My 2 Year Old Is Such a Whiner!!!

Updated on May 03, 2008
P.H. asks from Mesa, AZ
5 answers

Ok, I am about ready to loose it! If his cartoon is over.. he whines, if I give him water instead of milk... he whines, if it is time for a diaper change... he whines, if it is time to brush his teeth... he whines, if it is time to take a bath... he whines, when grandpa comes home and I tell him to go give his grandpa (or anyone else for that matter) a hug... he whines! Get the point?? Oh, and heaven forbid I tell him no,(which I do often)!!! What do I do??? I have tried countless things: timeout in bedroom, swat on the but, a pop in the mouth, yelling, it doesn't matter what I do.. it just seems to make it worse! I don't get it??? Does anyone have any magical tricks, or potion or something??? Or even suggestions on how to keep my 8 month old from doing the same thing?? Thank you for any, and all suggestions!!! :)

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A.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I have a 2.5 year old and she does the same thing. The one thing I found to work is telling her I'm not going to listen to her if she whines. A lot of times, she will whine to me about something and I tell her that and she completely changes her voice and asks the right way. They know the difference and I think sometimes they just do it to get a reaction out of you. I also asked others at my work about it when I was struggling and they said they tell them once that they won't respond until they stop whining and after that basically don't respond until they change their tone. It works most of the time, but there are still times and I think that's just part of the age. Hope this helps.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.L.

answers from Phoenix on

Hang in there, a lot of kids do this!! When my daughter started it we didn't do anything and it got worse! I got so tired of it so I totally understand how you feel! What we finally did was tell her when she whined that was not acceptable and if she did it again she would go to time out. The key is to be consistent which I was but after a couple of days I thought it should be over by then - it wasn't! I had to keep going and still sometimes put her in time-out for it. If she does it with a drink though I tell her that she can have milk (or whatever she wanted instead) next time and remind her that she when she whines she goes to time-out. That usually puts a halt to it now! I would use something as the time-out spot (not the bedroom) - a step or blanky that doesn't get used, stool or something. I use a little blanky with my daughter because we can take it with us so if she needs time-out when somewhere else - no problem! That also showed her how serious mommy was about the time-out and whining!

I really hope this helps you! You are doing great, just decide what you want to do then remember to be consistent - it will work! Good luck!

Adding on here because I totally love what Amanda said! That would make for a lot less time-outs!!!

1 mom found this helpful
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J.D.

answers from Phoenix on

P.,

I can totally relate! Some of my friends used the "I can't hear you unless you speak in a normal voice" method and it worked for them. This is also a hot button issue for me (Lord, help me, I CAN'T STAND THE WHINING!). I tried this technique and it does work, the key is that you have to be consistent.

Good luck!

-Jen

1 mom found this helpful
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K.B.

answers from Phoenix on

The advice below is great because I used them all and most of the worked with most of my kids. However none of these worked with my son and I had to resort to either flicking his cheek to make him aware of what he was doing and after a couple of times I would just say "You are whining do you need a flick" His immediate response would be no and he would stop. Now before everybody gets all worked up over the flicking, at most it is just shocking to the child and until you have a kid that you have tried everything with, including the popping on the mouth, you have no idea how frustrating it can be. Boys are always more persistent than girls and so you have to take that into consideration as well. The other thing that has worked really well for my family and many others I know is a spray bottle filled with Apple Cider vinegar that gets sprayed in their mouth when they are sassy or whiny. It is sour and kids really don't like sour things. I also used the same technique with this one (worked better with my girls). I explained what was going to happen, followed through and then the next time would ask if that was what they wanted and usually they said no and stopped the behavior. Kids aren't perfect and there is no instruction manual, so my biggest suggestion is to try everything and find the thing that works for your child..

A little about me: SAHM of four kids ages 13, 10, 8, and 6. I am 36 years old and have been happily married for the last 15 years...

1 mom found this helpful
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S.

answers from Phoenix on

I guess this is not going to be a very popular answer, but you seem very emotional about this issue, and I think the first thing to do is remain calm even when your child is trying to drive you crazy. Telling them you can't listen or hear them unless they use their regular voice and then ignoring is probably the most effective way, because they are trying to get attention. I guess timeout could also work, but helping them to alter their own behavior and then get a positive response with attention seems more effective. Although I am by no means again spanking when needed, I think that physical action in the form of "pop in the mouth" or "flicking the cheek" of a 2 year old child is highly disturbing, especially when you are not even dealing with an act of defiance but just dealing with a frustrated child. In my opinion their heart needs to be in the wrong place if physical punishment is going to be doled out.

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