My Kid Broke Something Expensive What to Do?!

Personally I would buy a comparable TV and have it delivered. Don't mess with the money at all and just replace what was lost.

How much is it going to cost to replace the TV? If that type is no longer available, a comparable one. That's what you pay. Sorry.

He could get an awesome big flat screen for 1200. I wouldn't do any more than that. Im sorry his tv isn't a collectors item and will not be one for a hundred years. The people stopped making them because there is bigger and better. I would ask him the size of the tv and tell him you will replace it with the exact same size. I don't care what he bought it for. I bought a new flat screen when they first came out. Spent a fortune on it, its def not worth that now since I know I can get 3x the size for what we originally paid.

Have you offered to simply buy him a comparable tv? How much it originally sold for or how much he paid for it is not relevant. The cost to replace it is what matters.

I'm confused. In what reality are tv's collector's items. You can't give away tv's with picture tubes .... Not saying that's what he has, but collector's items? Really?

Offer him replacement value which is all he would get in court anyway. Write him a check even, and call it a day. There is a chance that a court would give him nothing because he allows it and your son lets the dogs out.

I am all for taking responsibility but that would be what he could get for the TV before it was broken, not what he wishes it was worth. There is no such thing as a collector TV

Simple. Have BIL shop for TVs of comparable size/features and you give him the money for it (minus the $300 they owe you). There is no such thing as a collector's item for TVs. Give me a break.

Even if you *could* find the exact same model he had, the technology is old now. 6 year old TVs are old technology, no matter how nice of a TV it was when he bought it. You could look up similar models yourself, but really, he needs to do it in order to be satisfied of the price for a replacement of comparable quality/features.
When he finds the model that's comparable, price it out at several vendors (including delivery if necessary) and write him a check.
Do not allow your son over there any more.

An old TV is a "collector's item"? Bwahahahahaaa! That's the funniest line of BS I've heard all morning! The company stopped making them because the technology is obsolete and they come out with new models every year. Buy him a TV that has the same features as the old one. You might not find the exact model, but you should be able to find one that does the same thing. Your BIL's logic is WAY off. It's a 6yr old TV, your offer is fair. You owe him "replacement value".

The "who is responsible" thing is another issue. Maybe no more video games while your son is at your sister's. If he's only there for an hour, it shouldn't be too difficult for him to read a book instead.

It seems like your son isn't mature enough to stay alone, until he can control his tantrums over a video game. I'd cancel that plan right away, or change things. Your BIL isn't responsible for your son's rules - you are. He's your son.

Determine the size of your BIL's tv, and the basic features (HD, etc). Price those out and purchase one. And make your son earn a significant percentage of the price, even if it takes a year. If he must go to that house, he can walk the dogs and do homework. No more video games at all. Have your sister remove the controller when she leaves for work and take it with her in the car or lock it in a safe. And ask her if they inquired about homeowner's insurance.

Your BIL needs to learn a lesson about economics, and your son needs to learn a lesson about accountability. He's obviously too young to play an unsupervised video game. He just proved that.

I was on your side 100% UNTIL you wrote that this is partially your brother in laws fault because he is doing you and your son a favor by letting your son go to his house unsupervised and knows your son "gets emotional" when playing video games. I'm in shock how you view this problem. This is your sons problem 100%. Your the mom and should have made the ultimate decision if your son was too irresponsible to play video games because he has no self control over possibly destructing someone else's property.

I hope you take away video games for a very long time from your son and have him write an apology letter and work this debt off.

Assuming that your BIL is of average intelligence, he's a crook. Your BIL deserves nothing more than the fair market value of his old TV from a legal perspective. At most, I would replace his old TV with a new one with same/similar features. Nothing more.

I would also stay the heck away from him. Your BIL revealed his true character. He is not a person with integrity. I would not want my kids around that.

What? He is either crazy, dumb or trying to take advantage.

A six year old TV can be replaced by better technology for less than he paid, even at the lower price. Doesn't everyone know that? Electronics aren't collectors items, they lose value the minute you purchase them.

It's not clear if your kid is going to their house to let the dogs out as a favor to them or if it's convenient for you to pick him up there. No child that has such a crazy tantrum they break a TV should be left alone for any amount of time IMO. I'd make some adjustments in his after school plan.

It was an accident, but one that was the fault of your son, so you are right that you should pay. Now that said, expecting you to pay what they paid 6 years ago is ridiculous, you should only need to replace the tv with a comparable model. Since it is clear he thinks the tv is worth more I would consider offering him $500 and excusing his debt, but I would no longer allow my child to go walk his dog after school (which I assume he was doing for free, which is something many people pay for).

Pay the man and don't quibble about the price.
Stop trying to deflect blame onto your brother in law - he doesn't have to let your kid come into his house at all - and he's doing you a favor by letting him have a place to go.
At 9 yrs old, you need to have a conversation with your son about self control and him getting some.
Toddlers have tantrums - a 9 yr old should be over that a LONG time ago.
No more playing video games at your brother in laws house - just attend to/play with the dogs and wait for you to pick him up.
Or better yet, get him into an after school program where he's better supervised until you can come get him.

IMHO, You are solely responsible for the entire thing. If YOU know that your son cannot play video games without throwing a tantrum (very sad, BTW), then YOU should have told him that no matter what BIL says, he is not to play the video games. Your son should know by now that YOU are the ultimate authority. And if you think your BIL shoulders some responsibility because he let you son be in his house, would you prefer it if they didn't allow him in? Seems like this arrangement is beneficial to you so your son as somewhere to go after school. If that's not the case, then start having him go home after school and don't allow him to go to your BILs house. Bottom line, it is your child; YOU did not forbid the video games; you are responsible.

As for the cost, I think I would simply replace the tv with the same like/kind. I know you can't get the same manufacturer, but something of the same size, with the same features. I don't think tvs are collector's items.

You research the specs on the old tv and find out what the same brand new with similar specs goes for today. I'd tell your sister you will purchase and have delivered that tv, or you will give them the $ amount of that tv plus tax/delivery. Tell her that is your only offer(I'd make a note of day/time and the particular tv in case they go the legal route to show that you did attempt to resolve this, I'd also email the info recapping the phone conversation to further cover yourself). Additionally, I'd forgive the $300 loan for their troubles and in the interest of regaining family harmony. Thirdly, and most importantly, it seems that you are delusional to a degree about your sons problem... This is NOT normal behavior. I'd be MORTIFIED if my 9 year old son did that. He needs a looooooooooooong break from video games, I'd say 6 months minimum. I'd spend that time having him work off the cost of that tv, apologizing for his extremely immature behavior, and probably getting him some professional help. This isn't an isolated incident, and if he allows a video game to frustrate him to the point of breaking someone else's property, he's got some serious impulse/rage issues I'd get addressed before he hurts someone. And obviously no more being unsupervised, he's clearly not mature enough, and it sounds like you knew that beforehand. Good luck and I hope you're able to get everything resolved.

you see this kind of stuff on Judge Judy all the time, people wanted what they originally paid for something......... Judy NEVER gives it to them... and would make the plaintiff bring estimates.. which is what I think your BIL should do.. he should get three for a similar model and then present these legitimate estimates to you.... you going out and doing it, won't suffice.. although that is nice of you...
in terms of what you would or wouldn't buy... that is your choice and their choice was the t.v..... but again, he 'd never get full price in court...

From watching Judge Judy I know he would only be owed the value of the TV now. So $480. I think offering $500 or $600 is generous. That's to replace what your son broke with something comparable.

Mmm...perhaps you should charge a 25% interest rate on the $300 loan you provided to him😉

Seriously though, you are only obligated to give him the replacement value of the TV. Your BIL sounds like a real piece of work and a crook.

His TV was worth $4000 and cost him $2000. It had a long life ahead of it. Our tv was $700 bought 6 years ago and it's still going strong. Your brother obviously highly values TV and invested in a very expensive one, and now no one has the money to replace it.

When we offer to let people use things, there is always the chance of them breaking. Someone could trip, fall, knock it over...whatever. Or it could randomly conk out when someone else is watching it. But your son broke it with a tantrum? Not cool.

If my child broke something this expensive, especially due to bad behavior at an age where he can control himself, I'd offer to buy a comparable new TV, DROP the $300 if the new TV isn't quite as nice, plus a heartfelt apology AND have your son do his yard work for a while or something since it's probably not your son who's going to be paying for the TV with his allowance. He needs a consequence for this damage and behavior.

Would you feel justified offering a few hundred bucks and an apology if this was a friend's house? Or is it just because it's family that you think you should not owe the replacement value of what was broken? $500 or $600 minus $300 is giving him too little for breaking a very expensive item. He can't buy a new TV for $200. And you're using the TV like a babysitter, so you should be willing to replace. If you can find someone actually selling it for $480, then buy it.

I think you give him the $700. If that's what something new and comparable runs.

If he wants to upgrade so he has the newest and greatest, he can spend the difference.

Is there an option to have it repaired? That would probably be my first course of action.

As for your son going over there and playing video games unsupervised, and being responsible for dogs ... if he's not mature enough for this (might not be) this kind of thing could all be avoided by finding another child care solution. And it might be better for family relations long term. Just a thought.

good luck :)

Welcome to mamapedia!!

Now go out and buy your sister and brother in law a TV that is the same size and has the same features as the one they had.

Your son broke it. You fix it.

Don't fight over this. Don't compare apples to oranges. The TV was NOT going to be replaced anytime soon by them, correct? Your son broke it. If this had been a store, you would have paid for it.

If you have home owners insurance? Make the claim. Personally? I wouldn't. But really?! You are willing to cause on-going tensions because you believe the TV isn't worth that much?? Too bad. Bite the bullet and buy a new TV - apologize for your son's err and move on.

Even the most basic research (Consumer Reports at the local library is a good place to look) will show BIL that right now he can get a much better TV, brand new, for a fraction of what his $1,700 bought him six years ago. The new one will have more capabilities and an infinitely better picture quality and he can get one for anywhere from $400 to $1,000. We just replaced a TV and got a terrific one (with built-in Roku and a huge screen) for under $400 at one of the many, many big sales that electronics stores constantly run.

His claims of "It was a collector's item and you should pay me what I paid six years ago" either shows he's utterly ignorant of the fact that TV technology improves about every five minutes, or he's aware of that but is trying to squeeze as much cash out of you as he can. He would get a better TV for less than his desired $1,700 and then keep the rest of the cash. In fact, I wouldn't give him cash at all but once you settle on the amount, he'd get it as a gift card to whatever electronics store he chooses (Best Buy, etc.).

I would go get that research; copy pages showing other, new TVs and circle what you'll buy to replace the one your son broke. I do think you need to replace his TV as it's a total loss and it's clearly your son's fault. But it sounds as if BIL is out to punish you beyond just having you replace his TV.

If he continues to be a jerk, tell him to ask his insurance agent what insurance will give him on that TV. (Just asking does not commit him to filing a claim on the insurance.) You could offer to pay whatever the insurance would have paid and leave it at that. He will hate it but it's at least a yardstick to use, something to point to as having an outside authority tell him the value of his depreciated TV. (By the way, any chance he filed for insurance AND also wants money from you? He sounds like he might be that kind of guy....)

One other thing. You mention that "BIL should be accepting partial responsibility for my kid being in his house." Though BIL was dumb not to believe you when you said son might not do well with gaming unsupervised, that doesn't alter the fact that the responsibility here is on your son. Unfortunately, even if your son has said he's sorry a thousand times, if he so much as drops a drinking glass at their house after this, he's going to incur uncle's wrath, so I'd stop the arrangement where he goes to their house, or alter it so that he's there less time, or has to do chores when he's there to "work off" some of his responsibility for the damage. (But I'd still pay whatever amount is agreed on for the TV--a kid of 10 would take years to work off hundreds and hundreds of dollars; the point would be son taking responsibility and doing useful things in their house to show he is sorry and acknowledges what he did.) And I'd talk with your sister if I were you -- don't make her a go-between for you dealing with BIL, but do let her know that you don't want this to come between you and her. She probably agrees with you that BIL is being punitive and petty but she's in a tough position and might like to hear from you that you realize she's caught in the middle, and you will deal with just BIL on the money issue. It would be a pity if this became a rift between you and her since you're close.

i say you get a comparable tv and let it go. if he is wanting more than that he is greedy.

He should get replacement value, not resale value. Tell him you will work with him to find a comparable TV and will purchase it for him.

find a similar sized and type of tv - so if it was an lcd sony 56 inch tv look up that kind at current value, if it was a smart tv that would be worth more, so for instance, my tv is a 46 inch sony bravia smart tv, we bought it for 3K, back in January 2012. It's not sold any more, but a similar sized sony bravia 50 inch 3d ready tv is 700 for the new version. So if my nephew broke our tv I would expect to be given at least half that much, so since they owe you 300, I think giving them another 300 would be more then generous and pretty much pay for a new tv with today's technology. Basically use the internet to find the same brand, same style tv and offer to pay the majority of that -I used amazon for my pricing.

Doesn't matter what he paid, its what the replacement cost is now. This isn't an opportunity for him to get full value on an old TV. Sorry technology on TVs has changed in the last 6 years. He knows this he's just trying to take advantage of the situation.

Also, your son IS responsible. If your child can't play games without having a tantrum, he should NOT be allowed to play. He needs to learn control. This wasn't his home, his TV nor his game. He needs to have some consequences regarding this as well.

You are responsible because your kid did it. You owe him a replacement TV - eg, you get him a new TV of the same size and type (eg, if it was a flatscreen, you buy a flatscreen, if it was a Sony, you buy a Sony) that was broken regardless of the cost. And then he still owes you $300.

If he wants basically the same TV that was broken (an old TV), you can probably get one on Craiglist for $100, because old TV's aren't worth anything. The collector's item line he's giving you is bull. You are doing him a favor in buying a new one, because the technology is so much better now.

Your BIL is nuts. He's trying to get a new TV out of you by claiming that something is a "collector's item" because it's no longer made. No, it's an obsolete TV.

You're trying to excuse your son's impulse control issues by saying he's walking dogs for free and shouldn't be playing video games when he gets emotional and your BIL knows this.

Your son should not be playing video games unsupervised. He's 10, he's excitable, he's not 100% controllable. Your BIL is clueless about kids and what the definition of "supervision" is. If your kid is there to walk the dog, he's not there to play video games. He can do his homework or have a snack, but he can't use the TV or the microwave or the toaster oven. He's 10.

Those who refer to Judge Judy and similar adjudicators are correct - your BIL would not get the full replacement value, but he would get the actual value. I think you're better off buying a comparable set, used, off of Craigslist or eBay - prices have gone down a lot in 6 years as the technology becomes more affordable. No way he should get a new set for $4K but no way you should think he can get a new TV for the value of the old one. Probably you should split the difference since there is fault on both sides.

Normally I would say to separate out the $300 owed and make the transactions separate, but this group sounds like they hold grudges and I doubt you'll resolve it that way.

Whatever it cost to replace the TV with the same or of equal value. It is not a $4000 or even a $2000 TV anymore...he really needs to stop. What is he? Hard up for money. If this is his character consider going a step further and make better arrangements for your child too. $700 is more than enough if that's what a new replacement costs. If you decide to deduct the $300 he owes you that's your choice. I do know my family would never do this and I would also insist on replacing it with what I could afford and my Bro. Would be cool with that. Some folks are just wrong. Good luck!

The tv we have in the living room is a 42" LCD. It was $500 on sale a few years ago, the retail price was $900. That exact same TV isn't made now, but I could get a similar 42" LCD for $350 regular retail price.

I would look up current models of TVs that most closely match the size, type and features of his broken TV. Then you will know what is reasonable. The retail price of the similar model minus the $300 they owe you.

(Your BIL can't use this as an opportunity to have you pay for an upgrade in size or to get the latest technology.)

I know your mama instincts say to go on the defensive, but don't. Your son's tantrum is the reason for the breakage, but it is not an *excuse*, nor is the behavior the responsibility of the property owner. Unless you had forbidden the game playing and BIL didn't obey you, you don't have a valid legal argument about fault.

You may have to nix the video games for awhile while he learns some coping skills for his emotional state. My kids had a friend that loves video games as they do, but when he was aged 7/8 he used to get so angry when playing if it was difficult. We had to have a 'no gaming' rule when that child came over until he was older and mellowed out.

If you're not sure how to help your little dude on your own, I can't say enough good things about behavioral therapy for kids who can be high strung. It can teach kids how to recognize their feelings, notice when they are shifting for the worse, and back them up. Coping skills and self-regulation are things they can use not only when gaming at home, but with life in general. Give it some thought for your son. It makes life better for the kid as well as those around him.

If I filed an insurance claim for this, they would give me the replacement cost, not what was paid. I remember when the new TVs first came out. They were so expensive. Now, you can get a TV for $500 or less. For him to expect $1700 or anything that high is ridiculous. The TVs built this yr will be out of sync with technology next year. The only collectible TVs are from 1950.

I agree with others that you can get a better TV now for less money than you could 6 years ago. How about you get the specs for that TV and buy a new one with the same specs. Or offer to buy one slightly better. Whatever you decide make sure your son works his butt off making money to pay you back. This is his responsibility. No 10 year old needs to lose their temper and break a TV...he's too old for that. He needs to now work for it and start earning money. He can wash cars in the neighborhood, walk dogs, rake leaves, pull weeds, etc.

You should cover current replacement cost for a comparable model today. Fortunately prices on tvs have plummeted and you can get a great one (way better than what he had) for less than he paid.

You need to replace what was lost. Nothing more, nothing less. if that's 700, then give them 400.

What he paid is really irrelevant...what does it cost to replace? My thoughts are that you should cover the cost to replace it. I realize you can't get that tv again unless you find someone with one they want to get rid of but can you get a brand new one of the same size? If so, I think I would go to the store with them and find a few options for them to pick from.

Make this a separate transaction from the previous $300 they owe...but if this does create a rift then you may never see that money.

I would also stop having your son walk to their house...let them worry about their own dogs. I would also expect your son (in addition to apologizing) to do something to help with the cost of the replacement (do some extra odd jobs at home and/or for others).

I'd find him a replacement TV that is the same size and make and model if possible and show it to him and tell him you'll buy it outright and that's it.

Your son was at his house unsupervised at age 9? I'd not let my kid do that in any situation so it wouldn't happen to me. Otherwise the adult in the home is the one in charge and is the one that should be monitoring what goes on. If they aren't home then they shouldn't be allowing a child to be there unsupervised.

Since both of you left this kid to fend for himself both of you should work together to fix this issue. I'd show him I found a replacement and tell him that you'll do that. Then he's got his TV back and nothing is different. If he can go buy it or a TV that's very similar for just hundreds of dollars what's he going to do with the rest? Buy more toys for himself?

Considering how much less TV's cost now I am sure you can find them a comparable replacement and be done. I would not pay the half of what they originally paid since it was 6 years old. Tell your brother in law that modern electronics are not collectors items and do not go up in value.

It's a tricky one. I'm with you - if he paid $2K at the time, then he shouldn't get $2K for the used TV. I would show him and SIL the comparable features on modern TVs. We got our TV for like $700 a few years back and now we'd probably pay close to half that for the same or better. A "collector's item" as any reputable shop will tell you, is only worth what people will actually pay - just ask people who stocked up on Beanie Babies.

I would also sit down with BIL and SIL and ask what is really upsetting them because while everyone is fixating on a thing/money, it seems that there may be more to it. Would BIL be satisfied with the amount to replace with a similar TV and then some free (supervised) yard work from your son to show remorse? Has your son shown appropriate remorse? I would also revisit the agreement of your son letting their dogs out. If your son is old enough to go there alone and be responsible for the dogs, then he should be responsible for his other actions, like using the TV appropriately. If he can't play video games without a tantrum then he can't play video games, IMO. Since he failed side, he probably shouldn't be trusted with the other. Is THAT the issue - that he broke their trust? I think this is more than just a TV but the money is easier to decide on than how to deal with broken trust and the frustration of having to fix the tv and find a new dog walker. You also mentioned they owed you money, so is money a bad news problem in your family? I don't lend anyone money. I give it or I don't. I can't deal with family loans because they always go bad.

If you are close to your sister, talk to her sister to sister. That's where I'd start. I also second the suggestion for him to see if his homeowner's policy would cover any damage, though that's also a question of his rates hereafter for a TV.

Collectors item...!!! Puleeese!!! I don't think so, TVs are not collector's items.

I guarantee any TV you purchase for him of the same size at Costco or Sam's will be an upgrade from what he has now.

Replace the TV...same size and at least all the bells and whistles it currently has...a newer TV will probably have more features.

Then just say no more Wii at their house if they will allow your son to still come over...

Let me clarify: he walks the dogs to help out my BIL and sis, not because he needs to go there after school. Really we are doing them a favor. No my son doesn't (hasn't been) get paid for it. And yes, him no longer waking the dogs or being there alone has been addressed. Can't afford him possibly breaking something else. The tantrum thing we are working on. And I use tantrum loosely.

How long has he been taking care of their dogs? Does he get paid for that? I'd factor that in to this equation too and only pay for a decent new TV. I'd also think about setting up a payment plan for your son, since he is doing them major favors for letting their dogs out.

No, it's not a collector's item. It is obsolete technology. TV's are greatly clearanced a year after they hit the market. 2 years after, they are no longer made because of new technology. It certainly isn't specific to that TV. You buy him a similar TV - same brand, same size, same key features (3D? Smart? Wifi? etc), and I'd be willing to bet you are looking at $700-800.

Sounds like a cool guy your BIL. :(

Look, I hear you and everything you're saying. But if it means a huge family riff, no amount of money is worth that. Suck it up, pay for the TV and then no more TV at their house.

And for what it's worth, you need to teach your child some responsibility regarding his temper and other people's property.

I really like your idea about comparing new TVs to the old. Also, I agree with many other posters. Forgo the cash ideas of fair value vs. market value vs. collector's value (whatever that is). Those are moving targets and hard to hit. Find out the features of the old one and get a new one with all the comparable features. TVs have dropped a lot in value so you should be able to get one for a very reasonable price with even more gidgets, gadgets, gizmos, etc. than the old one. I love the idea of having it delivered! Not only is that a lovely way to punctuate the conflict but it's got style and grace.

Tough situation! Your BIL is being a jerk. IF one of my kids ever broke my sister's/brother's/parent's TV, they would NEVER ask for money to replace it. I would, of course, offer and we would come to some sort of agreement.

We have 1 TV and my husband paid $2k for it. However, 3 months later you could get an equivalent TV for less---that's how technology works!

I would check some prices of equivalent TVs--size?, smart tv?, resolution? I just checked the HH Gregg website and I didn't see a TV over 2k. If you have to suck it up and buy it, you can always do the 0% financing some places offer.

Maybe you need a new after school plan? Maybe Wii needs to be gone for good?

Do you not have homeowners or renter's insurance? You could put in a claim on that to get a new TV for your brother of likeness.

You are responsible for your child's actions until he is of the age of majority (18 or 21). No need to argue and fight. Lesson learned is that son does not go to uncle's home unsupervised anymore.

I have had to pay out for some of the things that my son has done when that age. I also purchased the complete tail light assembly to a car one year on the last day of school. So I know how you feel about it.

Good luck to you and your family immediate and extended.

the other S.