My 6 Month Old Doesn't Sleep much....we Need SLEEP!

All babies are different but we used SuperNanny's controlled CIO technique in her infant book. It really helped us teach our daughter how to go to sleep. She did continue to wake up during the night and didn't learn to sleep through the night until I stopped responding. It was definitely counterintuitive but when I waited 10 minutes before I went in, she would put herself to sleep and learn to sleep through the night. We also have crib toys with lights and music (lullabies) that she can turn on when she wakes up. Your baby is too young to turn the toys on and off but they might help when he's older. Good luck!

I think your baby doesn't know the concept of time. He continues to get up and you continue to feed him. This may take a good 2 weeks to break him out of this cycle but it can be done. You have to stick to the plan even if he is crying. It might be best for you to remove yourself from being able to hear him. I have 4 children of my own and they have all been great sleepers and this is what I do. I talk a lot to my children. I walk him into his room and tell him....this is your room, this is your bed, I hold him for a few minutes and let him look around. From the beginning, I've given him a blanket bear and I always put it by himself. I do the same rountine ever night. I say good night and I leave. In the beginning he would cry ALOT and I would go back in and NOT pick him up but reinforce that you are here and that it is time to go to bed and leave again. As I said before, it will take time...he has learned to behave like this. I have a 9 month old now and sometimes he crys or whimpers at going to be but he has learned that it is time. Nap time is the same thing. Put him down at the same time everyday. You may have to forgo going out and about for a while to get him on a schedule. You can do it!!!! Babies need routine. PERIOD!
Do you have help or family that can help you? Nothing more important than a mother with young children to get her sleep. It really helps to have a support system. I hope I've said something that might help but I believe that if you know your child is not hungry and has a clean diaper then the behavior is learned.
Good Luck and hang in there.

you don't have to live that way! both of you need some good sleep. One of the first things we have to teach our children as parents is how to self soothe. The reason he is waking up right away after he cries it out is he still hasn't learned how to self soothe. You have to commit to it for several days. it could take 3 to 5 days. But once you get it to work, oh my goodness your life will be so much easier!! I highly recommend the book baby wise. It gives detailed instructions on what to do at each stage of life. I know it can be hard to let your baby cry but it is so important for his and your health!

Start on a weekend or sometime that you can really devote to retraining him. apply the steps for all sleeping times. nap and bedtime. Do your bedtime routine but put him down to bed AWAKE. Let him cry for 20 minutes. LOOK at a clock!! 5 minutes can seem like an hour!! Take a shower, turn off the moniter. Do whatever you need to do to leave him alone for the whole 20 minutes. After 20 minutes go in and pat his back, tell him you love him, try to calm him down if you can. DO NOT pick him up, or feed him ect. Then leave for another 20 minutes. Repeat this process until he falls asleep. When he wakes up in the middle of the night. WAIT for 20 minutes before you go and and pat his back, but do not pick him up. Repeat every 20 minutes until he falls asleep again. If you stick with this strictly it will work. The reason most people say that CIO doesn't work is they only do it half way. You have to really commit to it for it to work. 3 to 5 nights of this and he should be sleeping through the night fine. He will probably still wake up in the middle of the night. But he will learn to put himself back to sleep. turn your moniter down or off so that you can only hear him if he is really crying. This can transform your life!! I hope you will seriously think about implementing this. You will be such a better mom with a good nights sleep. and he is not going to be healthy until he gets a good nights sleep too! good luck.

My son got up twice a night for 7 months. I thought he was hungry b/c he was a 10lb baby. (NOT)
My husband and I had a vacation planned and left kidz home with gma. That was the trick. She didn't hear him and he finally slept through the night.

My advice to you is, keep that baby up b4 bedtime. He may be so sleepy and try to sleep but put him in the bathtub and do whatever you can to keep him awake. My breast milk was not filling so I did cereal earlier to get some extra snooze. Also, drink a glass of wine, that might help numb you and him. Finally, go to a friends house or a hotel and get a full nights sleep. Your hubby can handle a night and he will probably sleep through the crying better than you would.
I let my son cry it out and he is now 16. He certainly doesn't remember it and now he sleeps in 12 hour increments. In perspective... crying won't hurt him. As long as he is healthly and not in pain....you can do it!

My son finally started sleeping through the night at 5 years old. Never figured out why he didn't sleep. Now he's 13 and wakes up at 4:00 am. Thank God he no longer bothers us when he gets up.

No advice, just love him and be understanding

My 8mo old is on the same schedule as your son....she does a 4hr stretch and then wakes every 2 hours for the remainder of the night. She is hungry when she wakes and wants to nurse. Some babies are just not good sleepers. We have trouble with nap time as well and in order to get her to sleep I hold her for some of her naps because I can pat her back and help her stay asleep while she transitions through the sleep stages. In order for her to get more sleep I started putting her to bed earlier. She goes to bed at 7 now. Keep a sleep log to figure out exactly how much sleep he is getting and then adjust his bedtime accordingly. A 4mo he should get 10 to 11 hours at night and 4 to 5 hours during the day. CIO should not be used before 6mo, your baby is still learning to trust you and rely on you and you should go to him everytime he cries. After 6mo they are better able to understand that they are not being abandoned and can "learn" the lesson you are trying to teach of self soothing back to sleep. After 6mo if you are still interested in sleep training then you can read "The Sleep Lady's, Good Night Sleep Tight" by Kim West. It is a modified version of CIO where you stay in the room with the child while they learn to put themselves to sleep. I don't wish sleep problems on anyone, it has been the most challenging thing I have ever been through. You have to learn how to cope and make sure you are getting enough sleep yourself so you can function as mom. Nap when he naps and go to bed early. I would not give him formula unless you want to stop nursing. It is too confusing for the baby to switch back and forth and you will also not have enough milk during his growth spurt if you supplement.
Good Luck

My two thoughts are he sounds over tired and you might want to consider letting him cry more. Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child is a book that educates on sleep and sleep cycles. It covers sleep stages in newborns, 3-6 months, 6-12 months, etc. (Not those exact ages, but you might get my meaning.) It will tell you to correct night sleep first, and then naps improve. It will tell you to keep your infant awake for no more than 2 hours at a time, and it will teach you that an early bedtime is best. It worked for me when my first-born was 6 months. He was a great sleeper after I learned about the sleep needs of infants, and before reading the book our sleep/nights were a disaster! Good luck with whatever you decide.

You're right, letting him cry isn't going to make him fall back to sleep on his own. When my son woke, I went to him every time. Nursed him at night and to sleep until he was 15 months old. When he was weaned he slept a little better but he woke up just as often as your son. He didn't start sleeping for more than 8 hours straight until he was about 18 months. Sorry if that's not encouraging, but some babies aren't good sleepers. Now he's almost two and he sleeps about 10 hours at night and takes a good 2 hr nap during the day. I think each age is different and he will get better.
Don't feel like you are doing anything wrong just because your son wakes up at night. One day he will sleep through and you'll be grateful you didn't make him cry himself to sleep when he was a baby. Feed him if he's hungry. Even after I weaned my son, I sometimes offered him a snack if he was hungry.

Hang in there.

CIO works for a lot of parents and babies, but not for all. That's why there's another camp...those of us who co-sleep. I personally found co-sleeping to be a huge blessing. My babies slept in physical contact with me and they slept all night, peacefully and safely.

It sounds like CIO isn't working out for you and it sounds like your heart isn't in it anyways. Why don't you give co-sleeping a try for a while and see if that helps. Don't be afraid to leave the "nurse" out where baby can roll over and get to it on his own if he wants it in the middle of the night.

To me, your post sounds like that of an "Attachment Parenting" at heart mom that's going against her own instincts because she thinks she HAS to. Best piece of advice I can give you....you don't HAVE to do anything. Find what works for YOU and YOUR BABY!

Best of luck to you!

Try cranio-sacral massage therapy. My daughter was a terrible sleeper, and just a few sessions made a huge change in our lives. This is a very light touch therapy, safe for newborns all the way through the elderly. I was not willing to take a chance that my 3rd baby would not sleep well, so he had a cranio session at 4 days old. If you don't see a big improvement after your first session, then this isn't the right thing for him, but it's worth trying once to find out. www.kenpiercy.com Ken is fantastic with babies.

My kids all slept far better on their tummies as infants than on their backs. Your son is old enough to roll over if he doesn't like it. You have already proved that adding cereal and formula don't improve his sleep. He doesn't really need that if you're nursing full time. You might consider dropping the formula out of his diet.

Hang in there. Keep asking for help and looking for answers. Your son needs you to help him sleep better.

S.
SAHM of 3

A., the first question is how is his weight gain and general health apart from the lack of sleep? How is your weight and general health? If he is gaining weight and generally healthy then it should not be a lack of milk supply. But my first suggestion is to make sure YOU are eating and drinking WELL. Many women try to lose baby weight gain after the baby is born and do not eat well enough to support a good milk supply of breastfeeding.

How long is he at the breast? Is he getting to the hind milk which is higher in fat content? Do not limit the time he spends at the breast. See if that helps. He could be having a reaction to the formula or cereal you are feeding him. Or perhaps he is having an allergy problem.

There are other factors that could be playing into this. Obviously, and understandably you are stressed. He also will feel the general stress in the household. Try hiring a postpartum doula for a few days to take care of him at night so you can sleep and recharge and start fresh. I would also call a certified lactation consultant (see ILCA.org) or la leche league group (see illl.org) for specific suggestions.

Hope this helps you.

K. Voigtsberger
Certified birth Doula
Certified Bradley® Educator
Breastfeeding Educator

Has your child recently been sick or recently had vaccines?

Hey there...I've been there! My daughter is 2 1/1 and didn't start sleeping through the night until she was over 2! She was up about every 45 minutes to 1 1/2 hours!! It was awful!
I totally disagree with CIO so that was not an option for us and my ped. knew it. Instead she told me to nurse her back to sleep right away, before she could totally wake up, not for long just long enough to get her to sleep. Feed her once maybe twice but the other times, just a few minutes to get her to sleep. The ped said my daughter wasn't sleeping through her sleep cycles and by not "letting" her fully wake up, it may teacher her to. It did help, not 100% but I started getting 4 - 5 hours of sleep!!! Also since I slept with her, I could easily tell when she started getting restless and I would pat her back, etc. and sometimes she wouldn't wake up. All these things made small differences but did help. There are teething tablets you can buy at Walmart that did help my son sleep, they didn't work at all on my daughter though! It is hard, believe me I know! Hang in, it will get better!!

I don't know if this will be helpful or not. First, you did not do him a disservice by having a feeding schedule. I can tell you that. One of mine strickly bottle fed on a schedule and slept through the night at 4 weeks and my twins nursed on a strict schedule and slept through the night at 6 weeks. They all slept from 7 am to 7 pm by 4 months of age and took two 2 hour naps from 9-11 and 1-3. I encouraged all my kiddos to sleep through the night by having them in a raised bassenet next to my bed and when they woke up crying I would reach over and pop the pacy in and stretch them from feeding to feeding through the night until they slept through the night. We have recently had two foster babies. One was 3 weeks and one was 2 months when they came to us. Neither slept through the night yet. We had them both sleeping 8-10 hours through the night within two weeks of coming using the above method. One was a drug baby and fetal alcohol syndrom baby, so if it can work for him then any baby can sleep through the night! :) Good luck. I am not a fan of crying it out either. I will tell you that some babies sometimes cries at night, but he isn't awake. He is sound asleep. Make sure your son is truly awake. They crying can be very real and they are asleep.

How do you know he is not hungry?

6 months old is a growth spurt time....

You said you feed him at 9, 2 or 3 am, and 6 or 7 am. Is that per HIS waking/hunger... or a feeding 'schedule' you have for him???

If you are using a feeding 'schedule'... then that may be the problem. He is not feeding when HE needs to. If you try feeding him when he wakes/needs it... then that may solve it.

I breastfed both my kids.... they woke at night, JUST like your baby.
They had GINORMOUS appetites. They woke every 2-3 hours. I nursed them at night if they woke.
I also had a lot of milk... so they were satisfied. Not hungry all the time.

I would also check your milk output.... are you producing enough?

Growth spurts and its ensuing wakings... also exist so that the Mom's milk production also increases, per baby's needs/growth. Intake.. has to keep pace WITH the baby.... and growth needs/spurts.
If not, they are hungry.

Also, maybe he is teething? 6 months that happens as well.

Wakings is also due to their MANY developmental/cognitive changes.... and hitting milestones. If he has hit some major changes in development recently and/or milestones... then this ALSO tweaks sleep.

AND... he sounds REAL over-tired. Over-tired babies... actually do NOT sleep better, they have a harder time falling asleep and staying asleep.

Also, MANY babies, get over-stimulated REAL quick, and that does not help sleep either.

Babies, under 1 year old... will typically get real tired, after about 2 hours or less, after being awake.

When he does nap... is it at regular times? Or just whenever? Or only if he is nursing???

Maybe just try a pacifier??? Maybe he is real oral? My son was like that.
Maybe it will help him to self-soothe...

Your baby is normal though. BOTH my kids were like that as babies. But they did nap, well. But they woke at night.... a lot.

all the best,
Susan

Hi! First of all, I can feel your pain. My daughter will be 2 next month and didn't sleep through the night until she was 13 months old. It's HARD!!! She has had a few times since then that she's fallen back into waking several times each night, but we've been able to correct that, and life is so much better!! I, like you, was COMPLETELY against letting her cry it out. Her doctor kept telling me that's what she needed. I tried it once in the middle of the night, and she cried for 3 hours straight. I took her to the doctor the next morning and she had a double ear infection. Talk about feeling like the worst mom ever!! Finally, when she was 13 months old, I read an article that (as corny as it sounds) changed my life. I always rocked her to sleep. If I ever tried to let her cry it out, it was only when she woke in the middle of the night. The article said that the cry it out method is most successful when you put the baby to bed tired, but still awake. The reason is that if you rock the baby to sleep, s/he only knows how to go to sleep with your assistance. Humans, adults and children alike, wake several times throughout the night on a normal night. When the baby wakes, it doesn't know how to get back to sleep on it's own. They say that the older the child is when you start letting them cry it out, the harder it is to do. When she was 13 months old and we tried it, it took 3 nights and she was sleeping through the night. It was amazing!! You are the mom and you need to do what you're comfortable with. You asked for reasons as to why letting them cry it out works, and I wish someone would have shared this with me when she was younger rather than just telling me to suck it up and let her cry. She's in a toddler bed now, and if she starts getting out of the habit of sleeping through the night, we just put a baby gate up in her doorway so she can still see us, but can't get out of her room. It usually only takes one night now. Good luck!! I hope you get some rest soon. I don't care what anyone says, 8 hours of sleep isn't the same if you have to get up multiple times each night!!! ::HUGS:: Hang in there!!

i hate to say it, but i think you need to let him cry it out more. I know that sounds harsh, but it might help. You may also need to look at a few more things. Is his diaper wet or has he pooped? Make sure you try the overnight diapers if you are not using those. You didnt mention a paci. If he doesnt have one, you may want to try it. It will help him soothe. Is he hot? If you dont have a fan in there, you may want to try one of those too. My daughter has slept thru the night since 4 mos and we did the cio method. She was waking up in the middle of the night to feed and by 4 months my dr said she didnt need that. She cried for about an hr the first night and i would go in every 10-15 mins and pat her and tell her shhhh, but i would not pick her up and i would not look at her. looking at her makes her think she is going to get out of the crib. i would just pat her. she finally went off to sleep. she slepth thru the first night but stirred around her usual time for a feed. i patted her and shhhh'd her and gave her the paci and it worked perfectly...right back to sleep. i didnt turn on any lights or anything. no talking to stimulate her. she cried again for just like 15 mins the 2nd night and that was it. she is 2 now and sleeps like a champ, plus takes about a hour and a half nap during the day. we do the same routine every single time at night. eat, get ready for bed, read and rock, night time diaper on and then in bed. been doing that since 4 months...the same thing. the crying thing obviously is hard to do and hear. it forces them to learn how to soothe themselves and that is what you are looking for. soothing yourself allows you to feel comfortable to go off to sleep. i wouldnt do it if he was sick or anything like that. he could also be uncomfortable from teething as that is harder for them to deal with at night since there is no stimulation to distract them. good luck!

Try reading "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley.