My 4 Month Old Will Not Take a Pacifier

If she doesnt want it dont force it on her. As my father told me have you ever seen a 16 year old sucking on her fingers. She will grow out of it if you just let it go.

My last Daughter sucked her 2 middle fingers until she was 11 or 12. I tried hot sauce pepper juice nothing worked. The Doctor said she would out grow it and she did. Just let her suck them. Sucking her finger is better than seeinga 2-5 year old with a pacifire in their mouth. Now of my kids ever had a plug after they were 3 months old.

Put socks or mittens on her hands to prevent the sucking. Then, either substitute it with a pacifier of her choice or nothing at all.

Neither of my kids took a pacifier (13 and 15)-one sucked her thumb, the other didn't do either. I didn't stress over it--the doctor suggested installing a 'cage' in her mouth to make it more uncomfortable for her to suck her thumb (I told him to take a hike). I figured if it gave her that inate comfort and she wasn't sucking her thumb forever, I wasn't overly concerned. She grew out of it and all is well as a teenager

That is her comforter. I would not take that away from her. I never wanted any of my kids to suck on their thumbs. I did as a kid and remember having to wear bandaids on my thumbs to stop me form sucking on it.

My first child loved his binki (pacifier) and that was a pain to get him to stop. He didn't finally stop until after age 3 when the dog chewed on his final binki in the home.

Children 2, 3, and 4....wouldn't take a binki to save their lives.....and I desperately wanted them to so that they would have that comfort thing.

Children 5 and 6, suck their thumb. Weird how that works (my 6th child would be sucking her thumb everytime they did a sonogram in the womb). They wouldn't take a binki either. But sucking their thumb is a comfort thing, something they can take with them where ever they are! And that is actually a blessing,even though it may turn into a pain later!

Coming from a woman who has thumb sucking kids...and was a thumb sucker herself....it's a comfort mechanism. Something that calms them when they are tired, cranky, or nervous and it is a blessing that they can do that instead of screaming their heads off to express those feelings.

You'll know when the time is right to help stop this habit, and she may even stop it herself. No worries, things will be fine.

At four months it's only natural that your baby has strategies to comfort herself. I don't think there is a way to break this habit at this time, nor would it be fair.
She likely sucks her fingers in her sleep as well, a typical self-comfort reflex.
It would be quite the mixed message to say "don't suck those, suck this (a pacifier)"... and at 4 months she's not differentiating between items. It's just what feels good, and that sometimes is your arm!
You need not worry about this habit. Be glad your baby won't take a pacifier and be VERY glad that she's learned a comfort measure.
*There is some real psycho advice on here! Tape? Swatting! Crazy!!

My son sucks his thumb, and I was really happy when he started. A lot of the books I read talk about babies needing to suck to sooth themselves, and how there are many pros and cons to both pacifiers and thumb sucking, but one pro to thumb sucking is that your baby is learning how to sooth herself. That's one skill that she'll be able to use for her whole life. With a pacifier she needs your help to sooth herself. It's also handy at night, because I don't have to wake up to put the pacifier back in - he just reinserts his thumb!

I don't know if that will change your mind about finger sucking, but it's a more positive perspective on it...

I personally hate pacies-and your LO seems the same. As long as she is comforted, I would let her be. When she gets older if she still does this, you can do a reward system to break the habit. You might also ask your pedi what s/he thinks.

Best wishes~

Ay 4 months old, you really can't stop her from sucking her fingers. They don't understand "no" or discipline and will do whatever it is that soothes them. That is a natural part of child develpoment and a part of the way infants experience their world. If she is still doing it at 2 years old, then I would think about breaking her from it.

We have sonograms of my eldest child sucking on two of her fingers.She still sucking. The pediatrician says its cheaper than psychiatric trreatments later in life. The dentist says orthadonture is cheaper than psychiatry. They do it because it soothes them. Very rarely do you find an adult still sucking on their fingers. They will stop on their own. You might try "breaking " the suction immediatley upon her "latching" on to you. Do you nurse her? try switching her if you are to your breast. As a teacher at a small school, I have seen parents go the pepper juice route, dental barriers, scolding, anger...int the end the child stops on their own.

Hi M.,

If it makes you feel any better, I have only one child, an almost 3 year old (in May) little girl, and I tell you, she NEVER would take a pacifier, wouldn't drink from a bottle, and never used a teething ring. It's funny because I desperately wanted SOMETHING other than my breast (!!) to comfort her, but no dice. She refused anything synthetic. I was never able to leave her long enough to skip a feeding, always had to be around for every single need wether it be comfort or food for the sucking reflex! I promised myself that baby #2 will take a bottle at an early age with breast milk so that dad can feed him/her and/or a pacifier for pacifying...etc. It's a tough one, but children truly have a mind of their own. While she was teething she loved to bite down on our fingers, or her own fingers, and to date she has no problems with fingers in the mouth or anything like that. So, not that I have any solutions for you, but I just wanted you to know that it is not uncommon for little ones to refuse the "plastic" My daughter went from breast feeding to a sippy cup. And still doesn't really have a "lovey" besides her teddy and silky- though she doesn't NEED them for any reason, we just try to use them as comfort tools. We gave her biscuits for teething and just went with the flow! I know it can be frustrating but think of it this way- you won't have to be the parent desperately trying to wean your 3 year old off of his/her pacifier!!!

I hope this helps in some way.

Take care,

S.

M.,
I empathize with your situation. I don't know any solutions except asking your doctor. I am writing to tell you that my son was the same way - even had his "sucking" thumb injured at 8 months and pulled off bandages to suck his thumb! He is now almost 17 years old, still sucks his thumb at night AND has had to get braces. His thumb sucking deformed his upper palette, and changed the shape of his mouth so much he had an overbite. He is the only person in our family that has had braces. I am not trying to scare you - my case could be unusual. However, I agree with you - you don't want a child that sucks their fingers. Good Luck!

When they are finger or thunb suckers there is not much you can do to change that. She is so young. I wouldn't worry about her sucking her fingers. If that pacifies her let her do it.

I am a mom of two boys, 9 & 12. My oldest took a pacifier until he was about 3-4 months old. Then he found his thumb. He sucked his thumb until he was about 4 years old. My youngest was the same way. After about 3-4 months of pacifier, he preferred his thumb. He stopped sucking his thumb earlier than his older brother, probably around 3 years old. Neither one ever would chew on a teething ring either. My husband & I were really never concerned about the thumb sucking. The thumbs were always there, they never got lost. We also did not make a big to do about them sucking their thumbs. We would rather prefer them suck their thumbs than have to keep up with a pacifier. They both weaned themselves when they were ready. Also contrary to popular belief, thumb or finger sucking does not interfere with or hinder proper tooth growth. I don't know how much this will help but be patient, she will eventually grow out of it. I would however, discourage her sucking on your arm.

For now, you may have to just keep moving her hand. I'm happy she won't take a pacifier. I never liked them... thankfully my son only did it for a couple months... then spit it out one day and never looked back. lol
When she gets older, there are devices you can get for her hands... my neices had one for thumbsucking.
GOOD LUCK!

I agree,if she doesnt want it,then forget it:)
None of my kids wanted it,when it was introduced to them,but I figured,it was one less thing to ween/break them of:)...I think most babies suck on their fists/hands,fingers.I dont think its a sign theyll do this into their toddler age?

Best of luck:)

well the main reason for sucking is comfort, and her fingers are probley just the right size and they are always there when she needs them. i wouldnt be super concerned she may grow right out of it all of mine did and unfournatly they all take a pacifer except my two year old. but every once in awhile i will catch them with their fingers in their mouths and it drives me crazy when people pull them out. but if you really want her to be a pacifer baby have you tried different brands of pacifers? the one my 7 month old is on is the playtex i think natural binky and it is shaped round well it looks almost like a nipple and its nice and soft. she can actually keep it in her mouth better! but in the end you might just have to come to terms with the fact that she is going to suck on her fingers no matter what you do.

I am one who was a thumb sucker til I was tweleve. However, because of my mother's discipline and rules no on knew I did it and I was thankful. Unfotunately if she isn't going to take a plug (sorry that is what we call pacifiers in our home)she just isn't. My mother said that there was nothing she could do to get me to take a plug and she really tried too. However, I just learned quickly (and early) that if I wanted to suck my thumb I had to be in my bed. Laying on the floor couch or any other creative place that I could think up wouldn't work with her, and my sisters were more than willing to help but so did everyone around me including people at church. Needless to say it wasn't a lot of fun in bed by myself (especially with two older sisters out playing) that I learned real fast to not suck my thumb. Yes it may require future visits to the dentists, but one thing that I suggest is not to scare them out of it. It is just going to be a bigger fight. You figure that is all they had in the womb and they don't know any better. Whatever you choose to do, whether it is pacifier or thumb, make sure that your entire support system (anyone who spends a good amount of time with your child i.e. family and close friends) are all on the same page and will reinforce what you want to happen. You and dad are the only ones to have the final say and don't let anyone tell you different. It doesn't make you or your child a terrible person if they suck fingers or thumbs.

My daughter would never take a pacifier either and instead loved those yummy fingers. I did buy one of the silicone pacifiers (I forget what brand) but the whole thing was silicone and I would just hand that to her to suck on. She never used it as a pacifier it was more of a toy to suck on if she wasn't using her hands. By the time she was 1, she wasn't sucking on her hands or the pacifier.

If you really want to get her to use a pacifier try changing brands or types. I was told that the latex ones have a "taste" and that silicone don't have any taste. Buy a few different ones and see if there's one over another that she likes.

Here are a couple of things to think about, one about child development and the other about child training. First, while it is probably true that all 3-yr-old finger-suckers were 4-month-old finger-suckers, the vast majority of 4-month-old finger-suckers will not be 3-yr-old finger-suckers even if no one does anything about it. The urge to suck will decrease around 6-9 months of age, and the rest of the world will be opening up with all sorts of other things to do with the hands. Second, every little thing that you do or don't do with baby is training her. That means that she is internalizing your frustration with the behavior while you are with her, but being comforted by the behavior at other times. You can't have success with a "training" project like this unless you can either watch for the behavior 24-7 or unless the child is old enough to reason with, be expected to obey, and want to please mom. I thought the suggestion from the physical therapist (pressing gently on the roof of her mouth with your finger, then quickly inserting a firm pacifier)was well worth a try, but if it doesn't work you will have much better success with trying again (at stopping the finger-sucking) at around 9 months, if she hasn't stopped on her own yet. Even so, don't make it into a battle of the wills, because you can't win! Just patiently smile, pull-and-redirect, smile, pull-and-redirect. If it doesn't work then, you will have to wait until she is old enough to understand "finger-sucking only on the bed."

I agree that the sucking is natural at this age and can't be trained. I would not give her mitts though for fear they would be a choking hazard. Some kiddos don't take pacis -- mine never did -- and prefer other things. What are you going to do though? I also don't think this necessarily means she'll always do it like your nephew. Would it seem better if he still had a paci?

I would continue to try introducing the pacifier. She may be determined to suck her fingers. I believe it is a developmental thing at her age. If you stick it out with the pacifier she may eventually start to enjoy it.

My little girl did the same thing, she is almost 2 now. She would not take a pacifier. So we decided to let her just keep sucking on her fingers which is totaly normal anyway. Later on we just helped her to break the habit of sucking on her fingers by pulling them out of her mouth whenever we saw her sucking on them. At 4 months its preaty normal to suck on fingers. We just figured well, she is going to be hooked on sucking on something so we would rather have it be her own fingers than a pacifier. This habit can be broken later thru training.

I think it's great that your 4 month old will not take a pacifier. My child would never take one either. My in-laws kept trying to stick one in her little mouth and she just would not have it. It actually disturbs me to see so many people depending on one. She never sucked her fingers-so maybe your child won't either. Maybe a wet washcloth? Just soothe your baby with a little extra attention and she will be fine I promise.

A little about me:
I am 39 years old with a fantastic, well-adjusted, sporty 16 year old daughter...oh, she's beautiful as well!

both my girls suck their thumbs. it's not that big a deal. the trick is breaking them of it before they are too old and there are a million tricks. i'd say let her! my son broke himself at about a year old

I had this HUGE problem with my son. What worked for us is Johnson-Johnson waterproof tape. We would appy it at least 2 times each day...whatever it took to keep it fairly clean. If he took the tape off, he would get a swat...he opted not to do this. After 2 or 3 months of doing this, he was free and clear of this habit. I know your question was about your daughter, but I wanted to share my experience with my son for your son. ~K.

My daughter sucked on her hand and fingers when she started teething. It just felt good. It didn't last long at all maybe 3 months. I wouldn't be concerned if she is not just "sucking her thumb". It took some time but I very routinely gave her a blanket while she went to sleep. It gave her something else to feel (besides my breast). She was fixated on skin contact. Just don't get too stressed out about it. She is only 4 months old and can stressed out too.

At 4 months your baby cannot be "trained". Sucking is a natural soothing behavior for infants. Perhaps she is stressed, tired, bored, or hungry. If you don't want her to suck on her fingers, get the little cloth mitts that go on baby hands to keep them from scratching themselves. Ask her doctor why she has such a strong sucking need, she may have a vitamin deficiency - are you breast-feeding or bottle-feeding?

My 10 month old son would not take the pacifier used in most hospitals or the Nuk but he loves the Mam brand. Try one that is made with the same material that her bottle nipple is made of in my case silicone. Good luck.

Just in my opinion, let her suck her fingers-she will stop when her friends make fun of her. My kids are so attached to their pacis they can't sleep without them and taking them away is extremely hard and it becomes socially "unacceptable" and embarrassing.

My daughter sucked her fingers ALL the time at four months too and stopped after a month or two. She never took a pacifier either. Don't worry about it unless you see no change a few months down the road. She will most likely grow out of it.

If you don't like a behavior, stop the behavior (take the fingers out of the mouth every time), then redirect (to a book, bubbles,a ball, a happy face, noises, whatever works).

Children don't need a pacifier...Constant sucking is not normal.

Finger sucking leads to buck teeth!

I didn't think my baby (who is now 4 1/2 months old) would take a pacifier either although she needed one unlike my first daughter who was content all day and night. So I tried different ones and discovered she needs a certain pacifier and will reject any other shape. So if you haven't tried a lot of different ones, do that and see if it helps. Good luck...I know what ya mean about your nephew. My brother sucked his thumb in his sleep til he was 13...and had an awful looking callous.

J. Baird
Work At Home Mom to 4

I wouldn't make her take the pacifier if she doesn't want it. You can repeat with taking her hands out of her mouth and as she grows older will stop doing it. My daughter was like 3 or 4 months old and started spitting out her pacifier and starting refusing it. Which was fine by me because she didn't have to be dependent on it to fall asleep or in between feedings. She would suck her fingers or toys. She is almost 2 years old now and I have no problem with her sucking her fingers anymore. Its like as she got older and more interested in other things she forgot about it. I am really glad I didn't have to mess with pacifiers. I was always worried I would never break her habit of sucking one, sometimes I see 2 or 3 year olds still with pacifiers and I think if they are old enough to have teeth and start babbling there is no need for them anymore.

Hi M.,

My 9 week old is the same way. He enjoys to just sit in his bouncy and suck on his fist. I am excited, though, because in the past few days he found his thumb. He never took to a pacifer, it would just make him more upset. I would encourage your daughter to find her thumb, so that she can self sooth, and calm herself down. He is actually sleeping better now, a lot longer streches through the night. Thanks,

A.

My best friend is a physical therapist who works with kids so this is her advice. Gently place your finger on the roof of the baby's mouth and let her such your finger for a minute or so. Then quickly insert the pacifier in place of your finger. You may have to do this a few times off and on for a few days but it has worked everytime so far. Also, make sure the niple is not soft since she prefers her fingers - try silicone.

Hope this helps! M.

I used to dip the pacifyer in something for them to suck it. Like apple juice or (dont tell anyone but) honey when they were past 6 months! Looking back, however, my son did end up with a sweet tooth!

My daughter would not take a pacifier either and sucked her thumb, plus had a favorite blankie until the summer before 1st grade. At first, I was ok with her thumb because it meant not having to have a pacifier handy. Then, I realized it's permanently attached and always available...forever. I was told kids will stop when they are ready and you can't really change it. They need that comfort. Not wanting to take the comfort away, I would mention it during the years in a nice, helpful way, "you're a big girl, etc"...(not demeaning, like my husband would). During her Kindergarten year, I asked her if other kids were making fun of her and that I would help her stop when she was ready. The summer before 1st grade, she came to me and said she she was ready to stop because she didn't want kids making fun of her. I told her to make a conscious effort during the day. Every time she went to put the thumb in her mouth, tell herself NO thumb. I noticed at night she couldn't do that, (it was automatic in her sleep), so I put a sock on her hand. Within 2 weeks she stopped day and night. Since your baby is so young and it is a comfort to them, you may want try the sock during the day when you can observe and at night when older (so he/she won't choke on the sock) to see the reaction. The four yr old may be ready for the sock at night and reasoning by day. If you can stop it at an earlier age, great. My daughter did need an expander for her mouth at 7 and now needs braces at 13. Best of luck.

My daughter sucked on her fingers, too. She weaned herself from it, on her own, at about 10-11 months.

Well, I have had the pacifier girl, finger girl, and now the neither boy. My passy girl is almost 3 and still takes it at night. It is more sanitary and you have some control over it. My 7 year old was a finger sucker. She was sick constantly for obvious reasons. We had an appliance put in her mouth at 4.5 yrs. It is a bit archaic but I HAD to have a well child as I was pregnant and sick of being sick and quite frankly she was too old to be reliant on oral fixation. It was not traumatic and she was old enough to understand. It was habit at that point and the appliance reminded her each time she did it. My boy is 16 months and want nothing to do with either of them. Go figure. I used a pediatric dentist to get the appliance when it was time. He would not put it in before 4 years of age, he thought she would quit. Anyway, that is my experience, I wish you well. --H. S

My daughter was the same way. I tried to get her to take the pacifier, but she would just spit it out and put her two fingers in her mouth. I was easier, because she could always put them in herself. The downside is that she's six now and still sucks her fingers. With the pacifier, I could have taken it away. She really only does it now when she's tired or just sitting there doing nothing but watching tv. She doesn't constantly have them in her mouth. If you can find a way to break the habbit now, do it!