My Nearly 3 Year Old Suddenly Refuses to Eat

Is this my Dear D. Lowden? I remember my mom, the pediatrician - she used to say, ignore it and it will go away - they willeat when they are hungry - leave it out and ignore it.
Love
____@____.com

Don't give her so much milk, just give her water or a little juice. She's probably not hungry because of the milk. I would also just keep trying to get her to eat a little at a time. If she gets hungry, she'll eat when you've made her something. Hope it works out soon!

Whenever there is a sudden change in behavior, best to err on the side of caution and first consult a pediatrician. Besides thrush, it could be a coxsackie virus which causes the inside of the mouth to be very sore.

-J.

I think that you should just let it pass. If you make a big deal out of it, it will become a control issue with her and it will just be frustrating for both of you. If you are not seeing any health problems then just let it play out. She is going to get hungry and eat. My son went through this at 2 1/2 , but he was complaining of his tummy hurting. He still does not eat very much, we just make sure everything he puts in his mouth is good for him. Good luck! Every child brings new challenges. I am a mother of 4 and just as I think I have seen everything they show me that I have not. Don't stress and it to shall pass.

C.

My first guess would be something physically wrong with her mouth and/or throat. It could also be some form of sensory integration issue going on there too. My 4 yo son has never been a great eater and some days, he doesn't eat hardly anything at all. He has sensory issues and if we try to encourage him to eat on those days he ends up vomiting. They know when they are hungry. If she gets too hungry she will eat. I would definitely mention it to her doctor and have her mouth and throat checked just to make sure there isn't something going on with that first.

To you the toast might not have been hot, but to her if she has any kind of problem going on, it may have been (not necessarily heat hot either). With the sensory issues my son has, they didn't start showing up till after he was 3 years old. We even have an oral therapy for him and it has worked WONDERS for him with eating. He is still a bit picky, but he eats something at every meal.

I would really consider getting an appointment with her doctor as soon as possible to make sure she isn't in pain (bad tooth, thrush, sore throat, etc).

Havnt read the others but have you checked her mouth for sores? She might be trying to describe a burning sensation when she eats. Good luck.

L.

She may have a yeast infection in her mouth ('thrush') or something like that, so might give it a look (would probably look like the inside of her mouth is coated with milk residue) or even a dr. check-up. I had thrush once as an adult, and it's like the whole inside of your mouth has been burnt! Not comfy! ANYTHING acidic is off limits (and jelly DOES have a little acid in it). I lived on milkshakes for a while. It's pretty easy to get rid of with treatment and is more likely to develop if she's recently been on antibiotics.

After eliminating any physical reason, though, believe me, the bigger 'deal' you make of her not eating, the bigger PROBLEM it'll become! Just offer her the foods the rest of the family eats (healthful choices, of course) and she WILL eat whatever and however much she's hungry for!! As a former anorexic, I KNOW that food/eating/weight shouldn't become 'battling grounds' or a power struggle!

I have a three year old too and I think it's her age! Two is easy compared to three!!!

She may be trying to control (assuming she doesn't have a sore throat or something else physical.) I would just put a variety of healthy foods in front of her and tell her "This is lunch!" If she doesn't eat, tell her she can put her plate in the sink/on the counter whenever she is finished. After that, nothing else until dinner or snack. Then, "This is dinner!" It's up to her to eat or not and you are not controlling her. She will choose not to starve! Don't force it or try to coax even a bite or it won't work... and if she says she's not hungry, put the plate in the frige and offer it a half hour later (my daughter is always full and then asks for a treat!) Take the power struggle away... when she whines for a cheesestick, say maybe you will have that for a snack later, but lunch is what is in front of her and that's it.

Good luck!

Hang in their. I know how you feel my 6yr started the same thing at that age. He's six now and finally it's starting to get a little better. Stick to what you cook. Keep giving her the stuff she likes and before you know it she will start to eat it again. Good luck.

Hey, never mind.............you've got it under control................ I didn't ready your update. The joys of motherhood; huh?

Old response: Please take her to your doctor. She could have thrush, which is a fungal infection in the mouth, mainly on the tongue. There is no taste, and it can travel into her throat. It's best to get her checked out. Also, check her daycare for some type of emotional upset. A child who will not eat is having something physically or mentally wrong going on her her little body. Just have her checked out. Then, check out who she plays with when she is not with you. There is a reason for this behavior, so just check it out, with docs and with caretakers (whomever babysits her). She'll be ok, and it's just something to tend to.

D. L,
I'd also rule out the dentist and doctor... if nothing is wrong there with not having any cavities/mouth issues and her ped. says nothing is wrong physically....she eventually snap out of this phase. When she is hungry, ply her with as many vitamins as you can. I actually use ovaltine in the milk which my ped. okd although she did mention Carnation instant breakfast too. Those help with vitamins and if she is only drinking milk that would get more good stuff in her. Good luck otherwise.... I've got two picky eaters and its frustrating to say the least! I'm sure it would help you as well if the other two made better comments when eating, but that doesn't always work out as we know. Oh, you could also keep up a journal of what she is eating to show the ped. her record just incase it continues. I'm assuming that you've spoken to the 3yr old to see what the prob. is as well....of course they usually don't have enough insight to explain themselves sometimes. Sorry I can't be of more help- many a good suggestion has come before me though!

I wouldn't make a power struggle out of it. She'll eat sooner or later, or will prove to be sick. I'd require her to sit at the table (to be social with the family), but not eat. I would keep her drinking something; hydration is critical And at some other time, ask if something happened that made her sad or mad. This too will likely pass.

Each child is different, so try not to compare her to her siblings. Also, just remember she will eat when she's hungry. Put the food in front of her at mealtimes. If she eats, great, if not, don't make a big deal of it. However, don't give her any snacks if she's hungry. She eats at mealtimes only, along with the rest of the family (we found that out the hard way, that setting meal schedules for our family is not only a great way to keep a schedule, but everyone knows what to expect, and what is expected of them.)

Unless there is an underlying medical issue, just relax. She will eventually eat. Also, could she be getting into control issues, and food is the way she does it?

Have you talked to your doctor about this? That's what I would do, and i bet (s)he will tell you not to force your child to eat. She will eat when she is hungry; her body will let her know when she is hungry, and it won't let her starve. Of course, this is assuming there isn't anything physically wrong with her. Again, I would ask my doctor.

It sounds like thrush to me. That or acid reflux. Get her into a doc before dehydration sets in. She is uncomfortable and needs attention. God Bless~

I can relate to your situation. It's a mix of frustration but also fear that your child will not be well nourished. I have been there myself. So you know, I left a career in nutrition to stay at home w/my daughter who is 3 3/4 y.o. I thought food issues would be so easy b/c of my training. Wrong! In the end, I've adopted the philosophy that all I can do is provide the food and allow my daughter to make decisions about what to eat, and how much. (I still control the "when" .) I did not get to this point easily, believe me! I was fortunate to have access to resources by Ellen Satter. (Feeding w/Love and Good Sense is a good read for you, but she's got another 1 or 2 titles. She's got a website you can probably find.) She's an RD w/many years of expertise and has seen it all. Her approach is defining roles for parent and the child. She teaches that it is the parent's job to provide a variety of foods (including familiar and favorite as well as not so familiar or not so well liked or the brand new ones.) She emphasizes that it is the child's responsiblity to decide what to eat from the plate, how much to eat, and whether to eat at all. This is not easy. I do throw food out, untouched at times. But I also have seen my child eventually turn on to a new food after she has seen it several times. I always remember that Satter says "a hungry child will eat." This is the difficult part b/c when my daughter has left the table w/o eating at all or barely anything - it seems like I've failed as a parent. It gets easier over time b/c I have seen that by offering the foods non-judgmentally with no pleading or extra marketing attempts, she often tries things when she wants something different. I was a horrible eater as a child and would stubbornly sit into the night at the table w/cold green beans or whatever was undesirable to me. Thankfully, my mom gave up on that approach as it never worked. And I started eating green beans on my own sometime after college! Good Luck! K. L.

Wow! What great responses you have.
I’m a mother of six, with another one on the way. Married 20 years and our oldest is 16. We have a two year old going on three and she’s become a ‘pickle’ lately!!! She’s only into eating p.b sandwiches and they have to look the way she wants them to look or she goes into this screaming fit. Well, we tried to work with her, but quickly decided that she’s going through those wonderful toddler years where their tempers flare when they don’t get there way. So, we’re having a lot of “time-outs” lately and it seems to be working. She hate’s time out.
This could be physical or it could just be her attitude and you’re left working through it. Just remember, this stage won’t last forever. She’ll get hungry and when she does she’ll eat what’s available.
I have noticed in our own situation that our little girl is more apt. to eat whatever is served when she sees everyone around her eating the meal too. We do eat our dinners together as a family and we have no problems when everyone is eating the dinner. Unless, the seven year old blurts out a big “yuck”, (before tasting the food). Which, throws her in a psychological struggle of whether she should side with that comment. LOL!!!
Have fun! And remember, this won’t last forever! I'm trying to remember that too:)

When my daughter did the same thing her pediatrician said she normally wouldn't be concerned because kids do change eating habits during certain phases. But she started lossing weight, so we had to get a little drastic. The doctor had me stop giving her milk except at night or after meals. She had to eat something before she got any milk. In the begining it scared me because she went 2 days with out anything, but the third day she acted like a bottomless pit! I don't think you should try this without speaking with a doctor first, but it worked for us. The strange part was that she decided not to eat any meat except chicken legs. All she wanted was vegies and fruits!

D.,
Take your little one to the pediatrician to rule out anything medical first. With one of my kids he would stop eating when he got strepp throat. I think it hurt to eat. That was the only symptom he would get.

I have four kids and with one of my kids eating became a power struggle. My mom is a dietician. I would always worry when he wouldn't eat. Mom would tell me that kids will eat when they are hungry. If you make eating a battle they will fight with you by not eating.

This worked for me. When my son wouldn't eat I would give him the glass of milk that he asked for and then give him a plate of something that I know he likes--banana, PB&J, cheese and crackers, apple slices, yogurt, ice cream, etc. I would set it on a the coffee table in the living room and casually say to him, "Here's a snack if you get hungry later." He would eat it. If it was a battle of the wills of whether he was going to eat or not eat he always won. But, if I would back off and give him the milk that he asked for and offer something else and back off, he would usually eventually eat it.

My mom said that little kids need 3 meals and 3 snacks a day because their stomachs are small and they don't eat much at a time. So put three meals on the table and offer her healthy snacks in between meals. Do not force her to eat. It doesn't work and you both end up frustrated. Trust me she will eventually eat.

The interesting thing to me was that when I became a diabetic my doctor told me that we all needed to learn to eat more like little children-3 smaller meals and 3 snacks a day. It keeps your blood sugar better regulated if you eat less, but more times during the day. Good luck with your daughter!
S.

Sounds like it's time for a sit down with your 3 yr. old, but first do some research on how much milk a child her age should be getting. Measure out however much that may be, show it to her, and put it in the refrigerator. Explain to her that when the milk is finished, there will be no more for the day, but that she may pick something out of "her box" when she is hungry and she can have as much water as she would like. Be sure to put a variety of fruits, vegetables, and proteins in the box, but only what you want her to eat. When you sit her down to talk, you can also explain to her when it's acceptable to eat. Whether it's when the timer goes off (snack, lunchtime, afternoon snack, dinner) or if it's whenever she feels hungry. You have to decide and then stick with it. You might also say to her that you are not going to force her to eat, but that if she is not getting enough vitamins from her food, you will decide when she needs to go talk to a doctor with you. Just some thoughts. Hope things get better!

I have two very, very picky eaters. My 5 year old only eats a variety of about 6 things, but my 3 year is just slightly better. What I would suggest is not allowing any milk until a certain amount of bites are taken. I have had to do this with my 5 year old countless times. "Take 5 bites, then you may have a drink." Our problem was that the milk was filling her up, and then no matter what I put in front of her, even if it was something she LOVED, she was too full to eat it. So I had to slow her down on the milk. Milk is so great and important, but sometimes it fills their little tummies up too fast.
Hope that helps.

Isn't it funny how they can love something one minute and the next they hate it! LOL =0) My youngest is 28mths old and he's not as picky as my almost 5yr old, but he's a challenge. I've found that he goes through spells. He won't eat hardly a thing for a while and then all of the sudden, he turns into a bottomless pit. And, I've also learned that they're much more likely to eat something if they help prepare it in some way (even if it's just dumping the cheese packet into the macaroni!). Or if the food is fun....like dipping things or the dinosaur sandwich cutter. I also always try my best to give them choices, so they feel like they decided what they're going to have. Do you want pb&j or grilled cheese. Try to let her be involved in what you make. Like the toast...let her put the bread in the toaster or have her get the butter tub out of the fridge....just anything you can think of. It may not work, but maybe it will. =0) Don't worry too much. She'll eat when she's hungry. In the meantime, maybe she'd benefit from the pediasure milkshakes, so you know she'll be getting the nutrition she needs to get you both through this picky phase. Good luck, mom!!! Know you're not alone! =0)

Hi D.,

These dear children that we all have can keep us wondering what is going on. Each one has a different attitude. But that is alright. We want that to be. And yes they can change very fast.
Try this with the littleone. Set down with her and you both have a plate alike. This will take time I feel. But eat with her. And talk about all the pretty things around her. Show her that you like to eat too. But make sure it is the same that she has, It could be she is seeing the others acting different with their foods. Just you and her some how eat together. Have the plate setting there ready and say to her Mommy is eating with you too. And make a big deal about it. Oh This will bring you both together. These children Today need this so badly. That very special love. Holding and hugging. Saying how good they are and letting them know that is a good job they are doing.
I hope I gave you some idea. God Bless you.

May you have a great day
TODAY
Vicki W.

Hi D.,

From your story, I would take her to the dentist to make sure she is not having trouble with her teeth. Maybe eating is painful for her?
Another idea would be to have her checked if she is suffering form GERD (Gastroesophageal reflux disease). This is when the stomach acids come up from the esophagus; many children can develop this. Saying the food is spicy and hot might be an indication that it is burning her throat after she eats it. Milk is also a drink that can sooth a scratchy throat after heartburn.
I hope this is helpful!

I would speak with your ped about it to get their advice. I would suggest, though, not to use time-out or punishment when it comes to food. It sends the wrong message about food. People have such an unhealthy relationship with food in our society. If healthy food is around and available, she'll eat if she gets hungry enough. Good luck.

I have started using a supplement for this issue and have had great results. It is from nativeremedies.com and called Kiddie Flourish, it helps with crankiness and fussiness at meal times and helps increase appetite. I saw results right away. I'm able to saute swiss chard and put scambled egg over it and he eats it! I put the drops in my son's apple juice that he sips throughout the day and he doesn't notice it. I also got Kiddie Boost to help boost his immune system so he could fight off infection better and ward off ear infections, so far so good.
Another thing that has worked well is putting his food in front of him and walking away completely and ignoring him. (I stay in the kitchen and glance over to see he's safe in his chair, etc.) He was enjoying my reactions to him not eating. My mother told me to do this as she refused to eat as a child and loved seeing her parents fret and even cry, begging her to eat. She would get so weak from not eating (at age 5!) that she would collapse in the middle of walking, she had no energy. And after everyone pleading and begging her to eat, she'd ask for a cookie and that is what she'd get! She only ate sweets. So, don't react. When I started this my son would put food in his mouth and swallow as he saw I didin't care what he did.
Good luck!