My 5 Year Old Girl: ADHD? High Functioning on the Spectrum?

I am ADHD as is my ex. All four of our kids are ADHD and like my ex one is autistic. So what, just labels to understand the behavior. My older two were straight A students, best kids in the class, all from just a small does of stimulant medication. My third, with spectrum, sounds a lot worse than what you are describing and even he is doing great now. My fourth is just well, a lot like me.

My third had an awful preschool teacher. She was, well she wasn't very nice. She tried to diagnose all the kids as autistic. Kind of like all you have is a hammer every problem is a nail. He did turn out to be autistic but that lady, urgh! She kept saying it was clear because he touched every book, didn't make eye contact, basically symptoms that are also symptoms of ADHD, things I did. I guess what I am saying is find a good psychiatrist and listen to them. They are the only people I know who can weed through what is and what isn't.

I have an 8 year old son with Autism. The BEST thing you can do is find out what is causing her behaviors. Finding out what makes her tick will allow you AND her teachers to work with her better. When I'm not sure my son is actually hearing me (I know he technically hears me, because he does a lot of echoing) I have to cover his eyes. It kind of reboots his thought processes. I cover his eyes, then use my hands as "blinders" so he can only look at my face. When I do that, he is responsive.
When my son was in pre-k, he required a 1:1 aide most of the time, especially if it was time for an art project. He has very little interest in Art, and would simply get up and do something else.

When he was younger, I just wanted him to be Normal. To be with mainstream kids, not in the Special Ed room. I realized, though, that he needs to be where he can learn the best. If I force the school to put him in mainstream classes, it would only hurt his education, and that of the rest of the kids as well.
I've come to understand that my job isn't to get him to be like everyone else, but to find out WHO he is. What is he good at? What environment does he need to be in to thrive?
If your daughter is on the Spectrum, I recommend you find some books by Temple Grandin. TG is autistic and has a successful life. Her books are very enlightening.

The school district can do an assessment. My son was diagnosed by the district at 4, participated in the preschool program and got speech services, is in 2nd grade now, and just transitioned from an IEP to a 504 plan because his social language skills are on par. Our school district has worked really well with us. My son has trouble sitting still, so I requested a "wobbly" cushion (it's like a cushion with a medicine ball top) - it worked wonders because it gave him the sensory input he needs to be able to sit and concentrate.

Knowledge is power. Get an assessment so you have a place to start. Sometimes the "not listening" thing is a concentration thing, a language processing thing (has nothing to do with intelligence), a sensory thing (too much going on so the child can't actually really hear the directions). It can take some detective work, but it's do-able.

Please feel free to PM me or email me at ____@____.com. Autism covers a HUGE range, but gets a lot of negative press so a lot of parents are freaked out when the possibility occurs. Breath - you little girl is your little girl and no diagnosis will change who she is - it will just give you all, including her, the tools to deal with whatever challenges she may be experiencing.

Hugs!

Maybe she is HFA.... if so, will that mean you love her any less?

No, I know you won't... yes, you see symptoms and signs that tell you there might be something more than ADHD, and if so, that is fine....

We are struggling with my grandson... we all see the possible HFA/PDD-NOS aspects, and he also is SPD, and has fine motor issues... he was evaluated in K, but didn't quite qualify. Unfortunately, he also struggles academically, so we feel he will qualify at some point, if not for possible HFA, then with a learning disability. (He is currently also getting what is called "Tier II support in our Response to Intervention program... he gets some extra help, even though he isn't in the SPED or 504 program.)

With proper support, and OT, and PT, she will find her place in society.... I have a feeling there are a bunch of adults out there that could also be diagnosed as HFA, but have found their niche in the professional world.

Yes, at this point, I'm sure there are a lot of hormone issues, and the thought of being overwhelmed with a toddler and a baby on the way.

I work in a middle school and there are a BUNCH of HFA students in regular classes with inclusion support, or just the ones that need to come to a resource room for extra assistance, like reminders to stay on task, or a quiet place to work, or to have tests read to them.

Just stay on top of her possible challenges, keep working with the schools, and know that you will love her, no matter what!

Hugs to you... it will all work out. Hopefully you will get a good teacher for her that will find ways to work with her... my grandson has a fantastic teacher this year! (The one last year also figured out how to work with him..)

Also... if she is sensory seeking, what about a weighted lap pad/blanket for desk or circle time? That often helps with the sensory kiddos......

Hi Kate.

Reading your post was like reading about our situation. PLEASE contact me, if you want to chat further. We can even talk via phone. I'm happy to tell you how we are coping with a very similar situation.

I just wanted to tell you if it is ADHD, not to lose hope. We started seeing symptoms in our son at three, so we've been at this eight years now. I completely understand the feeling of knowing something more is going on than normal spirited behavior. In our case, our son's behavior was so bad he got kicked out of preschool, even while we were seeking medical help. It's been a long road.

Once our son started on medication at four, things improved greatly. He could focus, behave appropriately and he was happy, above all. He made friends and fit in. All while maintaining his same personality. Now, medication isn't a cure-all and when it's not a match, it can be horrible, but when you get it right, it gives your child a chance at a normal life. Be sure to keep up with therapy, because the combo of medication and therapy has the best results with ADHD, if you are, in fact, dealing with that.

Our son is 11 now and doing super in junior high. He's maintaining straight As and the teachers just see how smart he is, not his brain disorders (just a note here that don't be shocked if there are more than one; comorbids are extremely high with conditions like ADHD). Our son has a 504 plan with some accommodations and when we went to his latest meeting with his teachers, they just gushed about how great he's doing. ADHD doesn't have to mean disaster or a doomed future.

If it's ADHD, join CHADD and subscribe to ADDitude magazine to access reliable information about the condition. Most importantly, listen to the child psychiatrist. The best advice, by far, will come from the medical specialists.

I hope you have a plan in place for her. If her issues merit a team meeting then that team definitely needs to have the input of the school psychologist so they can work on her needs and meet them. We had the school psychologist, the special ed teacher even though he didn't fall into her realm she still had resources we couldn't imagine, the principle, the teachers and aids, and our psychologist and the case manager. We all meet at least once per year to draw up his 504 plan and we would meet throughout the year if the need to meet came up.