My Daughter's 5Th Birthday

I'm just going to say that as the grandmother of eight grandchildren, I DO NOT feel the need to attend a huge party every year for their birthdays. I guess it stems from my own childhood where we were never thrown a birthday party. We were taught that it's not a national holiday and a few gifts, dinner, cake and ice cream with family was enough.

Don't feel guilty - there is nothing to feel guilty over. Just do the smaller kid friend birthday and let all the relatives off the hook!

It really doesn't cost to have a party. People make sure a big to do and it's not needed.

You go to the park stay at home or a friends house that will host the party and you buy a cake, something to drink, ice cream if you want it, and you invite everyone that you want. The cake will cost less than $30 and the other stuff is an option.

Do not make goodie bags for the guests, that's the silliest fad ever. Giving a present to the guests? Silly.

Don't do a bunch of crafts or go to a place where games are or rent a room anywhere. Birthday parties are all about the child and NOT about the party.

One year I just took my 3 kids plus one of their best friends to Build A Bear and then to a cupcake place in the mall. They LOVED It and it was about $100 and everyone got an animal and clothes (there happen to be a special promotion at the time). No goodie bags since they get bears

We don't have family here so I usually do friend parties. Hire a professional facepainter, buy a craft or two and a cake and have x # of friends dropped off. That isn't terrible expensive either cake and goodies and your done. Parents in my neighborhood will generally just drop the kids off at my house.

I won't do the movie at a theater just yet - you don't know that they'll all sit through it. What if kids keep having to go to the bathroom.

A movie party at your house is another inexpensive idea. Frozen or whatever just a few friends.

Our extended family is way too big to hold family birthday parties (we literally would be having or going to someone's party every other weekend if we did that LOL!) so I have generally gone by the old school rule, child's age = ideal number of guests.
Usually in K to 1st or 2nd they had about 6 to 8 friends, from then on somewhere between 8 and 12.
I never let them invite everyone they wanted to. I love, love, love having parties for my kids but I don't love the chaos and drama that often comes with a huge crowd.
I also rarely served a meal. We did cake, punch and light snacks between 2 and 4. Kids are having way too much fun to sit down and eat a meal anyway, so why do all that work? Pinatas are always a hit, and the candy becomes their favor/goody bag, so that's easy.
Keep it simple and have fun, that's what it's all about!

Different things work for different families, but what I've done -- since my son turned 4 -- was invite about 10 kids, plus my mom (son's grandma) and one cousin close in age. If that feels overwhelming, you can also do a destination party -- where you schedule it somewhere (Build-A-Bear, etc.), pay a fee, send out some invites, and that's all you have to do.

I've done both.

Age 1 was all about family and friends (huge). Nothing but cake for age 2. Age 3 was some family and preschool friends (average size). I went all our for 4 not sure why, but felt like it. Age 5 we went to Disneyland (car ride away for us).

Have her pick one or two friends and take them to the latest kids movie at matinee price. Get popcorn and a drink and call it good. Stop by a bakery and they pick out a cupcake.

OR have her pick a friend and go get a manicure/pedicure. Stop by a bakery and they each pick out a cupcake.

Both are very simple and cheaper than pizza,drinks paper products and goodie bags for a big group.

Then invite your big family over on a different night for just cake and punch. Call it good.

Home party. One child for each year. So five kids and birthday girl. Keep it simple. A craft, maybe lunch, cake, ice cream. Wala! Done.

We always do a family party with grandparents and the immediate family. by 5 we were done doing parties with friends of our family but did do some kindergarten friends parties. its to hard to do parties with friends and family they get to big. and cost to much.

In my experience, kids don't really like the big blow-out parties - too much confusion and overstimulation. And friends don't really like them because it creates this competition and pressure to be sure everyone invites the entire world to their parties, which then turn into giant gift extravaganzas. Truthfully, a huge party at an expensive venue and 50 people with 50 gifts is way over the top. Then next week it's someone else's turn. By the time the year is done, everyone has been invited to 25 parties (with a gift of $25 per party) for people they don't dearly love. Kids get cranky, parents go broke, and the only people who are really happy are the ones who run Chuck E. Cheese or the bouncy house place.

She's 5? She invites 5 friends. You have a home party with cake and pizza or cupcakes and hamburgers. You play some simple games like potato races (get a library book on "old fashioned" party games - kids love them!), maybe get a piñata, and call it a day after 2 hours. You will be delighted that you fought the trend and didn't get sucked into the overdone party thing!

pizza and a movie.
a day at the zoo.
a kiddie manicure
a make a bear party
a day at the amusement park
ice skating
roller rink
pumpkin/ apple picking & a hay ride.

Anything that would be a fun outing, but a bit more expensive that you would be apt to do on a regular basis can be a great time.

F. B.

Once my kids were old enough to have their own friends we stopped doing the family parties. They have a friend party, and only invite their closest friends who they regularly play with outside of school, so usually less than 10 kids. At that age we did things like mini-golf or bowling. My husband and I would each be responsible for 4 or 5 kids. The food was either provided by the venue, or I ordered pizza. I make my own cupcakes. Didn't have to worry about clean up.

My extended family is very large so there's no way to do birthdays (not
cost effective).
Instead our kids' parties are intimate w/just immediate family & 2 friends
from the neighborhood court if they so choose.
I will continue to do this small gathering w/2 friends from the court until
they get older & want to go do something w/a few friends of their
choosing (lunch & shopping for the girls & video game truck, indoor
sporting place for the boys etc.).
At age 5, I would make it small.
Then when she ets older let her pick an activity of her choosing (a kids
play, tea party @ a fancy tea place, pottery painting etc.).

I would forgo the friends and have the relatives only. Why do we, in this country, put friends before family?

That is why as we age, our families disintegrate. We set it up that way.