My Four Week Old's Sleeping Habits

Please seek help from www.babywhisperer.com They have lots of moms there who are very wonderful and helpful for this exact situation.

Their stomachs are pretty small, so they get hungry, especially when they are breastfeeding. They also can feel like they're falling cause they've been curled up inside mommy for so long - now everything's so OPEN! Make sure you feed her before bedtime, and try swaddling - they have swaddlers at Target and babiesRus - I used the ones that just velcro around the arms and the legs are in a little pouch. All babies are different - some sleep really well, really soon. Some don't. It's a bear!

Good luck!

M.,

Sorry to say it, but welcome to motherhood. There will be somedays that you just can't see straight! You need to find someone that you can help you either at night or during the day just so you can get some good sound sleep even if it is just for 4 hours. You will feel like a million dollars. Best of luck and it's hard now, but enjoy this stage because it goes by really fast and then you will be tired from chasing him all over the house. Motherhood is hard, but so exciting and rewarding. I have a 3 year old and 1 year old and I still just fall in bed at night from being so tired.

The Miracle Blanket. You can order it online or look at their link to see where you can buy it locally. I see you live in Arlington, and they do sell it at the Brownstone Shops- that's where my mom picked up one for me.
It is MUCH better than the ones at Target that use velcro. Those get streched out and the baby can escape from them.
As soon as we wrap our baby in The Miracle Blanket, she calms down. It is her cue that it's bedtime. Just make sure to wrap really tight and that you follow the directions for the arms. It takes a little to get used to the wrapping, but you get the hang of it quickly.

Are you breast feeding? the first six weeks of my baby's life were the most tired I have ever been EVER! I was a zombie. I (am a very happy person) remember getting a depressed feeling almost every night when it would start to get dark because I knew it meant another sleepless night for me. I didn't know the human body could survive on so little sleep-but, you can, and you will. It gets better.
Do you have someone who can help you? once or twice a week my sister would come over and sleep on my couch with the bassinet next to her (she is a business owner who works 15-18 hour days). when the baby would wake up, she would change her diaper, bring her to me so I could breast feed, and then she would take the baby back to the bassinet to sleep. those one or two nights a week gave me that little bit of extra sleep so I didn't go over the edge.
Hang in there it really does get better.
I was on my own too by the way. you CAN do it!
noelle

Read the latest edition of the book BABYWISE. Its amazing! Being sleep deprived isnt good for you physically or mentally. And of course its not good for your baby either! This book shows you how to get on a routine and has lots of other tips too. It definately worked for me!

Hi M.!
If you are nursing, please don't blame your milk supply or worry about that. The only way a woman can not produce enough milk is if she has had breast augmentation or has taken certain medications. It's very rare, and many parents panic and think that they aren't producing enough when they are doing just fine (and nursing helps prevent sids).

At 4 weeks, your baby will wake often. I've always thought of it as a good thing. When they are so young, sleeping long periods of time is not normal. In the US, we have such a huge preference for "training" our children to conform to what we want instead of allowing them to develop as nature intended.

Babies sleep cycles are much shorter than adults, but they spend more time in REM sleep, which is necessary for their brain development (this is one of the reasons I would never do any sort of sleep training). At about 6 weeks, babies will start sleeping longer stretches. Keep answering his cries right away, so that he doesn't get used to having to wake fully. You will notice he is sleeping longer and longer stretches. By the time he is 3 months old, he may start sleeping 4-5 hour stretches. This is NORMAL! Just keep reminding yourself that this is normal and how he develops, and he will grow out of it soon.

If your son is actually screaming a lot, there could be another problem. My son was born with reflux, and he screamed constantly and didn't sleep. Reflux is easily treated with an antacid prescribed by the pediatrician. If you feel that he is crying more than normal for a baby, during the day as well, you could be dealing with reflux. A baby with reflux does not like lying down all the way because it causes the acid to come up more and is painful.

Hi M.! Congrats on the new baby. There is nothing like the 1st one. Try and enjoy it even during this trying time. If you are nursing, you will not produce enough milk if you are not eating and sleeping well. It's okay for the little guy to cry some, but if he is hungry you might need to consider supplementing with a bottle as others have suggested. Mine "slept through the night" (7 hours) by the time they were 4 weeks (for my son) and 6 weeks (for my twin girls), so it is possible so don't let anyone convince you you have to wait 3-6 months before he sleeps through the night. If you know he has eaten enough, then feel free to pop a binky in his mouth to stretch him out between feedings. You can reach over half asleep and give that too him and even help hold it in. This is how I stretched mine by about 30 minutes each night until we got to 7 hours straight. Good luck! It is okay for him to cry some...I promise! :)

Hi M.,
I'm a new mom too. I'm also 24 :) My little girl did the same thing. She would wake up about every 2 hours. Some moms told me to just let her cry, because she was only waking up out of habit. I couldn't do that. :) It gets better though. At 12 weeks old, she started sleeping through the night and to date, she sleeps for a good 8 hours a night. She also did not sleep through the night until I put her in her own room. My pedi doc told me that she knew that we were in the room and that if we would move her out, she would probably start sleeping and we did, and that first night she slept 7 hours. I totally understand what you are going through.

Read Babywise.. best thing I have ever done for my daughter. Also, think about purchasing the miracle blanket. I have one and I get every one of my friends who are having a baby one. You can get them on amazon.com. Also make sure his room is dark and that he has some white noise in the background... like a humidifier humming is what we use. Good Luck!

Hi, first of all I wanted to say congrats on your little bundle. I was also 24 when I had my first and remember feeling the same way. I'm now 26 and have two lil ones. The sleeping habits of your 4 week old are completely normal for his age and unfortunately it is super exhausting. So first of all if you have the help of someone to help you out do not be afraid to ask and take advantage of it, sleep. I always felt obligated to try to do everything even when visitors came over but now I know that you must limit your activities to just the baby and sleeping at least for the first 6 weeks, your body needs that time to recover. What I highly recommend and what I did the second time around was breastfeeding. I'm not sure if you are or aren't but it was a godsend. I would breastfeed laying down with my baby so I would just sleep while she feed or suckled on the breast, it kept her pacified. It was amazing I never lost a wink of sleep throughout the night and whenever she got hungry she would roll towards me and I would just give her the breast, no having to get up and prepare and warm bottles. If you are not breastfeeding you can still induce your milk to flow, I would suggest contacting a local La Leche League lactation consultant. (just google la leche league, its free help) Remember you baby is still trying to get used to being outside the womb. So the things you can do for a newborn are to co-sleep and breastfeed, it gives him comfort, warmth, and food quickly. Less crying = less stress and lack of sleep for mom. I would also suggest a baby carrier for during the daytime. keep your head up and I know its tough but this time will pass.

I promise that you are doing a GREAT job being a new Mama- it is HARD! The first six weeks are really tough and you wonder why you didn't get the baby in the formula ad- the one who sleeps in a bassinet next to his relaxed mom on the couch- reading magazines, no less. That baby doesn't exist, and yours is totally normal.

I was so scared to sleep with such a tiny thing in my bed, but having him fall asleep on me, or in my arms worked. I would then lie down in the bed and ease him into a CHANGING PAD with a softy cover on it. IT WORKED- he seemed to sleep longer because I was right there, and when he woke up (just about 2 hours) I could feel him with out waking up too much. I felt that he was safe in the changing pad because I couldn't roll over on him.
I know you are SO tired and exhausted. Please have a friend come stay with you as often as possible and ASK for help. You and your son deserve the emotional and physical support.

I've been there (and will be there again in January). I just wanted to say you aren't alone (lack of sleep makes me moody and prone to tears), the first few months are the hardest, and then sleeping patterns will get better- even if he continues to be a poor sleeper he won't be THIS bad for long. He may be hitting a growth spurt causing him to be hungry more often. Hang in there. Keep in mind too that your hormones are likely off balance still, that doesn't help, but at least you know what's going on. I ended up on an antidepressant for awhile, but then got off when I realized all I really needed was some sleep! I was so tired I insisted my husband call me from work at least twice to make sure I was alive!

If you aren't doing so already, try swaddling him. Also, make sure that he's taking full feedings, not snacks, when he does wake. Young babies often drift off to sleep at the breast, before they've taken a full feeding. If that happens, wake him back up by undressing him, playing with his feet, tickling his chin, etc. Also, make sure you aren't running to him at the first whimper ... babies often make noises while settling themselves back to sleep. If he's just saying "eh eh eh" and not screaming, then I would wait a few minutes before picking him up. If all that doesn't work, and assuming you don't smoke, drink, or take any medications that would make you sleepy, you can try bringing him to bed with you. I was scared to do that with my first, but I brought my second to bed with me between the ages of 4 weeks - 15 weeks, and I was much better rested for it. If you don't want it to be a long term habit, I would stop it relatively early, but it may help you get through the first couple months. Good luck!

If you are breastfeeding and he is sleeping for longer periods in the day he may have his days and nights mixed up. My youngest went through this. I woke him up every 2 hrs during the day to feed. He then slept at longer periods at night. It was as if he was waking up frequently during the night to catch up on his feedings. It took a couple of days but it did work. Good luck.
C.

Welcome to the world of parenting a newborn!

It sometimes doesn't seem fair that while we're trying to recover from the oreal of birth, we get no time to rest because we now must care for this new life!

Every newborn is different but what you mention is within the scope of "normal" for a newborn. You don't mention if he's sleeping longer during the day? If so, then probably he still hasn't gotten his nights and days figured out. And if you're breastfeeding, than 1 1/2 to 2 hours is fairly normal between feedings. If you're formula feeding, how much is he eating per feeding? My eldest daughter was what a call a "snacker" because she would never take a decent amount in one feeding so I wound up doing lots of small feedings. My second child was always starving . . . she would eat a lot, but still be hungry 1 1/2 hours later! Both times, I thought I would lose my mind because it seemed I could never get any rest. My third child was probably the most "normal" . . .that was a nice break!

It will take many weeks before any type of routine starts to kick in. With my three children, it was usually after about 3 months. And it can seem like forever when you're that exhausted, I know!

Ask your husband to share the evening rounds, and don't feel guilty that he has to go to work the next day . . . you're working, too, as a new mom which is by far the hardest (and most rewarding) job there is! If you're breastfeeding, then start pumping so your husband can feed in the night while you sleep. And do you have any nearby family or friends who can come for a couple of hours during the day, so you can catch some extra sleep?

Hang in there . . .

Hi M.. It sounds like you have good advice already. I just wanted to let you know that we have all had a time like this, at one point or another. Hang in there, these times do pass. However, you might have a trusted friend come over so you can take a NAP. All moms need one. :) Good luck to you and your new baby.

Hi M., I am a certified educator with "The Happiest Baby On The Block". You can give me a call and I can give you some advise. I can come to your home and give you a two hour course in the amazing baby calming technique. It really works! I'm sure it doesn't have anything to do with your milk supply. Your baby is doing what is normal at this stage, but you can get the baby to sleep longer by doing just a few very simple things. It is hard to explain here, but I can tell you more about it when you call. My number is ###-###-####.
For the first few months, your baby is crying for a valid reason.

This is pretty normal both for your baby and for your feelings! I suggest hanging in there and maybe getting help for just a few hours so you can get consecutive hours of sleep. You will be surprised what your body can handle. I did a lot of crying the first two months but it gets better, the hormones even out and they do sleep.

check out the book babywise. if you can both learn to get on a schedule in a few short months he will be sleeping through the night and you both will be more rested. he will be a happier baby and you will be a better mom! so many people come on here when their children are 3 asking how to get them to sleep in their own beds and all night! you are in a perfect place to get started right. both of my children were sleeping all through the night (well 11 to 5) in their own beds at 12 weeks. one of the first things (and very important) you have teach your child as a parent is how to self sooth at night and sleep on their own. a skill they will need for the rest of their lives!! good luck.

For most babies the duration of sleep is directly related to the amount of milk they're eating. So you should find out how many ounces your child needs to be eating at 4 weeks, then find out how much milk they are ingesting. You didn't mention if you nurse or bottle or combo, but I think that you are nursing if he is waking every 1.5 hours. It is still possible that your boy isn't getting enough milk from the breast - that's what happened to us. We supplemented the nursing with a bottle. After nursing, offer him a bottle of whatever amount he should be having and see if he is interested. It turned out for us that my wife just wasn't producing the amount of milk that our boy needed. At 1.5 hours or less of sleep, that's just not healthy for you or your baby and it sounds like the effects are starting to show.

Our baby finally began sleeping longer stretches at night when we started swaddling her with a SwaddleMe blanket. They have them at Target and BabiesRUs.

I hope this doesn't mean you are nursing every hour and a half! That is what I did. I never produced enough milk and didn't realize that was even possible. The first five weeks were simply horrible. I finally realized he was not getting enough to eat and gave him a bottle. He slept for five hours straight.
He was starving.
I'm assuming you've called the pediatrician? If not and it isn't food, give them a call.

No newborn sleeps alot. Make sure he's eating enough before he doses off, and try to get as much family help as possible! If you're breastfeeding, just lay down with him and pass out right along, if not, monitor his intake, and if it's not enough, discuss with his doc. He should be taking at least 2oz-4oz with each feeding by now.

Hang in there Mama! This is the worst time...up until about 6 weeks. His sleeping habits seem to be normal for his age. Keep breastfeeding on demand if you are nursing. I tried to nurse my boy every hour for the few hours before his bedtime to make sure he was full. Also give him an early bedtime like around 7pm - research shows that babies sleep longer with early bedtime. Try a white noise machine or even a static radio station or classical music on low. Have a night light in the room and keep the lights low when he wakes up for diaper change and feeding. Swaddling is great and so is wearing the baby in a sling or wrap. I slept many nights with my son in the rocking chair - so long as they are in a safe position on your lap or cradled in a sling. Keeping him upright over your shoulder after burping for about 10 to 15 min can also help digestion so he doesn't wake up from gas. Answer his crys at night as soon as possible to avoid him waking totally up to minimize your time awake. It's hard not to feel alone even with daddy around if you are breastfeeding because you alone can comfort and feed the baby....BUT this time with your son is chemically good for you too research shows. Just remember this is a short time in his total life and you are the one who gets to have all the snuggles and smiles. The Baby Book by William and Martha Sears has lots of good sleep strategies that don't involve crying it out (because that is so h*** o* the babies and moms too). Also kellymom.com is a great website. It will get better soon! My son is 1 and still wakes me up a lot especially when teething - just part of being a mom.

M.,

I know this isn't what you wanted to hear, but that's normal for an infant. It does get better tho! Hang in there! I have a 6-wk old and she gets up every 2 hours to nurse. It can be exhausting, but just know that this too will end. I know that may be easy to say, I do have my husband help when he can, but he can't feed her and most of the time it's just too much trouble to get him up and ask him to rock or change her diaper. I went back to work 3 weeks ago, and sleep can be a challenge. I know we're all pulling for you, but please believe it will get better...soon. God Bless you and you're little one!

Can you afford a post partum doula?

I would highly reccomend you hiring one for a few hours a week to help you through this hump. Its hard being a parent, much less a single parent- great job mama!

If you want some referrals let me know and I'll pass your info along.

I am a birth doula and don't do post partum work, but I have lots of friends who do! If $$ is an issue ( & when isnt it?:) I can try to find you a pp doula in training.

M.,
I would also like to recommend The Miracle Blanket! I found out about it when my daughter was 6 weeks old, and it worked like MAGIC! I buy this blanket for everyone now, because it is the best swaddling blanket. If you go to their website, you can watch the quick video on how it works. I highly recommend it. Worth the money!
Also, a book that really helped me was called "Twelve hours sleep by twelve weeks". I ordered it off of Amazon, after being referred to it by a nurse. I have the BEST little sleeper (now 3 years old) and I truly believe it was both that book and the blanket that helped my little one achieve solid sleep success at an early age. Good luck and enjoy the sleepy nights! They pass very quickly and you'll be missing these early weeks with your newborn.
L.

you may already have tons of responses. i had my first in march. what worked for me was a swaddle blanket called a miracle blanket. he screamed like crazy the first few times i put him in it. however, i think he slept about 5 hours the first night i put him in it (around week 5). he was sleeping throught the night (10PM - 7AM) by nine weeks. combine that w/a book called babywise which promotes scheduling and we have had a breeze w/the sleeping. hope that helps.