Poor kids.
Yep. My husband.
And THANK YOU for calling him out on it. If family won't, no one will. His wife could be just like him, or she could be talking herself blue in the face trying to get him to realize that he needs to actually *take care of* the children when they're with him. That watching them doesn't mean just LOOKING AT them, but looking AFTER them.
I know, not only at home, but out at parties/ get togethers/ etc I tried to do what so many of our friends do, and "trade" who's "on". If I actually want my son fed and looked after, I finally had to just always be the one who is "on".
I cannot tell you how FRUSTRATING it is to always be the one "on", and the other person just getting a "pass" from family. "Oh... don't worry about it / It's okay, we all get busy/ I've got this/ Where's your wife... It's fine/ alright/ okay/ no biggie" or to just keep talking.... AAAAAAaaaarrrrrrgh!
It's just more and more and more positive reinforcement for being totally neglectful. Subliminal and overt. I cannot tell you how many times I've actually been told "Well no one ELSE thinks I blah, blah, blah."
Dude. That's because we're at a party, and people are trying to be polite. AND because by now they all know I'm going to be there taking care of things the moment I become aware of them.
THANK YOU for saying something.
Big, big, big, HUGE hugs!!!
THANK YOU thank you THANK YOU thank you THANK YOU!!!!!