My Child Getting Bullied at School.

You need to get in touch with the school administration office...they can and will light a fire under the principals butt! This is not an issue that should be pushed to the backburner, or take too long to resolve. It is a serious thing! Not that your son would do this, but it has been proven and documented that kids who are bullied severely have been the ones in recent news reports to bring guns to school and go on a shooting rampage! They do this to get the attention of the adult school leadrers whom they have been asking for help, and to retaliate against their bulliers. Bullying is a very serious situation...no one should ever tell you that you are over reacting...especially when your son is a teenager and more prone to emotional damage, and big enough to do physical damage! (As opposed to a 3rd grader being bullied.) Definately call the school administration office. Their number is public record, and should be in the phone book, if you have a hard time finding it, call information or ask the school office to supply it to you-it's your right as a parent. If the school refuses to do anything about it, you actually CAN file a police report against this other kid. I had a friend of mine do that for her daughter. My oldest daughter is 14, and thank god she has'nt experienced this, and i hope she never has to, but i do understand the dynamics of teenagers and know how stupid, selfish, and petty some of them can be over little things. I wish you luck, and i hope my advice helps!

Hi T.,
I am sorry to hear about what you and your family is going though. It is tough but here is something...Did you know it is a against Federal Law to Bully? Take a look at this site: http://pathwayscourses.samhsa.gov/bully/bully_7_pg3.htm It has some info. I would go into the school and threaten to sue if nothing is done about this issue. I would read as much as you can about these new laws so you will know what you are talking about. You can even print out some of it and take it to the school and tell them they need to brush up on new laws or you will help them. It is simple. I am sure they think you don't know about these laws but now you do. Write down everything too. Like when you have to go to the school. When your son comes home and has been bullied. What is said on the phone. The dates and details. This will stand up in court. Good luck.
K.

My heart breaks for you and your son, I was bullied at school so much that it cause all kinds of health problems and I still have them to this day. I would take him out of that school and Homeschool him, there are alot of programs now that you can be involved with so that he is still involved with social activities. If you don't want to do that I would keep a journal of when he is being bullied and when and who you talk to at the school. That way when you go to the police the next time you have doccumentation. Haven't we seen enough violence from kids that are tired of being bullied. Someone should listen when this is being addressed, before it comes to a blow, whether it be your son or someone else that these boys have been tourmenting. I hope you can get a hadnle on it soon. We are all here if you need to vent.

T.,

I understand your situation because the same thing happened to my brother (who is 17 years old now). we moved to fort wayne when my brother was in 2nd grade and that is when the bullying started. my mother, as well as you are doing, also went to the school - talked to the principal, teachers, counselors and nothing was done. these people started to tell my mom that my brother was the one to blame and that he needed counseling. my mom did take him, but the counselor said that nothing was wrong with him, he did not have a mental health issue. my mother has considered home schooling and changing from schools. my brother did not want to change school. he is 17 years old now and he has learned to have a very strong personality and he even looks mean so that kids can be scared of him and not mess with him, but T., you should see him at home and he is the sweetest kid who really cares about people. my brother doesnt really have close friends and he still struggles with fitting in and making friends. my mother has a really good relationship with my brother and when he had a bad day at school, he knows he can go and talk to her. I advice you the same thing, continue to have a good talking relationship with him so that he doesnt feel alone. i think it is really sad how kids bully other kids. i strongly believe that we need to talk to our children about other peoples feelings and that picking on or bullying is not right!

T., I truly feel your pain. I went through this exact thing with my youngest son.( he's now 23 yrs old} These school's need to address these problems, but unfortunately don't, my son litterly left the state and returned to our home state to graduate.He had been bullied from middle school on to high. When it finally came to blow, one of the boy's came up behind him and sucker punched him, my son had had enough, and that boy didn't come out the winner! I never encouraged my son's to ever fight, especially on school property. I always told them if you can walk away to always do so. The bigger man walks away. I was called into the school,as I walked in paper & pen was shoved in my face and I was told to sign the paper. NO WAY... we have to talk I said,I was given this big speech by the asst. principal on what my son had done. I politely let him Finnish, then looked my son right into his eye's and said, son you tell me what happened ( I knew this had been an ongoing problem), and I told him to tell me the truth (something I believe parent's should always instill, and be with their children), and you know I will believe you. He had to trust me without any doubt. He told me what the other boy had done and he was defending himself... this is our God given right.(my belief} I said ok, we can leave now, after I asked if the other boy was suspended also. When my son & I got into the car he asked if he was in trouble, I lovingly said you know you shouldn't fight if you can help it, but NO, you didn't start it, you had been trying to prevent it all this time, you just can't go out during school hours. When your children know for a fact you will believe them(they must earn that trust though) they will always know in their hearts that you are on their side. Be sure to let your children know that "The Creator" of all people loves them even More then they could ever imagine, even more than we can as parent's.
T., this may not be the answer to your problem, but I will surely pray for you and your children. When all else fails... Pray to God. In His love, E P.S feel free to respond... God Bless

T.
What ever you do, don't give up. You son deserves better then that at school. Keep on the principle, administration and maybe even the school board if things don't change. I wouldn't hesitate to go to the police and file a report on the bully. Do what ever it takes to help your son!

It's great that your talking about this, I can feel your frustration. One of the things that I learned from my son and his current high school , is that life is not fair. No, I did not just learn this, but was able to help him as he realized this. When bullying came up, he was not treated fairly either. I found an advocate at school, in the form of the guidance counselor and it gave my son a place to go to. When the s*it hit the fan with other kids provoking him, he immediatly left the situation and went to the guidance counselors office, this gave him a safe place, and gave him a place to go to , to let off steam and his own frustration. Basically it was a healthy alternative to the problem at hand.
Now if my son did not choose this healthy alternative, and reacted, he had consequences. And that was between him and the school.There is a line between protecting my kid and allowing him to learn. My son is now 17 and has had some consequences and some great opportunities for growth. I have also learned that I always do not know best . You mentioend that the father has been gone for 4 years, those ages 11-15 without a dad, when my son went thru those times my brother stepped in on a regular basis to spend time with him, a healthy male model has been invaluable to his growth as well. I realized that when I felt like I couldn't take single parenting one more day that I had to reach to others and ask for help and not be judgemental as to who offered, to take the help and show my son that we can ask for help and we can get it. And what he has seen is that people then call us , and we can help them too. It widens our world, so school does not seem like all there is. I told my son that school will not last forever and that he could get thru this, I gave him focus outside of school, A part time job gave him a real sense of accomplishment as well.

I'm sorry to hear about what you and son are going through. I don't know if what I'm going to say will be of any help, but I can tell you what I would do. I would remove my son from that school altogether and put him into a different school. If money allows, I would suggest a private, Christian school. And above any other advice I could give you, if you aren't already doing so, I would find a good church and start attending with your son. PRAY together about the issues each of you are dealing with as well. Removing him from them would be the first step, but going to church will also help him to deal with the absence of his father.

I don't know if it is possible to send him to a different school. If you can maybe you could look into it for next year. I wouldn't want my child to have to go though that much extra stress at school. School is hard enough these days. Also maybe a school counseler could help? I hope your son makes it to the end of the school year(it is so close). Good Luck

ii know you've had a ton on responses but I'd call channel 6 news!! Let them know how long this has been going on and that the school has done nothing about it... That will make them!!! They don't even have to tell your son's name or anything!

As a mother myself I'd be outraged it the school did nothing! Enough is enough..

And we wonder why we have school violence!! You just keep talking!! They are going to have to listen sooner or later. Go to the police if you feel that strongly about it. Explain what has been happening and tell them the school refuses to even listen to you about this. That is what I would do.

thats a tricky one. i got picked on alot in school too at one school in particular... i ended up switching schools to get away from those select students....good luck

You can file a complaint with the police. They will look in to it. Does your son have at least one friend who can back him up? Every time something happens, you go to the police - even if he isn't caught being physically abusive, things can be done about the harrassment.
Good Luck:)

I understand where you are coming from. My son is 10 yrs old and gets picked on all the time. The kids make fun of him cause he is over-weight. When he trys to defend himself he gets in trouble cause the teachers never see the other kids doing anything its always what they see my son doing. He comes home crying and says that he hit them cause they were making fun of him or calling him bad names. My son sees a Therapist for his anger. He also takes ADHD meds. His father is somewhat involved in his life but not really. I'm a single mother of 3 children ages 10, 2 1/2, and 6 weeks. I tell him all the time to tell the teachers that he is being picked on but sometimes i think the teachers just see what they want to see. I also think that if we as parents dont stand up for our children then who will. I believe my child over those teachers. If those people at the school wont listen to you then maybe it would be a good idea to take your child out and put him in another school or possibly home-school. He needs to be able to get a education without being stressed out all the time. Also, if the school wont listen, you could try taking your child to a therapist like i do and maybe after talking to your child the therapist could call the school and talk to them about the situation, it helped quite a bit in my child's situation cause now the teachers know that the kids are really making fun of my son and he isnt just making it up. Hope this helps.

Don't give up! My mom has been threatened to be kicked out of the school many times when she was trying to stick up for me. She told them she was not leaving until the problem was resolved. There are so many kids at each school that the administration could care less about them as individuals. You have to keep sticking up for your son because no one else is going to!

Sorry to hear about your sons problem. My daughter is 7 and in the first frade. She has had problems with girls in her class pushing her around since she started school. She is very soft spoken and just let them for the longest time. I enrolled her in a karate/ martial arts course and it has worked wonders! She has confidence as well as the ability to handle the problem if it arises. I am a firm believer that fighting is not the answer if it can be avoided, but if it cannot, she can protect herself. The responses I got from her teachers were simply that the little girls were jealous of her b/c the boys wanted to sit by her!!! Kids can be soooooo mean and cruel!

Hi T.!
I am so sorry to hear about your son's problem. I can't believe that the school would actually tell you that you only have 5minutes to speak. If you don't mind my asking what school does he go to? If he is still having problems with this kid then the school hasn't done anything! And that is exactly what I'd tell them. My advice to you is see if there is anything else you can do legally and/or switch his schools. I asked what school because my neighbor's child goes to Iroquois Middle and had been in 13 fights(last year). She had tried to get a hardship transfer several times and got rejected everytime. Don't give up just get mad!

All of the other moms have given some great advice. My 9 year old went through something simmilar last year, Things have improved since I had her put into A sepperate class away from the bully, anyway it was suggested to me that if things did not improve that mabey I should call child protective services.I hope this helps and you and your family are in my prayers.

if ur having issues at the school call the superintendant of schools because it sounds like the principal is not doing their job.

J.

I know what your going through i have hadthis problem at my sons school for awhile i have had the same boys bullying my son since kindergarden and now he's at his witts end i have too take him too counsiling and hes on meds so he can control his temper and i still get calls 3 times aweek and they send him home and all these years they have put the boys in the same class it has been worse this year now when im at home and the phone rings i get instantly stressed out thinking its the school they say there going too make sure these boys aren't in his class next year but we will see!i think the only reason this has happened is because the phychiatrist said (ya can't spell) he told the school cousler maybe if they tried too remove the kid from my sons classroom maybe my son could have the chance too not get angry and get an education,also he told me if the problem wasn't fixed and things got worse and my son needed in patient care that i might want too get a lawyer and have the school pay since they were neglagent and didn't rectify the problem! My docter said if the problem was rectified my son should grow out of the anger if not things could get worse! What bothers me the most is what are these parents teaching or doing to their kids at home? Anyways good luck with the school you r going too need it!

I am sorry to hear about all of your trouble with the school! I would document everything!!!!!!! Every phone call time and who you spoke with, every meeting, every thing. They will get nervious if they see that you are recording everything. I would call the police again and document them refusing to step in. I would also call the school police department if they have one. Maybe even a few local news stations. This is a big issue in our schools today and this is why! No one wants to deal with the issue. Until ofcouse something happens and it is to late. Don't give up. Make sure they know your voice and know that you are not going to just go away. You may also try the school board....they are the big boss! You are fighting for all of the right reasons.
Good luck and God Speed
B.