My Daughter Hits Herself............... - Port Saint Lucie,FL

Hi T.,
When my daughter (thumb sucker-different thread) was 2-3 y/o, she's 9 now, but she would, for whatever reason, climb on top of whatever-couch, coffee table, chair, and just throw herself to the floor. My mother came over one day, and saw all the bruises and SWORE I was beating her. When I told her what was going on, she called me a liar and if she saw 1 more mark on her, she was calling DCFS. Well, a few weeks went by, my mother came over for a visit (thank goodness those are few & far between...lol) and notcied she had a black eye that was still healing, well, when she was done yelling at me, she went to the phone, as she dialed, Amanda came bouncing out of her room, climbed up on the coffee table and threw herself on the floor. She got up, did it again. My mother just stood there with her mouth hanging open. She hung up the phone...lol But anyhoo, Amanda did finally grow out of that by the age of 4.
Now my 18 month old, Olivia, when she gets mad or is told she did something bad, she pulls her hair. She just started doing this a couple of months ago. She doesn't always do it.
T.

Hi,
My son did the same thing. He still hits himself sometimes - especially when he is frustrated. I think you're handling the situation better than you think you are. And definitely, if you think it's a problem, call her Pediatrician.

L.

My son is just over 2 and he used to do something similar... he would pull on his bottom jaw when he was mad. I would tell him he was gonna hurt himself and to be nice but when kids are that upset i find they don't really listen. I know this might not be much help but I let him do it, he eventually cut his tongue with his nails and when a lil blodd got on his hands he stopped...quickly! He hasn't done it since. Since your child is just slappin herself I would say she'll slap a lil harder then she intends to one day and that will be the end of it. Just ride it out, she's just wanting you to baby her...once she can see it's only hurtung her face she'll get over it.

My daughter is now two but she used to do that all the time. She would do it just as yours, usually when I would tell her not to do something or she would get frustrated. I think she saw it bothered me more than it bothered her so I finally gave no reaction when she did it. I acted like it was nothing and took the attitude that she was hurting herself and not me (even though I hated to see her do that). A couple of weeks later she stopped doing it because she got no reaction from us. I would try completely ignoring it as we did, it worked for us.

Hi T.,

My daughter, too, used to hit herself like that. Even when a stranger would approach her (she does not like strangers) she would start to hit herself. I, like you tried just about everything to make her stop, but to no avail. She has just about grown out of it, though (she is 22 mos. now).

So the best advice I can give you is to just let her grow out of it. Good luck!

C. Y.

While I would definitely recommend speaking with your pediatrician about your daughter's behavior, a quick solution is to give her a pillow to hit instead of herself.

My son has this problem occassionally. We have a special pillow that he hits when he gets frustrated or really angry over something.

Thank you for this post. My daughter is doing the same she turns 1 Friday. I am glad to see a lot of mothers went through the same thing.

Thank you so much for posting this. My daughter will be 2 on Wed and she does the same thing. My mom thought that someone did something to her and thats why she was doing it. Im so glad that my daughter isnt the only one

Hi T. -

You're going through a very common phase with children this age. My son at one felt that he couldn't express all of his frustrations effectively, so banging his head on the wall was an immediate way of getting us to show him some attention. During one particularly bad bout, he hit his head so hard that he stopped, said, "OUCH!", and never did it again. Sometimes it takes a little "hard knocks" lesson for kids to learn not to hurt themselves. If your daughter goes to daycare, I can tell you that its much better for her to be hitting herself out of frustration than to hit other kids. Teachers and parents really freak out about that kind of aggressive behavior. I say keep reinforcing her to be gentle with herself and others and just let time run its course. She'll eventually grow out of it.

Blessings to you and yours.

Hi T.
my name is D. and when my 4 yearold was one he would get mad if i told him no and would walk over to the wall and would start hitting his head on the wall his doctor told me that alot of children do different things like this to them selfs without really hurting themselfs its there way of saying they are mad because they cant speak and actually asy im mad or upset i know this maynot make you fell better but please know she will grow out of it the older she gets and the more she can express her self good luck

When I am angry, I don't want to be "NICE". You are controlling everything that I do. I'm bad for pulling the dogs tail, so I'll punish myself to make you happy. When I'm angry I need to exert some physical reaction and you won't let me hit the dog, besides, I'm closer.
Teach her that you are the mom and when she makes a bad choice you will be the one to punish her, she doesn't get to do it herself. Try teaching her to clap her hands really hard. When you get angry about something say to your child, "I am angry.", and then clap your hands. Then when you see her get angry tell her to clap her hands. Sometimes we forget that anger and frustration are real emotions that even kids have to master. When she is mad, even if its at you, its ok, she's allowed to be mad, she just has to control her anger, not suffocate it. Like how some give pillows, I give claps. She is still hitting herself, but it teaches her about her own strength, and she chooses when to stop, after she's calmed down.

When my son was about your daughter's age he used to lie down and start banging his head against the floor or wall.
I believe this is a stage many children go through. Just keep doing what you're doing showing her that she shouldn't hit herself. As long as she's not hurting herself, I'd say it will pass.

If you are really concerned for her safety, I'd speak to her pediatrician.

I hope everything works out for you guys,
N.

My daughter is 17 months and she punches herself in the face too- but she doesn't do it to try and hurt herself. She thinks it's funny for some reason! I think it's because her dad pretends to teach her to "box."

But, from what I've learned from my pediatrician- hitting is to get attention of any kind. When Leah was hitting me, he told me to just firmly tell her no and walk away, put her down if I was holding her, etc. That way, she learned she couldn't get attention from hitting me. It actually worked because she doesn't hit me anymore.

Hi T.,

My grandson hit himself in the face too when he was mad (usually when someone told him to stop doing something) when he was 2. When my daughter told him to stop, he seemed to do it more, like attention seeking. She paid less attention to it, and he finally stopped. I'm not sure if it was a phase, or if he stopped because he didn't get what he wanted. I don't know if ignoring her will work for your daughter. Perhaps you could point out that she is pretty, and shouldn't slap herself, or whatever might motivate her, in addition to not being nice, and then just back off if she continues, and see if ignoring it helps. I don't think she really doesn't like herself, she probably doesn't like the situation, and is doing something about it that she thinks won't get her into trouble. As she gets older, she will develop other ways to deal with her anger and frustration.

mire used to as well when she turned one. it was either hit herself or bang her head on the floor. that's how they express frustration. i didn't find anything to help with this but time corrected it itself. so just be patient and when she hits herself ignore her, she wants your attention by doing this and if you talk to her at the time she got just exactly what she wanted, and if you ignore it and she will do it for a little while longer until she realizes it isn't getting mom's attention and she will drop the whole thing. at 1 and 2 yrs old of age there isn't reasoning with them, it's more action-reaction. so be patient and it will go away
good luck
V.

Hi there! I am definitly not a doctor but I saw a special on HBO about kids suffering with Turretz (spelling?). A lot of the kids had certain little ticks, one being when they were angry hitting themselves. Well, just trying to be helpful. I wish you luck in helping you daughter through this. Take Care!