My 8 Month Old

No--I don't agree that just putting her in there and letting her cry is of value to anyone. Feed her and rock her until she's drowsy--really drowsy.
Then put her in her crib (soft music, nite lite on) and tell her night night. If she's crying in 5 mins go in and pat her, sooth her but do not pick her up, leave and soothe again after 5 mins in the same way. Gradually increase the time increments to 10 min, 15 min, etc.

It sounds like you are considering CIO because everyone is telling you to. I struggled with that too. Everyone (including her ped and parent educator and my friends) said you HAVE to let her cry. But my instincts said no, and my instincts were right with her. She had food allergies, and once we addressed them, sleep was so much easier. She's a stubborn kid too, so I don't think CIO would have worked regardless, and I wouldn't have been able to do it. If you don't like the idea of it, read Dr. Sears Baby Sleep book...I found that very comforting....and no you don't HAVE to let her cry. If you decide you will, please get a book and have a plan, don't just let her cry indefinitely.

To get a little one to sleep they must be taught how to sleep. They don't automatically know how. CIO doesn't teach a baby to sleep. It floods their system with stress hormones and raises their blood pressure. It goes against every mothering instinct i have. Not the kind of night I want for me or for my infant.

Invest some time in learning about infant sleep so you can teach your little one how to do it. Routine is paramount. Baby learns what to expect and what is expected.

I highly recommend Dr. Sears Baby Sleep Book, The Baby Whisperer and The No-Cry Sleep Solution. All have valuable tips, tricks and info on baby sleep.

What do your mama instincts tell you? There are a LOT of books on sleep and they will contradict each other. So, I would go with your gut. If you think that your baby needs to cry a bit (like to flush out the day's stress) you can do that. If you think that your baby is upset by being alone, you can try comforting her and then just before she's asleep, put her in the crib. If she fusses, give her a minute, then repeat if necessary.

If you want to go the not crying route. (which is what I choose, because why cry if you don't need to?) Check out "Sleepless in America" by Kurcina, "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Pantley and maybe Harvy Karp has some helpful information as well. (your library should have them)

Teething can upset sleep patterns and many other mysterious things known only to babies can disrupt sleep as well. LOL

My son slept with me till he was one year old. Then I put his crib right next to my bed and put him to sleep in that. He was upset and angry and he cried a lot, so I sat next to him and rubbed his back or leg or head to comfort him and told him it was bed time. Everytime he tried to sit up I just laid him back down and told him it was bedtime. He would cry for a while until he realized that I was not going to pick him up but that I was still there to comfort and love him while he fell asleep. I did that until he went to sleep and then I went to bed. When he woke up during the night I would not pick him up I simply rubbed and touched him to comfort him back to sleep. Before too long he stopped fighting me and went to sleep almost as soon as I put him down. After a while I moved his crib across the room and eventually into his own room. The key is to be consistent but you don't just let them cry it out you still offer comfort like back rubbing. Also remain calm and confident because the baby will pick up on it if you are unsure and upset. You need to reassure the baby that she will be fine and that her bed is a safe and secure place to sleep. It takes patience because you might spend an hour or more getting her down at first and there will be times when you finally go to bed and she wakes up ten mins later but don't give up. I now have a 3month old daughter who is sleeping with me and I plan to use this method with her when she is old enough.

I hate CIO What I do instead is out my son down in the crib, leave, once he cries, go and pat his back, sing a round of ABC's and leave, when he cries go back in and do the same. It took a while of this for him to fall asleep on his own, but it was worth in not letting my son fall asleep crying (which I hate doing myself if it's been a bad day)
I second Dori's post. We did try CIO for a couple days and it went forever. After an hour I gave up because it was so heart wrenching and he was only crying harder and harder. I did even more reading and found a great routine that worked well for us. which at 5 I give him solids then bath, book, bottle. My mom calls it the 3 B's. lol

I had to do that and it only took one night. I put my daughter in her crib and let her cry. But I was told not to go check on her so I sat just outside her bedroom door where I could see her but she couldn't see me.

I start out by going in and giving a hug and checking diapers at 5 minutes because sometimes crying can make them wet again even though we just changed them. After that, I will get them back out of bed after 20 minutes of straight through crying. If they stop crying for awhile and start again I'll give them a little more time.

You have to do what you are comfortable with. Keep in mind that no baby has become injurred or sick because of crying. It is very hard to do (as is most habit breaking is) but sometimes there is no other choice. She is too old for swaddling so i would say this would be your next option.

I did it with my daughter when she was a baby and we went through it almost every night. She would cry for about 10 - 20 minutes and then she would crash. If we did not do it she would have stayed up forever and that is not healthy for anyone. There are some guidelines for 'crying it out' if you are looking, otherwise, I just put her in her crib and she would fall alseep when she was ready to.

http://cryitoutmethod.com/

DO NOT let her cry it out!! That is the WORST advise anyone could give a parent!! PLEASE read "The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night" by Elizabeth Pantley. You can "train" your baby to sleep well and never have to go through the emotional turmoil of all that crying - and that goes for the BOTH of you!!

I know there are a lot of critics of the cry it out method. The problem is that she is now eight months old and you are just now teaching her how to put herself to sleep. So that means she is probably going to be angry and confussed because heck who wouldn't want someone else soothing them and you have trained her not to do this for herself.

Part of the letting her cry is teaching her that you have boundries (even if they are new) and that crying wont manipulate mom into picking her up and doing the previous method (feeding, rocking ect). But I don't think it was meant to have mom walk out for 30 minutes and leave the confused child there. At such a young age go back in the room and pat her back or reset her music or lay her back down and say reasuring words to her. The trick is to no matter what, do NOT pick her up because that creates confussion about wether or not it is ok to be in the crib. She will pick up from you the vibe that everything is ok. You want to start at reasuring her every minute and then increase by one full minute each time you go back to her crib, and shorten the interaction with her so she understands that you are becoming more restful and not reengaging her in conversations/play time. For the first week or two of this you might consider bringing a book in to read near her bed so she knows you are still there for her (but avoid giving eye contact inbetween time slots). Just be consistent and she will get it.

I made the same mistake with my daughter and started teaching her this skill at nine months, but after the first week or two she really seemed so much happier about going to bed. She liked gaining the control of when she actually fell asleep verses before being tricked into sleep by me feeding or rocking her. I think most moms like to rock them to sleep but we all eventually get to that point, that all our mom time is spent on getting them to sleep and we see the benefit to us and the baby to have them learn this skill at an appropriate age.

Well, there are of course critics to that theory so you have to do what you feel is right. I personally like the freedom to be able to put my child in their bed, walk away and they go to sleep wtihout having to rock them, etc, but an 8 month old is very aware and it could be really hard to get there.

Look into some articles about CIO, but for hte most part it is NOT about just abandoning them in their room and leaving. The first night you go in the first time they cry and pat them, tell her you love her and leave again. If she continues crying go in again, do the same thing and tell her you're here but you're not coming back and don't go back. The second night, basically the same thing, the third night, only go in once, after that don't go in at all. Like someone else said, it's about teaching boundaries. You want to go in those first few nights so it eases their fear about whether or not you are truly there and can respond to them in a crisis. Once they know you're there it then becomes about wanting to be with you, and that's where the boundary issues come into play. Self soothing is a lifetime skill so why not start now? It's a tough spot to be in. Good luck

C.,

Please don't do this. If you were crying, would you want your husband to ignore you? Check some resources on "attachment parenting." Dr. William Sears is one good resource. Even if you're not breastfeeding, La Leche League is another good source of information on attachment parenting.

Your baby trusts you to respond to her needs, and she needs you. I have raised four children, currently ages 15 to 23. They've all turned out great, and any adult they've ever encountered at school or church or work will back me up on that. They have certainly not been spoiled. The doctor who first recommended this "cry it out" idea had no children of his own and was disliked by everyone around him. Trust your heart on this.

the last child added to my daycare was almost 1 y.o. Until that time he'd been home w/Mom. Naptime was sporadic, with her rocking him & then laying him down somewhere near her. Whether it was 5 minutes or an hour, he was allowed to get up when he wanted. .....bedtime was different - I think because he was exhausted! She'd rock him & then he'd sleep all night.

That said, transitioning to the daycare was quite an adjustment ....with naptime. We don't have the luxury of being able to nap at any time! At first, I tried him in a bedroom. The first day he cried a little, but was so tired that he fell asleep quickly! Day 2 & 3 were nightmares, until I realized the issue was .....the bedroom, the distance from me.

We now have a routine: his bed is in the living room with the older kids (which makes sense....he has 3 older siblings!). I lay him down, continue to lay him down each time he sits up, & I sit nearby quietly reading to myself. All he really needed was a visual presence. After 2 days of consistency & persistence, he began laying back down by himself! He has achieved Peace.....& I'm very happy about this!

With the other children, they were infants when I taught them to sleep in bed. All it took was using the same routine & method daily. Once they learned to sleep independently here, it transitioned to home too! I waited until they were drowsy, full belly. I wrapped them snuggly, used soft music & low lights, & the pacifier if needed. I tried to avoid the CIO method to prevent equating stress with independent sleep. In my 8+ years of inhome daycare, all of the children have been good sleepers using this method.....& then they learn to be at home, too!

i have not personally made my kids cry themselves to sleep, but i have a friend whose daughter cried so hard that she started vomiting. perhaps your daughter won't do that, but just be aware that it is a possibility.

well you have certainly got alot of different answers, I am a grandma and raised 3 children and helped with 4 grandchildren. Babies have to be trained (taught) how you want them to be, and if you have rocked and pampered them then you trained them that way, if you have allowed screaming and hitting and not listen to you, you have trained them that way. If you want obedient children you must train, as for this little one tell her it is nap time put her in her bed or crib, I trained mine with some childrens music softly playing, when I put the music on they knew it was nap time, you will probably have to let her cry it out because she is use to controlling you. I do agree with the other moms who suggested to go back in once and let her know you are there, DO NOT pick her up. leave a crack in the door so you can check on her without her knowing you are there, and she will fall asleep, if she is crying a lot she will wear herself out and fall asleep but it gets less and less everyday until she finally knows that mom meant what she said, and she will need to learn that in all areas of discipline, dads and moms need to be a person of their word that your children can trust what you say whether they are 3 months or 16 years or 23 years old. This give the child a secure feeling know they can trust what you say. Also makes for good friendships later in life. For her sake don't give in on this,