My Baby Always Cries in the Car

My 9 mo. old son is the same way. some things that have helped...

a bag of toys next to us in the front seat and keep handing him new ones.

a light up activity thing on the back of the seat kinda worked.

I play my cell phone for him and it stops his crys instantly, but it gets old to keep clicking through the ringtones list.

he gets hot easily, so we don't have him wear his coat in the carseat, we just use a blanket and that seems to be better.

My daughter was the opposite from this, so it has been hard getting used to. I also noticed it is worse at night. He seems to like to look out the window and I think he doesn't like that he can't see well...

Oh, I also hung stuff from the little shirt hook for him to look at and dangle above him, he really liked this when he was littler.

I hope some of this helps! I will have to see what others say on here also!

Take care,
S.

My son did that when he was little too....2 reasons I found out were he was TOO hot and the sun hit him in the face. If you think about what they are wearing and then any blankets, bundle mes or carseat covers plus the heat on in the car with the sun shining on you. We took off the extras and bought a shade to go across the back of the car window and the sides. it helped.

I had one child that did that too. When I finally had him facing front he was fine. I always wondered if some of them don't get carsick.

I am sorry this isn't much help...

Hi L.,

I would reccommend that you begin creating the atmosphere that will carry over into the car. First, purchase on Amazon- shipped ASAP (or borrow- or perhaps you already have) a calming CD that she can start listening to at quiet times. I started this when my baby was a new born. During quiet times, nursing times, nap times etc... I would put in a very nice piano CD that I loved as well as she associated with tranquility. (our favorites- Vince Madison (all), Brahms- sleepytime serenade, Enya, Yanni....). Your baby will already be entranced once 3 or 4 settings have been established. You won't believe how easy it will and what a HUGE difference it will make. I think you shoudl try to begin the calming attmosphere association when you can stay home for a couple days in a row (for best and fastest rsults), but if you don't have that luxury, and you have got to do some traveling daily, then start with the same CD in the car. Always start from the beginning until your baby is very familiar with the whole CD, then add in another etc....(but you canot show any reaction to the crying- otherwise, the baby will pick up on it and continue as long as you do. So if is slow starting, try to keep the trips to a minimum. Keep in mind, if whatver you are doing to try to calm the baby while in the car- isn't working, then it doesn't help to continue, try something else. My method is a God-send.

You should know, that this is such a wonderful technique tht applies to gettting the baby ready for the upcoming nap, calming it down when it gets a boo-boo, etc....Babies and children alike like and react best to repetition and familarity. Something they can expect and look for ward to. There really isn't an unexpected surprise for the baby when the music comes on, it is calm because it knows what to expect. So, always keep it in mind (even on your MP3 player in the future)- todler years....imagine - your out shopping for groceries, and the baby is now 2 or 3, having a fit, grouchy, irratable etc....have some headphones (not earbuds) and be prepared with the calming usic that they can't help but to be calmed by.

Another thing that I think will help with those cases that even music cannot fix and the music association has been put in place- visual stimulation....the mirror on the back of the back seat- allows for you to see baby, and for baby to see you. There are toys that keep baby company and busy while on the ride. Interactive kicking, touching, pulling toys that react different ways...they sky is the limit.

But for now- a ritual needs to be created- one that promises the same peaceful music that has already been associated with something else that is calming, naps, nursing, QT in the glider.. etc....

Hope this helps you both relax!

God Bless.

A.

Yes. I have 4 kids, and have had 2 who hated the car. My first born was one of them. Being a first time mom and a firm believer in attachment parenting, I felt so guilty when she would cry. I would think she doesn't know why she has been abandoned. Sometimes I would stop and nurse her if I could, but many times I just wanted to get where I was going and ended up speeding the whole way.

My 5 month old son hates the car too. He has in the past month or two gotten so much better though. For the first couple of months, I had to keep my hand back there to let him suck on my finger. He hated the pacifier right from the start. After a couple months, he would no longer suck on my finger and would just scream. I was thankful that my older children could sometimes entertain him, but I only have them half of the time (I share custody with their dad). Sometimes, if I turned the bass way up on the stereo, that helped put him to sleep faster. It usually worked for my firstborn, but not as well for him.

At 5 months, I have learned which times he is more likely to be screaming in the car and avoid those times whenever possible. I try to get him to sleep first if it is his naptime. I can also give him toys that briefly keep him entertained. I also think it made a difference when I switched him from the infant car seat to the Britax Roundabout. I did that when he was about 3 months old.

Although it is nervewracking to drive while your baby screams, just remember that it is a phase. My oldest doesn't seem harmed by it now that she is 8 years old. Just stop and calm your baby or nurse her when you can, but when you can't, you will both get through it.

My first thought was motion sickness too. But the others have some good advise/ideas also. I suffer from motion sickness, and here are some tips on that subject. #1 Sitting backwards is terrible, because you need to see further out - that makes the motion not so bad; #2 Having something cold to drink helps - don't know why, but it does. Maybe it helps calm the stomach; #3 they say it is an inner-ear thing, but nothing you can really do about it. I tried the pressure point bracelets & they worked for a while, but as I have gotten older, it has gotten worse. Some people out-grow it, hopefully I will some day. Good luck.

L.,

My daughter was the same way when she was just born. What I noticed is, when we put a receiving blanket under her, it made a big difference. she wanted something softer. Good Luck.. It is hard to listen to your little one cry the whole ride. I know I could barely stand it.

My son will be 17months old any day now. He gets to watch movies b/c he is face forward, but when he was younger facing rear, he didn't enjoy the car too much either...UNTIL we got those little toys that latch on/velcro to the carseat carrier bar. He loved them, he stared at them. When he was big enough to reach them, some played music and vibrated or had bells. I would try some of those to grab her attention, you'd be surprised. Good luck

I would agree with the idea of motion sickness. I got sick in the car all the time as a child...still do...on the school bus, etc. It was a pain, and still is! Maybe your dr. has some suggestions?? I know as I got old enough, my parents would give me a sucker or something to ease the nausea. It helped. I know that doesn't help you now though. Hopefully it will get better once you can turn her around, too. Good luck...I know it is so hard to have a crying baby in the car, when you are so helpless!! I feel for you!!

My youngest daughter did the same thing for her first year or so. It helped after we turned her around in her car seat but we finally found out her problem. She was car sick. She stared vomiting every time we went very far. She is now 11 and has outgrown it. See if your Dr can give her something to calm her stomach and see if that helps. It sure did for us. Good luck, I know how frustrating it is not to be able to calm your baby. It will eventually get better.
About me:
I have 3 children, ages 33, 30 and 11. 4 grandchildren ages 4,4,6, and 13

Josh Groban cds were the ONLY thing that got our daughter to stop crying in the car. I don't know if it was his voice, the instruments, or the fact that it was familiar (I listened to it all the time when I was pg with her), but as soon as I would turn on his music, she would instantly stop crying.

I hope you find something that helps. I know how heartbreaking it is to listen to your baby cry - especially when you're not able to go comfort her. Good luck to you!

Hello L.:

First off, congratulations on your very first little one. I am sure she will bring much joy to your life. As for the problem you are having in the car...I would talk to the doctor about it because of course they are going to know your baby better than anyone on-line, but I wanted to share my story with you. My daughter use to be exactly like yours...she did not want to be in the car. It was sad for me because we would take off all the time on trips just out of the blue and my son always loved being in the car. When my daughter came along we stopped taking these trips as it just wasn't worth the stress to her. There were other little things like when the dog would come up on her quickly she would pull her head back quickly, very startled and would cry and really loud noises seemed to really bother her...like the vacuum cleaner, etc. She wasn't a baby that necessarily liked to be held all the time, but if she wasn't snuggled up in your arms she needed to be wrapped pretty tightly in her blanket. Flash forward a few years and she was diagnosed with sensory integration dysfunction...now her first peditrician didn't have a clue what I was talking about, but we went to a different doc and they new exactly what I was talking about. We found out about it by accident because my son had received a brain injury while playing football (yes he still plays) and he was undergoing therapy. One day, I had my daughter with me and while the therapist was working with my son she had apparently been observing my daughter. She asked me a few questions and lo and behold everything started making sense to me. Now I am not saying this is what is going on with your daughter because it could be any number of things and if it is what is going on it isn't anything to be scared of because it is completely fixable...my daughter was an extreme case and she completed therapy ahead of schedule in about 6 months and is absolutely fine today. There is this whole scientific explanation to all of this, but I don't have my papers her with me...basically it interferes with them knowing where they are in space...especially when they have movement such as in the car. When they lose this sense they feel unsecure and that is what would cause the crying in the car. Of course there is so much more to it than this very basic explanation and if you are interested you can email me at ____@____.com and I will dig up my papers and give you some links to go to etc. My daughter got pretty bad to the point that she couldn't sleep at night, she didn't give up her pacifier until she was almost 5 and she was afraid of everything and she couldn't wear any clothes except sweats because everything made or hurt or itch...u know tagless teeshirts and sweatpants...not really want you expect to be dressing your daughter in, but that was our only option. The therapist did some spinning with her and we had to brush her arms, legs, feet, hands and either side of her spine with a special brush several times a day and she slept with a weighted blanket, but now she wears jeans and dresses...there are still some textures she can not handle, but for the most part it is ok and she is sleeping much better. This situation with your daughter could be as simple as an inner ear thing that she will outgrow or any number of things, but again I just wanted to share our story if only as something to rule out as a possibility. Good luck to you with your new addition. Children are the absolute best and it is awesome that you care enough to look into the problem. God bless you.

Hi, L.! Boy, you sound like you are experiencing the same thing we did when my second son was a little guy. I know it will freak a bunch of people out, but I had to turn his carseat around, because it turned out that he was getting car sick! To this day (he's now 10), he gets nauseated in the car if he's in there too long. Once I turned his carseat around, he was like a new kid! I wish you luck, because a screaming kid behind your head when you're driving can make you crazy!! Good luck!

She may have an inner ear problem thst is giving her motion sickness. Even though she is not vomiting as you would expect like an adult. She may be in distress because of the motion of the car. My younger experienced this as a baby, actually still does to some degree and it was found she had an inner ear problem. Hope this helps.

Make sure the straps aren't too tight - I've heard of so many instances where the straps were just way too tight, and once there was just a smidge of slack, the child was okay.

Also - make sure when you're back there with her that you have a bottle to give her.

Make sure you have soothing music to play, or even sing to her.

We even got a portable DVD player and would play NEMO all the time becuase that would calm her down.

Good luck!

I had the same problems with my little ones. I had to sacrafice listening to my music and play lullaby's or just diffrent children cds. It was calming and it put them to sleep. I also played the classical station.

37 yr old wife and mother of 4(4,6,8,10)

Hi L.,
My son is a musician so of course they would put his music on in the car and the kids would calm right down. There is also music for babies that should be very soothing. Turn up the volume a little that might help. Wow, I wish you luck as it is nerve racking enough just with the traffic and to have your child unhappy too, I would get a CD and try it.

I'm getting to this a little late, but I had the same problem with my son at that age, and he got better with it pretty quickly. My son also cried in the stroller, but that also didn't last long. He was pretty colic-y, I don't know if that was part of it or what.

My daughter was the same way. She would scream the whole time! So we timed all our trips to co-incide (sp?) with her nap times. Or if I knew we had to go somewhere in a few hours I would keep her awake so she would sleep in the car. It worked great. She outgrew this at about 5 months old. Now she is just fine in the car.

Give your baby some time...I bet she outgrows it too. Try to create a sleepy enviornment in the car. I would crank the heat and I got a lulliby CD and would play that the whole time. Some rides I wanted to fall asleep too!

Good luck and like I said...I bet she outgrows this soon!

Hi, L.! I'm sorry to hear that your baby isn't loving the car. When I read your post, I was immediately reminded of one of my little brothers. He used to SCREAM in the car each and every time we got into it. The worst being our hour drive to and from church every Sunday morning and evening! Honestly, I really believe that some babies do not like the vibration of the car, and it startles them. I'm totally with you on the CIO front -- especially at 10 weeks. But, I do think the only way to get your daughter used to it is to persevere. After all, you can't not go anywhere! Maybe try an activity bar for her to look at, or time your trips around meal time so you can sit by her and she can eat/suck and sooth herself. I wish you all the best!

My son _hated_ car rides until he was almost 4 months. Now he loves them--so there's hope! But when he didn't like them, our best luck was to try and drive right around his morning nap time, feed him and change his diaper right before leaving, and make sure he was at a comfy temperature and no sun in his eyes. Music (and sometimes just AM radio static) helped some. Start the music louder than her screaming to get her attention, and then slowly lower the volume as she calms down.

Just make sure you're paying attention to the road and not the screaming baby. A baby won't really injure himself by crying at the top of his lungs, but you getting into a wreck could...

I bet it's a form of motion sickness. I can only ride in front and drive now. Even sitting in the passenger front seat I get sick. Usually a bad headache. When I sit in the back I get to the point I throw up. It can happen as quick as riding around the block. Plane rides, train rides and rides at parks like Kings Island are out of the question. Up and down, back and forth, arround, All make me sick. I cannot even sit on a porch swing or slider. I have developed water on the brain. Maybe she has some issues with water on the brain too. I would speak with her doctor. They may recommend something for motion sickness. Ask if you could try thr no doze kind. I cannot recall what it is called. I don't have any in the house so I cannot look for it. I get really sleepy on the no doze so I don't take it too often. Another thing thst could be causing the distress could be an ear ache. I use to get those all the time as a child too.

My babies did the same thing...and we had to travel 4 hrs. one time - we were about to lose it after that trip!!! I noticed once we turned the car seat around facing frontward they were fine! So I think either they got carsick or didn't like looking at nothing (but the seat) Unfortunately you are supposed to wait till they reach 20# or a year old to turn them around ---I however did it a little earlier than this - and we were all happy!
Hang in there!

You are not alone. Both of my kids didn't like being in the car very much. It was a pain when we had to travel to visit family which was a three hour drive! About half way through or even sooner they had had enough and they would cry until they fell asleep!!
What helped a little bit was finding some calming music to listen to. For both of my kids it was piano music. Even certain songs other than piano music would quiet them. We would play them over and over and even though we would get sick of the song at least we didn't have to listen to crying and more crying!! I felt sorry for my daughter when my son was younger and she would have to listen to him crying right next to her!
Now that they can both face forward it is alot better. But even now my son still gets bored but as long as I have toys and snacks for the longer rides it helps. What also helps them when they are older is a DVD player so they can watch maybe a favorite show or movie. We bought a portable one for our car but then we bought a van that already had a DVD player in it. I am sure it will get better but some kids just don't like being in the car for long periods.
It is hard for them, especially when they are that little yet because it is boring in the car and they have to face backwards and can't see anything. I am sure it will get better when they can finally face forward and can see you and you can talk to them.

My first thought is that maybe you are buckling her in too tight and she's not comfortable. Shortly after my daugther was born in October 2006, Oprah had this woman on that could apparantly understand baby talk...and she had 5 main sounds that she identified as baby talk. I can't recall them all...but basically the sound of Neh meant the baby was hungry...and there were 4 others. Turns out 1 of the mothers had a child that always cried in the car seat...this lady was able to tell by the sound the baby was making that he was uncomfrotable...turns out the mother was buckling the child in too tightly and that's what was causing his crying. She adjusted the straps and car rides were ok after that. Just a thought. :-)

My daughter was the same way. But what we found out was that it wasn't the car she hated, it was facing backwards. I know that is not much consolation because she will be facing backwards for quite some time, but once our daughter was old enough and big enough to face forward, she was fine. I don't know if it is a motion sickness kind of thing, but I know that as an adult, I cannot ride backwards (like on a train or subway) it makes me queasy.

You say you don't think it's the carseat? When the seat is on the floor or otherwise not strapped into the base or seat it has a different recline. When the seat is installed your baby is probably uncomfortable laying back so much in the moving car. My daughter was the same way so at 4 months we switched her to a convertable carseat. They are much more upright then the infant seats. My daughter had reflux so this really helped her. Many convertable seats fit newborns. Send me a personal message if you need a recommendation on one.

Also I want to clear up a few safety no-no's regarding others response.

1. It is highly unlikely that the straps are too tight. I have never seen anyone do this it's usually the opposite. They should be as snug as a huge with little to no slack.

2. Rear facing is the safest so keep your child rear facing till the limits of the seat. My daughter was over 2 before we switched to forward facing.

3. It is not safe to put anything,such as a blanket under your child in the carseat. If it didn't come with the seat don't use it.

Good luck and I'm sure this to shall pass!

How do you feel about Chiropractors? I know this may sound strange, but I have a couple of friends whose babies actually needed Chiropractic adjustments. The chiro said sometimes things happen at birth that cause them to have trouble with their backs or necks. Once my friend started her daughter getting adjustments, she no longer cried in the car. It only took a few times at the chiro (I'm not exactly sure the number of times). They go to Dr. Kirkland in Mooresville.

My daughter was the same way....until we turned her around at a year. I really think she was car sick. LUCKILY we would sit with her when we were both in the car and or her pacifier did the job most times. We also put in KID music. From a young age she loved music....i wish you all the best and if you stay calm it does help. Also I did the pulling over etc, to calm her, in reality that only lengthens your car ride and makes it worse, I think. I also, come to think of it, would make sure she could feel my hand on her, yeah VERY uncomfortable but as mothers we do what we gotta do,lol!!

Hi L.,

My nephew did the same thing when he was a baby. They eventually found out he had motion sickness. May be worth checking into. They put his carseat in the middle of the seat which helped a little. Wishing you all the luck.

My son hated the car! Cried all the time! Sounds just like your daughter. Cone we were able to turn him around (at 1 year) he got better. There's nothing wrong with her. It's normal. Just a pain in the neck. The bright side: you never have to try to molve a sleeping baby from the car! BTW: my son is 9 now and we can take 12 hour car trips without a DVD or video game and he does better than I do!

My daughter did this when she was 1-2 as we traveled 3-4 hours to family out of town. She would fall asleep and then after the nap would scream and cry for an hour straight. Yes, I was in the back seat also. You could play some soothing or kid friendly music. Do you have a portable DVD player ,she could watch a video. As she gets older you could have books,and traveling activities for her. It does subside, it is just a stage she is in.

J. R.

Just a thought... she may get car sick. One of my twins sometimes gets car sick, and he cries and fusses, and nothing will calm him. I didn't figure it out until we took a longer ride in the car - and he had enough time in the car to start vomiting.. then he did it on the way home too. The light bulb in my head finally lit up! He doesn't usually cry during short trips, but it does seem like anything more than 15 or 20 min and he will start fussing, then crying. Just an idea.

Know that you are not alone! My daughter used to cry every time we were in the car. Like you I thought the car should calm her down. It started when we brought her home from the hospital, she cried the entire trip! She was what I call a velcro baby and if she wasn't in my arms she was unhappy and unfortunately this included the car. I never found anything that helped except occasionally if my husband was driving if I held her hand. We were unable to go to Philadelphia to see my parents at Christmas because of this behavior. She is 6 1/2 months now and although we never go to far she has been better in the car (started right after Christmas). We are attempting a drive to Cincinnati and the aquarium today so this will be a test for her. Sorry I don't have any other suggestions for you. Just hang in there!

Try covering the seat with a dark blanket so the light doesn't get to her?

I wish I had something to say that would help. All I can really say is that I feel your pain! My youngest did the same thing but eventually grew out of it. It was pretty sudden! She cried as if she'd die one day and didn't the next. I tried playing her music in the car pretty loud and that sort of helped. I hope it stops soon for you!

Im sorry, remind me, what is the cio method? cry it out? You can only take so much of that while driving.

I wonder if she is having some reflux when you put her in the carseat. It does push their little bellies up a little and does make gastric acid reflux worse! If she is, shes getting that acid up into her throat and its not a fun thing.

Sometimes too L., the car ride may feel so different to her that being so young, she just needs to get used to it? Let us know.