My Daughter HATES to Be Wet...

Matbe she is not ready ! Just try reading the potty book, i did and we made the chart and picked out stickers together too! when she made 2 day's at firt we got candy, then a week we whent to the dollar store to pick ot a toy! Yes i know my son has FRAGILE-X and he is 8 years and he is now potty trained . Thanks to hop consulting,llc

kimberly s.

Try rubber pants over under wear and put onsie shirts on her with jeans. Also try giving her m&m's to go potty Put a jar on the toilet...

I wonder if you daughter isn't displaying some signs of tactile sensitivity or sensory issues. Are there any other tactile sensitivities ... like hates to wear shoes, complains about socks, and tags etc.

If so, some OT or home exercises for tactile defensiveness might be helpful.

(I'm also a mom of a child diagnosed with PDD etc.)

-D. E

Hi, H.; This is J.. My daughter and son were similar to your daughter in the diaper respects. I did tape on the diaper! I taped on to itself, not their skin. You have a smart couple of kids, it looks like! J.

So, the good news is she hasn't picked up the poop and smeared it all over the walls. My Mom loves to tell us about the time my twin sisters were supposed to be taking a nap, but were really making poop picaso's on the wall.
I know this sounds horrible... but duct tape!
Duct tape her diapers on. She's not even 2, thus very likely to not be even close to potty training.
Don't waste your time trying to talk her out of it (peeing/pooping on the carpet.) She's a little to young to get it (or care,) meanwhile your cleaning poop and pee from the carpet. If she asks why you're taping her diapers on, tell her. Eventually she'll learn not to do it.
Wait until she gives you clear signs that she's ready to potty train before trying again.
Good luck - that sounds really aggravating.

Hi There!

Though I don't have any personal experience with removing diapers, my aunt had the same problem with her daughter and the only way she could keep her from removing her diaper was to have her wear overalls a majority of the time. I know it doesn't solve the deeper problem, but it might provide you with a bit of sanity.

Hope this helps (a little :-)

I don't know of a child that does not tear off their diapers at some point. But it sounds like is getting out of hand. When my kids took their diaper off I just kept puttng them on the potty seat. Though some people may say 2 is too young this may be a sign she is ready. Maybe the more you keep putting her on the pot she will eventually get used to it. Every child is different. My oldest was trained by 2 my other two took longer. I wish I had better advice but you surely have your hands full. Good luck!

I know moms who have used duct tape to secure a diaper on a child so it can't come off. Another idea I heard once was to put the diaper on backwards. Most children don't figure out how to rip the tape off that way. I think using harder to remove clothing would also be an option, a onsie or overalls... I've even seen parents put full legnth pagamas (without feet) on backwards so the zipper is in the back and the child can't remove it. All of these things also involve lots of positive reinforcement when she uses the potty. My daughter got cheetos everytime she used the potty and she was trained quite quickly.

Dear H.:

I like the response about big girl panties. You might also try this. When I was training my daughter, I used a tangible reinforcer...m&m's candy. I would take her to her potty chair at regular times to get her to try. Every time she sat and tried, I gave her an m&m. Then when she sat and went potty, I gave her like 5 m&m's. I know some people will disagree with this, but it works. It doesn't have to be candy. It can be something else she likes too, like crackers or something. Good luck.

Do you show her any video tapes on potty training or read her books? It is great that she does not like to be wet- now I would just play the tapes over and over. There is the prudence one and bear in the big blue house so they are fun for kids to watch.
Good luck!

I don't think this has anything to do with the need for entertainment in the bathroom. I think I would try and force her to do one of the other. The only way I can come up with to do this is to put her in a onesie or a one piece jumper. Basically an outfit she can not take off without help. Then she will either have to tell you she has to go then you will put her on the potty to go, or she will go in her diaper and she will not like it. You can then use that opportunity to have the “potty talk” with her. If she refuses to use the potty still…then this summer when it warms up, strip her down to her diaper and let her run around naked and go in the yard. This will help her understand what it would be like to go in the potty and not ever be wet. It sounds like she wants to go in her diaper still because she has control over when and where, but does not like to wear a wet diaper. The two things will mesh soon with a little “experience” on her end.

it's worth a shot...Good luck!

Hi there,
I have a 20 month old that has been taking her diapers off for the last couple months, she will even take all her clothes off to get to it. So I went out and bought pull ups, which worked for a few weeks but she figured out how to take those off as well. However, I have twin nephews that are 3 and they can't figure out how to take them off. So you could give them a try, It might be worth it if it means no more hunts around the house. As for my daughter, when she just will not leave hers on, I'll tape it on her. Sounds bad but it keeps the diaper on and the poop in. But I would deffently try the pull ups, and maybe if you tell her that they are like big girls underwear, it will encourge her.

My kids loved to read books (or pretend to read) at that
age in the bathroom. Maybe if she had her own stash of
kids books or magazines for her to look at?

W. m.

Being a stay at home mommie is super hard work and I know this because I'm one. But I only have 2 little girls. But I've been there and then some with the "poop outta potty" and all I can say is "this too shall pass." I just want to say hang in there and maybe you can get some help a few days out of the week. Do you have any family you can call? Or maybe some good dependable teens that could use a little extra cash? Good Luck!!

Well, as exhausting as it can be to "clean up" after your daughter, it sounds like she's ready to try "Big Girl" Panties. She IS at the age of reason, so she should be able to comprehend that her "Potty" goes into the potty and NOT on the floor. After a few days of trying with panties, thell her that if she can't go potty in the potty, then she'll have to go back to diapers. Don't worrry, she won't want her diapers back.
I remember after my child fell asleep at night, I would "sneak in" and change him into a diaper for the night, just so I could sleep better knowing I wouldn't have to clean another bed! He didn't like finding the diaper in the morning, but he eventually STOPPED wetting his diaper at night, so he could wear underpants and not a diaper.
I truly believe your daughter is ready for potty training. Whether WE are ready or not, sometimes our kids will "tell us" what they're ready for. Especially girls!
Good luck!

Hi H.,
Books can be really helpful. Once Upon a Potty comes in both a boy's and girl's version. Does your daughter give any cues when she needs to go? Thankfully we did not have this issue (we had others!), but remember that, at that age and while still in diapers, he would walk off to the corner to poop in his diaper. If she has any cues that you can pick up on, perhaps you can catch her right before the act and get her to the potty. Of course, you can't spend every minute watching her. Hmmm. Maybe a sticker chart? You could several rows of seven boxes. For each day that there is no pee or poop somewhere other than her diapers or her potty (don't force the potty if she doen't want to use it yet -- trust me on this one!) she could get a sticker she likes on her chart. She could even go with you to pick out stickers she likes. Maybe give her a small reward (a coin purse, a small toy, a ball -- not sure what she likes) the first day she gets a sticker and give her lots of praise. Then, explain to her that when she gets a row of stickers (a week of no pee or poo in inappropriate places), she will get a bigger reward (a stuffed animal?). Be sure to praise her for each day she gets a sticker (though not as much as the first time so that she learns that her behavior is expected and appreciated but not "special"). If this strategy works, she will form a habit and no longer need stickers and rewards, at least not every time. Try not to be too upset when she makes a mistake, though having her continue to help w/ clean-up is good. Our son's sticker chart was a lifesaver!
Good luck!!!
K.

Your daughter is definitely not too young! The behaviors she is exhibiting is readiness to potty train, she just isn't comfortable using the potty yet and as one mom mentioned, she may have control issues. My daughter also cannot stand to be wet and this started at about 20 months and she was fully trained within two weeks.

We watched Bear in the Big Blue House on potty training and read lots of books about potty training. Especially "Once Upon a Potty" by Alona Frankel. Be sure to get the right one because there is a boys and a girls version. This clearly shows the transition from diapers to using the potty.

Some people are not comfortable with this, but I let her watch me use the potty, wipe, and then she would flush for me and we would wash hands. I told her that our bodies made the poo poo and pee pee from leftover food/liquid like garbage and that we had to get rid of it. Going potty in your pants is yucky, but babies have to use a diaper and when you get bigger, you learn to use the potty. I equated trash to the garbage can and potty to the toilet.

My daughter also got m&m's as a reward for using the potty; one in each hand while I took care of wiping because 20 months is too young for this and you will have to help her out until 2 1/2 or even 3. I did not give m&m's unless she used the potty, but since your daughter is having issues, you may want to encourage by giving her one just for trying.

We didn't use a sticker chart at home, but they did at her daycare. If she likes stickers go for it!

I would also take her to the store and show her all of the pretty panties and buy her a couple packets with her favorite characters on them and one packet of plain ones. Start out with the fun ones and keep reminding her to use the potty so she doesn't get "Cinderella" or whoever wet. If she refuses, switch to plain panites and then back to daipers...tape them on or use overalls, onesies, backwards jammies, whatever. If she is having accidents, but is heading to the potty keep giving her chances with the pretty panties and keep reminding her.

Remind her every half hour or so at first, every hour as she starts to make it and so on. After she has something to drink, remind her that it will make her have to go pee pee so that she knows to expect it after drinking liquids. Soon she will be doing it on her own.

You may have to wait on nighttime training. I did...a 20 month old child is not ready to go ptty alone at night. We used diapers until she resisted since "babies use diapers" and then went to Pullups. She is 3 now and wakes up and navigates her way to our room at night, so we are going to begin night training.

Hi, H.!

As a temporary precaution, I suggest using bodysuits (onesies) under her shirt and pants. These will hopefully be difficult for her to undo and if you see her running around in it with the rest of her clothes off, then you can talk with her. Stay strong...keep trying and she will eventually be ready. We have a poster in our bathroom next to my daughter's potty and she places stickers on it every time she uses it. We're not 100% yet but we're still trying.

Keep smiling...
A.

Hi H.,

If you have a couple of days alone with her (son at school?) try letting her go without the diaper. That way she won't be able to keep up the go-in-the-diaper-then-take-it-off routine.

It's interesting that you said she put the poop in the potty, because that is exactly what I would suggest you do. Each time she goes in the diaper, take her to the bathroom, help her remove the diaper and put the poop in the potty. If you want her to use the little chair, put it there, if you want her on the big potty put it there. Basically make it look like she went in whichever potty. Have her sit on the potty (she may have a little more in there), then flush (or dump then flush) it away and say "bye bye."

It sounds like she wants to stop wearing a diaper, but hasn't quite made the connection between being diaper-free and using the potty. This might help.

Try overalls. And try to teach her sign language, so she can tell you when she's wet, dirty, or wants to be changed.

Duct tape works great!
I think she is a tad too young to officially potty train - but you could try potty fire drills. Set a timer for 30 minutes and when it dings tell her it's the potty bell and it's time to run to the potty. Talk her through every thing you're doing "take off your pants, now your diaper...etc." & then give her a toy or story book to keep her entertained. My mom turned the sink fawcet on a dribble to inspire us to pee. It works but now I have to pee whenever I hear water & so do my brothers.
Anyway - don't wait for her to notice she has to go - she's too young to care or understand until it's already happened.
make it a routine especially if you know approx. when she poops - 20 minutes after lunch, etc.
She sounds really smart - she'll eventually see the benefit of using the potty.
Good Luck!
A.

hello H..

I think the sensation of something falling out of their bodies is just too wierd. The book that helped was "What to Expect When You Go to the Potty". The entire series of kids What to Expect books were terrific.

What I did was tell him that his body didn't need it & it belonged in the toilet. Of course, then he wanted to know where it went from there, so we had to study sewage systems. ;)

My son needed to know that it was OK to let it just fall right out, that sometimes the water splashes, that he didn't need to keep it. That was the way our bodies worked to throw away the 'garbage' when we're done.

I know, too technical for some, but that's what worked here. I hope you & your family find what works for you soon.

best of luck, J..

There could be two issues going on here. One is potty training readiness (other responses have covered this) and the other could be getting some attention. You say your son needs extra attention and it could be that our daughter just wants some of that. I would suggest finding a way to give her 1/2 hour of solid attention...reading, playing, whatever. I'm a single mom with two daughters (2 years apart) that almost constantly compete for my attention and have found this to be VERY effective from the time my youngest was born.

Adversity to being wet or poopy is usually a good sign the child will be willing to potty train ... but it seems that she is not really quite there yet. I suggest dressing her in clothes that will be difficult to impossible for her to remove herself, which at least will keep her from stripping the diaper without your help: maybe overalls, onesies, footed pajamas, etc. That way her only relief from the dirty diaper is to either have you change her or to ask you for the potty.
Good luck!

reciently I heard that you can hang pictures in the bathroom near the potty of other children using it and how it works(photo copy the pages out of a potty training book), this is supost to let them see how its done and make them want to copy the other children.

I have also heard that if you can dedicate about 2 or so days just to watching you daughter around the house try stripping her down and letting her be naked for a couple of days with no diaper. Pulling off the diaper might have become a game to her and with out it she might not like the way it feels when she has to go to the bathroom with out it making her want to use the potty instead. I dont know if this will work with her since she does prefer to take it off anyway but it may eliminate your reaction to her taking it off making it no fun.

good luck! Potty training isnt easy!
Kryssi