My 6 Year Old Was Not "Allowed" to Eat His Snack at School

First off you are a better woman than.. I would have been all over that teacher... He is in kindergarten!!! The aid should have taken this as a teaching opportunity.. If she feels this is not a healthy snack maybe he could have had it for today since that was what he had and the teacher and him could of discussed why this wasn't appropriate and maybe a note home to you the parent explaining the situation.. But to deny a 5 year old a snack while everyone else is eating IS NOT OK

I don't think you're over-reacting. You are upset because your son was upset. Yes, you should get the whole story from the school but the comment that you should think about home-schooling your child is absolutely ridiculous!! You are being a good mom by trying to find out what happened so that it doesn't happen again. You are also teaching your son a good lesson by letting him know that you will help him with things that bother him. Good for you! Let us know what happens.

I feel if you are providing the snack for your child they have no right to tell you what to feed your child. I sent a homemade all bran muffin with my child for snack and the teacher told my child that was not a healthy snack. Was he here when I made it? I don't think so! Plus, it is not up to him what I feed my child. There are times I will send my child to school with saltines and 7 UP for lunch. Is it healthy? NO! But it does help when her IBS is acting up. I would talk to the teacher and find out the whole story first though. There is no way I would allow anyone to tell me how to feed my children.

I'm sorry I'm late - but I just had to say - this seems so dumb. Not you being angry about your son not eating his snack (I would be, too)- but the whole snack routine. I taught first grade and we had snack time. I had 20 students and I asked parents to donate snack for the week. At open school night at the beginning of the year, they signed up for one or two weeks. Buying snack for the week for a class of 20 could be a case of applesauce and a big carton of goldfish. It comes out to be the same cost as buying your own child snack every day of the year and it makes it easier on everyone. Kids would be out at recess and I'd set out the snack on a napkin at their tables. Everyone got the same snack, the same amount, at the same time...They ate snack as I read a story. They knew they had to finish snack by the time the story was over b/c it was then time to get back to work. I also provided parents with a list of acceptable and unacceptable snacks - as well as warned if there were any allergies that year. If you get a chance to have any input - suggest this system for the future - it will make the teacher's life easier!

Ugh, I find this whole "restrictive eating" stuff annoying. Yet another area of life that is legislated to death so people no longer have to think for themselves. While it is true that we don't want our children eating truckloads of junk, it is best to do things in moderation. There is nothing wrong with indulging every once in a while...it's HEALTHY to do so. It's not healthy if it is a regular habit.

I'm a teacher and, if in fact what you describe is happening, I am appalled. First of all, if the teacher is going to actually mandate healthy snacks then she'd better provide a list of acceptable treats. The concept of 'healthy' can be very subjective and vary from person to person. If she's going to impose strict rules then she needs to give clear guidelines so a kid does not go hungry, feel excluded or singled-out. Secondly, CALL her (I'd skip the e-mail; you want an response NOW, not with the opportunity for her to craft out a perfectly worded, politically correct response) and either talk with her over the phone or set up an appointment to meet with her. Discuss the actual snack policy, get clarity regarding the incident with your son.

This seems pretty ridiculous to me. Call and find out more. If after speaking with the teacher you find that you're not satisfied, speak with her immediate supervisor or the principal. It's important to follow the 'chain of command' no matter what you do or how you feel, because you will tend to get better results that way.

Wow...I'd call and get the whole story first. Sometimes kids get stuff mixed up, or leave things out...because they are kids. My son is in kindergarten, it's all day, and they only get 1 snack a day. We all are assigned 1, sometimes 2 days out of the month to bring a snack and juice for the kids. It can be anything except for candy or soda. Now, I wouldn't want my kids school to tell me what my kid and couldn't eat either, or that he was being denied snack without reason, or because it wasn't healthy enough...etc., but I have an inkling there is more to the story. My goodness whatever happened to goldfish, pretzels, or graham crackers? At the beginning of the school year my son was coming home with his lunch barely touched (now mind you, he is a chow hound with hollow legs). So it happened a few times, and I asked why he wasn't eating his lunch...his response was that he was rushed outside to play...I asked how did he mean rushed? He said that he hardly got his lunch out, and it was time to go outside. They have lunch monitors...not their normal teacher during this time...turns out he was enjoying talking to his ffreinds so much he wasn't paying attention to eating. Now lunch is finished..he just had to get into the swing of things. But, do you see how it sounded to me initially, especially since this is my first one in school. It sounded like they were giving the kids five minutes to chow down...turns out he was just pokey. Hope this helps.

Without reading what the other moms said (which briefly looked like-check out the story) I think some of these people that work in schools do not seem to understand how important it is to let the children have their snacks. I have worked in schools for many, many years and in all sorts of them as a sub and a lot of times people are on schedules that they are not willing to alter five minutes (not me! in my classes everybody gets their snack). I have seen snacktime used as a bartering situation to get work out of children and then I have seen wonderful people who understand that someone may be hungry and whatever it is, the child gets their snack. I had the same thing happen years ago when I sent a quick bag of Doritos with my son because I didn't have time to build a fruit salad or pick turnips. The teacher about bit my head off on how non nutritious it was. I thought well sweeties, why don't you start buying our snacks then. I of course complied but was very angry and in some countries similar Dorito like foods are a staple. It seemed silly then and silly now. Do these people not have something better to do than to crank about Doritos? Now it wasn't a bag of sugar or chocolate and although it wasn't a garden salad I am sure that everyone has had the occasional Dorito or substitute when they were hungry. What a world we live in. Anyway, hopefully that was just one time and if it isn't then talk to someone. Perhaps teacher, and then maybe School Board. It is hard for little people to work when they are hungry.

I have a boy in K too. My school has a published snack list. Only items listed on this list are acceptable. If I send something not on the list (even if it's healthy), my child will not be allowed to eat it and it will be sent home. The list was approved by the admin of my school district, not just his teacher. In your situation, I would push to have some sort of list established for all to follow. Then, you are not guessing what is or is not healthy. Personally, I do not think cookie cereal (even if whole grain) is healthy. What I typically send is apple slices, cheese stick, organic raisins, whole grain crackers, or banana. These are my son's preferences. If I want to send a treat, it goes in his lunch bag.

I am a teacher and have been for several years. Healthy eating is something I struggle with for my myself, as well as my children. I understand the school wellness policy, but more importantly I believe in schools having policies and rules. It makes life better for the students as well as the teachers. We as parents must follow the rules. It is as simple as that. Children don't always like or want to follow the rules we set for them, but they still must follow them. We need to lead by example and follow the rules set for us. You need to follow the rules so your child is not "punished" for your actions. Simply read the list of suggested snacks and stick with them. Is this really something to get crazy about? Do you really find it that hard to pick up some fruit or crackers at the store? You are teaching your child that only some rules apply . . . Think about it from the teachers point of view . . . she will have parents calling and complaining to her for allowing your child to have cookies (kids don't know the difference between cookie crisp and cookies). She'll be in trouble for not following the wellness policy with her principal as these parents take their concerns to her. Rules are not always easy to follow, but still need to be respected. Is it really that difficult to send healthy items so your child is happy? On a side note, I would never have taken a child's snack without a replacement. It's not the child's fault. I always have a box of crackers on hand for situations like this. I even have a note printed to send home to parents reminding them of the approved list of snacks, letting them know that their child was offered crackers in place of the snack they sent to school. If you do contact the teacher, perhaps suggest this rather than arguing the healthiness of Cookie Crisp cereal.

Unless there's a food allergy issue, she has no right to dictate what you send for a snack. Encouraging healthy options is great, sending a list of suggeted snack foods is even better, but she has no right to refuse your son his snack based on nothing. Like the one lady said, call, don't email. Nip this in the butt right away. Of course, approach it in a friendly way - maybe there was a mis-communication, maybe there is a child with severe allergies, maybe your son mis-understood (though I doubt it.) If she can't offer you a good explanation, insist that if she ever denies him his snacktime again, you'll go straight to the principal (or better yet, just go to the principal anyway.) But before you crucify her, just make sure something wasn't lost in translation. And healthy is definitely relative - I try to avoid giving my son animal products or artificial sweeteners as much as possible, so yogurt or cheese and crackers wouldn't really work for me, but it would be considered healthy to most other people.

it's not the fat content that made it unhealthy, it's that it was COOKIES. Yes, cookie crisp cereal says it's whole grain, but it's very very little whole grain and sugar is one of the first few ingredients. Basically they are little cookies.

Why not email the teacher and ask for a list of ok snacks since this seems to be an issue?

Some ideas - bagel, pretzels, cut up strawberries in a bag, blueberries or grapes or an apple or pear he can chomp (doesn't need to be cut), crackers, graham crackers, carrots or cucumbers or celery or green pepper with dip in a little container, kix, chex, or cherrios are good cereals, fig newtons might be allowed but I would check, granola bars might be allowed, but again depends on the rules.

I also wanted to add that at least in our school district (Plainfield 202) they can't have anything that is not whole grain or fruit/veggies, low in sugar, under 100 calories, and healthy. Our school was the pilot school for the wellness policy which all schools in the USA had to have in place in order to still receive federal funds. So, it may not be his teacher, but the district that set the rules.

N.

hi J.,

I would talk to the teacher to clear up any mis-understanding. At least your Kindergartner gets to have a snack time - they have done away with it in our school district's Kindergartens!

Anyway is it possible it could be a food allergy issue? Some kids have such severe food allergies (especially anything with peanuts or nut oils) that even being in proximity to these foods can cause them to be very ill.

The teacher most likely has a list of snacks that are allowed. I would be upset if your son was denied his snack due to any other reason.

good luck to you,

W.

I would just talk to the teacher first and ask why he wasn't allowed to eat his snack. Alot can get lost between what really happened at school and what the child tells a parent. Maybe he was finishing up some work and there was no time to eat it, but then he comes home and says he wasn't allowed...I would not jump to any comclusions just yet. Go to the teacher without an attitude and matter of factly ask. Then when you get the whole story, you can react accordingly.

First I want to say the remark about home schooling from on another response is crazy, that has nothing to do with snacks. Now on to the real question...I think this whole snack thing hasnt gotten crazy. I agree that I dont think they should tel us what to feed our kids. I am all for healthy snacks, but somekids only eat certain things. My son for instance his school snack is either applesauce or yogurt ( which we had to fight to let them have it )thats all likes. he likes cheese and crackers but no cant send that, sohe is stuck with two things. They dont even want goldfish or grahmn crackers. Even for class parties, everything has to be store bought and they suggest healthy. I know eating healthy is good, but come on it a party and snack time.

I would talk to the teacher and the principal and them how upset he was. If thats all he had they should have let him have it or they should have a extra supply just incase

Good Luck
C. Petras
AVON REP

I can't help but wonder how a teacher gets so much power over our kids?? If talking to the teacher isn't successful you may consider seeing if other parents are struggling with similar snack issues.

One possible solution is to have all parents send in their own kids' snacks. I hate that our kids are treated like lemmings and as parents were just supposed to blindly obey moronic "rules" set by who know who. I might consider pushing the issue to have my kid opt out of this stupid "policy". So be it that he's different. We gotta show our kids that sometimes you WILL stand out when you stand up for what you believe and that's ok! That's how you gain integrity and self respect. Could be a character building issue.

Alot of school districts have adopted healthy eating standards. The goal was to help with understanding both healthy portions and healthy foods. My daughter has celiac disease and I understand that it can be a challenge to come up with the new and interesting snack that they are willing to eat that is not giving the kids a sugar high to have it plummet shortly after. While cookie crisp may have less fat than another cereal, check the sugar content, it is high and preservatives and the fact it well lookes like cookies. The other kids that brought the apple, raisins, whole grain cracker will look and be jealous. They will then go home and tell their parents that another kids is having cookies at snack time why can't I. Therefore taking the focus away from having a great time learning and a snack to keep the brain going to a focus and war on food. Teachers these days generally have larger classes and have to keep a standard. I found out the hard way by sending sweet breads for snack and having them sent home with a note.

J.,
It is not only the public school system, it also the Catholic school's.
My daughter is in 8th grade & my son is in 6th. It has happened, I even worked at the school for a while and I hated they way the "young" teacher treated a kid in my class, I yelled at her & did not go back the next year.
I think some , now I am saying some don't everyone write back & say how awful I am, get into teaching because they think it is a easy job, and hey I get the summer off. Teaching is not easy. I was so upset by this teacher that I started my own daycare just so people would have a safe place to send their kids.
Yes, by all means if this teacher is putting restrictions on what the children can bring, I would not go to the teacher I would go to the pricipal.I can alomst guarantee that the principal has no idea. Cookie crisp is a whole wheat cereal, it is not a terriable snack. I understand that fruit is a better snack, but we do not always have fresh fruit in our homes. And if a spoon is out of the question, which makes no sense to me, what does she expect the kids to bring crackers? And so what if she has to peel a banana or two, is she not there to help these kids.
I am sorry but this type of behavior to a young child just gets my blood to boil.
Ler her know you are upset as well as your son.
The more I think people think that they can get a way with, with little kids they will. Let her know that your son comes home and tells you about his day. She may be a little less apt to pick on him.

Hi J.--
I have a daughter in kindergarten. The teacher did send home a list of "healthy" snacks at the beginning of the year. There has been a boy in her class that brought an unacceptable snack. The teacher did have a replacement snack--pretzels. She said that she keeps snacks on hand "just in case". Our school does not allow any juice either--my daughter can either bring a small bottle of water or have a carton of milk. They can not bring any sweets for birthdays or special days. I think that is ridiculous--that is a special day and should be celebrated in that way. I remember growing up how special it was to bring something on your birthday that all of the kids loved to eat! I also think that YOU are the parent and YOU should decide what is acceptable and unacceptable for YOUR child.

I think that it was unacceptable that they did not offer a replacement snack for your child. Does the teacher understand that your child has some anxiety with social situations? She should have never "made him different" from the other children. That is just not acceptable. I would definately call the teacher and voice your concern. Good luck!

I think maybe you are overreacting. I would of found out the whole story from the teacher and talk to the principal before you jump to conclusions. Maybe you should think about home-schooling your children.

Personally, I feel you should be able to feed your child whatever you want. I've tried "healthy" grocery shopping, and guess what? Buying nothing but fruits, veggies and organic products is crazy expensive. I think you should address the issue. It's not like it was a candy bar. Besides, even fun cereals have iron, phosphorus and other beneficial minerals/vitamins. I think it's worse to not eat - it can lower blood sugar too low and cause kids to gorge later on. Shame on that teacher!

Hi J.~

I think this was TOTALLY inappropriate for the teacher to do. He is SIX for heaven's sake!! For one you should be able to feed your kids what you want, especially if there was no list sent home as to what they can and cannot bring for a snack. She should have let him eat the snack and if it's really that big of deal she should have talked to you about it, but like I said she should have let him eat his snack. Poor peanut, this breaks my heart!!! You definately need to let her know she was in the wrong and that she should NEVER deny those little one's their snacks. Good luck!!

J., I am in a little bit later part of life so here goes my advice. I would ask your sons teacher for a list of what is acceptable in the classroom as "healthy" my kids are older now 26, 20, 19 and almost 14. with exception of youngest all attended catholic schools. youngest is in public school. The teacher is trying to keep the kids as healthy as possible. she cannot afford to supply snacks for 20 some odd kids. and while it is a quick snack to throw cereal in a bag its not really healthy. no unhealthy but not healthy. if you ask her for a list of appropriate items and she gives you nothing to work with then go to the principal but i would nto skip straight to that. have "you" actually spoken to her? or just getting what the child says when he comes home? Sometimes a little more thurough conversation will reveal more info. for instance it may have been a case of a child straggling behind in getting done. my son came home once and told me he wasn't allowed to work on his paper in class so he got a zero. turns out instead he and a friend got in trouble and spent the time goofing off. hence the zero. i would really suggest a meeting with the teacher before jumping to principal.
S.