Dear J.,
The only solution to mending your dry, brittle, over worked hair is; (and, I hate to have to be the one to say "I told you so.")
GROW IT OUT!!!!
Believe it or not, your natural, curly, healthy hair will again shine, but only if you stop using dye products. And hair sprays, and gels, and a lot of other products full of rubbing alcohol. Yes, rubbing alcohol! No wonder your hair is so dry, hey? Many products just arnt good for your hair. Period.
After you get through the bravery it takes to grow out the existing product (dye) that is currently plauging you with bad hair days, your hair, I promise you, will look its best, so long as you never mention the word "Clairol" to a single strand of it again.
Dont waste your money on expensive salon shampoos... Get what you like from Wal*Mart. (Tresseme is good.) And, I always wash and rinse my hair with cool water. Stimulates the scalp. Heat is not good on hair, stop blow drying and using a curling iron if possible.
Good Luck... Been There! I havnt had a bad hair day since I went natural almost 7 years ago. No bad days, now thats something to look forward to while your growing it out! The curls will come back, mine did. Along with the shine, and the bounce, and the compliments!
C. M.