My Four Year Old Is Having a Hard Time in School

Have you tried teaching the letters phonically instead? Don't know why but kids pick it up easier if you do the sound instead , my daughter is 4 (5 in Dec) and is in the pre k year at preschool and she still struggles a little , but she can go through the sounds of the alphabet as quick as anything.

for one thing, some kids take longer to learn to read then others. Not all kids can be readers at 4. He probably isn't interested in it because he hasn't seen a reason for it yet. Do you sing the alphabet song with him while you guys point out letters? My kids like to play a game where they would point out the letters on signs they saw through the day.

I found writing the letters as we said them to be helpful. I am really good at writing upper case letters upsidedown because of this. *grin* I would also recommend Starfall.com. its a great learn to read website that is free. Its easy for children to use and does a great job teaching the letters and sounds. it also will move onto learning to actually read once the child knows their letters. Its a great website and I recommend it to everyone.

I agreed wholeheartedly with Catharina! He has PLENTY of time, and sounds like he's well on his way. I bet if you backed off just a little, the process will go a little easier.

Imagine 'studying' or 'homework' at 4 yrs old! Good heavens, let him just play, that's how they learn best.

Enjoy him!

I am 50 and I learned the alphabet and reading in 1st grade at age 7. I went on to get an Applied Physics Degree and read thrillers and detectives for my relaxation. I think everything is pushed down to way too young nowadays. So what if he does not know his letters, he is in PRE-school, which is supposed to only teach kids how to follow a classroom routine, not any kind of academics. Yes I know kids who can read at 4, my nephew could read and tell time and draw with perspective at 4, he is also on the highly functioning autism scale. Let your little guy be a kid and have fun. As long as he is enjoying being with other kids, able to leave you, and able to BEGIN to follow a classroom routine (stop one thing and start another when they tell him to) then I would think he is doing very well. He has MANY years ahead of him to do academics. We all did OK with learning all that stuff a lot later. I think kids need time to be kids. By pushing too hard you may just give him an inferiority complex before he is even cognitively ready. Enjoy these years since they fly way too fast.

Your little guy may not have the needed cognitive development for some of these operations yet. Or he may not be getting them in a way that connects well with his optimal learning style (google Learning Styles for tests and tips on how to take best advantage of each child's preferred style – here are two good sites: http://people.usd.edu/~bwjames/tut/learning-style/ and http://homeworktips.about.com/od/homeworkhelp/a/learnings...

If you're drilling him on more than one color or letter a day, he may be overwhelmed, which will shut down his motivation and ability to process your questions. Lots of kids don't have easy familiarity with the alphabet or even colors and shapes at four. Some kids struggle with letter recognition well into their elementary years. They will eventually get there if they don't get discouraged first, so find out what works comfortably. Picking a letter out of a whole bunch is apparently not so good for him. That would be hard for lots of 4yo's to do.

I would try starfall.com, like the previous poster mentioned and also the Leap Frog Letter Factory video. You can probably find it in your local library. It teaches the letters and their sounds using some fun songs.

As far as having him evaluated, I would ask your pediatrician what they think. I'm not sure at what age they start to get concerned about learning disabilities. Is he a young 4? If so, I don't think I would be quite so worried. Boys tend to be a little slower at these things sometimes because their attention spans are usually shorter (not always, but normally...they're just busier and more physical!). Try using things like blocks and general play to teach colors instead of flash cards. My daughter learned them all because we had blocks with the letters on them and as we were playing, I would just talk about them. Same thing with colors. I would just ask her what color ball she was holding (or block, or car, or train...whatever their interested in). Flash cards can be boring, so try to be creative in how you're "teaching" him these skills. He can play and learn at the same time and not even realize it! Definitely bring it up to your pediatrician and see how he does over the next few months. You might be surprised how much progress he makes being in a more formal setting at school.

Good luck!

Might be nothing...might be something. But when it comes to things like cognition I prefer to err on the side of caution. Either way when you continue to expose him (to learn) you are only helping him. For all you know he may be a gifted child who is simply uninterested in the methods of which he is being taught.

I have a child with developmental delays. When I voiced my concern when she was 18 mos only 1 person said to have her evaluated. Everyone else implied that I was overacting. I followed my gut and had her checked. I figured if there is nothing wrong ... no harm done. In her case there was something.

My child is also 4. She took on to animals and colors fairly quick but has difficulty with letters. I had some sand paper letters. I have her trace the letters with her fingers and only introduce 3 letters at the most during any given time. When she has mastered them I introduce 3 more and reintroduce the 3 she had mastered previously. She likes to feel them so it holds her interest a little longer.

Flashcards can sometimes be such a drag so just incorporate his exposure in everything you do. "Grab me a yellow shirt from your closet." "Pick up your green socks." This way it does not feel like work.

Colors should be pretty spontaneous at this age. Typically colors are learned at 2. I would wonder about color blindness. Try exposing him to the same color things and ask him to name it. Like "...this is a yellow crayon can you pick out all the other things that are also yellow?"

Bottom line is you are the best advocate for your child. The first 5 years are the best times for learning. You never know all this concern is for naught and soon enough he will be spitting out all that knowledge everyone had been feeding him.

Best to you,
D.

Hi I am an elementary school principal. Please don't use flashcards instead play games with your son. Games like Chutes and Ladders, Memory, Candy Land etc have ways you can play a game and he can use the information rather than memorize it. He probably is not developmentally ready for what you are trying to do. There is nothing that you should be concerned about. Playing is more fun and a better way for him to learn anyway because he isn't just memorizing but is using the information to play.

You need to read to him and make him interested in words... this is why reading to them when they are little babies is so important. Dr Seuss books are fun to read and very colorful. Hop on Pop is a good one, read it with silliness and point out the letters to him as you go along. Lots of times they will have you read the same book over and over and over, thus making it easier for you to get them to start recognizing the letters and you teach them the sounds that each one makes. Teachers cannot do this alone, it really does start at home. It's not too late, so pull out the books Mommy. Have some drawing paper and teach him how to write his name, show him the letters in his name that match the letters in the story you may be reading to him. It will all come together eventually, but it does take practice and tons of repetition.
Always read to your baby. It's the best starter thing you can do for their learning ability later.

Hi C.,
You have gotten some really good advice. One thing that really helped both my boys was the LeapFrog Talking Letters DVD. They loved it! They'd watch for fun, all the while learning letters and their sounds. Then we'd sing the cute little song in the car, store, etc. "The A says aaaa, the A says aaa, every letter makes a sound, the A says aaaa!" Great, now I'll be singing that in my head all day! ;-)

I hope you find some thing that works for you!

he might have a slight learning disability. he might have dyslexia or it might just be that he is board with it. try making it a game or really exciting and fun. the slow speed that you are teaching him might be getting on his nerves too. i would go ahead and have him tested so you can either rule out that being the issue or figure out how to teach him at his pace. good luck.

I agree you may want to have him tested for color blindness, many people with color blindness can't distinguish blue from brown. Also you may want to get a preschool works\book or some flashcards with pictures. to help the association between words and letters.

He may just be too young. You didn't say if he just turned four or if he will be five soon. Big difference between fall and spring birthdays. Boys don't mature a fast as girls. And why does he need to know the alphabet already? Why is he being pushed so hard? Pre-school - in my opinion - is the time to learn social rules, etc., not to be reading and writing. Their eye-hand coordination isn't there yet. If you are worried, you might get him tested for dyslexia or something like that. I'm sure they'll run a battery of tests. Good luck!

Maybe he's just not ready? If he is there everyday, maybe consider scaling back a day or two? I homeschool my 4 year old and we do "school" for an hour or hour and a half and then he's done. If I see that he just doesn't want to and that what we are doing is a chore for him, I stop. I try to use variety and make it fun, playing while learning. I give him a lot of opportunities to free play as well. He will grasp it when he's ready. God bless.

Being that he is 4 your school district can provide a free evalutation to see if there is dyslexia/dysgraphia or possibly he is just young and this is normal. An eval may put your mind at ease or if something comes up all the therapy will be free to get him ready for kinder.

Good luck,
DH

Flashcards are really not the best choice for a 4yo. Things like songs, movement, and interactive activities are what is needed. My daughter learned her colors through songs and games. For example, she sings a little song that goes "R-E-D red..." We love the LeapFrog "Letter Factory" video, and I know public schools who use the DVD with their Pre-K and kindergartens. Many preschools and kindergartens show a flashcard with an alphabet letter but then chant a rhyme, dance, and make sign language signs as they say the letter name. I hope these examples are helpful to you...

I would have your son testing. If and I say IF, they is a problem the earlier it is corrected the better. You can put him on a program that will make is easier for him to learn what he need to learn. If he doesnt have any problems learning then at least your mind is at ease.

Is this is first formal schooling experience? Did he just recently turn 4? At this age, being a 'young' Pre-K can make a big difference. I agree with the other posters who advised you to play rather than using flashcards or other very 'school-like' teaching aids. I don't know if it is an option, but you may want to look into a preschool that espouses a Learning Through Play philosophy rather than traditional, rigid, sit-down-and-do-this-worksheet philosophy. All three of my children went to Learning Through Play preschools and they've all done extremely well in school, but they had a fantastic time in preschool because even though they were learning, they just played and played and played. I think your son might not be 'ready' for everything you and the school are asking of him, and you may be going about 'teaching' him the wrong way for him. Every child is different--some love flashcards and worksheets, others are bored by them and need more stimulation to learn. Games, field trips (even if it is just a walk through your neighborhood), etc. are all great teaching tools. He needs to be having fun in order to really learn. I think the fact that he can tell you A is the first letter in the word apple is huge. He is definitely on the right track and I would try and change what you, and possibly the school, are doing before jumping to the conclusion that there is something wrong with him.

I don't think flash cards are the answer. Not very interesting or fun for your child. Try to make learning fun! Have him learn through playing. Color and paint with different colors. Ask him what color he is using. What color is he going to paint the sun? 2-piece matching puzzles that he has to match the lower and uppercase letters. Read to him. I think if you make it fun and not like a drill he will be more interested. Also, remember he is just 4. It's great for him to know some of his letters and colors but these concepts will be taught and reviewed in kindergarten.

I would back off and let him learn at his own pace. He'll get it...he's only 4! Some kids learn sooner than others; even if he doesn't know that stuff until he's much older, he'll be ok. Making a big deal of it seems like it will just stress him out, not facilitate learning.

Try a different teaching method. Small children learn best when they are engaged, not shown flash cards. Try taking him to an art museum and showing him bold modern art, talking about the colors used in the paintings.
Have him watch Sesame Street or Leap Frog Letter Factory video. Help him write his name in different colors after watching it, sounding out each letter as he writes it.

Good luck! That is such a fun age for teaching colors and letters!

I bet he is marvelous at something else. Playing catch, soccer, singing. Every kid has their thing. Throw away the flashcards. Seemingly back off the academics for now, pursue his interests, lavish him with praise, and yes, get him tested. The pediatrician can probably recommend a child psychologist or other professional who can perform the appropriate testing. After they assess his aptitudes you can start your search for the perfect educational situation for him. The current one may not be the right fit. Best wishes!

It's PRE-K!!! He's a little young. Does he know how to spell his name? Does he recognize the letters in his name? I realized during Pre-K that my son did not know how to spell his name or recognize those letters- so that is what we worked on. Forget flash cards-boring! Especially for little boys. Have an "A" day- find things that are "A"s. I used to hide little toys that started with A in the dining room and we would hunt for them. Then i would hide index cards with mostly As but also some with a different letter on them, and he would have to bring me just the As. Get a page out of a magazine or newspaper ( larger print is easier-or print a page on the computer!) and have him circle the As. Go outside on the driveway and write the biggest As you can on the driveway-and the tiniest ones-with sidewalk chalk. As you drive look for As on the signs, look for As on menus. Once he has As down then move on to other letters.
My son was soooo slow on this-his Pre-K teacher even suggested holding him back at the end of the year, even though he is a January birthday. She was concerned he might totally fall behind in his reading by 2nd grade. Turns out he just didn't like her, so he wasn't willing to work with her! Personality clash. I didn't really realize he was reading so well until second grade, when he whipped through a small chapter book. He has since consistently made As in English, scored in the 98 percentile on Iowa Skills tests for language, vocabulary, spelling. He always was in the top ten for the school spelling bee. He always made commended on his ELA TAKS tests. And he says "ELA has always come easy for me, but History is my passion." so he's good at it, it's just not interesting to him. Now math is another story and the Pre-K teacher may have just been focusing on the wrong subject-because he cannot do math-but the reading and letter recognition came, it just came slower.
My second is Dyslexic and she was SOOOO smart in Pre-K. Most dyslexics are very smart. She could get the letters and easily spell her name, and she could recognize fonts on DVD covers to tell you which movie was inside. (I would cover up the pictures and show her the spine of DVD boxes and just from the font she could name the movie at age 3.) At two she could recite the entire Cinderella Golden Book-33pages of small print- word for word. But in Kindergarten I realized she wasn't really getting the reading thing. The books were so easy she could pretty much tell what the words were supposed to be from the pictures and the beginning letters-she could guess her way through an entire book. But I KNEW, just somehow I KNEW. Teachers said maybe developmental, but I knew. She was too smart to have it be developmental. I could just tell she wasn't reading like kids learn to read.
So I think in your gut you know when things aren't right. But I also think that in Pre-K, especially for a boy, it's a little too early to worry. Try presenting stuff in a more interesting way and see if you get a better result. If I were a 4 year old boy, the last thing I would want to do is flash cards. Geez! NO ONE wants to do flash cards!
Good luck.

Have you thought of testing him for color-blindness? That could be part of the problem. There are different degrees and he might see some colors as the same. Also it kind of sounds like some of the dysgraphia problems 2 of my sons had.