My Babies Last Name

Updated on October 06, 2010
M.M. asks from Coraopolis, PA
8 answers

i am only 10 weeks pregnant & just found out. The father of my baby just recently died. Whenever my childs born, would i be able to put his last name? Even put his name on the birth certificate?

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K.B.

answers from Harrisburg on

Yes you can, if he was in fact the father. If his family has any doubts they can request a DNA test using the closest family members to verify. If he was in fact the father, please notify his family. This would help them in their time of loss and the child deserves a chance to know their father's family.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

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D.S.

answers from Allentown on

Hi, Michele:
First of all, I want you to know that I feel your pain from your loss.
You can put the baby's father's name on the birth certificate.
Find a grief and loss support group to help you with this loss.
All the Best.
D.

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G.B.

answers from Tulsa on

Call your county clerks office or vital statistics office. They might know.

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R.F.

answers from Harrisburg on

I'm so sorry for your loss!
You should definately do whatever it takes to put the father's name on the birth certificate. As others mentioned, there may be benefits the baby is entitled to, but only if it is legally noted who the father is. If you and the father are married, by all means, name the baby with the father's (and, presumably your) last name.

If you and the father are not married or engaged, I would think twice about putting the father's name as the baby's last name. I'm guessing from what you wrote that you and the father were not married. While it certainly would honor the father's memory to name the child after him, maybe it would be better consider using that name as a middle name. You need to carefully consider the family you will be. As your baby grows, a natural question is "why is my name different from yours, Mommy?". I know successful business women who had maintainted their maiden names who finally changed after their children wanted to know why they had different names than their parents. It affects their identity of where they belong. You will be the baby's family, unfortunately without the father. It may be better to concentrate on the family you will be, rather than the family you would have been. So, my thought is, if you're not married, then honor the father by using his name somehow, but give the baby your last name.

Our thoughts are with you through this difficult time.

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D.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

Congrats on your pregnancy and sorry for the loss of the father. I would say yes you should be able to put his name on the birth certificate. Hopefully,no one in his family will object. I would also see if you can apply for social security survivors benefits. Your child should be eligible for this. I do not know how you would prove paternity. Best of luck to you.

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R.P.

answers from Allentown on

I can answer this question with 100% certainty since this just happened to me a few years ago. I was engaged to be married and my fiance died in an airplane crash. I found out literally 3 days later that I was pregnant.

Anyway, I had to wait until the baby was born to have a DNA test. I actually called around for months while pregnant and found out that when the baby was born I had to go to my local Domestics office. They did a DNA test with the grandparents then sent me official papers stating my fiance was the father (signed by a judge). I was then able to mail a copy in with my son's original birth certificate (that had no father listed). They changed it.

I was actually then able to go down and file for social security death benefits for my son after all that as well. Just make sure that you call and speak with someone at your local Domestics office before you go so she can get prepared. Everyone else had no clue what to do. You still have plenty of time.

Oh and by the way, you can actually name your baby anything you want. You do not need a paternity test for that. So you can put his father's last name as his without all that I stated. You just need to do testing to get him listed as his father on a birth certificate and to get social security death benefits (if he worked enough).

I know this is hard. I was a total mess!!! But you will make it.
Good Luck!!

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M.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

I am so sorry for your loss... I'm not sure of the legal rules, but you may want to consider using the father's last name as the baby's middle name and then use your own last name.... Just a thought...

I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly.

J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think, but I am not 100% sure, you have to have a DNA test, to declare he is the father. I would go to the hospital and talk to the liaison and ask her what the procedures would be. You might be able to get an answer through social security as well. My bf and I aren't married when we had our baby, but he had to sign all the paperwork for teh birth certificate and social security info. Im sorry fo ryour loss, good luck!

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