My Daughter Does Not like to Sleep

I recommend making bedtime a routine. Also for baths, I recommend baby oatmeal soaps by Aveno or the baby relaxing soap by Johnson & Johnson.

With my son, I make a routine of bath, brushing his teeth, etc. It helps him go to sleep easier. Also the relaxing soap is really good for helping him relax and go to sleepe easier.

M., have you considered having a sleep study done on her? That might help uncover what the problem could be.

Sounds like my son, who is also 3. Let her sleep with you and the excitment will soon wear off for her. My son also likes when I lay in bed with him until he falls asleep...then I sneak off and then end up back in bed with him at about 4 am. At least I get sleep though.
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Hi M., Sleep issues can be so trying. My 3 year old always had a hard time too. What worked for us was the family bed. This way at least my husband and I got some sleep, but after a while we put him in his own bed, still in our room. The comfort of having us close helps my son. At this age, especially, they start to get nighttime fears. IF he wakes up Itell him to try to go back to sleep and stay in his own bed. I tell him he can get out of his bed when its light out. Most nights he'll still call me once to cover him or just for reassurance, but its gotten better for us. hope this helps.

Hi M.,

I am also a single mother of a 6 year-old. For almost a year, I have used a chart which lists things that "used" to be problem areas. The days are along the top and the items are along the side. If my son does well in the area, he gets a star, sticker, button, etc. (however you want to make the chart.) At the end of the week, if he gets a certain number of buttons, he gets to do something he likes to do or gets a small treat. In addition, on the the days in which he doesn't do well, he doesn't get to do things he likes. For my son, the items which need work are things such as cooperate, brush teeth, say please and thank you, etc. For your daughter it might be completes bedtime tasks by X, and stays in bed. She gets positive marks when she does those things. The Chart can be a pain to keep up with, but it has certainly been worth it in our household.

Good Luck!

Dear M.,

I saw lynns response to you and it is very good. Children get overstimulated and then they cannot go to sleep. They are overtired, and when they get this way, they can't sleep. Almost all childcare centers have the children take a nap at noon for 1 hour.

Before bed feed the child oatmeal or banana. Figure out a reward system for staying in bed. Make sure you have a good night light.

Then follow the proceedure that Lynn laid out of getting them back to bed. No talking, no rubbing, nothing. Just back in bed and repeat as often as needed. With mine, it took her days to finally get the message.

D.

My daughter had a similar problem... I started with rewards (from the dollar store cause you can go broke... kids r smart!!!)
THe first step was whenever she went to bed on time she got a treat the next day... (either a lollypop or a stiker, or something from the dollar store)
After she was finally going to sleep on time we tackled the staying in bed... I would take her to the dollar store the next day and let her choose her own toy, or have a manicure session with mommy (she loved that!!!)
The last step was the most difficult... It was getting her to fall asleep on her own at night (I did't try this until she was 4)... so that I would not have to be in the room 2 extra hours. That is when the SLEEP FAIRY CAME TO LIFE!!! I told her now that you r 4 you are a big girl and there is a Sleep Fairy that will come and give you gifts every time you fall asleep on time, on your own and stay in your bed!
The first night It was difficult but she was excited. I Placed a monitor in her room and told her to call me whenever she needed me but not to get out of bed so she could get a gift. She called about 10 times and cries a little but never left her bed. In the morning the S.F> had left her a note encouraging her... with drawings and stickers and 2 pixie sticks... this was the begining of a good thing. Next night she only called 2 times and fell asleep.Now she is always asking to go to bed on time and it has become such a routine that she enjoys it.... We of course pray or talk about her day for about 2 minutes then I read her a story, and finallly sing One song. THen I kiss her good night... and leave the room. We do leave the door open, have a night light, and still have a monitor in ther JUST IN CASE =-) but it has worked wonders.
Rewards work great a tthis age... lately the S.F. has been busy with other kids and she comes everyonce in a while... last week she just got her a new lunchbox she needed for school... My daughter understands..
GOOD LUCK!!!

I am also a single mom, work full-time, and my son has been like yours since he was born. He is now almost 4. I decided that he and I were too sleep deprived, I was tired of the constant battle every night (and sometimes screaming), so I finally just started letting him sleep with me. We go to bed together at around 9 PM. It works for now and we both feel a lot better! A nurse once said to me, "I don't know why humans are the only mammals that don't sleep with their young."
Take care and hope you both get some sleep.

Hi,
I know this may sound a little crazy, but is it possible she is having nightmares or "night terrors?"
My daughter had this problem, she was a little younger than yours. She didn't want to fall asleep, and when she did, she was up almost every 2 hours. My husband or I would have to get up with her and play for almost an hour before she was tired enough to go back to sleep. If you've put something new in her room, this may be some of the cause.
At the point my daughter had a problem, we were storing our vaccuum in her room, after we figured out she was having the night terror, we took it out and they stopped. She was seeing the vaccuum when she woke up and apparently this made them worse.
My pediatrician also said that we may need to put a sleeping bag next to our bed if she seemed to be having them again, if she sleeps better there a night or two a week, it may be better for your sanity too.
Hope this helps,
S.

M., I had a similar problem with my son when he was 2 (and he had always been a poor sleeper also)I finally bought a really good book called Healthy Sleeps Habits, Happy Child, and tried a technique that was appropriate for his age. First of all, does your daughter nap during the day? Most 3 year olds still need to have 1 nap, between 1-2 hours. If she doesn't nap, then she may be over tired, which makes it harder for her to fall asleep at night. Try moving her bedtime back a little earlier anyway (like by 1/2 hour); if she is waking frequently then she's probably not getting enough restful sleep.
Here's what I tried, and the key is to be consistent.
We did our usual bedtime routine; bath,story, etc. (At that time he would not fall asleep without me laying beside him, and he woke frequently during the night)Then I said good night, turned off the light and left the room. Of course, he was up in a flash. I took his hand, and WITHOUT ANY CONVERSATION, put him back in the bed. He got up again and I returned him to his bed, without saying anything. That first night he probably got out of the bed 30 times, and I quietly returned him each time. I think he finally fell asleep from sheer exhaustion! The next night he got out of bed 2 times, and slept through the night. I continue to employ this technique to this day, and it's very effective. Generally, I put him to bed 1 time, and that's it. The key is to say absolutely nothing when you return your child to the bed. And I mean nothing! No positive or negative comments. If you break down and say something, then that gives your child the reinforcement she needs to keep getting out of the bed.
The first night or two are pretty awful, but if you stay consistent for those couple of nights she will stop waking and getting out of bed. One thing I learned from that book was that my son needed more sleep than he was getting. I actually moved his bedtime back by 45 min to 1 hour and he started sleeping better and longer than before.
Good luck!

First of all Im sending you lots of peaceful energy. How very frustrating your situation sounds. You may have already used some of these suggestions but I'll give them to you anyway. Absolutely no sugar or simple carbs for your child. She seems to have enough of her own natural energy. There is a homeopathic remedy called calms forte for kids. I would give her this along with some sleepytime or just chamomile tea. For kids I find a strong potion of the tea, as in three bags to a small cup - then giving them just a couple of spoonfuls. Again no sugar in the tea. Its going to take a while to rewire her brain to sleep through the night so you may want to establish a routine for dealing with this that isnt too stressful for either one of you. There is calming meditative music for adults - you may see if you like something enough to play over and over again so she associates it with going back to sleep peacefully when she wakes up. The important thing is to establish a peaceful going back to sleep routine ie. a few teaspoons of tea, some music and of course you maintaining as much peace as possible in the process so you stay sane through this difficult time. Take care and let me know how it goes.

L.

M.,

I don't have much experience, my son is only 11 months old. But my aunt (mother of a 21-year-old girl and a 4-year-old boy) gave me a book that helped me get my baby to sleep through the night at 8 months. My son is not particularly difficult, but the book covers sleep disorders and would help you determine if your daughter has a sleeping problem or if you just need to make some changes in her daily routine.

My husband recently left me, so my son and I moved in with my parents. The change has been difficult for my son to adjust to and his sleep has been affected the most. But following the advice in this book is helping me get him back into his routine of sleeping soundly through the night. That is why I recommend it so highly.

The title is: Sleeping Through the Night: How Infants, Toddlers, and Their Parents Can Get a Good Night's Sleep.

The author is Jodi A. Mindell.

Good luck. It looks like you have lots of advice to work with.

-T. Q

I also have a 3yr old she is horrible to goto sleep. I read her a book and tell her that if she stays in bed and goes to sleep she will have another book read the next night. I believe that kids nees something to look forward to. don't worry about 4 yrs old they know better and they just go to sleep

I would recommend Richard Ferber's book 'How to solve your child's sleep problems'. It was a Godsend! Good luck!

Hi i never had that problem with my daughter but im in college studing earlie childhood and in the pass week i learn that maybe your daughter is suffering of separation anxiety because when she goes to sleep your are not with her. I think the only thing its a lot of patient good luck i wish i could help you but if you want to read a little more of separation anxiety it maybe help you

MY DAUGHTER IS 6 YRS. WE HAD A SIMULAR PROBLEM. I MADE NAP EARLY-FOR A LONG TIME I HAD TO TAKE IT COMPLETELY AWAY. I WOULD ALSO LET HER EAT SOMETHING OR DRINK SOME MILK NEAR HER BED TIME TO FILL HER BELLY. EXTRA WARM BATHS WITH LAVENDER FOLLOWED BY A BOOK SNUGGLED IN BED. LAYING DOWN UNTIL SHE FELL ASLEEP. IF SHE WERE TO WAKE UP TEACH HER SHE MUST LAY THERE-ASLEEP OR NOT.

I went through the same problem with my 4 year old son. As much as I had said that I wanted him to fall asleep in his room with maybe soft music playing, that just wasnt working. I am also a single mom so trying to get the right routine down was difficult especially with my younger son needing to go to bed at the same time. I finally adjusted him bedtime so he was up a little later, usually around 9:30 I was putting him in to bed and also let him pick one short movie that he was allowed to watch as long as he stayed in his bed. If he got up, then the movie went off. I also made sure that we had covered every excuse to get up before we even tried to put him to bed. He had his sippy cup of ice water, his favorite stuffed animal, his favorite blanket, and we had read his choice of a bedtime story. After a couple weeks the routine stuck and the sleepless nights ended. Hang in there, it will get better!

Have you made sure she is good and tired before she goes to bed. I know my kids ( 5,7) have a hard time going to sleep as well if we have had to lazy of a day and not enough running... Just a thought.

I agree with the possibility of it being overstimulation. Besides changing her bedtime/nap schedule you can also check into how much sugar she is taking in. The body gets so wired up on sugar that she can't go to sleep even though she is tired. This is very common and very often overlooked as the source of the problem.

Besides the obvious sources such as junk food, soda, candy and sugar cereals, you also have to look out for so called "juices" such as Hi-C, Capri Sun and even Minute Maid fruit punch and fruit drinks, as well as fruit snacks and fruit bars. They have very little fruit (if any, most are fruit flavored) and ALOT of sugar.

If your not already, try and be more aware of her diet and see if reducing how much sugar she is taking in and see if that helps her and YOU get a better night rest!

Best of luck to you!

M., hello...my new daughter-in-law has a 5 year old and had a similar problem she wanted her Mom to be there when she woke up because she always slept with Mom.... so I suggested the reverse method but slowly.... they put a small bed in their room and slowly moved it towards the door into the hallway and it worked even with a new baby in the house...the 5 year old said she wanted out of the hallway into her room so she did not have to hear the baby cry ha ha.....if she just wants you in the room,,, first stop lying in the bed and sit on the edge after a nice story and wait for her to go to sleep and when she wakes up do the same just sit ... she eventually will get the message that you will sit with her and her sleep will become longer as she feels secure... have a simple as per her age reward system if she does not wake or less and less times she does, set a pattern good for you, especially being single.....letting her know you are there is important they all go through that stage,,,I have 5 children and was at the time married and they went through it as well....I hope this works and know this will pass...

M.,
That has to be miserable for you both.
Have you tried a sound machine? There might be startling noises (cars, motorcycles passing, etc.) that are waking your daughter up, and it would help mask those out. We live in downtown Orlando and can't sleep without ours. We even take it with us whenever we travel.

Our middle son was also an extremely light sleeper so I feel your pain. He finally outgrew it.

You might also check with her pediatrician about giving her
a pediatric dose of antihistamine. Does she have breathing problems? Maybe she has a stuffy nose. That would help and help make her drowsy without sedating her. Children's Benadryl is the same ingredient that's in Sominex to help adults fall asleep. Drowsiness is a "good" side effect in this case.

If she doesn't eat well, a B-complex vitamin deficiency might also be factor. The B vitamins are essential for keeping the nervous system healthy. She may just be high-strung, but these things are worth looking into.
Hope you get some good rest soon. Good luck!

I have a 3 year old son that has always had the same problem. Since he was a small toddler he would have trouble going to sleep and then staying asleep. He just has too much anergy and can not calm himself down enough to go to sleep. For the longest time I was talking to his doctor about it and she says that he just has alot of energy. Just after he turned 2 she said that is was ok for me to give him Melatonin. It is an all natural sleep aid. It will help him to get to sleep and then to stay asleep. I buy it at GNC, costs about 6.00 for 120 tablets. It is 1mg and is cherry flavored. His bedtime is 8:00 so I give it to him (1 tablet) after he gets out of the bath about 7:15 to 7:30. By 8 he is ready to sleep. At his last doctors visit I told her it worked great for him and asked how long he could take it for and she said she has had patients that have been on it for 5 or more years. She says that he can take it for as long as he needs to and there would be no side affect. Hope this Helps. Oh, by the way if you do decide to get it don't buy it at Walgreens that one tastes horrible and will not do you any good. Directions say to keep under tongue but my son just chews it and it works just fine.

I have been having the same problem with my daughter and she is 25 months old. I noticed that she was dreaming alot and calling out in her sleep so I think she was waking up many times during the night as a result of her dreams. My husband and I decided to turn her crib into a toddler bed (she was beginning to try to climb out of it) and now if she does wake up she walks into our room and climbs into our bed. I know many people are against this and believe it will start a bad habit but at that age if they are scared or unable to sleep I feel it is best for them to get their rest as well as for the parents. She will occassionally still call out in her sleep while sleeping in our bed but she senses that we are near and stays sleeping. Hopefully this will help. Best of Luck To You.

My 3 year old daughter is the same way. She has always been a horrible sleeper and still is. i talked to my ped. about it and he said that a couple of things that might work is to put a pic of yourself by her bed, to let her watch a movie, or to reward her for going to bed on time and staying in her bed for the whole night. not to discourage you but none of these worked for my daughter but maybe they will work for yours. good luck. E.

Hi M.,
You can give her chamomile tea or tilo tea with milk & honey before bed.These can be gottten at Publix.
Also you can try homeopathy, Chamomillia by Boiron is wonderful, you can give that to her any time during the night and it should relax her. This can be puchased at any Wild oats, Whole foods or the like. There are also many other homeopathic sleep preparations made just for small children you can check out at any healthfood store. good luck.
M.

M.,

Does she still take naps? I am trying to figure this one out. If he has been a horrible sleep since even before she was born, try taking the nap away during the day and see if that makes a difference. At night when you put her to bed tell her it is time for bed and that she is not to come out, if she does just put her right back to bed, no explanation except that it is past her bed time and she is supposed to be sleeping. Some of it seems as if she has problems sleeping and maybe she is looking for attention. Maybe taking naps away will help and then when you do put her to bed at night if you tell her this is it and stand by it she might start sleeping. She will fight it at first because she is used to you getting up with her but my hope is eventually she will start sleeping through the night, if none of this works ask the doctor for some advice on what you can do to get her on a normal sleep schedule.

Does your daughter still take afternoon naps? If so, you may want to eliminate them. I had the same problem with my daughter, and when I stopped her afternoon naps, she easily fell asleep at a reasonable hour. The waking up in the middle of the night continued for a while. I desperately needed a full night's sleep, so I allowed her to sleep on a comforter on the floor in my bedroom if she woke up. This helped tremendously. I had to eventually break her of the habit of sleeping in my room, but it was worth it to be able to get some sleep. I hope this helps.