My Kids Are a Tornado

I have twin boys aged 5 & a 3.5 yo daughter. It was insane. My husband and I took all the toys out of the playroom and hid them. They were able to get them back slowly and had to pick up every night. When they don't we get the garbage bags out and start placing the toys inside. They start scrambling to pick up now. Thankfully....

A friend taught me a trick that really works for my kids. Play "I Spy", and when they find the item, they have to put it away (i.e., "I spy some blocks"). The only problem with this is that it takes a long time to get stuff cleaned, but it makes cleaning fun, and the kids seem to forget they are cleaning, because they are playing a game.

When my daughter was young, I was always cleaning up after her, toys, bathroom whatever, you know. Then I came up with a plan. When I cleaned up something of hers, she would need to pay me, in a way, with a toy. I would tell her she had ten minutes to pick up, then I would tell her, I would help her, but, I would get to "keep" what I picked up. You would be surprised how fast she moved. I kept her things in a box out of site, that I would hold onto for a while and would return to her after an appropriate amount of time.
Also, I would tell her that part of brushing her teeth was making sure that no toothpaste was left in the sink, if so, she could either clean it up or I could, with the price being a toy. Does this make sense? I wasnt mean, but I did hold my ground. I think she was four or five and yes she did learn to keep her toys picked up.
It also helped that just prior to the bedtime routine, that we would all police our area, putting away anything that was out.
I think the best thing I can say, is consistance. If they see this is the routine, they will do it, no agruments.
Good Luck!

Let them only have access to a few of the toys at a time and when they get bored with what they have out they give them back to you and then you get out a few more.Don't let them reach all the toys or they will have them everywhere. My mom kept our house clean by having most of our toys up in the closet and we would have to ask for them and then she would pull them down, but only a few things at a time

K.,

Oh, how we all know the challenge of tornado clean up. I have three children, ages 9, 6 and 2 and I totally understand how you feel. First of all, I think you are ahead of the game by having toys belong in specific places, especially if they are buckets that have lids. We limit how many buckets can be out at a time. If all three kids are home, they get one bucket each. If it is just the two-year-old (while the older kids are at school), he gets two buckets.

If you are overwhelmed looking at a room with a huge mess, just think about how your little ones feel when they look at it. Such a task seems unrealistic to them. Our kids do much better picking up when we break down the task. For our two-year-old, we work with him to tackle one thing at a time. "Help Mommy put all the blocks back into the bucket and then we can have snack." "Let's gather all the books and put them in a pile by the book shelf." My six-year-old doesn't want help. He is a numbers kid. He has always loved numbers, so his instructions sound like, "Go down to the basement and put away thirty toys." (This sounds like a lot, but we have had to add to his instructions to start with the biggest toys first because he would scoop up 30 Hot Wheels and think he was done!) Our nine-year-old daughter is totally different. She is most concerned about cleaning taking up her time. Her instructions include a timer. "Clean up as much as you can in ten minutes." She loves this because it is a game to her to see how much she can get done and she knows it is only taking 10 minutes of her time.

Sometimes the instructions for all three of them are, "I'm vacuuming the living room in 15 minutes. Please put AWAY anything you want to keep." If a toy is still on the floor or is not put away (throwing everything on the bed does not work) then it simply disappears into the give away pile.

There are times that at the end of clean up time especially if I'm not about to vacuum, all is not cleaned up. That's okay with me.

We have also spent time as a family talking about fire escape plans and the older two know how important it is for the floor to be clear in case of an emergency. Their uncle is a fireman and this helps, too. He has explained to them how a fireman has to crawl on their bellies to look for people in a smokey fire. Your five-year-old son might enjoy playing fireman and the role playing could help him understand how dangerous all those toys can be.

Kids are so different. You know your kids best and will be able to figure out a strategy that works for your family. Whatever you do, make them responsible for their own mess!
I hope this helps,
T.

My technique is to tell them that if they want to keep the toy they will pick it up and put it away in a certain amount of time. If they do not want the toy it can go away. If they do not do this I come through with a bag and throw the toys in a bag and they have to earn them back.

I'm glad you have so many responses, I'm saving this to my files! My suggestions are to put away half the toys for a month or a week and rotate them so they appreciate their toys more and have less to clean up.

Also to play a fun song, or sing a song or have a 60 second count down to clean up at certain times such as for lunch, dinner, naptime, bedtime, going to play, etc. That always worked best for me and my sisters. For example in the "play room" we'd have a couple toys, hair stuff, shoes, remotes, cups, etc, and we'd just count down from 60 and get the whole room cleaned during that time. Sometimes my mom would hand things to the smaller kids to put away. Since the items get thrown into rooms they belong in, my mom would do the bedroom next.

Since my son's a baby I clean-up his room when he goes down for a nap and at night. I try to have him "help" but he just takes books of the shelves.

Good luck!

I had that same problem and this is what I did. I have 3 kids 2 boys and 1 girl. The boys share a room. The kids' toys are in their room for lack of space and I don't like toys in the adult areas.

So I choose what items they could have...boys: cars, trains, wooden blocks, Mr. potato heads. There is a bin specifically for those items, anything else left. (we ended up with 2 garbage bags full of stuff!) ...girl: dollhouse, dolls, dressup, legos. They have a bookshelf for books and that is all they have.

It makes life a lot easier because now even the 2 year olds can clean up. I make them clean up before bed or before we go somewhere. Even if they want to go outside, they have to cleanup first.

With the leftover toys: they can sell them in a yard sale and buy something that they really want with the money they earned. Or put it in the bank and use it towards a special activity. We also asked our families to put the money they would spend on toys towards an activity. They all agreed to that so now we don't have to worry about a huge mess.

Good Luck!

K. I,
I felt the same way, my mother suggested that I tell my three children if they did not pick up their toys I would throw them away. My children decided to test this, I took 2 garbage bags and anything they left on the floor or where it was not suppose to be I picked them up and put into garbage bags, no I did not throw them away, I put them in the shed with the holiday decorations thow. The funny thing is it only took once and 2 months later I brought the other toys back in and it was like Christmas all over again. Hope this help

We do the once a day clean up as part of our bedtime routine. Even my two year old gets involved. I used to sing the Barney song "clean-up clean-up" I don't watch Barney, but I love that song. My oldest two are now 12 and 8, so they have specific rooms that they have to clean, but my younger two 5 and 2 are still required to help. I pushed the keeping things clean when my 5 year old was 18 mo old. He watched the older ones, and wanted to get involved in the "game". My 8 year old is the messiest, but with LOTS of praise, she can do pretty good.

Hang in there K.! My house tends to look tornadic also, and I only have one!
With my 2.75yo I'm really just beginning to work with her cleaning up after herself, trying to create the habit of putting one item away before pulling another out. Incentives only every now and then, like getting to watch a DVD, work pretty well, but I still have to hover a bit & give direction---all about repetition. I make sure to comment on her helpfulness when I see her picking up on her own. And comment on how much nicer her room is to play in when it's tidy.
I still feel like I'm fighting a losing battle sometimes, but remind myself that it will pass.
Good job mommin!
A

Hi K.,

They are still small, but it's a good thing you've begun training. I have teenagers and they do it, too! I bought a big bucket (the kind with the rope handles) from WalMart. When I get "mental" about the house, I put all their stuff -- shoes, clothes, homework, books, whatever, in the bucket and it goes in the garage. When they ask where it is, I just tell them if it's not where they left it try looking in the garage. You're still cleaning up in a way, but it's a lot faster and they get the message.

Best of luck,
L.

Same here. I have a 3 year old and 4 1/2 year old. If you have storage (which I did in our last home) putting a good 2/3 of their toys in a "toy pantry" helps out tremendously. My rules were that 1) the playroom had to be 'clean' to pull something out of the toy pantry and 2)to get something else out they had to put the first toy back. It worked great! And when the play room did get really messy it was not overwhelming for them to clean due to the limited amount of toys.

Hang in there!
R.

Mine are tornadoes too.
I'd suggest that you do periodic 'five minute tidy' or 'ten minute tidy' with the kids. If need be, do it before lunch, before dinner, and before bed. Make it a silly, fun time, sing a cleanup song or whatever, and just make it a fun but efficient cleanup time that they get used to doing. Good luck!!

You have the right idea. My mom did that when we were younger. It helped teach us to be responsible for our own things.Good Luck. Um, consistancy is key.

Tornadoes are an inevitable part of motherhood. Whenever you look at the clutter, be thankful it's there! It means you have children. Whatever you do, don't get grim about this situation; it sours living. Then begin thinking: is there a way for them, perhaps for all of us, to live with fewer things? Books, for instance, are essential and wonderful; but how many do they need out to read at a time? There are so many good toys on the market, but do we need them? How detailed does the picking-up have to be? Will a basket to toss things into do the trick instead of neat stacking (which you and they could do together maybe once a week, and have a little party afterward)? Do you have the sort of home in which you can establish a dedicated playroom, so that the clutter is at least confined? Two and five are pretty young ages. Their minds and bodies are busy, and they don't focus on keeping things neat (although some children are by nature more orderly-minded than others). They'll learn from your example, sooner or later, so make sure you clean up the kitchen as you work and put your own things away after you use them. Right now, make the work they need to do as easy as you can manage. But keep your good temper through the whole process. You have a lot of good things going for you right now - including two wonderful, intelligent, energetic children.

I won't claim to have completely solved the problem, but here's a tactic that has helped at my house. Over the course of a day, if I find stuff lying around that isn't being actively played with, I put it in a laundry basket. Near the close of the day (but not too close to bedtime - too crazy), I present my 7 y.o. and 4 y.o. with the basket, and explain to them that they need to find a place for the things in the basket, or I will make them go away for awhile. I do need to help them (especially the 4 y.o.) figure out where things go, and sometimes help them break down the task so they don't get overwhelmed. (First, let's put away the dress-up stuff, then the dolls...)

If they don't follow through, I do, and the toys in the basket get a week vacation in the garage. If the same toys get more than one vacation, I take that as a sign that we're done with them, and out they go. (Unless they are "special" toys - then I talk to the child who they belong to and try to figure out why the special toys are ending up in the basket to begin with.)

I do think that sometimes some children (okay, my daughter) really don't see the clutter they have created at the edges of a room. She'll clean up the big stuff, then leave the little stuff all around, and unless I show it to her, I really don't think she notices it.

Good luck - I'll be reading the responses you get, too, looking for new ideas.

K.,
1. Realize it is your want and desire and not necessarily your children's.
2. That being said; perhaps they are feeling the same way.
They truly love order in their life. Ask them which they enjoy most, their messy rooms or the clean organized room.
3. Create a fun activity that doesn't make a mess so they have an experience of order and fun going together. Many times children see the two as opposites.
4. Help them to see that clean up itself can be fun. This gets to come as you let go of the "drudgery" of cleaning and realize that you are actually doing something that brings you joy!
Wishing you all the best -- with my whole heart, C.

Hi K.,
I am a working mom with 4 kids. They are 12, 8, 2 and 11 months. One thing that I started doing is a "Saturday Box". I have a tote and anything left out after I have asked is put into the box and cannot be given back until Saturday. This really shaped up my older two and my 2 year old is getting the hang of it. If my older two want something out of the box they have to pay me a quarter. This would be hard for younger children to do but I have found it highly effective with my two older ones. One other thing that I have done is a system called "Funny Money". If they complete a task that I give them, ie: taking thier clothes to their room after I have folded them, or whatever it may be then they get a dollar of funny money. I set values on things such as an ice cream cone is 5 funny money dollars or a trip to the movies is 25 funny money dollars. This is effective also and it teaches them about saving money and spending it at the sametime. My house looks like a bomb hit it too so don't feel so bad. Kids works very well when you make a "game" out of what we adults consider housework. Good Luck and hang in there. Your a great mom!! God Bless E. W. from Montana

Cleaning up is a habit, and habits take practice practice practice to form. Take it from a "messy marvin"... I did not learn the habit of cleaning up after myself until I was an adult! I'm working to train my kids now (7, 5, and 3), because I can't handle a huge mess...I get overwhelmed. Every time you clean up for them, they learn that messes disappear by themselves. So whenever possible, include them in your efforts.

Avoid blanket proclamations, "This place is a mess! Clean it up!" Rather, give them age-appropriate tasks. Assign one child the task of putting books on the shelf, one child the task of putting blocks back in the basket, etc., and then you can be free to facilitate by putting away the more difficult items, helping slide that book into the right spot, or sliding toys toward the child who is sorting that item. That way you're helping, but they are doing the work and therefore learning the skill.

I made up a little song for my kids when they were 1-2 yrs old to help. To the tune of "Come along girls, we're going to Boston,"... ""We pick up the toys and put them in the basket, pick up the toys and put them in the basket, pick up the toys and put them in the basket. That's how we clean up the mess. Yes!!" Can change to books/bookshelf, or whatever is being cleaned. I pause and let them help say, Yes! with me.

Always take time to admire how nice the house looks with all the toys put away, and make sure they know how much they have helped the family by taking care of their toys.

Kids enjoy being neeeded! You will have decades of a tidy house when they are gone... :) K

I have a 4 and 7 year old and watch other kids part time here in my home. My steadfast rule is if "do not get more then what you are immediately playing with out" and "if you make the mess YOU clean it up". I am a neat freak so I know how you feel, but you have to let it go, you have to for them as well as you. It is their job to pick up after themselves.
If I walk in the playroom and there are toys everywhere, everyone has to stop, put what they are playing with to the side and EVERYTHING else is to be picked up, period. Right then. You should not be allowing them to get toy after toy out, if they are done with something just get them in the habit to put it back before they get something else out. This took a lot of time and patience but my kids and the ones I watch do it naturally now. It will work, promise, just takes them having to do it a few times.

I do not allow but one toy at a time out of the playroom so that toys don't get thrown everywhere in the house. I just converted one of our downstairs rooms to a playroom soley for toys. If you have a basement, spare corner that works fine too. Find a designated place for toys and keep them mainly in that area, not everywhere else.

Walk around and say things like "are you playing with this, if not it needs to be picked up please" and "we have 10 minutes to clean up the mess, ready, set, GO!" and have them start making it fun. I can say there are days I walk in the playroom and there are toys everywhere, I flip out as someone can get hurt, toys get broken and believe me a few stepped on legos was enough to get my point across.

Now they know before they come into another room, the one they left needs to be picked up. With three little boys here some days I know they aren't playing with every single thing that is out and just do a walk by and ask nicely they pick up what they are not playing with, it works every time.

If your kids know you will do it, they will not get the habit and one day of things being loaded up in a trash bag and not being given back for 24 hours if they DO NOT pick them up. I say all the time "if I have to clean it up you will not like the way I do it!!". Set a timer too for them and make it fun. Just be consistent and don't worry it is NOT your job to constantly pick up after them with toys.

Hi K.,
Sounds to me like your kids are in charge and they know it. So..once you regain your rightful, God-given authority you will be able to properly direct your kids. That means they will take you seriously when you say, "o.k, it's time to clean up now". Usually a little switch on the bottom will get their attention real quick like and bring them no harm except to their pride. Our home rules don't let the kids get another toy/project/game out until the first one is cleaned up and put away. Both of our kids (2&4) know how to clean up and put their stuff away where it goes. Often they go beyond the call of duty by doing other chores as well. We trained them that way from the get go because I don't plan on cleaning up after them forever and it also makes them feel a part of the family to be productive and responsible...yes even at 2 & 4. Hope this helps, L.