My 21 Month Gets Really Angry and Frustrated When I Try to Teach Him Anything.

Hes not even 2, give it up. Let him play. Kids learn a lot through playing. You don't need to explain everything to him now.

Stop teaching him. He's so little. Children learn through play, so let him play.

Show interest when he does something, but don't show him what you can do (pouring water, putting a shape through a hole) and then expect him (subtly even) to do the same thing. Let him do what HE wants. You'd be astounded at the joys and wonders he will discover.

Ask yourself why you feel the need to teach him certain things (and not others) and how you have chosen the things you believe he needs to master today vs. in 2 or 4 or 6 months. How did you decide on a certain order?

Frustration is an okay thing. Kids try when they get frustrated sometimes. So, you want him to pour water? Don't tell him or show him - put him in the tub or the kiddie pool with a funnel and some measuring cups or tupperware, and then (important) leave him alone! Put him in the sandbox or on the beach with a few things as well. Playing in sand or in dirt is just as good.

You want him to talk? Put on music (video, CD in the car) and sing away. Don't teach him - just do it and have fun yourself! Expect less, expose more, you know?

If you think he is seriously delayed in an area, then by all means discuss it with the pediatrician. If you can take short videos with your cell phone, great.

But if you have a child who is doing a little of everything - a little speaking, a little walking, a little gross motor stuff, a little fine motor stuff, he's probably on track. My guess is, you're trying to teach him ABC but you're missing that he's doing XYZ.

Just spent a weekend with my 21 month old nephew. He's the same.

One thing I wish I'd known with my first - was just to enjoy him, and not worry. Mine all hit milestones a bit late. My kids have all done very well.

I never 'taught' mine things at that age. I had picture books galore - as does my nephew - and we say 1-2-3! and show him colors and names of baby animals etc. It's all just for fun. He is repeating them back to us but it's when he picks up the book and brings it to us - not the other way around.

Mine never did what they were supposed to with toys at that age. They didn't stack blocks, they might have carried around the blocks. Mine did well with the Fisher Price toddler toys - put a ball in the top of the toy, and watch it spin around ... push the tree, and the toy animals moved around (that kind of thing). I let them figure it out. Sometimes it was quite a while after I gave it to them. It will come.

The ignoring you - that's what my nephew is doing at this stage. He is content to do what he wants. Totally normal.

He's not interested in what you are doing (putting square block in square hole). One of mine never was - he liked throwing blocks or stacking them up and knocking them down. Those toys are not always used for what they were intended. That's creativity too.

Yes - you are asking too much at this age. Also - asking them to do x, y and z by certain ages is not fair to your child, nor you. You will stress out. I did that with my first.

Toddlers and preschoolers can have huge leaps when you least expect it. I saw my nephew about a month ago, and can't believe how much he's changed. When you see a child every day, you don't notice that so much.

It's normal to be concerned :) But just take those baby books with a grain of salt. Remember, a lot of this is dictated by the child's personality that is really emerging at this point. I would let him take the lead :)

It sounds normal for that age to me and might just be his personality. Some kids are relaxed about trying new things and some get stressed in the process. Run your questions by your pedi at the next appointment, or if he goes to daycare and you trust that the staff is experienced in child development, ask them for their feedback. People who spend their entire day around little people can easily tell you what's just a typical thing vs a reason for concern.

FWIW, he sounds like my oldest son, who was just disproportionately angry at the world as a little kid. So stressed out all the time, about everything, from birth. I had a little boy who just had no chill at all LOL. He was easily frustrated and aggravated with everything, always on the verge of being upset, and hard to soothe. It was just the way he was...knocking over block towers when they wouldn't stay stable, crumbling papers when the drawing didn't look like he wanted it to, breaking pencils when school work got too hard, etc. I can tell you that things got better when he could communicate clearly with words, which was past his 3rd birthday, and that he managed to push that level of constant aggravation below the surface and become a happy, functional, mostly sweet boy by age 5 but quick to snap when something was stressful.

Some great books when my kids were small were Touchpoints Birth to Three (and the sequel, 3-6) and Raising Your Spirited Child. The first one is just a great book about development that goes beyond the basics. The second is the best book on personality and temperament that I've ever read. Both were great tools in helping me understand my kids and things like when to push vs when to let go, when to discipline vs just redirect or soothe, etc.

Totally normal for his age. He really is learning. He's learning by doing. He'll figure these things out just like he figured out how to roll over, how to crawl and how to sit up. Those weren't things you had to show him how to do. He got there on his own.

There is a way you could help encourage him to talk a bit more, if you want. If you think he wants something to drink, you could hold up his cup and say, "Do you want a drink? If you want a drink, say, 'Yes." Or drink or milk or cup or whatever. Don't give it to him until he repeats the word. Now, if he gets super frustrated, back off. But that is one area where I would probably encourage him and try to increase his language skills.

One of my kids had speech delays, and this is one of the things we tried. But I also did this with his older brother (long before my youngest was born). I found myself getting frustrated that I didn't always know what he wanted, so I was trying to be proactive. I really wanted him to learn the word "Yes" and use it. I got annoyed very quickly with simply grunting and pointing. So this was more for me and my sanity than for him :-)

Yes, he's too young for right now.
It took a while for me to teach our son to roll a soft ball back to me once I rolled it to him.
I used a soft washable nerf ball and we played with it over and over again - half the time he'd pick it up and chew it - but eventually he got it.
Soft toys are the best - they can't hurt if they get thrown around (and before he learns not to throw things in the house).
'Learning' right now (and for several years) is playing - so take it easy and have some fun.
Get a book like "What to Expect the Toddler Years" to give you an idea about child development and what to expect at what stage/age he's at.
Our son's talking didn't really take off till after his 2nd birthday and then it was chatter chatter chatter all day long.

The problem is that he can't communicate with you. Not being able to talk is VERY frustrating.

It is CRITICAL that you tell your pediatrician that you need an speech/language evaluation for your son. It takes several months to get that scheduled, and you want it to be done right after he turns 24 months.

It takes effort on your part to advocate for your son. I had to do this because my son couldn't talk at this age either. I will tell you point blank that at his evaluation, which was done by a team of early intervention specialists/therapists, they told me that I could NOT wait until he was 3 years old to start getting him help. He needed it immediately. They were right.

Get started on this process now.

Maybe try a little sign-language...we checked a DVD out from the library. Taught our kids how to sign for "more, all done, water, milk, cracker, thank you, please" and quite a few more for my son and then not as many with my daughter as she started talking sooner. It really helped their frustration level when they couldn't quite talk yet, but knew what they wanted to "say". Good luck!!

Toddlers learn best by play and doing, not by being shown. They are also still figuring out motor skills. Give him the toys and leave him to it while he figures it out at his own pace. He's frustrated because you're bothering him, basically, and making his toys more of a chore then a pleasure.

Toddlers don't play 'with' other people very much, more like next to them. Wait until he chooses to interact with you, such as hands a block or cup to you to try. Should he give you a square block, pretend like you don't know which hole it goes into. He will may find it funny and then show you where it goes!

You might consider a few basic signs. That really helped me with my son when he was that age. I think if you play with him sometimes you can do those things on your own but don't act like you want him to repeat it, reverse psychology in a way! ;) He might see you doing things and then want to try and repeat them...or he may not! It sounds like you have the right attitude after reading your SWH, so I think you're on the right track. If you do think he might have a speech delay (which to me it doesn't necessarily sound like he does) then I do agree with the statements Doris made about looking into it asap. I knew my son was delayed at that age, I could just tell. People told me he was fine, but I just knew. I pushed for testing by Parents as Teachers (funding has been cut multiple times but google it, they are AMAZING!) and he qualified. He then graduated within 6 weeks and was well on his way to phrases and sentences by the age of 2.

It sounds like his personality! Instead of trying to get him to do thingsI would just spend each day talking to him, pointing out things, saying the name, counting up to 5 objects, pointing out letters, showing him how to put the square piece in the hole. Read to him multiple books every single day. Point along at the pictures or words. Even just 3 books a day. Keep encouraging him to say the word for objects...but try to do the sign language at the same time. (for the easy things: more, milk, down, up, drink, food)You know, each kid has such a different personality. My son was easily frustrated and learning some sign language helped him a lot. He wanted me to do things for him.He never wanted to build with blocks...he wanted me to do it and he wanted to knock it down only. His sister was the opposite...she wanted to do it all herself right away. She didn't get frustrated. I had several friends whose sons didn't talk much even at age 3 but then they were all completely caught up by Kindergarten.