My Daughter Has Regressed with Her Potty Training. HELP

T., I can't help with the rash but I can with the potty training. My son was almost 4 before he was potty trained. After you get the rash cleared up try this. I asked the pediatrician what to do because my son was going to pre-school and needed to be potty trained. I tried everything. Nothing worked. My pediatrician told me to put the cloth training pants on him with no rubber pants. After they go to the bath room tell them that they need to clean up after themselves. Make them take off their training pants and have them put them in the washer to be washed. It was messy, but it took exactly one day. After having to clean up after themselves, he decided that he didn't want that mess. I hope this helps. Good Luck.
A.

My son did the same thing! He refused to do the #2 in the potty. I talked to the cordinator for his school program because he was getting ready to go to pre school and they recommend they are completly potty trained before they go to school. He finally quit doing it in his pants a week before school started! But he developed a yeast infection. I would definetly call the doctor if the rash is that bad!

T. - I found with both of our kids that giving them a "gift" for using the potty made them want to go and not hold it or soil underwear! That "gift" can consist of getting an M&M or you can purchase cheap things and put them in a box and let them stick their hand in and pull out a "surprise." Since our son was our first he (and my husband) loved hot wheels. So, we'd purchase hot wheels and let him pick which one he wanted. Yep, it got expensive for a short period of time but he learned to use the potty! For our daughter we used bracelets, bubbles, hair bows, dolls, crayons, coloring books etc. All of these things were under $1 and she loved them too! Hang in there!

Hi, T.. I wrote a long message yesterday to someone else re: my former three year old's potty training issues and specifically her reluctance to poop on the potty. I can totally sympathize with you. I just want to reiterate some of the other moms when they spoke of watching out for constipation. My daughter has had this on and off since she was a newborn and it wasn't really an issue until she was three and didn't want to use the potty. She didn't go for several days (due to a combination of things I'm sure) and then wound up with an impaction that reoccured a couple of times. What then transpired was encopresis which you can google, but in our case was seen as many small accidents throughout the day in underwear. Our daughter didn't even know when they happened and everyone was frustrated. Without getting too graphic, this stool seemed particularly toxic and our daughter got a rash from this as well. I bring all this up because I'm in the medical field and learned all about this stuff along time ago in school, but when it happened to my own child, I didn't realize it for several weeks. I felt terrible that I hadn't recognized this actual physiologic issue. Anyway, you want to be proactive if constipation is an problem because kids learn to fear the potty as pooping was painful (at least once) and the cycle continues. Our pediatrician recommended Miralax which can be used safely daily in kids. It takes about three days to get an impaction through and then after that you can use as much as you need (half a capful maybe) for regular BMs. Then when your daughter is painfree and over the fear, she will get back into her usual routine. Hope this helps. Paula

Just start putting her on the potty every hour again, sit in there with her, and read a book. This will allow her to pee on the potty, and within the first day or two, you'll catch her having to poop on there.

T.,
As a pediatric nurse and mom of three I will tell you that regression is completely normal. I have three boys and they all had a regression period between the ages of 3 and 4. My oldest son stated that when he turned 4 he would "poop in the potty." My oldest was completely potty trained by age 2 1/2 but regressed when I had my second child, and my third was not FULLY potty trained (mainly #2) until he was 3years 8months. You pediatrician is a great source for advice, but I do not feel that anything is medically wrong. Perhaps your daughter regressed due to the birth of your son. She wants to still be your baby too. This may also be her way of feeling in control. Perhaps try to give her a little more control over other areas in her life. Be creative, and more importantly show her how special she is everyday.

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What maybe happening, and this happened to my daughter as well, is that she might have needed to go and could not go, when this all started. And now it is just snowballing. Because when she does go it might be hurting her. We had to put my daughter on a laxative, Miralax, for a while. SO it might be something that you need to do. My daughter is now 4 and I just give her a dose once a week to make sure we don't have problems. So it might be a good idea to try that out. If you feel there is still a problem I would call the dr. It is better to get her checked out than to go into the problem that we had with my daughter where she would bleed when she would go. Freaked out both my hubbie and me but it was because it would hurt when she would go and she would hold it back. But personally I would try the Miralax. It takes a couple doses but it works.

I'm not sure what to tell you about getting her to go on the potty (my son was horrible to train), but for the rash try Pink-sax (pronounced "pink salve"). You can get it at Drug Mart or my mom ordered it online. It may stain her underwear, but her little bottom will look better by morning. This is the best rash cream I have ever used. My son's diaper rash was cracked and bleeding and it cleared that up really quickly.

Instead of using salve try using corn starch.It will dry it up and heal it too. I would get to the bottom of her more recent accidents, maybe she has a infection , urinary or bowel that needs attention.

Talk to her pediatrician ASAP. You have the perfect setup for encopresis and you don't want it to develop into that! (trust me... been battling it with my 5 year old for 2 years). It sounds like she's trying to withhold becuase she's afraid it'll hurt. That will lead to constipation, which can lead to encopresis (involuntary soiling - she won't have any control over it). The doc will probably start off suggesting a stool softener like Miralax so it won't hurt to poop. It's safe to use somewhat longterm (many kids with encopresis take it daily for years) and non-habit forming. Give miralax once a day and have her sit on the toilet 15-20 minutes after meals which is when the body's natural gastro-reflex is and it's easiest to poop then.

believe me you are not failing my son had the same problem it was like he scared or tense to go poop on the potty and would only do it at night so i started by lesving him up a little past his bed time and calming the house down and reading some books to him in the middle of reading he always ended up having to go to the bathroom just dont force the issue i learnend it just makes it worse when she does have an accident stay calm and say its ok we will try again next time dont make a big deal out of accidents but really make a big one for going to the potty as for the rash you may need a prescribtion cream from the doc my son had the same problem and that was the only thing that helped oh and if your still using diapers stop i know its even a bigger mess to clean up but i found a diaper kinda gave my son the ok to go in his pants stay patient it takes time my son took him untill he was 4 and a half before we became accident free well we still have a slip up once in a while
best of luck
J.

Call the pediatrician and have him or her check and see if the rash may not be a yeast infection. Yeast infections can get really bad and hurt and bleed like that. I would put her in pull ups until she starts going on the potty again. When she goes potty reward her. It is a matter of time and she will start going again. Some kids regress when they potty train for some unknown reason. She'll get back in the habit though.
D.

I am 31 and have been married for almost 12 yrs. My husband and I have 3 boys ages 10,7 and 4. Both my 7 and 4 yr. olds went through the regression stage with the potty training. It took time but they got it.

Have you asked her why she doesn't want to poop on the toilet? Not be angry, just a curiousity question?
A lot of children regress some, but it is usually when a new baby comes and it is more for attention than any other reason. This sounds like another reason.
When all else fails you can resort to bribery. If there is a special toy she wants, a special treat she is asking for then use it as a tool. If you can go for 1 week without pooping in your pants then we will get the "whatever" or do "whatever". Then when she has gone the week present the item, or trip to the zoo, or whatever it is. If she has an "accident" again right afterwards take the toy back until she earns it again. Then move on to two weeks to obtain the special treat.
Scolding probably won't help. It will add additional pressure to the problem. I don't know about you but I don't have a bowel movement on command, she probably can't either!

P. R

Hi my name is T.. I am a mother and stepmother to 7 total children. And this is just some helpful advice. I think your little one for some reason may seem a little frightened by the whole potty thing. You might try rewarding her with something. Like if she can go all week in the BIG potty, you will take her shopping and she can pick out some new panties. Get excited, clap your hands and tell her how proud you are when she does go potty. Try not to be to harsh if she still has accidents. As for the rash, try putting her in the bathtub in lukewarm water, and sprinkle some baking soda in the tub. Let her play in there til the water starts to get cool. My oldest(who is now 17), had that problem when she was a baby. Her little bottom would bleed. I would just put her in the tub with some toys and let her play. When she got out her bottom looked so much better. Anyway hope and pray everything goes ok. T.

Regression is completely normal in children...when they are under some form of stress. Any form of stress will do it, a change in routin, a sibling recently finding a new found freedom to walk, preschool, summer vacation from preschool, or merely one hard stool can cause enough fear that she won't go again. If you can not think of anything that would be a stressor to her, and can not get her to explain why she does not go or what you can do to help her go on the potty through conversation or role playing, then you may need to seek medical attention. Make sure her stool is soft, if not ask your doctor about what stool softner choices you have. (Prunce juice/apple prune juice/pear juice remains one of our fav's! Safe and more natural) My son is 5, he still has months where he regresses when he is very nervous, stressed or there's any kind of change in his routine. It normally starts with increased bed wetting (we aren't passed hat at all anyways) and then accidents during the day. Learning what the signs of your child feeling some stress are can help you to shorten the amount of accidents. I wish you the best of luck! I throughly DISLIKE accidnets after moving so far forward!

Hi T.! All the other advice sounds great and I have a couple of things to add. I have never had this exact problem with my kids but my daughter has a problem with her bowel movements sometimes so I asked her pediatrician. He gave me a few pointers that really worked. He asked me if I have ever tried sitting on a giant toilet (where my feet don't touch the ground) and tried to poop. Of course my answer was no. We both laughed! He said to always put a stool in front of the toilet so she has a place to put her feet. He also told me to put her on the toilet about 20-30 minutes after every meal. He said that when you eat that it's a natural reflex for you body to empty out. I hope this helps! Good luck!

My daughter has had this same problem for a couple of years. Of course, we ended up dealing with some severe constipation (5 weeks no BM). She still has some of these issues at 5. One thing to look at is if there has been any changes in her life (ie. attending a day care/MDO program, etc.). It may be one way that she is trying to controll something. HOpefully you don't start dealing with constipation, but if you do, Miralax has worked well for my daughter. Watch for her trying to hold the BM and take her quickly. Make her sit until she goes. If her BM's are large, they may be hurting when she goes. Reassure her that if she goes more often, they won't be big and won't hurt. Just take it slow and not stress her too much. It might be enough of an incentive if she doesn't like pull ups to tell her that she will need to wear them if she doesn't stop having accidents. HOpe this helps. Let me know how it goes because I am still there so don't get too frustrated.

I dont know much about the potty training thing yet. My daughter is only 16mths old. But I can help you with the rash on your little one. Soak her bottom in baking soda. I use it in every bath I give my daughter. She was getting bad diaper rash when she would get sick. Now that she gets baking soda baths I never have that problem. Hope you get some use out of this. Good Luck with the potty training.

I would definitely have her checked by your pediatrician. Also, watch her and if you see signs that she needs to go, get her to the potty. Make sure she is not constipated, give her juice, fruit, etc and no carbonated beverages. Hope this helps.

I had the same problem when my daughter was 2 and 1/2 with out the rash. It sounds like you should see a pediatrician regarding the rash especially if it is bleeding. It may hurt her if she is holding in her bowel movements. After her rash is healed this method helped me. Give her 100% fruit juice such as Juicy Juice or Welches Grape Juice at least 2-3 cups per day. Apple is a great juice to get the bowels moving without a sudden effect. Try asking her to just try every half an hour she is awake. When she goes successfully have her put a penny in a jar, after 5 pennies take her to a dollar store and let her pick an inexpensive toy. After doing the 5 pennies about 3 times up it to 10 pennies for a toy. After about a month of it she will get used to having regular bowel movements and urination. I began to stop the penny in the jar after 2-3 months and my daughter didn't care. She is 3 and 1/2 now and likes going to the bathroom now because she can wash her hands when she is done and play in the bubbles and water in the sink briefly. I hope this works for you. Good Luck.