My 2 Year Old Won't Sleep in Her Bed

Hi L.
I have a 5 year old and an 8 month old and what I use may sound crazy, but I am a Passion Party consultant and we have a product that is called Silky Sheets and it contains pheromones. My son had problems sleeping through the night and I sprayed this on his sheets and the pheromones calm him down and help him sleep. We call it his sleep spray. He sometimes even ask for it when he is having problems going to sleep. I also spray a little in the air in the baby's room and helps him sleep as well. If you are interested you can order it at www.sonyaspassionparties.com

well i know this might sound mean but i had that same trouble with my daughter when she was that age. The only thing that finally worked was just letting her cry and if she got up i would walk her back to her room put her back in bed say good night and leave her room. We went through this for about 2 weeks but it worked and now she is almost six and has been just fine in her own bed ever since.

I am a 38 year old mother of b/g 27 month twins. I commute 100 miles a day and work full time. For the past 7 nights in a row my son has turned from going to bed perfectly and staying in his bed (although waking at least once per night) to not going to bed easily, only to be appeased by us rubbing his head or back to get him back to sleep or coming into our bed. I did tons of research and talked to several good friends and family that are experienced moms and made a decision to try something last night that worked. I say "worked" loosely, but we definintely made headway. It would have gone smoother if our twins were in separate rooms, but it did work. Some may disagree with this approach, but it is tough love in these situations and I'm a sleep deprived mom. This is what we did. I put a child proof handle on the back of their bedroom door. After putting them to bed and loving on them, I walked out and closed the door. We have a nightlight in their room. Then I sat on my bed bawling while he tried for 5 min to get out the door. Then he got quiet. Then I heard his sister telling him to get out of her bed and go lay down. So we removed her from the room for about 15 min. He immediately went to sleep (with a slight bit of help from Benadryl). At midnight he woke screaming. He thought the door was shut, when at this time it was only pulled to. Then he woke his sister getting into her bed. I put him back in his bed a few times and he finally went to sleep and slept the rest of the night. Of course now sister who sleeps perfectly in her bed through the night was upset and cried out a couple of time. This process took a total of 2 hrs, but there were 15-20 min intervals of quiet and then he would get up. If you have a singleton child and try this, I bet it will work a lot quicker. Again, this may seem like tough love and you have to stay out to let it work, but it did. On a final note, our dentist told us not to give the kids anything but water between meals, not even diluted juice. I used to give my son milk at night when he would wake up and he started getting these deposits on the back of his lower teeth. According to our dentist that is the worst thing to do to your child's teeth. We had to have them off sippy cups by 2 to start daycare, so we just broke that bad habit too. I truly hope this helps all of you with this problem. We were at our wits end too and tired of being tired!!! It it weren't for my Spark Energy Drink, I wouldn't make it through these days. It truly is my "Super Mom" in a packet. www.advocare.com/07012379. Good luck!

Everything that you do for toddlers need to be introduced in a fun way. I love the idea about getting new sheets and having her shop with you and letting her know that these are for her. If she has a preference make sure that you get her favorite character. When I introduced beds to my girls I did it in a fun excited voice and let them know that these beds were made just for them.
After the fun comes consistency. If you give up one night and let her have her way then you might as well have given up all together. You need to be consistent. Make her know that you are serious about her having to sleep in her own bed.
This is where the tough love comes in. I know you hate to do it but if she has a fit you just need to let her do it. She is only having the fit because she knows eventually you will break down and let her have her way. Once this happens she will think she can do this with every thing she wants to do. Pretty soon she will be running the house instead of you. You are the parent and you need to be firm. She will eventually realize you mean business and go on off to sleep.
If you see yourself folding and buckling under pressure just reassure yourself that you are doing the right thing. You are making sure that you and your husband have a healthy relationship with no children sleeping in your room in case you want some intimacy and you are teaching your child that she cannot have her way just because she has a tantrum. She will respect you more in the long run. Boost her up too by telling her how proud you are of her when she does eventually start sleeping in there by herself. Let her know that she is becoming a big girl and that is a good thing. She will be proud of herself too. Don't worry you are not alone. I had to go through a similiar situation too. This method worked for me. Take care and good luck.

My 3 year old has not been sleeping in her own bed for over a year and a half. We have tried everything. She will sleep on our floor, and we are to the point that we just pick our battles. If by chance she will go to sleep in her room she will be come lay on our floor in the middle of the night. My daughter keeps a pretty consistant night schedule. She used to sleep through the night really well, then she started waking up because she was thirsty, and even though we had a cup next to her bed, she would forget. And then she ended up sleeping on our floor. Right now we are trying to get her sleep in her own bed before she starts school in the fall. But she seems to like sleeping on the floor next to my bed...I am just happy its not in bed with me.

You're going to have to just get tough. My now 5 yr old son would do this too. At about 2 1/2 we started putting him in bed asleep. He would stay for a while and then we would have to do it again. After a few days of putting him to bed asleep we put him to bed just slightly awake. We keep putting him to bed more awake until he just got used to it. It only took about 6 months. No, he didn't like it. But we held our ground and he learned.

You should try and switch the milk for a favorite stuffed animal too.

Hi L., I have a question? Is she in a toddler bed or normal bed? If she is in a normal bed maybe she feels really small in a big world. With my daugter she was a month premature so everything was gigantic next to her we were able to find a small toddler bed we had her pick her bedding and put a night light in her room and that seemed to help after she got bigger we switched her to a big bed with no problems. Keep the faith and good luck 2 year olds are very strong willed. :o)

my response is going to be a little different than other people's. My daughters were adopted, and my youngest who was 2 at the time was having a really hard time going to sleep in her bed, fits, crying, everything. Some of it was becuase 2 is a hard enough age anyway, we were potty training, which can be emotionally draining, and she got new parents, house, room, bed, everything. We tried to put her in her bed and let her cry it out but she just exhausted herself and become out of control with her fit. It was heart breaking and I did not feel like it was the best thing for her, she was going through enough, why put her through more? So a couple of days a week, I laid down with her in my bed and then moved her to her bed. We did this every night at first and then started weaning her. We also talked to her about she can only come in our room when the sun wakes up. When she came in our room, we showed her outside and told her the sun is still asleep so she needs to stay in her bed, walked her to her bed and putted her back until she was asleep again. She still cried when we walked her back to bed but patting her back until she went back to sleep and re-tucking her helped ease her. At the time, she needed comfort that someone was going to be there for her when she needed them. Something you might also want to try is giving her something that smells like you in her bed. A sticker chart might also help and praise her when she wakes up in the morning and did a great job staying in her bed all night. Good luck, I know it was hell going through it with our daughter. But now she goes to her bed when it's bed time without problems most of the time.

The problem as I see it is that you aren't putting her to bed. She rocks to sleep in someone's arms then awakens, not in her bed, but on the couch. Why should she go to bed then if you aren't making the bed part of the bedtime routine.

Honestly, I have the same kind of problem. My son falls asleep in the rocking chair too as we read books but once that happens, and before he's fully asleep he is put in his bed. That won't stop him from coming to our bed in the middle of the night but the frequency of these visits has really decreased.

Sooooo, for those days when he doesn't fall asleep in the rocker, we simply put him to bed. Then I sit there, not looking at him,not talking to him, not touching him until he actually goes to sleep on his own. My husband takes a shift so I can do some special stuff with my older boy before bed.

Eventually we'll switch to another technique, by wordlessly putting him back in his bed. We're doing this with our older boy now. The frequency will decrease quickly then escalate when we have storms.

I had this trouble with my son at that age as well. I would just put him back in bed each time he came in our room. Believe me there where times that he still slept with us but that was only b/c I was lazy. It didnt last all night though for I would get cramped and then get up and put him back in bed. He grew out of it actually and is good to go now.

been there...i feel for ya...no matter what method you choose you will have to deal with fits and tantrums. with my oldest we found that "preparing" her for the change for a few days or weeks before. by telling her that she was going to start sleeping in her own bed and what a big girl she was and etc. then we did a reward chart and then we tried every night to put her down in her own bed it took some time but eventually it worked and now she sleeps in her own bed with no issues at all. good luck

Make sure she's got a night light too when you put her in her own room. I know my son (who will be 3 in June) doesn't do well without it, if his night light isn't in the room then he wants to bedroom door cracked open. But our house is small and my hubby and I can't stay up and talk or watch TV with our son's door open because he won't go to sleep, so it must be shut.

I did this with both of my kids and haven't had any problems with them not staying in their beds at night: prep them for bed (drinks of water, diaper change, brush teeth). The routine will get them knowing what is coming up next. As I'm doing these things I tell them it's time for "night-night" so they know, sometimes they'll argue about it and sometimes not but I just repeat that it's time for bed. After their nightly getting ready for bed routine I lay them down individually and give them lots of long hugs and kisses saying I love them, to sleep good, and sometimes even remind them about something fun we get to do the next morning (watch Mickey Mouse or go to Grandma's house). I do this to try sending them to sleep with pleasant thoughts and get their minds thinking about something other than the fact that I'm getting ready to tuck them in and leave the room. THen I start their lullaby music and head out the door!

Hope this helps, good luck. I know it's hard to wake up several times during the night. Also try watching what she's seeing on TV, maybe she saw something that scared her and she's having nightmares? Which might explain why she wakes up in fits. When our son does that we do let him come in our bed, but it's not very often.

It took us almost a year to get my daughter to stay in her bed. She has had a twinbed since she was 16 months old. She is now 3 and has stayed in her bed forabout 6or8 months now. It is a fight but you have to be repetative. Pick one phrase to say. Like Night Night Lay Down. And say it in a firm voice. do not make bargains and do not give in. If you give in you will just go in reverse. Even if you have to stay up all night long. Do not walk out of the room when you put her down, but keep your face turned away from her. or your back turned. until she falls asleep. It is just a security thing. Don't give up no matter how tired you are. You just have to keep saying Lay Down Night Night or whatever you pick. Do not deviate!

My neice was 2 or 3 and would not sleep in her bed either and I took her shopping for new sheets and blanket and a doll of her choice that she wanted with her in her big girl bed and I also made a chart that when she slrpt in her bed each night she got to color a dot on a lady bug and when they were all colored in we went for a special playdate at McDonalds. It did work because she was excited to color in the dot each day and we really talked up the bid girl stuff she picked out for her special bed. What all have you tried?

First off she is almost three. You need to quit rocking her to sleep. Put your foot down. She needs to be in her own bed. It may take a few nights of crying but in the end it is all worth it.

Hi L.,
Well to get her in her own bed it's gonna be I fight I think. But I would look at a few things first is she in a regualr bed ? My 3 yr old daughter has been slepping in a normal bed before she even turned one she rufused to sleep in her crib but went right to sleeping in a normal bed. I would also say you are gonna have to lay her down in bed right from the start and if you have to rock her only 5 minutes and tell her so. I would just try getting her in her bed first falling asleep in there. Also you might have to go to bed a few nights early so she doesn't think she's gonna miss out on something. We had this battle with my oldest, my 3 yr old comes to our bed a couple nights a week sometimes but then she won't for a couple weeks. It's not really an issue for me on her coming to my bed in the middle of the night. But it's a must for eveyone to sleep in their own bed, lol or I can't get any sleep.
One way to get her to sleep in the is do your normal bedtime routine like if it's bath, sippy cup and lay down in bed and listen to a story and then lights out. Then you can sit next to her bed on the floor and wait till she falls asleep each night moving closer and closer to the door. Or put her in bed give her hugs and kisses and walk out, if she gets out of bed tell her bedtime and put her back and if she does it again put her back but don't say anything and put her back to bed. It may take a few hours but you will get it. Also one other note make sure her nap if she takes one isn't to late in the day, look at what she is drinking, eating no caffeine to keep her awake things like this. Hope this helps W. mom of 4.