My Child Is About to See a Pediatrician About ADHD...HELP!!!!

You bet!!! I have a lot to say on the subject of drugging the next generation of Americans. Let me first tell you what we are doing to these kids, then I will explain an alternative approach.

First, giving these children pills for their ADHD does not fix the problem. They will be on pills the rest of their life. Pharmaceutical companies do not come up with anything to "fix" the problem. Their goal is to make money and continue the problem. Second, even though your child sits and listens on the drugs, the brain is not absorbing the information for later use. We are turning our children into mediocre intelligent drugged zombies. I will probably get a lot of hate letters from parents reading this that have taken this route, but don't take it personally. You have not been told that there is an alternative, and you have done the best you can under the circumstances. Please don't take it out on me, telling me how much better you child is doing in school on drugs. Remember, that is short-term behavior, not long-term mental development.

Now for an alternative explanation of ADHD, and basically all disease processes. We are supposed to start life with a colony of good bacteria in our intestines. These bacteria fight the bad guys--viruses, yeasts, and other bacteria. Instead, because of the last 50 years of antibiotic use and failure to replace the good bacteria, we are all deficient in the good bacteria. Babies get the good bacteria from their mothers during the passage through the birth canal. If the mother is deficient, or if the baby is c-section (25% of our births today), the baby is born without the good bacteria. So the bad guys take up housekeeping in the baby's intestines and everywhere else in the body. Then we add sugar which feeds the bad guys. We also add toxins to the body through processed foods, starting with formula. Toxins have actually started building up in the baby's body through the bad foods the mother eats during pregnancy. Toxins overwhelm the organs of detox--the liver and the kidneys. The toxins along with acidity then help to create the "anxiety" in the body that leads to hyperactivity.

Sugar is a big culprit in this situation. It feeds the bad organisms as explained above, and it wrecks havoc with the pancreas and the regulation of blood sugar. The child has blood sugar highs, and then when the blood sugar drops, has a craving to eat more sugar. All this creates stress in the body which creates anxiety which leads to hyperactivity.

Thirdly, our children are not getting the omega 3's in their diets anymore. Back before the 60's, parents made their children drink cod liver oil. Nasty, but healthy. Then, (I think when mothers joined the workforce and no longer had time to be a mother) they stopped giving cod liver oil. Or it could be the fault of the pediatricians not knowing nutrition, and not recommending it. Sometime in the 70's we stopped learning from our parents about health, and depended on the physician who has no knowledge about health at all. But our bodies need omega 3's for the brain to develop. These omega 3's are only found in a few foods, fish oil being one of the main ones for the 20-carbon chains that the body needs to develop the insulating fat around a nerve called the myelin sheath. And don't think that the whole flax seeds in commercial cereals is giving you that. It is a marketing strategy for the company to make money, but you get no benefit. Whole flax seeds are not digested well enough to get the omega 3's from them.

So now for the solution, if you are up to it. For your health as well as the future of your child, I hope so.

Diet and lifestyle are the mainstay of health. The diet needs to be alkaline, not acidic. Acidity creates stress in the body, which leads to all disease processes, including ADHD and other forms of anxiety. Anxiety because the body knows it is being eaten alive by the acid load. The worst acidic foods are: soft drinks, caffeinated drinks, sugar, simple carbs (grains like wheat, rice), MILK, beef and pork. Yes, I said milk. Milk is not healthy for any of us. We are told to drink milk by our government because they subsidize the dairy industry and the dairy industry lobbies. If you don't believe me, read the book THE CHINA STUDY. You can get this book from me. Alkaline foods are vegetables and most fruits (except oranges and grapefruits).

Then the good bacteria need to be replaced. This is done with HMF (Human Microflora), a specific brand of lactobacillus. The lactobacillus you find in stores and foods are cow-form--great for calves, but will not colonize a human.

Toxins then need to be removed from the body. This is done with specific remedies. For ADHD the nervous system needs drainage of toxins.

And then the body needs a good quality pharmaceutical grade fish oil with high DHA concentration.

So to summarize, the steps to get rid of the ADHD are:

1. Alkaline diet by eating vegetables and fruits and getting rid of the foods listed above.
2. HMF
3. Detoxifying remedies
4. Fish oil.

With adherence to this regimen, ADHD is usually cured in 6 months.

One additional thing. Stress causes acidity. So the child's environment needs to not be stressful. Bad home environments leads to chronic diseases such as fibromyalgia. Even the push we are doing with our children today with multiple extracurricular activities can be stressful. Simplify his daily activities, and don't demand a lot of extracurricular stuff.

Hope this helps explain things. You can learn more or find the products I've mentioned on my web site, www.sevenpillarstotalhealth.com

L. Cheek, MD
28 Town Center Drive
Dublin, VA 24084

I had the same problems with day care/preschool. My son, now 16, was never officially diagnosed with ADHD, but if I had a nickel for every time I heard it... My son was kicked out of Sunday School at age 4 and told not to come back!
We took him to a child psychiatrist at age 4.5. He suggested Karate lessons and LOTS of discipline and structure at home. We did both. Lots of praise for good behavior - instant time out for naughty.
He LOVED karate and eventually got his black belt at age 11.
My son is now a bright, funny, absolutely perfectly behaved (most of the time) 16 year old who gets straight A's in school. His teachers all love him.
So - don't give up yet!
Try the karate and tons of structure.
YMMV
LBC

My daughter is ADHD and was prescribed Ritalin, which caused high pressure in her eyes. Fortunately she wore glasses and on Opthamologist did a pressure check. It is not usual to bother to do this with a child. He did them on everyone. Thank goodness he did. She has grown into the pressure but she is now 33. We took her off the medication. I found that the smallest piece of sugar caused her to go into melt down. I heard a lot of nonsense about sugar not having any effect. I know from experience that it has a profound effect. I read a report from the University of Kentucky that stated it had no effect. But they gave the children a sugar drink every other day. The whole test was flawed, as I know it takes two to three days for the effects of the sugar to leave the system. I have no scientific background but I suffered many years with an ADHD child. There are support groups around who can help you, but you have a long haul ahead. I hope your husband can get over his denial. It is just one of those things and not a lot you can do about it. It is exacerbated by the diet our children follow. It is sweet orientated and full of hormones. It is a lot easier now than when I was raising my daughter at least there are plenty of things that children can have and not feel left out.

Good luck, my daughter was the sweetest child when she was sugar free, and a demon when she wasn't. Enjoy the sweet times.

Wow! It sounds like you are really having a tough time. Have you taken your child to see a therapist? It is wrong for your daycare providers to tell you that your child has ADHD. ADHD shold be diagnosed by someone with a Mental Health Background... And, for the record, it is rare for clinicians to diagnose a child under the age of 6 with ADHD. And, the medications are not approved for use in children under six. Of course, there are extreme cases. I would recommend taking your son to see a counselor. A counselor can help you learn effective ways to deal with your son's behavior--without medication.

Many people think that they need to take their child to a psychiatrist. However, psychiatrists often only prescribe medication, and do little to address the problem. Sometimes medication can be helpful in helping the child understand what "normal" feels like. Additionally, sometimes, when a child is placed on medication, it makes it easier to teach them tools and techniques to improve their behavior...which will eliminate the need for medication.

Many people have had success with the Feingold Diet. This diet eliminates the use of artificial colors, flavors and sweeteners. Dyes that are put into are food are made from Pertroleum. Many people react poorly to these nasty additives. You can read more about the diet at www.feingold.org.

You may want to contact the school that your son will be attending next year and let them know some of the difficulties you have been having. They may have a school counselor available over the summer months who can assist you in developing a plan for school. However, I would still try to find a counselor or social worker in your area that can help you. Good luck! (And, if you need/want more information, feel free to contact me!) Traci

Hi there,
I may be way off, but I'll tell you what I know since you sound like a friend of mine. Her son went through the same thing and got kicked out of 2 daycares. He sounded like such a little devil when she spoke of him. She sought the help of a child psychologist who basically made her consistently encourage him with positive reinforcement even for the smallest good things and negative reinforcement when he did something bad. However, I can't remember what she did for that. I kinda think it was more on an ignoring thing rather than actual punishment of any kind.
I mean, even if he picked up one toy and put it away or just said something nice--she absolutely praised him for it. It was an amazing transformation because he did start school and is doing incredibly well.
So...perhaps you might try the pshychologist route--it beat the medicine route--has he truly been diagnosed with ADHD?
Hope that helps.

You have some great advice... esp. from the MD talking about the book The China Study. I've read it, and it is enlightening and life-changing. Here are my 2 cents:

Don't fall prey to the quick fix of drugging your child. I believe diet is everything. Whatever you put into your body has an effect, positive or negative. Also check out the Feingold diet (www.feingold.org), which eliminates all artificial colors, flavors and preservatives from the diet. This had a profound effect on my neighbor's children. Best of luck... work hard at researching this and you will find something that will work for your son without drugging him.

You might not want to hear this, but there are a few people who have opted to homeschool and it has been an absolute blessing. My own son wasn't diagnosed until he was 9, and he didn't have the hyperactivity, so I can imagine what you deal with. But, if that's not an option to you, try making sure your little guy gets lots of activity time beyond daycare--like soccer, rock climbing, t-ball and golf. Then, lots of hands-on crafts. Bake with him and--yeah, I know it's exhausting, but you will enjoy him so much more. He's really probably a very smart child who is out of control with so much structure and rules to follow. You might have to also build a rewards chart. Like, if you can go five days without kicking, we take a trip to the park. Or, if you can earn 10 stars, you earn a visit to the Dollar Store. Or, whatever are his favorite activities. Keep the chart in a place that he sees everyday so he can understand his goal when he leaves the house. At 3 1/2, my daughter understood that, so I'm sure your little guy can, too. We opted not to use meds, either. I know some people who chose meds and saw no change in behavior/impulse control. I'm reading book now "Spark" that shows exercise is one of the best ways to help brains fire properly to control impulsiveness. Also, check his diet. Too much sugar, fat and processed foods can add to that hyperactivity. You'd be surprised at how much sugar is in our foods. I just spoke to another mom about that yesterday who has her child on a gluten free-casein free diet. She reported that more vegetables, less fruit and no condiments has helped her child considerably with processing and behavior. And, by all means, love your family. Your husband turned out fine, and yes, he will be in denial for a while. But, the more consistent you are, the more you both communicate, and the more you just love your little boy, you'll find it's really a gift he has. At least you know he won't be a lazy person, though he might be a bit scattered sometimes.

Hi N.,

I don't have any firsthand experience with this but my very close friend has a son who was diagnosed with ADHD. She struggled with the medication issue as well. She ultimately decided to give him medication during school. Her son thanks her everyday for her decision. it helps him in soccer, in school and to basically function in life. She, as far as i know, doesn't give him medication during the summer. She has accepted that her son has ADHD and she will have to extra patience during the months that he is not on medication. I hope this helps.

Hi, N. - Please first let me say good luck to you, and remember - you are not alone. My oldest has ODD, so I know the pain of dealing with a difficult child! I am not an expert on ADHD, but I do know lots of moms who have seen improvements in their child's behavior, once they have removed all the chemicals from the home. Google ADHA + household chemicals and saferforyourhome.com for more info. I hope this helps! Good luck! N.

My sons are ADD. I don't want to medicate them either. My brother-in-law who owns a wellness center in GA recommended natural alternatives which we have been doing since Jan. I would suggest Fish oil & Pedi-Active. You can get the fish oil anywhere. They have good choices for kids in Vitaminn Shoppe. That is also where I buy the Pedi-Active. Check it out on-line to get more info. We are happy with the results. Good Luck!

I agree wholeheartedly with Vera, don't rely only on the pediatrician.

I would get all the information you can and then make your decision. Medicine may not be necessary, or it may only be necessary to get the symptoms under contol to the point that other techniques can be tried.

It shouldn't be about you feeling overwealmed during the day OR about your husband's flat refusal. Get lots of opinions and then form a plan of what to try focusing on your son's unique symptoms and triggers. A therapist will be good at making a formal plan.

Personally, I am very anti-mediacation - I feel it is given way too easily to ease parents' concerns and not in the best interest of the child. BUT, there are things about brain chemistry that can in fact be helped. You just need ot make sure that is the reason for the perscription and not just "trial and error."

Consider diet - improved diet is crucial!! A nutritionist or the pediatircian my be good in this area.

I know it's scary, but try to look at it as the start of an improvement - whether or not it is ADHD, the attention that your son will now get for the sysmptoms will help all of you.

I don't have children with ADHD, but I've learned alot about issues in child and adolescent psychitary from an old colleague in the industry. There is a shortage of child psychiatrists and psychologists nationwide, which is why so many kids are being diagnosed and treated by their regular pediatricians. This is not OK. Pediatricians do not have all the knowledge to properly evaluate a child and many kids are being overmedicated as a result. Insist on a professional opinion from a child psychiatrist before allowing a regular physician to medicate your child. Good luck.

I am a teacher and a parent of an ADHD child. We got custody when he turned 8 due to his mother's bad judgement. Anyway, my husband and his family kept saying I was a typical teacher who just wants children medicated. I am a firm believer if you try everything you can and there is no improvement you have no choice. At the age of 10 I was in tears almost every night. He was being disrespectful in school, lying to his teacher saying he could not do his homework because I was to busy shopping (I hate shopping but his mother loves to shop but he never sees her. Court ordered.), etc. His grades dropped from A's and B's to D's and E's. I told my husband since I am the one who is taking care of him the majority of the time I should have a say in what happens. Bottom line, We put him on Concerta and WOW what a difference. He is respectful, does his homework, and even helps around the house now. As a teacher, I know parents are scared to put their children on medication due to side effects and horror stories. I can say as both teacher and parent that these horror stories and side effects typically happen when the child is not on the right dose or medication. There are so many different kinds of ADHD meds on the market and the doctor will find the right one but the teachers and parents have to work together to help the doctor determine what is best for the child. If is in a zombie like state, something is wrong and get your child to the doctor right away. Just means he is either on the wrong dose or meds. At my school we want all children to be successful. ADHD children can be successful they just need help to get there. Every child can be successful just in different ways and with different help. I wish parents would not listen to the stories or statistics of medication. I do not promote meds but as I mentioned earlier if you have tried everything else then that is the only alternative. After seeing the huge transformation in my step son, I will always recommend parents seek a doctors advice. OH and a child can be weened off this medication. They do not be come addicted to it either. I know adults still on it so they can function in their jobs and adults who have taken themselves off the medication because they know how to control the problems. I could go on and on and I really do have a lot to say on this topic but we would be here all day. Our doctor is wonderful in explaining everything to me and step son. My step son said taking medication makes him stupid. The doctor addressed this issue and the fact that he takes the same medication. My step son no longer has a negative outlook on taking the meds. I better stop as I can get on a roll. If you have any other questions, just ask. Best Wishes and Good Luck!!!

hi! i have a kindergarten age son recently diagnosed with adhd. some kids need medication, others can be managed with other techniques. that is up to you and your dr. we tried everythign with our son for years b/f getting a formal diagnosis and starting meds. it took several different ones but we finally are seeing some improvement! he is much calmer and his handwriting improved about 100%! I suggest if you do want to pursue this you see a specialist. we have seen our ped, a psychologist for an eeg, and a psychiatrist who is currently doing our meds. we love our ped and he is the best but the psych is the expert!

good luck. try 1-2-3 magic and send him to his room before you get angry when he is breaking rules. the more proactive you can be discipline wise in my opinion the happier your house will be!

we also do omega 3 fish oils and ther listening as other treatments..

J.

You have received a lot of good advice. I would try the natural alternatives. It isn't easy: getting rid of food with additives, cutting way back on sugar. But it may help. If, in the end, it's not helping, go to the doctor. You must be exhausted. *HUGS*

Hi N.,
I went through (and still am) what you are dealing with. My son is now 9 and in the 4th grade. I changed pre-schools a couple of time but teachers didn't use the ADHD label until he started first grade. I was convinced they were dead wrong. My son is highly intelligent and I always figured that he was bored. Asking a busy, smart six year to still in one desk for six hours is a recipe for disaster I told myself. I tried sticker charts and other rewards through that year. Well, my son continued to have issues and as time went by, he became depressed because he knew he was different.
Second grade was even worse - he couldn't get any work done (though I knew it was easy for him) and his depression deepened. I finally took him to a psychologist at JHU CTY for testing. She diagnosed him with ADHD AND Giftedness. She recommended medicine but my husband and I were against it. We got through the year using behavior techniques. When third grade started, we decided to put him on a 504 plan through the school so that special accommodations would be available to my son. This helped but still he struggled and under-performed on his work. So, in fourth grade, we decided to try medicine. I was scared to death of the side effects. I took him to our pediatrician who prescribed Adderall XR. This was a wonder drug for about 3 months. Then, he began to have neck pain/spasms. We tried Concerta for a week. He developed gastritis. We took him off all meds for a month and consulted with a child psychiatrist who suggested Strattera- a less effective drug but maybe more tolerable. So far, my son has been on Strattera for two weeks and we have seen some positive effects. No serious side effects so far.
For you N., I would highly suggest that you see a child psychiatrist (NOT a pediatrician) for consult. I can recommend Dr. Kevin Harrison in Ellicott City. He has really been understanding and helpful.
Also, you should visit the CHADD website. Lots of good info there. Don't feel ashamed or be worried about ADHD. Your son is probably very intelligent as well, and that's a gift. There is a time and place to try medicine, it can change a child's life for the better. You are not a bad parent if you decide to try medication.
I wish you luck on this journey!
P.S. We also tried diet changes, sport activities and vitamin supplements. These were helpful too but were not enough.

N.,
My heart goes out to you and I will be praying for you. As parents we often find it easier to blame ourselves. Stay proactive and don't be discouraged.

You mention family and friends, but I wonder what your pediatrician thinks. You said you don't want to medicate your son, but have you seen a specialist?

My short term response to your quest for answers in how to deal with your son's behavior "issues" encourages you and your husband to focus your energies on what you do have control over? Specifically, there are two environmental areas that you can begin with. First, what is in your kitchen? What types of food do you feed your son? If your pantry and fridge filled with foods high in sugar that have artificial flavors (red dye #6 etc) that should be one of the first things you change (fruit roll ups, go-gurt, kool-aid, soda, even some wheat products, etc). Foods high in sugar are also terrible for a child who is already a bit "overly energetic" Go on-line to www.focusonthefamily.org There is a great section on ADHD and lots of helpful resources.

Second, what child centered electronic devices do you have in your house? How much time is your son exposed to electronics each day (tv, nintendo ds, game boy, wii, playstation, etc)? Your child should be engaging in activities that require him to focus. In order to avoid making this seem like a punishment, we used words that made our kids think that we wanted to spend more time with them and how fun things were. Consider that all those images constantly shifting and changing are not good for kids, especially if a child is stuggling with ADHD. I know that sounds challenging when he can't be still, however, try to engage him in activities that make him concentrate (ides can be found on the website). Try a game that requires you to interact with him. Building blocks, legos, etc. It is okay if it is just for minutes. The time will get longer. These strategies have been quite effective in my home. Finally, seeking answers from a doctor gives you options for helping your son. I encourage you to get recommendations from your friends and pediatrician to a good specialist.

OMG - N. I lost everything I wrote.....
here it goes again:
First and foremost ask your husband it he would treat your son if he was diagnosed with diabetes? a thyroid problem? acid reflux? ADHD is a medical condition that requires treatment...it has very little to do with diet. It is a problem with the frontal lobes of the brain and how they are "wired". We also were very hesitant to medicate but when you see your child failing in school when you know they know the material and you see him failing to make friends because his peers find him "annoying" trust me you will feel differently about the medicine. IS the medicine a cure all - NO it does require alot of patience and organizing and routine on the parents part as well....I have all kinds of ideas and suggestions and short cuts that have worked for us I would be glad to share them with you. I sent you an email with my email address - please contact me any time. Your story sounds just like mine 3 years ago...my husband was against it too as I was, but I researched online and found alot of information and I confronted my husband and told him to base his opinion on facts and research and not on public opinion...tell your husband the same - it will get his attention. Yes, there side effects to the medication BUT there are side effects to all medications. Finding the right meds is a PROCESS...but with time and patience and really close work with your pediatrician YOU can find a solution. Please email me anytime...I would like to help you with this.

I am a piano teacher. One of my students just started meds for ADHD. He is in 2nd grade and was a real problem at school. He is hyper and spaced out at times. He doesn't get along well with others. He also is an only child and his parents were running out of patience. They put him on meds just 2 weeks ago. At first they saw no difference so they put him on a stronger dose. Mother says he still acts out but I have seen a difference in him at piano lessons. He is able to focus better. Meds are scary but sometimes they help. First I would try diet control. I would try an all natural organic foods diet. No artificial colors, flavors or sweetners. Also vegetarian because there are chemicals in meats. Some people have seen changes for the better in this. You have to experiment for a time. Check for allergies too because they affect behavior. AF

I feel your families pain... I am 41yrs old and at 40 I was diagnosed with ADHD... I have tried several things... and so far the best thing that has helped me is neurofeedback Dr. Bolea's Office: ###-###-#### Dr. Angelo Bolea -Annapolis, Maryland.

He mapped out a game plan for me and I have been working on this with someone closer. I am sure it would work for your son as well. The computer program is game driven so it will be fun for your child. If you have more questions - feel free to call me ###-###-#### L.

N.,

Darlin, your heart is splitting wide open and I feel your pain. There are many, natural/practical measures you can try before pursuing the medication route, but they are too many to go into in a message. If you would like to talk at length, please respond and we can arrange a meet. If, after exhausting all natural means, you feel the meds are necessary, you can then feel a sense of confidence that you did everything. You are right, the meds are laden-ed with serious side effects, so you are wise to reach out for help. Just so you know I am not just blowing smoke, I am a Wellness Coach with children/grandchildren of my own.
There is hope, Girl. Even if you cannot irradicate the hyper-activity, you will likely diminish them with education and complete-family cooperation in efforts to minimize, while teaching your son skills to manage his energy.
It is a large job, but doable. I will pray for you and your husband to come to agreement as to measures to pursue. Till then, ask the Lord Jesus for the strength to find the way. If you don't know Him, you can't do this without his wisdom or alone. Ask him in your heart. That is the place to start! Not trying to be preachy, just know that without the Lord, life is too hard. It is hard enough with Him, but without, it is unbearable.
In your corner and ready to help...
-G

N.:

Hello and good morning! You are NOT alone!

First take a deep breath and relax. I understand what you are going through. I have two boys that EXUDE boy-ness daily. They are easily distracted and have been tested as borderline for ADD - not ADHD.

There are MANY ways to handle this without medication.

1. Diet - keep a log of what your son eats during the day. Is there anything inparticular that makes him more excitable after he eats it?

a. Milk - If he drinks a lot of store-bought milk, it has hormones in it - which can cause a lot of the ADD behavior. There is milk without hormones in it - you can purchase it as Giant - I believe it's called Natures Promise and it's Organic and states HORMONE FREE.

b. Processed Foods - if he eats a lot of processed foods (Oreo cookies (my personal favorite!), cheese slices - basically any store bought convenience foods contain hormones and other chemicals that make little brains run rampant. Consider carrots, celery, fruit, etc. instead of Cheesy Poofs, Oreos, etc.

2. Routine - every child covets a routine. As crazy as their day may be between day care, school, parents jobs and baseball or any other activity your son may be in - a routine is NECESSARY. Just like our bedtime routine - bath, brush (teeth and hair), book, bed. When that is disrupted, my kids go nuts.

3. It is ENTIRELY possible that your son is bored because he's not being challenged in his classes at day care - which will cause him to be easily distracted and hyper. Find out what has your son's attention - what does he like to do? what seems to be his favorite subject?

I'm sorry that your husband is working so many jobs. That in itself can cause stress in a child and be a cycle that is hard to be broken because a family is stuck between paying the bills and balancing family. DO NOT feel guilty about this - what you can do is find out if there's a way he can get one job and make enough money to keep the family afloat.

Now, back to the problem you are having - again, take a deep breath. YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS. The pediatrician will talk with you, you and your son and your son by himself. He/She will ask him to draw pictures and talk about the pictures. The Dr. will then give you a questionnaire to fill out and one for your son's teacher(s). The teacher will submit the questionaire via fax or mail separate from yours. The "scores" will then be tabulated by the doctor and it will be determined whether your son is clincally ADD/ADHD.

Then you will meet again with the Dr and he/she will go over the results with you and your husband. You need to express to your dr that you do not want your 5 year old on medication. Again, I seriously recommend cutting processed foods and hormone laced milk products out of his diet and see what a difference that makes in his behavior.

Find a local Tae Kwon Do or some other physical activity that he can go to that will allow him to get rid of his excess energy. My boys are in TKD and have been since they were 5 years old. It made a HUGE difference in them. They were able to be "boys" and not get in trouble for it.

I realize this is long - but I hope it helps. See if cutting processed foods out of your sons diet makes a difference for him. You might just be surprised at what a difference a diet and routine makes!

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS.

God bless.

Cheryl

N.,
I can feel your anxiety as I read your request. My son is now 31 and when he was 5 they said he was ADHD. We did not put him on medication, but it was rough. We did not put him on meds, because he was borderline. Finally he matured, I think sometimes we are defining children as ADHD who just might be a late bloomer. I suggest if you haven't tried this, to look into feeding him organic foods. Some children are allergic to food preservatives and it causes them to react. My child changed as soon as he entered Junior High School and did not have to be with the same teacher all day. I do not know of any doctors in Maryland, but my son is my only child as well.

D.

I am so glad other Moms are speaking out, because it's really frickin' hard!! We have been through the whole process from birth to now age 15, and it is not easy. I totally feel for you and your husband. We debated over the question of medication for a year and a half, it was tough. On one side, why would a parent intentionally put foreign substances in their child's body? Dope him up?! Will my kid know me the same? Will I know my kid the same? How many more times can I handle my kid getting kicked out of daycare? Suspended from school? Not being invited to playdates? Being able to take the school bus?

On the other hand, meds are developed, researched and designed to help these extreme behaviors. In the end, we decided to try meds to enable his brain to slow down enough to be able to finish a complete thought, or at least get halfway on a task. While on the medication, your child will have a chance to POSITIVELY interact with peers and teachers, we found that without the meds, our son was only able to feel the negative repercussions of his behavior. Kids like ours do not understand or pay attention to or give priority to social nuances and manners and societal expectations. This is especially important in the school setting at the beginning of your child's interation with community, and the teachers have thanked us over and over for it. We definitely notice a difference if hasn't had his medication. By the way, my son is on Concerta and Rispirodol. Concerta is a slow release ritalin product (1x per day), and ripiridol seems to be helping the extreme mood swings. We agree, the side effects are really scary. There was something in the news recently about a 4 year old on rispirdol for 3 years and developing breasts. I think that child was over medicated too early for his poor little system to handle. There are maximum amounts the doctor will prescribe, and in Canada, a child cannot be diagnosed with ADHD/ADD until age 7 or grade 2. Most likely a body weight issue and the ability to physically handle the meds. Prior to that, it is all observation. I understand in the US it is different due to drug sales I imagine.

The description of your son sounds exactly like my son; extremely intelligent, cannot play interactively with peers only parallel play, gets along with adults more than peers, and has continual trouble with authority (DO NOT contain him in a 'safe hug'!). In the various schools that Matt has been to, there is always that one teacher that he hates, or that one bully. Nothing is ever good enough. It's like he truly believes that he is an independent soul that knows everything. It has been suggested that he is an Indigo Child. I researched this, and a lot of the descriptors are true, but I personally feel that is yet another way we adults can label and understand.

One last note, once my son was diagnosed, we felt relief because we knew what it was, and that there are tools available and resources in the community to use.
Sorry if this is long winded, but I wish someone was there for me at the beginning.
It has been such a heart-wrenching experience, and now that Matt is 15 and able to exercise some freedoms, I find that he feels relief!

My son was also had ADHD. Though he interacted well with others, he just seemed to be bored and would daydream or just get up and walk around in class. It took until high school to come to the conclusion that he had ADHD and he was put on medicine. Everyone noticed an immediate reaction. He went from barely passing to the honor roll. This is a hard decision to make. I know that medication was the correct answer for my son now, but at the time I was very much against it. I wish you and your son all the best.

N.,
The girl who works with me has 2 sons with ADHD and both are medicated-she used to take them off the meds in the summer until sheswitched Dr's and this one was an expert in the field. He asked her the simple question, "If your sons had diabetes would you stop giving them their meds in the summer?". Of course her answer was, "No." He explained that ADHD is a physical and mental health issue and needs dealt with in the same manner. He says some forms can be dealt with without meds, some with, and some need meds and counselling-one of her boys is on meds only and one is on meds and counselling. ADHD is not always a hereditory thing either, there can be many factors that cause it including food allergies, prolonged exposure to some medications (such as steriod treatments for asthma), etc.
Your doctor should have lots of answers for you when you go to see him and have your son tested. If not look for another opinion and seek the help of a psychiatrist.
My husband also has adult ADHD, however his cannot be medicated so we deal with it through counselling. Explain to your husband that this is not the worst diagnosis in the world and that with the proper treatment your son will thrive. Your son will probably be relieved to feel he is in control again-ADHD affects so many areas of their lives that you will be surprised at the changes after the appropriate treatment. ADHD people tend to be very impulsive and act without thinking through the consequences, treatment gives them the ability to think situations through. Hang in there it will get better with the appropriate treatment-it is very important that your husband go to the drs. appts and testings with you so he can hear first hand what is recommended and explained.
I'll be praying for you all during this time!

N. you are a great MOM!!! Just because this means so much to you shows you are a caring mom and you just want what is best for your son. I am going through this with my son. I was told by his daycare, preschool, and his Kindergarden teachers that they believe that he had ADHD. Knowing this for about 3 years I did lots a research and tried many of the coping techniques. We tried using timers to help him stay focused on taswe tried doing homework in 15 min spurts with 15 min play breaks, we tried using different writing utentials to keep him interested, we tried doing homework on differntcolored paper, chaulk board, or white boards. Anything to keep him focused on a specific task. We did pretty well with routines until Kindergarden. With all the kids in his class(29) he just could not focus and was not getting the material and time he needed to get things accomplished. At that point we went to the doc, she sent us to the behavioral health center. The first visit was HORRIBLE. I felt interagated and persocuted for everything I have ever done. At the first visit they said he looks like a child with ADHD and we want to try meds. At first I was appauled but if I didn't try I would not be helping my son. We tried them for one month. The behavior was not that different,at home. I had a meeting with the teacher and she showed me some of his work pre medication and post medication. The change was pnemonminal!!!!! The attention to detail was amazing. The clarity in his writing, his recalection of material covered was so much more detailed. Needless to say it was the right decision for us!!! We have since changed to a longer lasting release pill but it is great. At first the only side effect was his loss of appetite but he didn't lose any weight so we continued the meds. There were no other side effects. His personality was not changed or dampened by the meds. He is still a crazy, into everything average always in trouble about something little boy!! I say that in the lovingest of ways:)I am certain he is getting a better education because he is on the meds because he can stop, listen and focus. Which is something that was a problem before. I wish you all the luck and patience. If you would like to email me or call to have someone to talk to I would love to talk to you.
T.
____@____.com

My very smart and intelligent son is now 15 and was diagnosed with ADHD and has been on Ritalin from age 6 until 14 when he switched to Adderall. While on Ritalin he had no noticable side effects and his teachers said that while it took a little while to work it was like he was a different child. His report cards slowly became better and his fifth grade teacher said he was very smart which was a wonderful change from what the school psychologist estimated his IQ to be be about 85-90 while in the first grade. He is now in high school and doing quite well. He still has occasional trouble with fighting but I am very thankful for the meds. Without them I have no doubt he would be in police custody for all the problems with aggression before the meds. The benefits far outweigh the possible side effects. They have made it possible for everyone to see what a wonderful son I have. Just start slowly and increase only if necessary. Good luck and give your son a hug!

WOW! That's a lot of information! Like many parenting choices, everyone's got strong opinions on the path they've chosen. You've have tons of good suggestions that I won't bother repeating. I will suggest you take a deep breath and make a list of all these ideas. Then do some research and figure out which ones will work for you.

My other big suggestion is to talk to you son about what's going on. Now I understand he's 5, he can't articulate symptoms and he doesn't have anything to compare his experience to. I just mean once you know a little more, talk to him about it. It's very easy for these kids to see adults worried and upset and think there's something terribly wrong with them. Kids have all kinds of irrational fears like they'll be sent away or that their brain is broken and they'll need surgery to fix it.

(My stepdaughter was diagnosed ADHD at 5. Yes, we have her on meds and yes, they help in our situation.)

Regardless of where you stand on meds/foods/doctors...one of the best things we did was sit her down and explain that she has a racecar brain. We think it's neat that she can see the world differently. We talked about cool people (Ty Pennington, the president of JetBlue) who have the same type of brain as her and they used that to do great things. No matter what you do next, I just think it's important to build up your son so he doesn't feel "broken". I think in the overload of what to do next, it's easy to forget that.

Good Luck! As you can see, no matter what you choose, you can find somebody who disagrees and somebody else who's doing that same thing. This is a hard time for you. I think we're all saying we've been there, we've struggled with these ideas, and we've all found something that helped. You're acting out of love and concern for your child and that's the best place to start.

It sounds like your son could just be a very active boy. Michael Phelps, the olympic swimmer, was the same way. He needed an outlet.
You might also consider changing his diet. When my son was acting out, I looked into a blood type diet. I chose Eat Right 4 Your Type. It help greatly. I also learned that my son had a kinesthetic learning style. He needed to be in motion to learn (I'm the same way). We worked on ways he could be in motion that would not affect the other kids in class- especially the extremely quiet girl that sat next to him.
There is a Naturopath near Ft. Meade that might help. His name is Dr, Shamim.
Good Luck,

CK

I know this is hard but you MUST get your son some help. My stepson has ADHD and really needs help but his parents (my husband and his ex) basically ignore it. He is on meds but the Dr. they have him seeing just writes a new prescription to try every time I bring up symptoms/problems. It's so hard b/c I know that he would have a happier, healthier life if he had more help - therapy, group play, behavior modification, etc. but my husband doesn't want to admit that his son has something "wrong" with him and his ex just wants her "baby" to stay a baby (at almost 13!). In the meantime the poor kid has no friends and adults yell at him constantly b/c of his poor and bizarre behavior. Get your son the help he needs for his own sake.

PS - I don't know about the ADHD only being passed down by the father. My husband's ex has it and is mentally ill (along with several members of her family). It's pretty clear he inherited from her side of the family. But what does it matter really? We all have traits we would rather not pass on but they were passed to us. All that matters is helping your son!

My son was diagnosed with ADHD when he was in the second grade. I was absolutely against medication for him. We tried all kinds of behavior modification techniques and reward systems for good behavior, but nothing worked very well or for very long. I finally agreed to a low dose of the recommended medication and it really did make a great deal of difference to my son and to our family. The side effects can be reduced if you don't give the medicine on the weekends or any day they are out of school. My son never took it during the summer or holidays, weekends, etc. We used it just to get him through the shcool day. Even though I was not happy about giving him the medicine, it certainly made him a lot happier. He stopped getting in trouble, was able to do his school work and made friends more easily. I know it's scary, but you have to do what's best for your child and his future. Good luck.

I know the pain of hearing people tell you your beloved child is not perfect. My son has was diagnosed (with an educational evalution, not clinically) with ADD.

We too, did not want to use meds. But we didn't do enough to persue other treatment. Here is a link that talks about Interactive Metronome:
http://www.webmd.com/video/adhd-brain-scans

And there is a version of Interactive Metronome that one can use on a home computer.

Good luck with everything.

I know this is late but I wanted to tell you that ADHD runs in my family and very few of us have actually needed medication, it did take a lot of work though, you need to find a counselor who is willing to work with you in your goal to avoid medication and then work on establishing tools that will help your son and your family deal with the issues that ADHD has. It's not easy and it takes work, which is why I think most parents just medicate, but it is doable and the side effects of the medication are usually include a child who is never REALLY happy anymore.
Good luck, I know it's not easy but you should be applauded for trying so hard to do what is best for your son. I hope this helps.
A.

Dealing with Medical issues when it comes to your children is hard no matter what. So much pressure to do the right thing. BUt what is the "right" thing?

What type of doctor are you seeing? My son sees a DAN doctor and they deal with Autism.They are very aware of the issues that brain chemistry has on children. The range is very large with autism and even though your child may not have a problem with autism he may have an issue that can be helped by the treatments and techniques used to treat autism.

Yes, you can medicate your child but I agree with the posts on here about trying the simpler solutions such as the diet first to see if the diet is effecting your child's behavior.
There are other things you can look at in your home and his environment. Routine. His sleep patterns. Eating behaviors. When he is more likely to have a bad day. Maybe he is being over stimulated by too much sound, light, visual things (clutter) etc.. that causes him to feel irritated and overwhelmed. Daycares are a place where children that are highly sensitive to stimulation can become irritated and reactive due to so much going on at once with other children, toys, noise etc and feeling like they have nowhere to have a quiet moment to themselves to regroup. Have you talked to him about what bothers him in school, why he thinks he is not listening or if he knows how to behave at school?

I guess what I am saying is that maybe you should research the natural remedies and things you can do to work on helping your son first and then discuss and consider medication after trying those ideas out.

Personally, I think that the medical community uses medication way too much as a means to pacify the child enough to help the parents cope with their lives. It is just "easier" to medicate because that requires no effort on the parents part. Most parents are just too "busy" to put in the time and effort with their child to make a difference.
Of course, I am not saying that you are one of these parents (obviously you are considering this very seriously and getting as much information as possible to do what is best for your child). Since your husband is working so much then you understandhow other parents that are both working long hours are just too mentally, emotionally and physically drained to deal with their child when they get home. But, to me, I think it just requires sacrifice on the parents part to make the time and put in the effort even if it means having one parent stay home.Your child is that important. Even if they have to downsize their home their cars etc.. a child should be worth those material sacrifices.

Doctors medicate instead of looking at the child's environment, diet and overall lifestyle for a cause. They are using a medication to cover up the real problem while created a new one (side effects, lost personality, health issues, etc..). Using the medication does nothing more than cover up the problem and it does nothing to remedy and fix it.

I wish you all the luck in the world. Personally I hate labels when it comes to children because unfortunately they end up conforming to those labels. Whether they really have that issue or not doesn't matter because it makes it harder for them to break free from being "that ADHD kid" or "Unfocused" or "difficult" "sensitve" "bored" "Hyper" etc... Labels hurt, even when you don't realize that you are putting one on your child. Just be careful you don't label him too quickly, he may just live up to the expectation.

I hope this didn't sound like some kind of soap box speech. I am sorry if it did but I have bcome very passionate about using natural, common sense solutions for children's health issues. This is based on my experience with my son's regression (after a combination immunization shot)and his "quirks" that are left over from it. I truly hope that you find what works for you and your family and is best for your son's health.

Have you looked at chiropractic care? Or very simply food sensitivity. Corn in all forms makes one of my sons act very different than when he is on a corn free diet. There are a few different diets out there that I'd look into before drugs. Feingold is one. A great online resource for food issues and diets is the food lab yahoo group. I'd try everything out there before drugs though.

HI N.,
I feel you honey. We have been there. My now 9 year old son has been diagnosed with ADHD and Tourrettes syndrome. I too was against meds at first. There are several different routes you can take. I started with putting him on the Feingold Diet (www.feingold.org) and had him tested through his school for learning disabilities. All this was in conjunction with is pediatrician. He was then put on the lowest dose of Concerta for his age and size. All the possible side effects have to be listed and yes they are scary. Look up any of the meds you may take and the side effects possible are all pretty scary.
As too your son being very bright .... most kids with ADHD and ADD are. They just have a hard time focusing and staying on task and yes there usually is some sort of defiance to authority to go with it.
There is also herbal remedies you can try that can help just go too www.herbalremediesinfo.com and there will se several information sites for you to research.
ADHD as a diagnosis is not the end of the world it is the beginning of understanding what is going on with your son and being able to help him thrive and do well in school. If you do in fact get a diagnosis of ADHD get in contact with his school and set up a 504 plan so all of his educational needs are met and you can also contact the Social Security Administration as he may be entitled to benefits through SSI.
Sorry this is so long but if you need to talk or vent or anything just email me at ____@____.com or on here and I will be more than happy to listen.
J.

PS Contact your sons insurance provider and ask them for a list of doc who specialize in ADHD and they will give it to you. Our Doc is Dr. Eadie at Dundalk Pediatrics she is fabulous and specializes in Adhd.

Many friends/family have had this "issue". The children ARE very intellegient. Try the alturnitive route by looking into the foods he eats. The past two generations are products of process foods which they have found to be the major cause of ADHD. Also a simple hair analyst's will help rule out either to much or to many trace elements in his system. They take a cutting of his hair (DNA) and you will get a detailed report of all the miners,vitiams, or toxic metals in his system. Its great to know whats going on in his system BEFORE just "pumping' him with medications. I am many of my friends have gone to Dr. Bonnie Rose in Virginia Beach on Va. Beach Blvd. and there is Dr. Charisse Barksdale on Holland Road.. These Dr.s use natural ways to heal people.

ADHD is an illness and the medications can help. I was worried about medicating at 1st too but when I realized it could help him it seemed the best thing to do. My son is more inattentive type but also very hyperactive so he's a combo. The main reason we chose medication wasn't school (though that's a huge problem too) but social situations. He started developing major stress tics because he was so upset at summer camp that kids didn't want him on their team because he couldn't focus on the directions while they were being given and never had any clue what was going on during the game. I had seen this around the house since he was a baby. His teachers even said he did good one on one but in a group they constantly had to remind him to pay attention. We 1st tried Vyvanse but it gave him horrible car sickness (he gets carsick any way but this seemed to make it worse), then Adderall but he started having other side effects from that and now Concerta which is the charm. His teachers tell me he is still able to be goofy and funny and has his own true personality but is also able to focus for long periods, he's not a zombie at all. He is just so happy because he can focus in baseball and can now listen to the coaches and understand because a million thoughts aren't going thru his head. The kids are now complimenting him on how well he is hitting and other things and I can see his self esteem climbing after only a few weeks. After one game he came up to me and hugged me saying it was the happiest day of his life. He is able to focus more in swim team which makes him feel super good cause he couldn't focus to finish one lap without getting distracted and he's not dead last anymore. His teachers are saying that besides being more responsible in the classroom now and not having a private office he is able to create more friendships on the playground since he feels more in control of himself and he seems to be having more fun. I've actually had him beg me to give him some more Concerta when he was at a Gifted and Talented fair where they were showcasing his work and he couldn't control himself.
I've found with him that diet doesn't seem to play too much of a role in his behavior but I control his sugar intake anyway and what he eats for the most part. But for us medicine is the best route and we don't give medicine holidays as he needs it for more than just academics. Every medicine works differently on every person. What works for one may not work for another. If he has a side effect that is unbearable try a different medicine. Hopefully when he gets older he won't need the medicine and will be able to deal with it medicine free but if not that's OK too. One of the other compelling reasons we medicated him too was we have a history of drug addiction in our family and several have turned to drugs and alcohol to cope with the feelings that having the adhd causes. It wasn't til later on that they were diagnosed with adhd and they had been trying to self medicate all along with drugs and alcohol. We go to Pediatric Associates in Ellicott City and Dr. Cahill is his Dr. and prescribes his adhd meds and he has been great so far. good luck with your decision hope this helps. Oh, and my son got his adhd from me and my side of the family. hope this wasn't too long and you got to make it to the end:-)

Hello N.,
My name is P. , firt I want to tell you that I would try everything before medication. Lots of activity is the best for your son try also swiming classes even everyday. I worked a lot with children that has been diagnosted ADHD and I really don´t belive in med at that early age. I now it is a lot of extra efford to do extra activities with him, and I belive this activities also should be in scheduel and organized, it doesn´t work once in a while.
Let us know how it works, I wish you and your family the best.
Love
P.

My brother was diagnosed with ADHD. He tried meds as a kid and felt it took away his personality and never wanted to take it again. However, I encourage you to also have him tested for Asbergers because later in life my brother now thinks that is what he has and research shows a significant increase in this and it being mistaken for ADHD. My mom was a part of a huge community with support for kids with ADHD so I would search online for groups near you.

I have 3 year old daughter and a six year old son. My son has always been very hyper and hard to deal with as well. In public preschool last year the teacher told us she thought he was possibly ADHD. I had been wondering myself. We talked to the teacher about my husband and his past and considered having him evalulated. I understand it is quite a process. Although he continued to have problems, he did improve. He is very smart and sometimes we thought maybe he was bored because he is so smart. We never have had any evaluation, but in the past 2 years he has really matured a great deal. My husband was like yours and dead set against any kind of drugs. Our son is also being considered for the gifted program in kindergarden now. I think if you keep hanging in there, he will come around. Try getting some preschool workbooks for him to learn ahead and keep him busy. I know it is hard, but he is getting older everyday! I'm sure you will have some mothers to respond to try the drugs. I dated a guy with hyper kids when I was younger and he would give them the pill and within minutes they would be like different kids. Almost zombie like! I think I would give it some more time before resorting to that. Good luck, I think he will eventually outgrow it!