work visa? (these questions are assuming she was feeling like radically relocating, which presumably she is not). A different culture may be exciting at first, but it will soon get boring. You don't want to push her away, when this whole relationship (as most relationships) may very well collapse on it's own much sooner.