My 3 Month Old Is Already Obsessed with Television...

Updated on May 12, 2010
A.K. asks from Mountain View, CA
55 answers

My in-laws used to "watch" my newborn the first few weeks while I recovered from my pregnancy as I had some complications. Whenever they wanted to keep her occupied they put her in her swing and let her watch TV, as they watched a lot of TV themselves. I promised myself I would not allow her to watch TV after they left, but I am finding that if I need to leave her for a few minutes (such as making breakfast or lunch for myself or answering an urgent phone call) the only way I can "safely" keep her occupied is if the TV is on. She finds sitting in her swing boring now- the mobile no longer amuses her, and if we turn off the TV or stand in front of it she protests. She still likes her play gym and her toys, but I am nervous about leaving her alone on the floor when I am not right next to her. Have I screwed up my kid already or is it OK to let them watch for 10 or so minutes a day?

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So What Happened?

Thanks for your suggestions! It actually hasn't been as hard as we thought to wean her off the TV. We're making an effort to play music or use the infant carrier with a toy attached, and when she's really cranky, the toy gym. And for those who were upset by the question, I have to admit there are times when I need to get things done (like use the bathroom!) AND she's cranky and TV would be only thing that would distract her for a few minutes, which us why I asked the question in the first place.

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J.D.

answers from Burlington on

Hi. My 5 month old demanded my full attention until a few days ago. She has became more independent and can entertain herself with her playgym for longer periods. Previously, all she wanted was me. She would wail and screech if she did not see me for even a couple of minutes. I used to keep her by my side by pushing her all around the house in her stroller, even to the bathroom/shower. I think it's just a phase in her development. She should outgrow it soon.

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A.T.

answers from Stockton on

I notice with both of my babies that if I put the TV on a show that has predominantly female, calm voices - like Martha Stewart or HGTV they were calm while I snuck off to brush my teeth or take a quick shower.
Once she learns to roll over you won't be able to leave her on the floor. My son rolled under the coffee table ( I didn't know he could roll over ) across the room - I could hear him babbling and thought he was on his play gym behind me while I worked on the computer. Scared me when I looked and couldn't see him - I followed his voice and had a good laugh once I found him. He seemed very proud of himself.

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K.F.

answers from Cleveland on

My son started watching tv (disney channel mostly) at 3 months. He was an EXTREMELY fussy baby and it was honestly the only thing that would make him happy. I didn't sit him in front of it all day long, but he did watch it regularly and still does now (he's 22 months old) I was always so worried that I was making him dumb and slowing his development, but it hasn't at all. He is very smart. He says 150+ words and is started to develop sentences. He catches onto things very quickly and can even read his own name! I would always read online about the negative effects of TV on infants and toddlers and how it will poorly effect how they learn, but I do not believe that now. I would never suggest putting a child infront of the TV for an entire day with no interaction, but what you have going on right now is fine!!

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R.C.

answers from Portland on

This is a little edit: I just want to say that also in the book mentioned below, you'll see that no, you have not ruined your baby's mind. Babies and children have this fantastic plasticity in their brains that can change the way their brain works. But also, you'll see that a lot of things get wired in there from ages 0-3 that are semi-permanent. The Science of Parenting is another good book on this.

I know you've gotten lots of answers, but I have a lot of passion about this. I recently read a book called "Bright From the Start" by Dr. Jill Stamm. She explains what is happening neurologically in babies brain development. She talks about what happens when a baby watches TV, and it is VERY BAD. What we need to understand first off, is that a baby's brain DOES NOT process what they see on TV the same way an adult does. Babies are mapping everything they see into their brain. The second thing is that babies don't know anything about how the world is made up, and they are making connections at a rate that is incomprehensible rate to adults (because we have already made all those connections). They need all their senses to integrate, and everything to be in a 360 degree, 3 dimensional context to correctly map how the world works and is put together. A TV image has no smell, temperature, depth, texture, and it has nothing to do with the room it is in. When a baby watches it, the baby incorrectly processes what he/she is seeing, as real. That is why babies who watch TV can have sensory integration disorders later, and that is why yes, I'm sorry, but 10 minutes is too much. The AAP is serious when they say NO TV for children under 2, and VERY limited after that.

Babies are seeking things to learn, and they are fascinated by many many things, especially things that have different textures and patterns. This is because they are figuring out that when something looks like this, it feels like this, etc. Dr. Stamm uses as an example, to remember when you were learning to drive. Remember how heightened your awareness was of every little thing? Noises, spatial sense, motor skills, etc? Babies brains are firing away even faster, all the time they are awake. And then as they learn, things slow down, just like now you drive without thinking about it all that much.

My son never saw the TV until he was 2.5 (and then it was just the news on TV for us, not a kids show), and didn't see a kids DVD until he was 3. He is able to amuse himself basically indefinetely during the day. We interact with him, of course, but he just plays with his trains, a ball, or animals or whatever. He's extremely easy.

I'm glad you're aware and looking to do the best thing for your baby. I highly recommend the book I mentioned. She has easy little games to play with your baby to give them optimum development. It's a great and fascinating book.

I also want to point out that there was a massive recall of Baby Einstein DVD's last year, under pressure of a lawsuit of deceptive business practices. Disney offered people their money back if you brought in your DVDs. The reasons were because it is well known in the medical and scientific community that it is bad for babies development to watch TV, not good for it, as the DVDs claimed. I'm sorry for the people who were decieved by the ad campaigns and false advertising, but it is not a benign thing to let a baby watch TV.

Also, it is the TV that triggers ADD. That's because babies are learning to develop sustained attention, but TV switches views every few seconds, and that disrupts attention. There is a positive link between young children watching TV and ADD/ADHD at age 7, and also for sensory integration disorders. There is even a Cornell University study that found a positive correlation between higher autism rates in young children who were TV watchers.

If you are over 30, you probably did not watch TV as a baby. That is why half of our classmates didn't have these disorders in our elementary schools. Now that Disney and others have been marketing to young children for 20 years, we have much worse issues in the schools now.

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T.H.

answers from San Francisco on

If you stop using the TV now, your daughter will learn to soothe herself over time. One thing you shouldn't do is "give in" to her crying and turn the TV back on to get her to be quiet; this will teach her to cry to get her way and the behavior will not ever be extinguished. Once you decide to turn off the TV, stick to your guns.
I think it is quite harmful to expose infants or even preschoolers to TV.
Children need to learn how to be able to be alone and amuse themselves and to be able to tolerate silence at least for short periods of time so they can develop a sense of self sufficiency and mastery of the world around them. If they are always surrounded by noise (pollution) they will not learn to be calm and content with simple toys. TV will rob them of their imaginations and ability to create stories of their own.

A little about me: I am a child psychiatrist in Palo Alto, in practice 16 years. Married 20 years, with two children, 19 and 13.

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L.M.

answers from New York on

You have not screwed up your child, however it's time to turn off the tv. Better yet get rid of it. NO, it is not ok to let a 3 month old sit in front of a tv.

How mobile is she at 3 months that you can leave her on the floor alone for a short period. It's not like she's going to crawl around or reach for something (other than the toys you provide) and pull it down on top of her. If your that concerned, put her in her crib or a play pen.

When your making meals, put her in a high chair (or other safe seat), give her a toy or two, and talk to her or sing to her while your making meals.

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

Researchers in brain development belief that passive TV for kids under 2 or 3 years is harmful and should be avoided. A few minutes a couple of times a week isn't likely to mess her up, but I would find options to making the TV a substitute caretaker on a regular basis.

Plan ahead for those events that you know will intrude on your time with her. You could wear her so she's up where the action is while you cook or keep house; she'll love the closeness and opportunity for conversation while you describe what you're doing. You could prop her up where she can watch you, on a table or counter in a carrier, while you work in the kitchen.

A high chair is a good option when she can sit upright. I imagine you'll think of other ideas that work for you, but they won't appear by magic. You'll need to keep considering what goals you have in mind for your little girl's language and social development, and keep adjusting your techniques to make the most of what's available.

You haven't screwed up your daughter. Could happen if you let her be seduced by TV.

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A.D.

answers from Sacramento on

Everyone is so nice in their answers, it sounds to me either you want "permission" to let your kid watch TV from all of us moms or you really need more info. In either case you have not YET done any serious damage, it takes a little more time then a few months. Having said this, you do need to GOOGLE GOOGLE GOOGLE "TV and Infant development" and "TV and ADHD studies" I have found studies showing that there are links to TV watching and later ADD/ADHD. I work in the education system and feel we are now really seeing the effects of the technology era vs the being outside and playing era that I came from. Good luck and do GOOGLE it for yourself!

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J.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Put the baby in the swing and turn on some music, it's good for the brain. Heard classical is especially good. She will get used to it and maybe turn out to be the smartest kid on the block!! lol Good Luck

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K.F.

answers from Salinas on

Why are you nervous about leaving her on the floor? If you don't loosen up a bit about that, the next few years will run you ragged! She is not addicted to TV, she's just focusd on the light/sound. Turn it off, leave her on the floor with the gym or in the swing pointed towards the window or something interesting and do what you have to do. Enjoy the fact that she stays where you put her, it won't last much longer!

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V.G.

answers from Portland on

I would take the tv away immediately. A lot of people on here say it doesn't do any harm, but they obviously haven't done any research. Here is a website that talks about it:
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/01/090113074419...

Its not necessarily the tv PROGRAM that harms the young ones, but the flashing lights, quick scene changes and noise. Another study I read said that babies actually don't understand tv noises as communication, but that they can when you talk to them.
Keep your daughter with you- she'll stay entertained and she'll love being closer to you!

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J.W.

answers from Yuba City on

She is 3 months old and does not need to watch TV. It's stimulating because there are colors and movement. She is too young to be left unassisted, even for 10 minutes. Bring her into the room where you are and let her play with toys. Yes, 10 minutes a day is too much. Children should not watch tv until at least 2 years of age. No, you did not already screw her up (you're being too hard on yourself) but set the example now. If you can't turn off your tv now at 3 months you will have a hard time setting boundries later.

J.

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J.L.

answers from Seattle on

Turn off your TV! No child at that age should be watching TV. If you need to put her in a safe place while to do something for a few minutes, put her in her crib or a pack and play with a few toys.

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M.M.

answers from San Francisco on

A lot people here say that studies have showed the TV is bad for kids, but has anyone here said, "My kid is doing bad in school, is a problem child and it's all because he wants to watch TV all the time"? I don't like my baby watching that muhc TV either because I rather spend some time playing with him or that he plays with his toys,but when he gets really fussy, I put Sesame street (healthy habits DVD) or Bby einstein, he'll watch it for 15 minutes or so. So don't worry about it, just try to distract her (it will take some time) and if at last, then let her watch something healthy but only for a few minutes. I also promised myself I would not let him watch TV, but it's hard because my husband and I use to watch a lot of tV, so it's in his genes too.
good luck and don't feel bad, some things just don't turn out the way we want them too

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C.C.

answers from Fresno on

Ten minutes won't hurt anything. I'd routinely turn on Baby Einstein videos if I needed to occupy my babies while I took a shower, etc. (Seemed preferable to have them happily watching tv than hurling themselves at the playpen walls screaming their heads off?!) I'm happy to report that now they are both straight-A students with excellent attention spans, and my youngest has been moved ahead a grade. I guess if TV really rots their brains, then my kids would have been super geniuses without TV! LOL

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

Just turn off the TV. Place your child's swing in front of the sliding glass door or window and play music instead.

You can hang a wind sock , a yard spinner and some chimes out there. Hang them at a lower level so your child can watch them. I also like to have some prism crystals close to the windows for our cat, she loves watching the colors move on the wall, I bet your child would too.

Throw out some bird seed or get a bird feeder.. I also love those squirrel bungees.. You put a corn cob on them and the squirrels go crazy hanging on while eating the corn.

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G.S.

answers from New York on

I just wanted to let you know that I too, the mother of two girls did find that sometimes it was just easier to put my youngest in her swing & turn on Spongebob! Most kids know the names of all of the characters of Sesame Street by the time they are what, like 2. Well, Haley couldn't name 3 of them to save her life. But she could probably tell u all about Squidward & Sandy. I personally think that sometimes people focus way too much on all that we do wrong as a mother. My oldest was pretty much the model child - I did all that I was told to w/her, read to her all of the time, interacted w/children all of the time. My youngest on the other had was a little over 3 when she went to pre-school & is way more outgoing then my older who was stimulated by every single toy/book/video/you name it out there. Do what you feel is right. Besides I don't know of anyone who has been convicted of anything blaming it on Spongebob yet! Good luck!

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I don't think you have to worry about having her "safely occupied" for 10 minutes. Is she already crawling or something? I agree with the swing by a window, mobile-type toys, music playing, whatever....it's been much more than the "few weeks" your in-laws watched her...so turn OFF the TV!
While I doubt 10 minutes per day is an issue, I also doubt the tv is only on for 10 minutes per day, if your household is like most American households!

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D.W.

answers from Gainesville on

I don't think any baby that young needs to be exposed to all those light images. Their little brains just aren't ready for . Too much coming at them all at once. Face time with you is much better.

If you need to make lunch or whatever move her baby camp to whatever room you are in. She can't crawl anywhere at this point. She probably can't roll over either. She will be fine on the floor for a few minutes provided you don't have any pets or other little ones in the house. If you have either of those then no, I wouldn't leave her. You can also get a sling like a mei tei or mayawrap and carry her with you or if you have to go in another room put her in the bouncy seat and carry her with you. I brought mine with me in the bouncy if I had to take a shower, make dinner, etc. That way I could see them, talk to them about what mom was doing etc.

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T.G.

answers from Lexington on

Just a little something to share to all you new moms. One thing I found to be very effective (especially if I was leaving the room for a min or 2, like to finish preparing her bottle) is to communicate w/ your child all the time from infancy. If I was leaving my child's sight I would look at her and say, "Mommy will be right back." As long as I did that she was content to stay and play without crying. In addition, if someone was going to watch and I had to leave for a while I would have dialogue w/ her indicating I was leaving and would be back shortly. I feel that consistent communication helped prevent separation anxiety. Children understand way more than most adults think they do. My D is almost 6. Thankfully we've never had any separation anxiety episodes.

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J.C.

answers from San Francisco on

TV is bad for children, especially those under 2 years of age!

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I.T.

answers from San Francisco on

I know you already have a lot of advice against TV but I'm going the other way. I don't believe 10 mins or so will hurt the baby. My daughter has the TV on all day at her grandparents' home but that doesn't mean she watches it all the time. She loves music so when she hears music, she'll run to the TV and dance and sing along. At home, we hardly have the TV on and she's fine with that. She can't turn on the TV without asking us first. She doesn't care if the TV is off or on. It's just a form of entertainment for her. We only put it on kids program (aka "educational" shows)

Having said that, I should tell you she's only 19 months and she's extremely sharp. She was reciting all her ABC's before she was 15 months old and can count to 1-10 by 12 months. Now she probably says over 30-40 words and can use them in the right context. She can sing the lyics to over 10 songs (not every word but she knows most of it). We were worried too when I had to go back to work when she turned 3 mths since all my husband's mom and my parents did was have the TV on but she's doing great. Ofcourse my husband and I interact with her when we get home. I sang to her since birth and my husband is always teaching her new words every day.

I hope that eases your mind about the TV. I really believe it's also parenting part that will help your child grow and develop mentally. Good luck!!

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L.M.

answers from Pittsfield on

I agree with the moms that say a few minutes of TV isn't going to hurt. The Baby Einstein DVDS are WONDERFUL. We all need a few minutes to ourselves and stay home moms RARELY get it. A few minutes of TV doesn't mean we are not being good moms. You can't be a good mom if you don't take care of yourself too. That said, I also used to bring my infants into the bathroom or kitchen with me and put them in the bouncy seat while I did what I had to do. I have not read the studies some of the mom's refer to about ADD, but I highly doubt they were about kids that watched one or two selective, educational programs a day.

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W.K.

answers from Portland on

Too much TV watching can be hazardous to their health but it depends on how you use it. What often happens is that people will put their kids in front of the TV and then forget to do things with them. Like take them to the park, go for a bike ride, go swimming, etc. Than they feed them lots of junk food to keep them quiet while they watch TV. Its when its the ONLY thing that they get that its bad. I had a child psychologist connected with my kids headstart program once tell me the best way to know if a kid is getting too much tv is to see how they respond to new stimuli. i.e. gifts, new toys, changing to a new activity. If they show interest in the new activity or toy, than your doing fine. If they are indifferent to anything else, than you have to worry. If you had your baby in front of the TV for six hours a day, than you'd need to worry. But a ten minute lightshow isn't going to ruin them. Remember, to a baby, what they see is sound and a light show. Your not ruining them. My now 5 year old likes musicals. He sings and dances to them. Its really cute. His favorite movie at age 1 was the Sound of Music. He would laugh and smile at the songs. Your doing just fine.

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H.L.

answers from San Francisco on

If this is something you don't want to keep up/encourage:

- she's not yet mobile, so being by herself on the floor shouldn't be dangerous if it's just for a few minutes
- i second the carrier idea. i used to put my baby in it all the time when i needed to get stuff done around the house
- you can try a different mobile?
- maybe the swing with a different toy hanging from it? maybe something with lights?

She might protest the lack of TV, but you're the mom, you make the rules. And she'll soon forget.

You haven't screwed her up, so give yourself a break! :-)

Good luck!

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C.F.

answers from Atlanta on

As a mother and a grandmother it's not a big deal to let them watch a few minutes a day. I think its a whole lot better than putting them on a nasty bathroom floor as one mom suggested. The Einstein videos are great as well as my baby can read videos. I do agree with a few minutes to get something quick done but don't let your tv be your babysitter.

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J.L.

answers from Sacramento on

My nephews were always entertained when they were placed in front of a large aquarium. If you have one, you might try that.

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J.P.

answers from Boise on

If this is a habit that you don't want to extend, I say break it now. I talked with a pediatric PT, and was told that they get mesmerized by the lights, they aren't actually watching the TV. She suggested that they shouldn't watch TV till after 2 (I know lots of people use it - not judging, just passing on the PT's suggestion.) Can you move her to where you are? Maybe eat your lunch when she is napping, or sit and eat near her while she swings? What if you never turn the TV on while she is awake, then you don't have to worry about her reaction when you turn it off?

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V.R.

answers from Sacramento on

Instead of looking at it from a "past" perspective - have I screwed her up - look at it from a current & future perspective; meaning, what habits do you think are healthy to instill RIGHT NOW, regardless of what she's been "trained" to do. It is unfortunate that her caregivers felt the need to use the TV as a babysitter - everyone who has a TV in the home does it - EVERYONE. But certainly not just to keep the child occupied at any given time.

This is one of those moments that you have to remember that YOU are the parent, regardless of how your child is reacting to what you desire for her. You'll learn as time goes on that you're "allowed" to make her uncomfortable if you know it's better for her. Things like going to bed at a decent hour, staying in her crib until a certain time in the morning, only eating what she's being served so you don't become a full-service cook anytime she doesn't like something. It's the same thought process. She'll get upset for awhile, but if you continually give in to her protests, then she "wins" & you will definitely know all too soon who is running the home.

If you believe TV is unhealthy for her at this age (which it sounds like you do), then stand by your beliefs. Will that mean some fussing / crying / protesting? You betcha. Does that mean you're "hurting" your child by allowing her to protest? I don't believe so. Will she eventually figure out the new house rules? Yep. That's how you learn about your child. You'll learn if she accepts things easily or if she's a tough nut to crack by standing her own ground.

Decide now your position on TV in the home with your youngster & stick to it as much as possible. That includes informing any future caregivers of what you desire for her. They will hopefully respect that rule, regardless of how uncomfortable they are with having to actually play with her or read to her or take her for a walk or...you get the idea. They'll have to get a little creative!

She'll be mobile in no time. Allowing her a few minutes at a time to fuss because she doesn't like the toys in front of her will do no harm to her. I believe training her to be a passive participant in life by sitting her in front of a TV screen will do MUCH more harm than a few fussy tears over a "boring" toy. Get creative - find something that amuses her. But don't sweat it. This phase will soon be long gone & then you'll have a whole new world of issues to grapple with!! You're doing a good job just by being concerned about this issue.

Good luck!
V.

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S.S.

answers from Miami on

DO NOT let your baby/toddler watch ANY TV! Children of that age cannot do visual and auditory at the same time and what ends up happening is vision wins out and auditory shuts off. Classrooms are auditory and therefore the child will have learning/behavior issues when they get to school. Attention, focus, motor skills will all be lacking. I believe they call that ADHD. Get your baby on the floor on the tummy with toys 4 times a day for 30 minutes each time. This is the only way to gain core strength that the human needs to do every higher task there is. This also gets baby to crawl and integrate primary reflexes so they won't be retained. Get rid of swings, Bumbos, walkers and all that stuff that sits the baby up unnaturally before they are ready. Tummy, tummy, tummy!!!

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R.H.

answers from Norfolk on

Though i agree a few min a day of tv isn't bad if you are afraid your 3mo. old is obsessed with the tv you can tell by that simple question your child isn't watching 10min. a day. She's plopping her there most of the day. My son now 8mo. watches it in passing, He has never been put there as entertainment for any amount of time. Babies have never seen the world at all it's all entertainment. Laying them on a blanket with toys is enough. When I'm in the bathroom i laid him on the floor with toys. Now i bring him in and set him on the floor.You can always bring them where you are and lay them down and they will watch you. It's enough because they have never seen anything so it lasts for months. Being obsessed is not the word i's attached... Your daughter is attached to the tv like a baby would be with a toy. You have caused an unhealthy attachment. Also i don't agree about baby Einstein movies. They are trash a easy place to put your child while they set in front of a movie that teaches nothing and looks good doing it.

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B.K.

answers from Missoula on

Maybe try getting a bouncer for her to lay in with a toy with lights and music that hang above it?

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B.R.

answers from Sacramento on

Wow! You have all sorts of different opinions here, and I'm just going to add mine. I agree that TV isn't the best way to entertain a 3 month old. However a few minutes now and again isn't going to permanently mess her up. Do you have the TV on regularly during the day? If not, I wouldn't turn it on just for her entertainment. But if it's already on, I don't see a big problem with putting her where she will be interested long enough for you to do a ten minute task... but you need to be close enough to monitor her in any case.
I also agree with those who have suggested alternatives that will have her near you so you can be her entertainment. Any safe seat that you can put her in near where you are working will give you an opportunity to talk, sing or whatever and will help her not only stay quiet so you can do your tasks, but will be a good learning opportunity for her too. And a little bit of crying or fussing won't hurt her either. Babies at this age tend to want total attention so you may find you have to listen to her fuss for five minutes or so at a time. If she's doing that just keep on reassuring her that you are going to be with her soon.
One other option may be to schedule your tasks for when she is napping. If she is like most babies this age, after being fed and changed, she should at some point in the morning and again in the afternoon, be taking at least an hour nap. Those can be times you set aside for yourself to do necessary tasks... or if you have the tasks done, get a bit of rest for yourself. As far as the 'urgent' phone calls are concerned, if they are truly urgent, they probably don't last all that long. I would simply tell the other party on other calls that I'll call back at a better time. Sometimes I set my phone to speaker so I can talk and hold a baby too. There are any number of solutions to your problem. You just need to think about what will work best for you.

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A.V.

answers from Houston on

Hello,

No, you have not screwed up your child. Just change what it is she watches. There are lreat learning channels that can be amusing and learning to her. Buy some great baby videos and let her swing at watch. Just monitor how much time she is in front of the TV and take her walking to alleviate some of her TV time.

You are a busy mom and I'm sure you are doing a wonderful job. Utilize the wonderful kids shows such as PBS and several of the shows that speak Spanish. This way with her interest in TV, and watching the correct television shows, she can obtain knowledge and when she is able, may even surprise you what she knows.

Anita

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B.

answers from Augusta on

I say it's ok. You can't screw up a 3 month old. Unless you completely ignore her and let her scream for hrs. But I digress. It's not as if she's 4 and all she does is sit and watch TV all day. Both of my kids "watched"( if you can call it that) TV when they were infants they are both brilliant and in the gifted range. They both play outside A LOT. The only way I could get my high needs oldest to stop fussing and relax long enough to sleep is laying on the couch with her on my chest and "101 Dalmatians " DVD playing on the TV , she liked the black and white and the movement , which is all good for their development as infants. Not that I think that it has anything to do with the fact that she's in second grade , has a 5th grade reading level and taught herself cursive and multiplication. BUT it obviously didn't hurt her any.

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B.R.

answers from Austin on

Yes, you are fine! I used to do this all the time w/both my children. They are amazed by the colors and the different shapes and movement. You have to view it as something other than what society places on TV viewing. Before long that won't even entertain your baby anymore. It's okay to do whatever works for you. As I said I use to place my children in front of the TV and today, I'm proud to say my son is now in college and my daughter is in high school and both are very successful. Good luck!

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L.1.

answers from Fort Walton Beach on

I know you have a lot of posts but this made me laugh. It reminded me of when my son was 3mos as well, he loved baby einstein. It is just so facinating, and they can't wrap their head around it. 10-30mis a day is not bad, I don't care what anyone thinks. When we skype w/ Dad he tries to look behind the computer screen for him, I can only imagine what is going through his head during Diego on the wide screen lol. He is one now and he does not get mad when the tv is not on, or if it goes off during a show.

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A.A.

answers from San Francisco on

If you need a break for 10 or so minutes/day, GO FOR IT!!! It sounds like you are trying all other methods and if it is only for a few minutes, it's not going to hurt her...

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C.T.

answers from Denver on

no - you havent screwed anything up. You have some time before you do that. just kidding!

She really isnt interested in tv like older kids are. She is at the age where they like contrasts and moving things. She is probably more interested in images and music than anything else. Try the baby mozart videos if you need a little break to make a phone call, etc. The music and toys keeps them interested and they are only 20-25 minutes long.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

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K.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

Babies like lights, movement and sound... 10 mins a day is no biggy, even 30 mins. We had baby enstine videos that my daughter loved and she would "watch" it while I did chores/meals/and such when she was awake. As you said it is not for a long time, everything added up to maybe 30-40 mins a day. My daughter is now 3 years old and the TV is a no biggy for her, because we put a time of an hour or less a day on it. Even if she asks to watch a show she usually ends up playing 15 mins into TV time.

If you want other options, and if you have not already done this or can; baby toys that light up/plays music when grabbed/moved so you can put her in a pack-n-play type place and play with the toys that will keep her attention. We had a bouncer that I could set by me while making lunch or eating, she liked the movement and I would have music on that I would sing along with (child apporiate music of course).

Honestly as your child grows up, just set the rules and stick with it; they will know when you say 30mins or 1 hr of TV a day that is it, they will not care as much... at 1 year I start that and have had no issues.

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B.S.

answers from Chicago on

Ok, so I am going to be one of the few who say it's ok to put them infront of the t.v. My 3 are all older (19,25,27) so it's been quite a few years, but Barney, Sesame Street were good for them. Taught them colors, kept them busy. Gave Mom 5 minutes of peace to do whatever. When they get older, they're gonna be going off with kids to play. No harm, no foul. T.V. isn't a bad influence, it's the shows you pick anyway. Not like you are going to put them infront watching inappropriate shows with nudity, blood, scary people?

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M.O.

answers from Chicago on

If you listened to Mozart during your pregnancy, that might be the comforting sound she w/be looking for. Her brain is still in early development. Be glad that you had the support you needed while you recuperated. Remember that Chinese women have given birth in the rice fields, tucked the baby tightly against their bodies, and went back to work! The advantage that your child has is that there is so much stimulation available to her which will make her very intelligent. Yes, you will control the type of stimulation but there will be times when you cannot and will have to deal with that. That's when parenting skills come to play.

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K.P.

answers from Lansing on

10 minutes of 24 hours sounds ok, but the real concern here is why you are nervous about leaving her alone on the floor briefly while you must leave the room. Babies pick up on moods quickly and become as anxious or depressed as the adults around them, especially mom. Also, some crankiness and crying is a natural condition that babies and children must learn how to cope with......age appropriate events and time allowed must be of concern.

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J.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

TV, in moderation, isn't going to ruin your child. Looking at some of the grammar and spelling on these threads, it might actually do some of these kids good to hear correct grammar usage! They'd also be able to see the correct spelling of words on Sesame Street. I'm just saying that it might be helpful in some households. (It drives me NUTS to read people using "your" when the correct word is "you're." How in the world is having a role model like that better than watching a show on TV that will teach the child the CORRECT words??????)

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T.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Yes, yes and yes, I started my lil boy w/ elmo and progressed to other shows, but I now unplug the tv and tell him we have to fix the tv and I try to engage w/ him in "his" toys and go outside and take a walk, say your toys are sad they never get to be played w/ and they he gets distracted w/ them, or he rides his bike outside while I garden, and we talk, its much better.

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A.M.

answers from Chicago on

My first son constantly needed some kind of stimulation and often I resorted to Baby Einstein DVDs for pretty much the same reasons you mentioned (going to the bathroom, getting something done around the house). He would get fussy and cranky very easily and quickly. Now that I have 3 more boys, I've found that their crankiness and fussiness bothers me less and unless they are in distress or truly need something (hungry, poopy diaper, sleepy) I let them be cranky/fussy. I guess you can say that I've grown tough skin and ear plugs. It's impossible to keep them entertained every minutes - you'd never get anything done. It sounds like this may be your first baby. If so, then take my advice that you shouldn't let their fussiness/crankiness bother you so much. I've learned to block it out. I'm NOT saying not to attend to their needs but you'll gain more confidence as you get more experience and won't let your baby's fussiness/crying get to you. Good luck.

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P.A.

answers from Kansas City on

I totally understand your rationale but what I know now is that there is also nothing wrong with letting your baby be cranky. As long as she is dry, fed, not in any pain and she is safe- let her be fussy and go to the bathroom. Children need to know that frustration is ok and that not being stimulated 24/7 is also ok. Not being amused isn't an illness. It's not an emergency, you need to remember that she doesn't NEED anything. If her mobile doesn't amuse her anymore maybe the movement of her own hand will or maybe she'll discover her feet...it forces her to be creative and amuse herself. That's what you want ultimately and will set the stage for other blessings like- a child that can amuse herself and play alone while you cook, babble and play endlessly in their cribs giving you an extra 30 minutes to an hour of sleep like my kids do. It means possibly having a more tolerant child during long car rides. Allowing a child to have an imagination is a great gift for them and for you it because it fosters confidence and independence in a child. Now I'm not saying 100% no tv or else your child is doomed, but what I am saying is that letting her deal with her own emotions more (self soothe) and allowing her to learn to enjoy her own company is something that will pay HUGE dividends later (everything from bedtime to toddler tantrums).

If you need her in your sight- put her in her bouncer and bring her into the kitchen while you cook or into the bathroom while you shower and talk/sing to her. Put her in a sling or carrier and do your chores...think outside of the box and if you just can't stand it anymore ask for help. Good luck!!!

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G.W.

answers from Chicago on

No, she is not a screwed baby! My son is sixteen years old now and my Mother was his primary caretaker and of course, watched alot of television. I experienced the same issues with my son. He has always been the type of baby that didn't require alot of sleep and therefore, would be up at all hours of the night. Doing what? Watching television. That is the only thing that would keep him quiet and in order for him to not bother us so that we could go to work the next day. At 6 mos old he even had the nerve to have his favorite television shows and if you switched the channel he would wail for hours! His Dad and I took him to a few doctors to get their take on whether or not he was addicted to television and the baby psychiatrist told us that he was not a TV addict he was very advanced and alert for his age. This doctor also told us that since he was advanced that we could expect for him to read at an early age. Of course, we didn't believe a word he said until my son was 18 mos old and began reading the Best Buy newspaper circular one Sunday morning. To date, he has been an excellent student all of his life and graduated salutatorian from 8th grade. Now he's a junior in high school and of course, honor roll student and ranks #27 out of 167 students. Now how is that for a TV addicted baby. So, go forth and expect great things from your baby girl! And, please don't worry about her watching a little too much television - it'll wear off!

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C.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Is all this really about a 3 MONTH old? I can't quite get my head around a 3 month old being addicted to anything.

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M.K.

answers from Dallas on

I see nothing wrong with letting the baby look at Tv. as long as she is not to close. It may be to bright for her eyes.
The movement is keeping her intrest.for you to do what ever you need to do.
MK

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C.S.

answers from San Juan on

The 3 years old I baby sit is so very obsessed with the TV too. She finds it too fascinating. She never gets bored with Sesame Street. Just watches over and over again. She loves Teletabies and Moomins too. She watches again and again that I started enjoying to watch Moomins too and find myself not noticeable, and singing Moomins opening themes song "Pa pa pa pa pa papa...". It's really brainwashing. And like one of the moms commented below, it is always good to tell her when you have to leave for few mins.. i.e, mommy is going to be away for few minutes and I will be back shortly, and kiss. I always do that to the lil girl i baby sit when i have to leave her alone in her crib for her bottles or something. Told her that I love her and would be back shortly. She would wait patiently without crying. And I find it really interesting that if she doesn't cry even a bit before sleeping, she gets sounds sleep without waking up most of the time.

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L.C.

answers from Madison on

I think the most important thing is not that they NEVER watch "TV" but WHAT they watch! We have a very nice little DVD called "baby praise" that has cute images constantly changing with animals and other babies, with some songs in the background - it is geared towards babies. While it is good to not let them watch TV, if one must it should be something good and worthwhile! From what I've read they learn a lot about appropriate interactions between people, tones of voice, etc... from anything they see from you, other people they are around, and TV also. So if they are watching TV that has people yelling or talking inappropriately at all that can be negative. I also like Veggie Tales a lot for infants and little kids. I try not to let my 10 month old watch too much but my 2.5 year old watches a veggie tales, thomas the train, or something like that every morning so my 10 mo old loves it too.

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M.F.

answers from Chicago on

Autumn wrote: "I have found studies showing that there are links to TV watching and later ADD/ADHD."
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I wonder if they really know which is the cause and which is the effect. Perhaps there is something about ADHD that causes the baby to fixate on the TV, rather than the other way around. Some babies show a lot of interest in TV, and others very little. I had one of each, and the baby who didn't care about TV has always had a better attention span. (They are 12 and 15 now and neither was ever allowed to watch much TV.)

D.B.

answers from Wichita on

I don't think there is anything wrong with it at this point because she's just responding to the visual stimulation of the colors and movement/sound on the TV. I have a 4 month old and we let her watch the Baby Einstein dvd's. They are awesome and she loves them! They are created to specifically wake up parts of the baby's mind and stimulate their senses. You should check them out.

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