My Children Are Fighting.. Yes My Son Is a Dog

He didn't pull her meanly did he? He just tugged her shirt to get her out. He did the bite so honestly he told her he wasn't okay with it. He didn't snap he didn't growl he didn't do any of it hr he didn't grab flesh just her shirt. So honestly I think he is fine just. And he did t do any of it out of hate just love that he didn't want her in his room

Sigh. Please don't refer to your dog as your son. It's disrespectful to both the dog and your child. I can see when people do this when they have a dog before kids but really, your daughter came first and your pet is not her equal, so stop it. It's not cute.

Mom,

It's HIS bed. It's HIS room. It's HIS space. They are NOT fighting. They are establishing a pecking order. They are establishing boundaries.

The dog did NOT change. The dog did what any animal would do when provoked in HIS territory - REACT. And yes, your daughter DID provoke him. She went into HIS territory.

I have a Boxer/Pit Bull mix. I know ALL about the jumping! My 4-legged boy is 4 years old. He sleeps with my boys every night - switches between the two rooms.

Your child and your dog both need to be trained. Your daughter needs to learn NOT to go into the dog's "territory" and NOT touch his food, water or bones - ESPECIALLY while he's eating it.

The bulldozing people over when they have his toy? That's typical for Boxers, they are NOT aware of their own strength or body mass. It's HIS TOY - if it's in their hands - he assumes PLAY!!! PLAY!! PLAY!!!

Good luck!!

You're over reacting. The dog didn't change. It's behavior was totally acceptable. He took her sleeve and gently tugged on it. He didn't do anything wrong. He gently told her that he was done with her being in his house. Kind of like when someone grabs you buy the elbow and steers you out the door when they want you to leave. Don't let your daughter play in his house anymore. Problem solved. He sounds like a very good boy to me! If it makes you feel better, keep a closer eye on the two of them until you feel comfortable.

Your dog is your pet, not your son.
Treating an animal like a person is confusing for the animal.
He's a pack animal and he needs to know his place in the pack.
He also needs his crate to be his safe spot - the place he can go when he needs to get away from it all.
Your dog needs training - it's been said before.
You'll both be happier once he's trained.
Both the dog and your daughter are at developmental stages where either might hurt each other - unintentionally - but the consequences can be horrible.

Get the dog trained and make sure they are well supervised (like you are on the floor with them) when ever they are together.
Taking care of this now will help you (and your daughter) to avoid becoming a statistic.
Think about it.
What could possibly be worse than having your daughter mauled/maimed/scarred for life (or dead) and having to have to have your dog euthanized for hurting her?
Protect them BOTH by getting the dog extremely well trained!
And keep your daughter out of his crate (and his food if she gets into that).

http://www.dogsbite.org/dog-bite-statistics.php

I'm sorry. Your dog is not your child. He's an animal.

I agree with others, your daughter invaded his space. He didn't suddenly change. He is guarding his spot, his safe haven.

I had to read your other posts, thanks Julie S, you gave a puppy to a 1 year old? That's not an appropriate present for a 1 year old. I agree with that one 100%.

Do you know anything about the breed of dog you have? Boxers are high energy dogs. They are very protective of their pack. Males can weigh up to 80lbs and it's ALL muscle. Please do some research on the breed you chose and get him trained.

S.

I hope and pray you get a professional trainer to come to your home and do repeated sessions with you and your dog. Do not try to handle this alone because you are too involved with your pet as your "child" and a "member of the family" here. Please, please get a trainer immediately, one who has experience in dealing with dogs in households with young kids. I also recommend you see the TV series "It's Me or the Dog," which though often amusing, makes a very serious point: In almost every case of bad dog behaviors, the problem is the adults indulging the dog and treating it as another child whom they love but just can't bear to train or discipline effectively.

He grabbed her sleeve THIS time. Next time he may grab her arm or leg or heaven forbid, her face or neck. You have had more than enough warnings that you did not heed. She has been invading his territory and treating it as her own but the issue is not her -- she is a baby and cannot be taught differently yet. . You need to treat your dog AS a dog and your child as a toddler who knows no better and has been permitted to act in ways the adults shouldn't have permitted.

You say she is never mean to him and does not tease him but you are not inside his brain. She is in his territory; she is alpha and he is...not. Please stop assigning a dog emotions like "love" and saying he loves her. He may like her just fine, but it only takes one moment of her getting in his way or his space or taking his toy and he will revert to behaving as dog does, and dogs are pack animals; he does not know where he fits into the pack and she is making him insecure as you already know. But just banning her from his crate is not going to be enough.

Professional training, now and ongoing, not just one session, before she totally innocently grabs a toy of his, or tries to pet him when he does not want to be petted, or otherwise sets him off. He is a dog and you are not able to read his mind or assign him emotions. His cute "rushes" at you and others when you had his toys were signals to you that you read as funny behavior when he might have been telling you he's confused and angry that others mess with his stuff constantly. The fact he "usually" lies down and lets her pet him means nothing. Training, firm, now, or rehome him if you are not willing to accept he is a pet and not a son.You are puttiing him on a par with your real child and seeking an explanation for behavior that is already explained by the fact he is a dog, and not 100 percent predictable.

WHAT are you thinking????

You allowed your child to enter your dog's safe spot and taunt him???

SO WRONG.

Even if YOU don't feel like your dog was taunted ... He was. How would you feel if someone took over your personal turf? An animal does not know the distinction of play when it is personal like this.

Plus... Your dog routinely jumps on you which can be fun if in the right spirit.

You are fortunate that things are not worse.

Maybe Dana's advice is right, get a play "box"crate " for your daughter to play in but never EVER allow a child in the safe spot for a pet.

I'm just glad you are all ok.

I think there is a happy medium between never trusting an animal and letting a child routinely behave in a way that would bother most dogs.

Your boxer is rapidly getting older, and they mature faster than human children. Maybe she felt she passed your daughter in the pack order.

I think it's smart to keep boxer in her place, and watch over them together (do NOT leave them alone together, until she is much bigger and older, EVER). But I'm not sure I'd panic based on what you've posted.

My mini-schnoodle snarled at a child at our house over the weekend which is something I have NEVER seen her do (she's 2.5). But this child was messing with her over an over and finally doggie had had enough. The child's mom said that their dog does the same thing. I still felt bad, though, and fussed at my own dog. But it was a good reminder to me that dogs are dogs and they do have their limits.

PS: I'd get your boxer in some training. He should not be running at you or anyone else.

he sounds like a VERY good boy, at least where your daughter is concerned. but sweet as he is with her, the fact that he's undisciplined enough to bulldoze people at will (and that he's 'less' bitey- huge red flag for me) means you have not established the right hierarchy with him. i'm sure he's a big love- but you have a child to consider.
and no, he's not one.
i'm glad you recognize that letting your daughter into his space was a mistake. we all make mistakes, and this one didn't end badly. i don't think he 'changed', i think he just got pushed beyond what he could take equably, and handled it as gently as he could (and got yelled at for it, poor fellow.)
even as much as he loves her, he's a dog and can only communicate like a dog. your daughter is a toddler and needs to be monitored around him at all times. it sounds like she is very good with him too, but she's tiny and doesn't understand the nuances of animal communication. it's not a matter of not being able to trust dee- but you have to trust him to behave like a dog, and your daughter to behave like a toddler, and that means supervision all round. don't EVER assume he'll be 'like your old dog'. maybe when he's an old dog he will, but you're not thinking about him like a dog, are you? it's not fair to him to expect him to be a human, and an adult human at that.
you have done a lot of things right AND you've been very, very lucky. i'm not going to beat you up. but i do think you need to supervise much more stringently, and you need to get dee properly trained.
good luck!
khairete
S.

Yes it was a mistake to allow her to play in the crate. You know better now. i would not assume that you missed any kind of warning sign... but you should understand what went on. It's not a matter of "trusting him enough" to allow her to do that. It's a matter of understanding the dog NEEDS a place that is his, and that is a "safe" place for him to go.

Another element to this is hierarchy. Dogs are pack animals, and you guys (and your daughter) are his pack. There is an alpha male and an alpha female, and then everyone else... who also has their OWN pecking order. Your daughter needs to be above the dog. If the dog was pulling her out of the crate, then he is higher on the pecking order than she is. If he understood himself to be subordinate to her, he wouldn't have done that.
It shouldn't have been allowed to happen (the situation in which she was in his safe place)... but it has, and now he has shown (however politely) that he is dominant to her.

Do not eve allow her to play in the crate. The crate is for the dog to get away and be alone if he needs or wants to. A safe place, from your daughter even, if she is annoying him. Make it a simple rule never to be broken.

And keep a very close eye on them, because litter mates will challenge each other for pack hierarchy.

I will tell you, it is very difficult to teach the child to be dominant over the dog. The dog naturally will dominate... kids just aren't mature enough to possess or impart that "alpha" dominance over the dog. Even their voices are not naturally deep and dominant, but helpless sounding.

Keep your eyes/ears open for any other places where litter mates would need to behave in a dominant manner and do not let the dog become the dominant one. Food and feeding time especially. Or with toys. Stealing (yes, dogs steal) is a big one... the dog will swipe a plaything of your daughter's and take off with it for what looks like a fun (but annoying) game of catch-me-if-you-can... it is stealing. And it is not something to allow to go on.
--
But otherwise, the dog sounds very gentle and loving towards your daughter. Our dog grew up with our kids also (daughter was about to turn 3 when we got our puppy) and she is VERY gentle with her mouth. She has put her mouth on kids who were bothering her (my kids) but never bitten. Believe me, there is a major difference. She has never bitten a soul. But she lets you know by putting her mouth on you (with no pressure) to stop whatever it is, that she doesn't like it. If you continue, she will submit to whatever it is, or leave (like when I clip her nails... she sometimes gets tired of it and puts her mouth on my hand... but I push her mouth away and tell her no, and continue, and she lies back and lets me complete the clipping, or manages to get up and walk away, lol--she's big, so other than by my commands, I can't make her stay lying down while I clip without a 2nd person to assist).

But the kids also were taught from an early age that when she mouths them to stop whatever it is... it is a doggy warning! When we play/roughhouse with the kids ourselves, she gets in on it, too.. and will pull on their clothes (jeans leg or shirt sleeve) with no skin or flesh involvement whatsoever. She is very sensitive to what is in her mouth. It's amazing, really.

She is the same when she plucks her frisbee from the bushes outside... you'd think it was a tiny, delicate crystal figurine she was ever so gently removing from the branches of an azalea bush.. but nope: her rubbery, plastic dog frisbee from Old Navy. She's just careful. :)

Sounds like your dog is careful, too. But, because of the nature of a young child and a young, large, gangly dog... you need to be watchful, aware, and careful yourself.

I am so relieved to read you say "It was my mistake in the first place for trusting him so much", you can't imagine. Why? Because you have come to this realization BEFORE anything adverse happened!

Your daughter has become more of an "equal" to your dog, and you will need to be vigilant to make sure that all interactions between the two of them are monitored & kept safe.

Your dog absolutely -must- have a place to call his own, that he can retreat to whenever he needs a break from your daughter. And rather than barring that area off from the both of them, you will need to teach your daughter to leave his area alone, and especially to leave him alone when he retreats there.

The one thing I might have done differently in your situation above, would have been to not yell at the dog. From the description you gave of "gently tugging" it sounds like your reaction was over the top, & you don't want him to become resentful of your daughter, or to associate her with punishment.

Regarding your dog's behavior - he is only 1 years, & your daughter is in the thick of toddler-ism. There is no way for him to be just like your previous dog, because the situation is entirely different. And yes, when it comes to dogs & young children, changes can happen rather quickly. You will need to monitor their behavior together, & as she gets older, make sure that she treats him kindly, he is not unjustly reprimanded, and that he is respectful of her.

Many dogs can view children as either an equal, or a threat, when they begin the transition from baby into toddler. All of a sudden, they are more mobile, engaged & vocal. You will need to make sure that if your dog sees her as an equal, that he remains respectful of her. And if he starts to view her as a threat (he will retreat, possibly growl, avoid her, etc.), you will need to separate them & prevent her from harassing him.

For now, it sounds like their relationship is still very positive, and as long as you maintain the sacredness of his crate, & keep close monitoring on both of them together, things should be OK.

Extra Milkbones to Dee for being so sweet with your daughter, when he could've reacted negatively! T.

You really should learn what disposition Boxers have and about their breed.
They are rambunctious and like to jump.
They are very playful and have lots of energy and need to expend their energy. They are high energy dogs and need attention.
We had a Boxer.

Your "son" is a dog.
Your child is very young.
Both lack impulse control and they are both young.

NO pet, is predictable.
No child, is predictable.
And safety of your child, needs to be a priority.

If it makes you feel better, the one thing that seems to push our dog's buttons if when kids kind of lean on his back near his butt while he's walking. Young boys seem to like to do this. He will turn around and make a noise and opens his mouth but doesnt actually make contact. It's been years now and that's his warning and whenever I see a kid start to do it, I explain not to. It's been years and tons of kids with knock wood not a problem. I think your dog was remarkably smart and mature. He didn't go beserk. He showed what his problem was. I think if you keep her out and keep an eye it should be fine. If something else seems to bother him and it's one thing after another, the. You certainly need to do something.

FYI, dogs go through developmental stages and changes just like kids do. One of these stages takes place at about 12 months (might depend a little on breed and size) and another at 18 months. We had a poodle suddenly "change" (it had been underlying unbeknownst to us) and manifest pretty significant "resource guarding" at age 16 months. I would keep a close eye on him and get him some obedience training. This incident actually doesn't sound that bad, but given his size and age better to be safe than sorry.

Your mom is right. Never give an animal the benefit of the doubt. While you may consider him a child/son, at the end of the day, he is a dog and a high energy one. That combo can be unpredictable.
I have told his story on here before, but it is so important for pet owners to understand that even though you have known a dog for years, you just never know what can trigger an episode with a pet. One evening we were having dinner at my mom's house. My son, a toddler then, fell down near the dog as he was toddling around. He didn't even make contact with my mom's dog. The dog turned suddenly and bit him directly in the face. It was a nip, but it drew blood and left a nasty looking jagged wound. An inch over, and it would have been his eye. My mom watched my son every day, and my son was used to the dog as the dog was to he. He had never shown any aggression before.
My son is 7 now, and there is a scar there to this day. I never trusted that dog around my kids again. Ever. My mom loved her dog dearly and treated him like her baby, and literally got angry at me because I was so livid about what happened (I had repeatedly turned the dog outside and asked that he be left outside while my son was walking around, but my mom and brother kept turning him back in the house.)
Anyway, you did the right thing, and got your daughter out of the crate. That's his place and is probably somewhere he can go to get away. She also needs to understand that his crate is off-limits, as well. It will get better as they both get older together. There was no harm done, so try not to worry too much.

It sounds to me as if he responded to your daughter invading his space very well. It didn't show aggression, he simply tried to remove her. You made the mistake by letting her in his space and then by yelling at him, when he didn't do anything wrong! Teach your daughter to respect his space and I think you'll be fine. BTW, I have no problem with referring to him as your "son". I have 1 human daughter and 2 fur children.

Yes, you can never trust an animal. Set boundaries for both your daughter and dog and you should be fine.

We adopted a Doberman puppy when we got married (2001). We then had three boys (2005, 2008, 2010). Our Doberman has been beyond wonderful and gentle with them (the old girl is almost 13 now). However, we never let the kids play near her food or in her bed. That was her space. Likewise, our dog doesn't go in our beds or eat from the table. There were times our boys would try to play with her when she was eating or take her toy away, and the dog would just back away or lay down. I truly believe with all my heart she would never hurt them. BUT, I know too that she is an animal and if she did lash out, she would cause damage--as would your boxer.

If you're careful and set boundaries they can definitely be best friends!

I find you calling him your "son" pretty offensive. Do you really consider him an equal to your daughter.
I think you are a little misguided on the thought process of your dog. I third the take him to a trainer. I would be so nervous about your little toddler playing with him without it. He could so easily hurt her permanently.

He's not your son. He's a dog. And no matter what you believe about your dog, your daughter comes first. Dogs can't talk or moderate their behaviors according to your expectations when instinct kicks in. I have known more than one family that has had to rehome a pet who could not handle a new family member. And in fact, one dog went from loving pup to attacking toddlers - both his own and guests - with little warning, and the family could not rehome him at all - no matter how hard they tried (and I know, because I tried with them) and they had to put the dog down (which I was very against, but I could not help them).

He's not your son.

Never let your daughter go in his crate.
Teach her, keep an eye on her, lock the door so she can't open it.
Never leave them alone together.
Always watch the dog, don't just trust him.
It is most likely that she invaded his space & he was just trying to get her
out like his blanket. Still, be vigilant in watching them together.
Teach her to leave his food alone, toys, blanket etc. Never to tease him,
play w/his stuff etc.

He pulled on her sleeve. He did not bite her. Fuzzy kids are just like non fuzzy kids. My dog and my daughter will push each other off a pillow on the couch or my dog will keep licking my daughter until she moves over. He did not want her in his house, just like a brother will lock his sister out of his room. Yes, you always have to watch them together, just like you would watch any other 2 siblings. My fuzzy kid (dog) is the first by my daughters side when she makes a noise or if someone approaches the her. I trust my dog completely but know that they are siblings and sometimes will get pissy witheachother. I disagree with the person who said he is not your son. Yes, the dog is indeed your son. That is like saying an adopted kis is less important then one you have yourself. My dog is my daughter and is equal to the human daughters.