My 3 Month Old Cries All Day Long

As a nanny, my little one I care for was a fussy baby, and the only solution I found was to wear her in a baby K'tan and go about my day. She was perfectly content!

Invest in a good sling, and this should help you.

this is NOT colic, but sounds like acid reflux. My oldest son did this and every told me he was just a fussy baby or colic. BUt crying all day, every day plus not sleeping is usually acid reflux. Finally found a dr who listened to me and did not dismiss me. Put him on zantac and after two weeks I had the happiest baby.

I'm assuming since you've had her treated for acid reflux she's seeing a doctor regularly but have they checked for an ear infection?

My neighbor has a now 6 year old that she has said time and time again was the most miserable infant she's ever known. She said he would cry and scream all the time and was never happy, not even nursing made him happy. She's never had him diagnosed but she assumes now that he has always had some sensory issues. Perhaps your baby is just really bothered by certain smells, sounds, or even too much touch. I know it's overwhelming but perhaps try to keep a journal of what exactly is going on when she seems to be the most upset. Is the room loud or bright? Is she more or less unhappy when being held? If you can figure out what environment makes her the happiest (or at least less unhappy) you can make sure she has that environment all the time to help lessen your stress and her discomfort.

Also, if you are feeling stressed and frustrated by her crying when you are trying to soothe her, babies can sense your feelings and it will make the situation worse. Try to remain calm. If you have to just lie her down in her crib and let her cry for a little bit to retain your sanity, go ahead and do it.

Oh, and my friends son is perfectly fine now and it did get better! At the time I'm sure it seems like it will never end, but it will.

Good luck,
K.

I have totally been in your shoes. My son screamed all day long for 4 mos. Naps were non-existent. I held him ALL the time- to the point where I got bursitis in my shoulder. Doc said he was fine, gaining weight,and he would grow out of it. I thought if one more person told me that, I would scream- it did nothing to help me at that moment. Those were some very hard times.
Your daughter DOES have colic- albeit the worst kind. Colic is a period of crying that starts at 3 weeks, last more than 3 hours a day, more than 3 days a week, and goes on for at least 3 months. No one knows why some babies develop colic, but it happens more than you think. At least 1 out of 4 develop some form of colic.
I look back over this period now, and some things have come to light. My son was breastfed exclusively for about 3 months and was completely weaned by about 4 1/2 mos when I had to return back to work. The colic subsided around the time I stopped breastfeeding completely. When he turned 1 year old, we discovered he had a severe egg allergy and mild peanut allergy. It all started to make sense- my diet while breastfeeding was causing his problems. If you are breastfeeding, try eliminating all possible allergens. Also, I lived by the 5 s's to control the crying. It was about the only thing that would help when he was screaming:
http://www.babyslumber.com/happiestbaby.html
Although it is a long, upsetting time right now, there is a silver lining to colic. Babies with colic grow up to be statistically more intelligent, social, verbal, and bright than their non-colicky counterparts. It is so true. My son will be 4 in August and he is all of those wonderful things and more. Hang in there and get lots of support from your husband and family. Once colic is over, time FLIES!

J.,
I know you probably have been advised against this - but pick her up and carry her. Everywhere. Get a sling, moby, wrap, whatever she fits in (some stores will let you try them on). If you order online there's a time period to return it in to exchange size or get your money back. use it to experiment.
I'm willing to bet she will respond - maybe not immediately - but she will respond.

If that doesn't work or if you are really truly up against the 'going nuts' wall - get a second opinion. Naturopath, Doctor, whomever you can afford. Your baby is NOT happy, and needs attention, medical or otherwise.

Did it start at birth? She may have a mild case of autism, or other metabolic disorder. She may not have colic at all.

Is there ANYTHING you do that calms her? She stops at 10 PM - whY? Is she left in her crib at that time?

I'd love to know more to help you unravel this, but you really didn't post much about her behavior. No slam, just sayin'.

Good luck, and hope you update soon.
M.

i had a similar situation with my daughter when she was about that age. when i really thought about it, i knew it was because she was tired. she wasn't a great napper at all and was hard to fall alseep at night, not to mention waking up in the night to eat. babies need their sleep and when they dont get enough this is what happens. you've tried other methods and those were probably not the causes of the crying. you can try find a routine for sleep....like bathing, massaging, reading a book, music etc.....i used to dance a lot with my daughter to get her to fall asleep for naps and also enjoy the music. dont get frustrated....she will get better. best of luck

Hi There,
I really can't say I feel your pain, as I have had 2 relatively easy babies (though toddlerhood is a different story- ha!) Anyway, I just wanted to mention, that maybe she has Sensory Processing Disorder. This basically means that her Nervouse System is not developing/integrating information from the senses typically, which can cause overstimulation as a result of sensitivity to touch, movement, temperature change etc. Usually it is not diagnosed in such young infants and parents and teachers generally become aware of it when a child enters school and can not cope with thier environment. It could be that she is just overwhelmed with the world around her. Maybe she is too overstimulated by constantly being held although intentions are good. Maybe she would benefit from some quiet time a few times a day in a dim room in a bouncy seat? Ofcourse, I am sure you tried everything and it sounds like the probiotics are helping (they definately won't hurt!). Anyway, if she continues to be a fussy baby and into toddlerhood, and she just doesn't seem to be adapting to her environment, get her evaluated by an Occupational Therapist. In the meantime, just keep doing what you are doing and loving her, advocating for her and trying everything your mommy instinct tells you to try. Best wishes.

My nephew was just as you described. Turns out, his stomach was having a hard time digesting, no matter what formula he was on. They thought good bacteria in his gut would be helpful. My sister gave him baby probiotics and he dramatically improved. You can find them at health food stores. The refrigerated probiotics are the best quality and will help the most. It's worth a try!!

Are you trying to schedule your baby? If you are, stop! Follow her routine her natural order. If she's hungry, feed her! If she's tired, let her sleep. If she's cranky, get a sling and wear her. Your won't create a dependent baby, she is a little more high needs than most babies, and she needs to be worn to gather the independence to be away from you. If you sling her daily, she will foster that sense of you always being there, and will gradually get ot the point where she can be by herself. I wore my boys daily for months, and they also coslept (to nurse) and now at 8 and 4, they are two of the most outgoing, independent children you will ever meet. They have zero attachment issues.

My point is, you cant' get what she needs out of a book or doctors office, she needs YOU to just be there, hold her, sling her, so she can breathe in your scent and feel your heartbeat, so she can gain the feeling of confidence that mom will always be there, even if she's not RIGHT THERE. wear her in a sling when she's awake, don't try to schedule her, follow HER cues. Trust me, when you do that, youwill be be alot happier.

my third had colic, crying lasted for 8 months. He is 9 months now and it is just improving. I felt like I must be doing something wrong and tried EVERYTHING. I felt horrible as a mom not being able to help him feel better. Fortunately as he has gotten older he has a sweetnes and a gentleness that makes the crying bearable. He is just a tough baby but every baby is different. It is hard and exhausting. I never used this advice but know you should take time for you and be kind to yourslef. A colic baby does not mean you are in for years of difficulty. You are in my prayers. It is very HARD! I still belive somthing is not right with my little guy but can't figure it out. I love him and do the best I can!!!!

If she has reflux, then don't let her sleep on a completely flat surface. Put phone books under one end of her crib to raise her head a little higher than her stomach. Or, let her sleep in a papasan-style swing or Nap Nanny or something safe but at an incline. She's still not too old to be swaddled very tightly to be calmed. Maybe she has allergies too? My daughter's mild reflux was not diagnosed until 18 months old, although in hindsight she had subtle symptoms all along and was a terrible sleeper (everyone blamed me for not sleep-training her successfully). Her pediatrician never believed that she could have reflux because she was gaining weight beautifully. Also, my daughter has food allergies that were not diagnosed until almost 1-year. Keep looking for 2nd and 3rd opinions from well-recommended doctors. Good luck!

Hang in there mama! It will get better, it has too! I have known other mamas in similar situations have much success when taking their babies to chiropactors and also getting cranio sacral massage. I would definitely check that you. Also, do you wear her in a sling or carrier? That could help a lot. Check out websites on baby wearing to get some good recommendations on slings. Personally, I LOVED my Baby K'tan. I buy them for all my friends having babies. One last thing. if you are breastfeeding, stick with it!! Just try making changes to your diet and see if that helps. If you are doing formula, I would so some online research to see what alternatives are out there(but NOT soy!), like one poster seaid, goat;s milk is more easily digested and I know that some mothers have made their own formula form whole foods/liquids which might be easier to digest for your little one than the powdered, highly processed stuff from the can. Also, you could look into milk banks to maybe find breastmilk for her, hey sounds kind of cookie, but I would try just about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING if in the same situation. Good luck, hang in there!!

Dear J.,

In a baby this young, the likeliest thing is probably a dietary intolerance. If you're daughter's on formula, switch to a non-dairy brand. If you're breast-feeding, eliminate the following from your diet:

Dairy
Wheat
Nuts
Soy
Eggs

I did that with my son, though within a few months I was able to reintroduce everything but dairy. No, this diet is not fun at first, but when you get used to it, it's not that bad (think oatmeal with rice milk for breakfast, grilled chicken salad for lunch, etc.). And I lost the baby weight and then some like THAT. (I don't mean to assume that this is an issue for you, it just was for me.) A lot of pediatricians aren't trained to catch the kinds of dietary intolerances that don't cause classic allergic symptoms (e.g., anaphylactic shock). If yours is giving you the runaround, try getting a referral to a pediatric gastroenterologist, or look around for a naturopathic physician or a holistic nutritionist.

Hang in there!

Mira

You poor thing!!! You must be very tired, sad, and frightened. My son was very unhappy his first 2 months. His first month he cried a lot. Then his second month he had colic. Nursing him definetely helped. He needed to be held close to be soothed. Sounds like she is very tired. My son would only sleep for one hour at a time and only if held. It was a vicious cycle. Can you hold her or put her in a sling? How about a swing? Many babies are soothed by motion. It sounds like if you have ruled out obvious medical issues (could she still be hungry? Constipated?) then she might have a sensory issue that will more than likely resolve itself. Try holding her closely, maybe try swaddle blankets, swings, white noise, taking her out, driving in the car, ect. It will get better!!

Honey, I'm sorry for your pain. I know how horrible it is not to be able to make your baby happy--that's what we are programmed to do. Is she on breast milk or formula? If formula, what kind? Also, are you using nursery water to make the formula, if using formula. DON'T go to soy formula. The dangers are documented if you look. Goat's milk is much healthier and easier to digest.

Babies are like everyone else--they want to be happy. You are searching--you will find the answer. Feel free to email me direct, I'll do whatever I can.

I don't know how often she eats, but if she only eats for a few minutes and then dozes off, it may be just related to her eating schedule. The "Babywise" book will explain how to schedule feedings so that a baby gets enough quality milk to make them (and their) tummy, happy.

Does she sleep with you? Snuggle time, skin time, is very comforting to a baby.

Keep your chin up and love your baby and keep trying!

Best wishes and blessings

One of my sons had colic. One of the things that soothed him was the "white noise". We took the belt off the vaccum cleaner and turn it on. he was in his bouncy seat. Something else I heard worked (never tried it since the vaccum worked) was to strap her colicky one in her car seat and put on top of the dryer and turn it on. Of course this wasn't the new HE models. Something about the little bit of bouncing and the noise worked wonders. Just some ideas that might give you a little peace right now.

OK so my guess is that this is your first and you have not learned how to talk to your pediatrician. I know that sounds stupid, but when the MD says he isn't concerned you have to say. "you would be if you had to take care of him" and "well that is too bad because I am worried about him" Something is wrong with a baby that cries all the time. Just because he is gaining does not mean he has no allergy, it means he isn't in need of medical intervention. You need advice. If as you say he cries all day - one of mine did. It was harder to care for him than it was the twins. Call the MD's office and talk to the nurse. She may be able to give you some advice and then if she thinks you have a medical problem she will clue the MD. Is he hungry? Hungry babies always cry. I was told to feed him every time he cried. I finally said if I did that I would never stop. Get the idea. They finally realized that he was allergic. Best decision. It was a typical symptoms of allergy that the MD did not pick up and neither did I but the allergist did.
God bless you and give you His wisdom.
Write me I always answer my messages
SAHM married 40 years with 4 adult children. If it can happen, it probably happened to me or at least one of my foster kids or friends.

J.. i feel your pain. i had twins that did this. my nerves were shot every day! firts, try to fins something called "Gentle Natural Homeopathic Teething drops" it has Winnie-the-Pooh on the box. i found it at Target but i'm sure there are other places. It is essentially chammomile so it is safe, but check with your Doc if you have concerns. second, it sounds like your baby is not getting enough "good" rest. get yourself some sleep training books--what every works for your philosophy. try to read your baby's tiredness cues or maybe she is just over stimulated. i found that my twins needed a break/nap every 1.5 hours which is more frequent than typical, but seemed to take the edge off everybody. also, if you are formula feeding, you migt try a different type, lactose-free or soy? if it is gas that is making her uncomfortable. my kids all loved the infant swing too and would nap in there all the time. some kids hate it, but mine loved it. good luck.

Hi J.! It sounds like you've tried everything and I soooo feel for you. It doesn't make motherhood much fun when you have a crying baby all the time. I'm so sorry!

I did not read all the other posts, but thought I'd share two of my own experiences. First, my daughter as an infant cried all the time. It sounds just like what you described! I discovered that she was allergic to the proteins in cow's milk. Evidently, this is very common. I exclusively breastfed and I had to eliminate all milk, yogurt, and cheese out of my diet and ultimately out of my breast milk. Within a few days my daughter was a completely different child and such a joy.

Second, my godson had issues breathing when he slept and wasn't getting quality sleep. It took almost a year before the problem was finally diagnosed. So many other things were tried first. Finally, when he was about a year old he had his adenoids and tonsils removed and he became a completely different child. Looking back on it, a couple of signs that were indicative of his issue was snoring and excessive drooling. He just couldn't get much air in through his nose.

I don't know if this information will help you. Regardless, I just said a prayer for you asking that you may find some answers soon and have the opportunity to enjoy your little one. God bless!

try Little Tummy Gripe Water. its herbal, soothing, wont hurt, give as much as u want. find it on the baby isle

PLEASE do not give your baby anything until you've run it past the pediatrician and tried to establish a cause.

Just because something is over the counter or "herbal" doesn't make it safe for children that young. That's why cough and cold medications are now restricted for children under the age of 6 - people were giving incorrect doses and creating HUGE health issues.

Colic, by definition, is a baby crying for any and no reason pretty much all the time. I'm not sure who told you it was a nighttime thing, but they gave you bad information. There's usually no cause and tends to go away by 3 months but can last longer.
http://www.healthychildren.org/english/search/pages/resul...

My daughter was colicky - it was miserable. She was able to get some relief by pressing on her stomach - perhaps it was gas related. Products like mylicon and gripe water are OK when used proactively, but they do little when used as needed.

My son was the exact same way for 12 weeks and then I let him sleep on his belly. Turns out, he was uncomfortable on his back, even when swaddled, and wasn't getting enough sleep at night or during naps, which were both very short amounts of time, so he was exhausted! The first night I turned him over, he went right to sleep and has been a great sleeper/napper since then - he's almost four. I know belly-sleeping is taboo, but it's worth trying it at least for naps. Sometimes, you just have to do what works.

Some babies are just fussy in spite of our best efforts. My niece has twins and one is very happy go lucky and the other one is a little crank. He even fusses when he's being held and toted around. They're a year old now and he is getting better. It sounds horrible, but sometimes you just have to kind of learn to tune it out a little bit. Which is way easier said than done, to be sure.
One of my nephews woke up in a grumpy mood every morning of his life.
I used to feel bad for him. His parents spanked him every single day because he didn't get up all alert and cheerful and happy to greet the day. I'm talking 6, 7, 8 years old and they were spanking him. For being grumpy in the morning. I'm not a morning person either. I didn't see how spanking him was going to make him like mornings all the sudden. He turned out fine, still doesn't like mornings, but he and his wife have a very successful catering business.

She may or may not grow out of her "grumpiness" all together, but I imagine things will settle down as the pediatrician has said. And, it sounds like you've tried everything. It's just something you'll have to ride out.

Hang in there! Things will get better!

I know how you feel. My opinion is that your baby is very tired. She can not make longer naps because she is exhausted... Try SWADDLING, it help edwith my 2 babys ( I have 3 children: 4 years, 3 years and 8 months). She will probably need few days to get used to it, but she will love it, it feels like to be in mommy's tummy. Once you follow the routine and doing exactly the same steps before she goes to bed, it will be predictible to her and she will go to sleep before you leave the room. I did always something like bed ritual..first close the windows, close the curtains, clean diaper , swaddle, give her pacifier if she like it and turn on "soothe music toy" (a sort fluffy toy with string you can pull on and it play music for about 2 minutes). If you repeat always the same ritual she will recognize it. Of course you can make your own ritual. The important thing is to do always exactly the same. For the rest of the time, you have to look good at you baby and follow her rhytm, not your schedule of the day...I know it sounds terrible but she is the boss, that's the way it is for the first couple of months. I was also carying my second baby a lot in a baby bjorn, he cried all the time. In a few months this all will disappeare, trust me, she WILL grow over it and she will let you know when she is too big/strong for swaddling. And also: ask for help!! somebody can walk with your baby in a stroller and you can sleep !!!!!!!
Good luck!
A.

I am assuming you have been to your pediatrician and explained all this? Colic is not necessarily just in the evening. did your pediatrician rule this out? I would probably get a second opinion if your pediatrician does not have any other ideas. Medication for such a young baby does not sound like the right option, in my opinion, however if the dr.prescribed it, i guess it would be ok. There may be something physically wrong for the amount of time you are saying she cries. I feel for you and for your baby because it sounds like neither one of you is enjoying themselves and that there is definitely something wrong. Go to a different doctor and see if they have any other ideas or options..

My son was the same way. He seemed like he was bored and had to be in constant motion. I used to carry him around in the baby bjorn carrier. He seemed entertained by this. Also, he liked being around people. Seemed to need a lot of stimilation. Now he is very curious and active at 3. Also, he was a bad napper. I later read that they can be very tired but need our help to get to sleep. Does your daughter like stroller rides? That may help her sleep or give her things to look at. This is a really tough age. Hang in there!

I know its rough have you tryed liqid zantac for the reflux thats what my son is on. Not sure what else but i know it makes you crazy try and be patient make sure you have help 24/7 so you dont loose your cool and you need brakes to leave her with grandma or someone else so you can have some peace.

Is she on soy formula try that also its for sensitive tummys.

Since it seems like your at your witts end (I would be too), I'm guessing that you're open to trying anything.
I was a big fan of Colic Calm for my kids when they crying was inexplicable. It's not just for colic. There seems to be some magic ingredient in there (all natural) that always helped my kids calm down and sleep.
Maybe give it a shot? If there is something physical ailing her, this may help, although the other poster that mentioned ear infections makes a good point. She might benefit from an overall physical. THAT much crying is a little odd.

www.coliccalm.com

Hi J.: That's coincidental because my daughter, Jacki was collic 12 hours a day and it was during the day. Jacki is now 26 and I joined this group to learn some new info as I now have a 7 wk old grandbaby. If I knew then what I know now.... Anywho, I've been researching/studying herbal supplements and nutrition for 25 yrs (as a passion). Collic babies usually have digestive issues and dairy formulas really bother(sensitivies) their stomachs. I would suggest a non-dairy formula or even better fresh goats milk. You should research on the net how beneficial and much easier on little tummies goats milk is. I know how frustrating it is to have a baby cry for so many hours a day but I can assure you that if you try the above you may have a happier baby. Take good care.

Hi J.,

My son was colicky and I was ready to throw myself out the window. At 3 he still has this intensity and when he is in a bad mood -- watch out. I'm not sure if anyone recommended this to you -- if truly there are no medical reasons for your baby's behavior, the best thing you can do is hand her over to someone -- a grandma, other relative, babysitter, and get out of the house. I wish I had taken my own advice. I was sure I was harming my baby by not being there for him while he was crying for hours and hours, but in reality, he didn't know the difference and maybe I would have felt a little more sane.

Good luck!
B.