My MIL Was Diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer

I'm a 16 yr. Survivor of ovarian cancer. I worked full time throughout my chemo and took 4 days off for each tx. My hardest time was after surgery and getting to the end of chemo. Chemo can have cumulative effect where you feel a little worse with each tx. My sister and mom visited me and brought my husband and me palatable foods like chicken soup or just hung out with me. Try to stay positive for MIL and your husband. Ask her what she needs. Offer to do things for her, send her cards and listen if she wants to talk. I hated seeing sadness and pity in peoples eyes; I just wanted to be me not just a cancer pt. I got a lot of info and support from the Cancer wellness center in Northbrook, Il if she is up to going in the future. I wish all of you the best in coping with this difficult situation. Cancer treatment has come a long way!

My girls were 4 & 10 when my husband was diagnosed w/bladder cancer. We believed in being up front & honest w/them, big mistake. There are some things that need to be known on a need to know basis, truthfully. We thought that we would be doing wrong if we didn't let them know when he was going for this or that, when all we were doing was exposing them to unneccessary worry. I'm not saying that they didn't need to know that something was wrong w/their dad, but they didn't need a play by play of things. My husband has just recently entered his 4th year of remission and although we have gone thru the scare of his cancer spreading to his brain & such, we have tried to limit what we talk about in front of them and only discuss things once we have an answer. I wish you all the best of luck w/things and I pray that your mother-in-law has a good recovery. It is hard on your husband, I'm sure. I lost my mom to pneumonia when she was 57 & thank God for my mother-in-law. Best of luck.

I'd say not to get into much detail with your children. Just tell them that their grandmother has a disease and her doctors are giving her special medicine to help her feel better. Focus them on doing kind things to help around the house and cheer grandma up.

I hope everything works out for your mil. Cancer sucks.

edited to add that after reading additional answers I would suggest avoiding the word sick. A friend explained to her son that the neighbor was sick and when the neighbor died the son was terrified with every sneeze and cough that he was sick and would die. In his mind he couldn't tell the difference between having a minor illness and having cancer. It took years for him to mature enough for mom and dad to explain the difference between cancer and an illness.

I am so sorry, C.. I don't have the experience you need. I am sure someone else will. Try http://www.mdjunction.com/ to find an ovarian ca support group. I am keeping up with a friends daughter's treatment through caringbridge.com. It connects you to the people, friends and coworkers that want to help during times like these. May your mil be quickly healed.

So so sorry to hear this. I will be saying prayers and as far as your very wonderful four and a half year old, they are so awesome and just be very honest.She is sick, she needs to have things done to help her and he can give her lots of hugs???? No is it possible for millions of hugs???? Nowadays no cancer is a death sentence (I am a uterine cancer survivor since 2009 whoohoo) and just keep him informed as simply as much as possible. As for husband, give him a hug and tell him from me that cancer is definitely rotten but help his mom fight it by making sure he lets her know he loves her madly. There is nothing like support from the family. And YOU take care of yourself. Eat good, relax, watch some goofy movies and don't envelope yourself in this. Take time for you. Ok nuff said. Good luck, and many, many prayers.

I would not use the word "disease" as mentioned below, when explaining to your children. My mom just had a masectomy. We told our 4.5 yr old simply "Nana is at the doctor. She is sick. The doctor says he can fix her... Be gentle with Nana. She has a boo-boo where the doctor did fixing. Only give her gentle hugs"
Say little, answer questions simply.
"Will she get better?" - Yes the doctor will do surgery and fix it.
"Is she going to die?" - Let's say prayers and ask God to heal her body.
"What's wrong with Grandma?" - She is sick. A part of her body inside of her that we can't see is all yucky and the doctor's going to take that part out so the yucky part's not in her anymore.

Sorry I don't have more for you as far as suggestions go. Have the kids pray for her healing, buy torquoise shirts and/or torquoise ribbons as that is Ovarian Cancer color. Tell the kiddos that b/c she is sick, we will have to help her more with cooking and cleaning her house and stuff. Ask for their "big girl help".

C., I'm so sorry. I don't have real advice to give, but just wanted to tell you that our thoughts and prayers are with you all and her.

Hugs~
Dawn

All kids handle things differently. I don't know what the right or wrong answer is, I can just give u two examples.

We had a neighbor next door who was like a Grandma to my girl's. She became sick with head & neck cancer. I took her back and forth every day for chemo. My youngest went with us. I told my girls she had cancer. They saw her on good days and on bad days. She passed away but not really from the cancer, but from a bad fall and not being able to recover because of the cancer and treatments. My girls handled well even until the end. They sat on her bed, after she passed and said goodbye to her.

A friend I know developed breast cancer. She didn't want to freak her kids out so she told them very little. She thought that she was protecting them. Then she lost her hair. Her daughter was not prepared and freaked out. Looking back she should have told them what could or would happen. She knew that she was going to lose her hair. Her daughter thought since her mom said it was going to be ok and there nothing to worry about that she lied to her. She thought that her mom was going to die since no one told her that this would happen. Her mom survived. It was very hard on her daughter. "Protecting" her and her siblings backfired.

Personally I think all kids do better when they are told matter of fact what is going on. You don't need to go into details but the basics that they will see happening need to be explained to them before they see it happen.

Prayers go out to all of you. I know it's hard but you are going to have to be the one that stays strong for everyone. God Bless.