My Mother - Millbury,OH

My mother died on June 2, 2011 from breast cancer too. I choose to not dwell on the would have's, could have's, and should have's because that would drive me crazy and put me in a very funky/depressed head space and I just can't and won't go there.

The thing I remember most and miss the most about my mother was her sense of humor. She was incredibly hilarious. She had a dry sense of humor and could do awesome impersonations. We still laugh about her dancing skills or the lack there of. As a family we don't choose just to remember her as the perfect person but also her faults as well. This way we will be able to share those stories of her for generations to come.

My mom was amazing and is missed and is loved still. She will never be forgotten by many not just the immediately family.

Thank you.

I was trying to decide if I have time to go visit my mom today, with everything else I've got going on. (It's an hour driving time, round trip)

After reading your post, I have time.

I'm sorry - I wish I had the answer for you. My husband lost his mother 12 years ago from cancer as well (will be 12 years in October) and he still struggles. I'm not sure the hurt ever goes away.

The hurt never goes away. George (#41) and Barbara Bush lost their 4 yr daughter to leukemia. She would have been in her 50's or 60's today and to this day, they still can't think about her w/o crying even a little.

My MIL lost her husband of 40+ yrs and she said it's going to take her at least 40+ years to learn to live w/o him.

I think that is great you recognize what an awesome grandmother your mom would have been. That means you knew her heart very well. Reflect her life and heart by how you raise your daughters and so you know you are holding a little bit of your mom when you hug them each time :)

Sorry that you are hurting. I too lost my mom a little over 3 years ago unexpectedly to a brain aneurysm. My mom was a wonderful grandma as well as a wonderful mom. There's not a day that goes past that we don't miss her. I lost not only my mom but my best friend. That saying - time heals everything - is a bunch of bull if you ask me. Time heals nothing. All time does is help you accept that they are gone. That's it. I have a 2 year old son that will have never get to know her but you know what I tell myself? I believe that she got to meet him, hold him before I ever got pregnant with him. But it will be up to us to keep her memory alive for him and for the rest of us. I don't think the hurt ever goes away. I think we just learn different and better ways of handling it as time goes by. Hang in there and hold your memories close. Live like your mom would have liked you to live. Honor her in your daily life.

I'm sorry you lost your mom. I lost mine just over two years ago; we had an appointment to begin breast cancer treatment and she had a massive stroke that morning and was gone within 22 hours. The shock still hasn't totally worn off. We had had a beautiful Father's Day celebration on Sunday (my daughter and I stayed over to take her to the doctor) and that Monday morning rocked our world. My Daddy never totally recovered from the loss and was gone exactly 17 months later. I miss them both terribly. My Mother was a great Mom to me and Grandmother to my kids. I'm very thankful they got to know her and spend time with her. My parents babysat my kids when they were babies and were a big part of our lives. My Mom developed Alzheimer's about five years before she left and of course at first we cried but then instead of dwelling on the bad we remembered the good. Even on her "bad" days we would get her laughing because she constantly asked the same things over and over. It was our way of coping instead of crying. Then on her "good" days we'd have her laughing when we would tell her what she does on her "bad" days. She had a great sense of humor about it all. I miss her hugs, her soft hands, her silly grin when I would say something stupid, her calling out to my Daddy to have him stop me from bugging her as if I were a little kid. But most of all I guess I miss hearing her voice. Because I live two hours away, my Daddy would call me every night to ask about my kids and hubby. I would tell him to say hi to Mommy for me; then I would hear her in the background: "Hi Hon!" Yep, I miss my Mom!! Ok, I'm going to go get a tissue now:(

It's good to remember your mother, and I'm so glad that you have happy memories of her. I think there's always a place in us that longs for what might have been. You don't want to live there, but it's a nice place to visit.

Tell your girls stories about their grandma, show them lots of pictures, and make her real to them that way.

My mother loved her grandchildren but she wasn't as much a hands-on grandma as some are - probably because she was older than the usual grandmother (she was forty when I was born and almost seventy when her first grandchild arrived). However, she delighted in them - and they wouldn't have gone to college if it hadn't been for her. I have a lovely photograph of her sitting in my living room reading a book to my then-two-year-old son, just a day or two before his first little sister was born.

My heart goes out to you. I lost my mother almost 8 years ago.
I believe she will always be in your heart --- in your thoughts --- in memories
I find myself becoming more like my mother the older I get.
I remember her tellilng me that one day I will wake up and see my mother in the mirror looking back at me. I did not understand it at the time, but as I age i do see more and more of my mother in me -- looks -- actions-- etc/
My best memories are the little moments we shared -- I talked with my mother daily though she lived hours away. Knowing she was always there for me---even if she was not always proud of my actions-- she always supported me and encouraged me. She taught me how to live---and how to die--- she taught me to be positive in life-- even through tough times-- there is always a silver lining somewhere you just may have to dig deep to find it.
Best wishes --- I understand your sadness - you want to share your joy and love with her. You wanted your children to enjoy her love as well.

I'm sorry you're missing your mom. :(
I've heard it said you never really feel like a "grown up" until you lose your mother.
My mom, 75, is still alive and is an AMAZING woman! She has deep faith and lives her faith. She helps everyone she can or comes across. Always sowing seeds in the garden, so to speak. She lost her husband 6 years ago this Christmas and the way she describes it: you never 'get over' it, you just kind of 'get used to it" -- over time. Lots of time.
My grandmother passed away over 20 years ago and there are STILL times I almost pick up the phone to ask her something or tell her something.
Just keep your mom alive in your heart and tell your memories to your kids, so they have a "sense" of her.
Be the matriarch she inspires you to be and O. day YOU will get to be "that" grandma, think of her, and smile.

My mother has been gone for almost 7 years now, and I still miss her everyday. She was my best friend we talked on the phone multiple times a day, saw each other at least 4 to 5 times a week...she was just such a huge part of my life.

She didn't get to meet my children and they will never know her other than through stories I tell them. She would have been a totally awesome and involved grandmother.

But you know the worst part is I ended up losing my dad too...not to death but to remarriage. My step-mother is just not super family oriented and he has kinda disappeared from our lives. I see him now 2 times a month maybe and she is always with us. So I just feel very orphaned.

Sending you a huge HUG!!

My heart goes out to you. I lost my mom to breast cancer almost 14 years ago. Her 64th birthday just passed and it still hurts. I do find I miss her so much more now that I have kids. I wish I could call her and ask advice. I know I would be over there almost every day. And, I struggle with always comparing myself to her. To me, she was the perfect mother, even though she probably had flaws too. I just never saw them. So, I feel I can never live up to her example.

My mom always had the softest hands. I don't know how because with all the washing cleaning and working hard for our family. I can't keep mine half that soft! And, she had a great sense of humor. I need to hold onto that especially when I am feeling frustrated. She always had a smile for everyone, no matter what she was going through. God I miss her!

Blessings to you and your children.

I lost my mom two and a half years ago. I don't think the hurt ever goes away. I miss her every day. I try to keep her memory alive for my kids.

I recently know of a young girl who lost her mom and brother to a car accident and she is only 13. I am so lucky that I had my mom well into adulthood and only wish I had appreciated her more while growing up.

I was lucky to have my mother for about 64 years and kept her at home until she died at age 102...she was a great mother, grandmother and great-grandmother....lived with us for thirty years....we had a lot of laughs over the years. She helped me so much with my six children, especially when my husband had to travel. She was the oldest of eight and outlived every family member of her generation! I am sorry your mother missed all those things....may they both rest in peace.
P.S. My son made a DVD of her for her one hundredth birthday, with photos from throughout her life and he interviewed her for it, so once in a while I watch it and listen to her voice......