I met with my 4yo dtr's teacher and she reports that my dtr will not speak in class. She has one little friend that she talks to, but she will not speak to the teacher or ask for help. She does talk plenty at home so I know there is no speech delay. She just clams up when she is outside of her comfort zone. Has anyone else experienced this? I'm hoping it's just a function of maturity and this too shall pass. She is the same way when I take her to get her haircut or at parties....I've tried engaging her in activities outside of school but she will go one time and then refuse. She is a very strong willed and independent child. So unlike my other child. She is very serious and her teacher says she never smiles or laughs. This makes me very sad :( Any suggestions???
L.
PLEASE check out www.selectivemutism.org website. I think it will really help you.
My daughter, who is now 7, did the same thing! She was always VERY verbal at home, but did not talk to anyone in preschool. She loved going, and loved the works and projects, but would not talk. She did answer questions presented to her in a one on one lesson. I, too, was worried a bit, and sad that the teachers didn't see her true personality. With her, each year got a bit better. In 4 yr. old preschool she talked to the teacher when asked and even had a friend. In kindergarten she was still quite reserved, but opened up a bit more. Now that she is in 2nd grade, she talks quite a bit, and is more comfortable asking questions, and has made many friends.
We have worked with her quite a bit on this because she is "shy", and sometimes "force" her to ask for what she wants now, and all of her teachers have been very helpful - very encouraging.
I would suggest that you be patient, and talk to her teacher about it - they may have some suggestions.
Good Luck!
Your daughter sounds very like my 5 year old son who talks a lot at home but according to his teacher, hardly says a word in class. He is very communicative with his friends in the playground but it seems as though the classroom is causing him some stress. We are trying to remove the stress as far as we can and this is hard because school have high expectations. I want to get him to engage more with his work but it seems that he finds this difficult. My only advice is Don't Worry! I would love to hear how you get on and whether you try anything that works. Maybe the kids just need time to adjust to the continuities of post-toddlerdom. They grow very fast very quickly and become accustomed to a rapid succession of new experiences and when it all settles down at school become a bit unstuck especially is they are a little introverted. We are continuing with activities which are very familiar like make Lego structures, colouring in, cooking, singing - all the things that we did in the early days to make life seem a bit more familiar! All the best, Kate
This would be called Selective Mutism which you can google and read lots about. Good luck.
My Kindergartener is like that, somewhat. He was shy when outside his small comfort zone. We worked on that by asking him to order at restaurants. I would purposely not speak up for him to encourage him to speak up for himself.
At first he mumbled, but learned to speak clearly and concisely when he needed something. Now, he's still hesitant but will speak up if he feels the need.
