My 2 Year Old Won't Sleep in His Bed and Wakes His Brother in the Same Room!

Updated on February 14, 2008
K.P. asks from Memphis, TN
15 answers

Help, we have all had the flu in my house and when my 2 year old had a 104 degree fever i let him sleep in our bed so i could keep an eye on him. Now he won't sleep in his big boy bed... all i hear is "mommy's bed" and screaming. My 3 1/2 year old shares his room with him and can not sleep. The two year old is waking up several times a night screaming. We are all without sleep. Any advice?

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Thank you for all of the great suggestions. Many we tried but he was still screaming for mommy's bed. As we have all recovered from the flu and Mommy is better too (and out of the hospital) we are getting into our normal routine again. I think that helps too. We have put the 2 year old back in his crib in his old room. We are using the night light and keeping the door open as some of you suggested. It has taken several nights of rocking, comforting and reassuring him that Mommy and Daddy are here and that there is nothing to be scared of. It seems to be working. He is sleeping through the night and when he does we praise praise praise him! And say "you did it"!!!! I have also given him a reward: like a coloring book if he stays in his crib all night and does not cry. This will be for the short term. We are all getting more sleep. I ahve a few more months before the baby comes and he can move back into his big boy bed with his brother.
Thank you again!!!

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.H.

answers from Nashville on

put him in his bed and read a book or sing some songs, then just lay with him till he falls asleep. After he starts staying in his own bed then you can lay with him for X ammout of time and let him know that you will be leaving befor he goes to sleep and set a timer so he is prepared that he will have to go to sleep, but you will lay with him for a while first.

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.L.

answers from Louisville on

What is the 3 year old doing? Does he have a good relationship with the two year old? Could he be teasing or scaring the three year old?

I weaned my children from our room by making a mat on the floor next to our bed at first. Also when my children got their own bed with their own special sheets they went to and stayed in their own room much easier.

Does your two year old have his own bed away from the three year old? Is there a night light?

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.R.

answers from Chattanooga on

He is two. He is testing his limitations and boundaries. DO NOT GIVE IN on this. The other options of a pallet beside your bed or the better one of laying with him for a while are good ones. It WILL pass. Just remain consistent.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.T.

answers from Clarksville on

Maybe try explaining the situation thats theres not enough room just mom and dad and that he has his own big boy bed. Maybe even try putting him to bed earlier and giving him something to relax and sleep. Maybe start a ritual that he can't sleep in your bed anymore but that he can have a story or two and a snack or whatever while you read to him and maybe he will pass out. Then again if he really fights you try putting him in his bed physically if he won't go otherwise and let him go to bed earlier than the other child and let him wail it out and then he probably will pass out. Ask him why he doesn't want to sleep in his own bed-it could be scary, too cold, too itchy, too dark and then go from there. I even did the leave the light on while he falls asleep in bed while I cleaned and straightened his room deal. Or leave it on while going from his room and to another and back again, my little one was more relaxed knowing I was still up and cleaning or doing things and feel asleep fast. Maybe add a nightlight, or music, or even the failsafe monsterspray. All it is is just water in a spray bottle with the words monster spray or some freebreeze or air freshner with the bottle redone on the label. Good luck. Let me know how it goes. ____@____.com

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.W.

answers from Raleigh on

I have a 5 year old and a 9 year old and though it may seem like an eternity before your children will be this age, it will be a blink! Just snuggle your 2 year old through this stage and wait until everyone is well past the flu before getting into normal beds again. Once you are all well and somewhat rested, you can re establish the desired bedtime routine.

Hang in there, it this is a season.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.B.

answers from Nashville on

It takes patience and determination. Assure him you love him but he has his own bed and has to sleep in it. Point out that brother is sleeping in his own bed. When he screams, ignore him. When he comes to your bed, take him back to his. This problems must be solved before you have your next baby or you will be exhausted and have trouble caring for any of them. Loving patience and determination will win out....you cannot give in to him..not even once or you have to start all over again.
I raised 5 and am doing it again with adopting a 10 year old and have 14 grandkids. You set the rules and enforce them with love and firmness. Letting your children sleep in your bed is a mistake. You and your spouse deserve that time together without children. They certainly inhibit intimacy. Their room is their room and parents room is parents room. In the long run, everyone sleeps better in their own bed.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.

answers from Chattanooga on

I would tell him that he only gets to sleep with Mommy when he has a high fever. He is all better know and needs to sleep in his own bed.If he gets up and comes to your bed, put him back in his own bed (don't give in!). I would tell him that if he gets up again you will take away something he loves for a day (like his favorite toy or the lovey he sleeps with). You will have to follow through with your threat but it will work. Kids like to push the rules. My kids know that they get to sleep with a parent when we go to Grandma's house or when we are on vacation or they are REALLY sick.

My kids are 4 and 6. Our rule is that if they get out of bed without a really good reason (sick, go potty, really bad nightmare) they get counted. When I get to 3 they get something taken away. It is usually one of the stuffed animals they sleep with or a favorite blanket or something like that. You may have to put him to bed twice but hardly ever a third time (once he knows you really will take something away). Good luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.B.

answers from Clarksville on

I know my son was like that until we moved to a new home got us a new bed and he never has even wanted to come in and sleep with us since.
I am sure this is probably not the solution you are looking for. All I can say is be presistant with him and making him stay in his bed, offer him a night light or let him pick out a stuffed toy with the understanding he must sleep with the toy in his own bed, or it will be lonely.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.S.

answers from Louisville on

I would put a little mattress on the floor in your room (an inflatable or crib mattress)Let your 2 year old know when he wakes up, that he may sleep on the mattress, but not in mommy's bed. It may take a couple more sleepless nights but he will learn mommy's bed is off limits. I've dealt with the same thing...I feel your pain.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.R.

answers from Nashville on

If you can, put them in separate rooms so that your 3-1/2 yr old can get some sleep. You need your rest as well so you need to keep this in mind as you come up with a solution.

I'm a working mom with 2 girls: 3-1/2 and 15 months. We didn't find a solution so everyone sleeps in one big bed. We're hoping that eventually the girls will sleep together and we'll get back to having our own bed.

Good Luck. And all the best with the new bundle of joy.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.S.

answers from Greensboro on

Do they have a night light? If not you can try giving him a flashlight for his bed time tell him he can look at books while his brother sleeps he will finally just fall a sleep. Also if he has stuffed animals, you can place them in his bed which will give him something close to him that will be there when he goes to sleep. I found as long as you let them have there way about returning to your bed it only gets harder for them to sleep alone.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.G.

answers from Fayetteville on

try sleeping in his bed with him and see if that works

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.A.

answers from Lexington on

Maybe he is just feeling insecure and needs your love and reassurance. I know it's frustrating sometimes, but he doesn't understand that you need space at night. You can't expect him to meet your needs, instead focus on meeting his need for extra love and security, no matter if it was caused by being sick or just realizing how great it was to be snuggle by his parents every night. To him, he just wants his parents to love him and tell him that everything is alright. Punishing him for that would be cruel! They are only small for such a short period of time, before you know it he'll be 15 and he won't even want you to kiss him goodnight.

Have you tried letting him snuggle in your bed and go to sleep there, then carrying him into his own bed and tucking him in while whispering sweet things in his ear and kissing him goodnight? If you absolutely can't have him in your bed, maybe make him a little sleeping space on the floor so that he knows he is welcome to come in and feel safe at night when he's scared. You never want to teach him that your bedroom is off limits, then he will feel like he can't come to you when he's in need...

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.R.

answers from Louisville on

We have a two-year old daughter that is going through the same thing. It's called sleep resistance and it's totally normal for a two-year old. Our doctor labeled it when we took Allie in for the second time in two weeks (she kept complaining that her ear hurt but she was healthy...it was just her way of extending bedtime).

There's lots on the web about it (Google toddler sleep resistance). I wish I could tell you exactly how to get through it, but we're in the middle of figuring it out ourselves. Right now, being stern (and consistent) when it's time to sleep and using lots of praise when she does sleep without crying is where we're at.

Wishing you lots of luck and patience (this too will pass)...K.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.M.

answers from Memphis on

Were you sleeping any better when he was feverish and sleeping with you? My 3 year old still sleeps with us most nights. Our secret is a king size bed! Even though dad is huge there is plenty of room for him and our 1 year old. He often falls asleep next to me, then my dh moves him to the foot of the bed when he comes to bed. I know with a big belly you might want to arrange things so you can make it out of bed easily at night for bathroom breaks. That's the only time I've really gotten frustrated with cosleeping- when I'm pregnant, stuck in the middle and have to climb over people in order to go potty.

And no, if you let him in your bed he won't have to stay there forever. He will probably want to go back sooner to be big like your oldest, especially since he doesn't have to sleep in a room by himself.

HTH!

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches