My One Year Old Won't Sleep Through the Night

It's not the caffeine. I had the same problem with my breast-fed baby last year, and I almost never drink caffeine. Like you, I had an older child who was a great sleeper (and also on formula). We tried everything you tried and then some. My husband refused to let the baby "cry it out," even though we did that a few nights with the older one when he was a baby and it worked great! We had a lot of sleepless nights with a screaming baby, yelling husband (usually a rational person), and crying mom. I finally reached my wit's end and insisted on letting him cry himself back to sleep - especially at naptime when my husband wasn't home. Babies who get good naps usually sleep better at night. Eventually he got the message that night time is for sleeping, not eating. It wasn't easy, but neither is the sleepless alternative. I hope you find something that works for you soon!!

Hi J.! I totally understand what you're going through your son and mine sound very similar in their sleeping habits. I was very desperate when he was about a year old to get some sleep, but I didn't want to stop breastfeeding (He also loved it!) AND I didn't want to 'let him cry it out.' He was not good at that and would just get himself more worked up. I was told to read "THE NO-CRY SLEEP SOLUTION" by Elizabeth Plantley! It did wonders for me and it gave such wonderful ideas on what to do. It took a little bit of time to implement the techniques but it turned out to be pretty simple and worked like a charm. He started sleeping after just a few nights and only woke up once in the early, morning to nurse. We are still enjoying a breastfeeding relationship and he's still sleeping.... and even better, so am I!!!!!

I've had similar problems & my oldest even was sent to a sleep specialist. She didn't sleep thru the night till she was past 3 years old & I didn't nurse her till then but I did nurse her past a year. Once I did wean her things did improve. I have a 15 month old now & I did wean her just after a year old & she does sleep better. I would tough it out & wean him if he can drink from a sippy cup. If he can't do that yet then I would work work work with him to get him where he can maybe offering juice in it as a incentive for a bit if you have to. Just get him to drink out of a sippy cup & not go to the bottle cause otherwise you'll have to go thru taking that away from him too not long down the road. If you have a place where you live where you can go to let him cry it out in the night I'd do that. I have had the same problems with my family & try to keep my babies from waking everyone else. It sure does make for a tired Mom & I know how it feels I haven't have a full nights sleep since my oldest was born 6 1/2 years ago now. Good luck!

L.

I went thru some of the same issues with my son. Here's what I did.

1. Spent lots of money on different bottles with different nipples to find one he likes. My son was also an exclusive breastfeeder, and the only bottle he would accept was one I found at Babies R Us by "The First Years" company called the Breastflow bottle. It has a double nipple system. The inner is cone shaped and the outer is breast shaped. It must be extremely similar to the real thing because it was the only one that he liked. (Maybe this can save you some of the money we went thru finding it)

2. Start introducing the bottle. We tried formulas, but he didn't like any. So, we did water. By now, your son is probably eating table foods, so try a few sips of water with dinner, just like you introduced the new foods. When he accepts the bottle readily, move to step 3.

3. Make sure he eats well just around bed time. Rice cereal or oatmeal to fill him up. Go thru the bedtime routine. When he wakes up in the middle of the night, DO NOT turn on the lights, talk to him, or make any big changes. He may be asleep still and those things would fully wake him up. Pat his butt, hold his hand, or smooth his hair from his forehead, whatever comfort things you normally do and see if that calms him back to sleep. If he is fully awake, keep the lights off and take him to the rocking chair and give him the bottle. He's really not hungry! Remind yourself of this while he is crying and pulling at your shirt. At this stage, all he wants is the comfort, not the food. So rock him, sing to him, walk him around til he relaxes again. Put him back to bed. It won't be fun for a few nights while he gets used to it, but he'll figure out that he is no longer drinking all night. When you stop giving him the breast at night, he'll stop waking up for it. You can still breastfeed during the day if you like, but try to make it associated with the daylight. Once it is dawn and the sun is lighting up the room, if he wakes up for it and cries for it then, breast feed him then. The biggest thing at 3 am is to keep things as dark and quiet as possible, so that he starts to associate dark and quiet with NOT eating, but sleeping. It may be a gradual thing depending on how tired you are. If you are absolutely a zombie at 3 am and it is his 2nd wake up, breastfeed him back to sleep and go back to sleep. Cut out one wake-up at a time until you are both adjusted. There were even a few night when I put a pillow and blanket on the floor and slept next to him because he just wanted to know I was near. He wasn't hungry, he just didn't want to be alone.

My son didn't wean completely until he was about 14 months, but when we started the no breast at night, he finally slept all night. He was still waking up for it and crying because up until then, it worked. It really will be harder on you than it will be for him, but then what bliss when you both sleep all night!!! This is one of those issues that you have to sense what is best and what will work for your child. All I can tell you is what worked with mine. Good luck.

I would definitely try to break the habit now or it will just get harder down the road. I'm not sure if I'll be much help but my 9 (almost 10) month old is breastfed and is sleeping through the night. I have found that the daytime naps are very important. My daugther will scream at night the more tired she is. Also, a before bed routine is important. I feed my daugther at 7:00 pm every evening (this is when she has her gerber food; meat, veggie, and fruit, and sometimes a little cereal). Then around 7:30ish I give her a bath and I kind of let her play for a while so that she gets worn out. After her bath I nurse her and rock her for a bit and sing to her, then I lay her down awake but drowsy and she goes right to sleep. There have been times that she's gone through where she won't go right to sleep or she may wake up in the middle of the night. If she wakes up in the middle of the night I give her some water to drink and lay her right back down. I quit giving her the breastmilk around 7 months b/c the doctor just said it wasn't necessary that she was just wanting it out of habit. That was the hardest thing for me to break but she just don't need it as long as she's eating enough throughout the day. Also, the caffeine may be contributing to the problem so I might try avoiding it for a week just to see, it couldn't hurt to try. I only have one drink a day with caffeine and I try to have it before 4pm so that it doesn't interfere with her nighttime routine. You might check your output also and make sure that you are making enough milk to satisfy your son. So, I would try some of these things and I hope something works for you soon b/c mommy needs her sleep just as much as baby! Good luck and happy holidays.

Eeeks! It sounds like he's ruling the roost. You better take control of the situation while you can or it's just going to get ugly down the road. Kids can cry...they'll be ok. He needs to learn that YOU are the boss and YOU decide when it's time to go to bed and wake up, not him. If you're concerned about your hubby and daughter, buy them a box fan.

J.:
I went thru this with my second child. She was still nursing, 13 months old, and the sleep interruptions at night were killing us! My husband and I would take turns walking her; I would try to nurse her; and then as soon as I laid her down her eyes would pop open. Or, she would wake up three hours later. It was regularly an hour-long process to get her to sleep at night, plus she would wake up at least once if not twice. Here's what we did, with total success. This is NOT EASY. We started on a Friday night when we would get a chance to catch up on sleep the following day. We made up a SHORT night time routine - two books, drink of water, brush teeth, bed - and then put her to bed in her pack and play and walked out the door. She screamed her bloody head off. She pooped her pants, threw up on herself, but eventually fell asleep after an hour and a half. It was brutal to listen to, and very very hard on my husband, but we stuck it out. After she fell asleep - make sure he's really asleep!! - we went in and changed her and cleaned her up. She slept for the rest of the night. The good part of the story is that the SECOND night, we went thru our same short routine, put her to bed, walked out, and she cried for only 30 minutes. The third night, it was 5 minutes. She's been going to sleep by herself calmly without argument ever since (she just turned 5). It was a really difficult weekend, but very much worth it. I would highly recommend trying it - just remember that if you start the 'cry out', you have to stick with it. I took the lessons I learned with that experience and used them with my third child - she's been sleeping all night since she was 6 months old, even though she nursed until she was 18 months old. They just have to learn to put themselves to sleep or you will be miserable!!
Good luck!

Ive talked to a few moms who were going through this and for them, it turned out, their babies just werent getting as much milk as they thought they were, and they got hungry faster. Do you ever pump (do you know how much milk you are producing)? My lactation consultant (and sister) constantly reminded me that water intake was directly related to output, so "drink, drink, drink". As for the coffee, I think you're right that a couple cups a day is generally not harmful, but if you're having a problem, try to switch to decaf for a week to see if theres any difference.. cant hurt! Wish you the best with this... Im on the fence when it comes to "grin and bear it" or trying to break the habit, although it needs to get better sometime so you can get some sleep!
take care

Here is what I found on caffeine and breastfeeding. Hope it helps.

Congrats on the breastfeeding and for the record its up to you when u want to start the weening stage, I started weening my son at 10mths, he had no problem going from breast to bottle to sippycup. He stopped on his own at 16 1/2mths.

Info I found below:

Does the caffeine I eat or drink get into my breast milk? Could it harm my baby?

Caffeine does enter your bloodstream, and some portion of what you eat or drink appears in your breast milk. If you consume more than 400 mg of caffeine a day (about what you'd get in four mugs of coffee), it might affect your baby. That's why it's probably best to restrict your intake while breastfeeding.
Though one or two cups of coffee, tea, or cola isn't likely to affect either of you, more might make one or both of you irritable, jittery, agitated, and sleepless. If you want to have a cup or two of coffee or tea a day while breastfeeding, make a conscious effort to drink at least eight glasses of water every day as well (good advice whether or not you're taking in caffeine).
And if the caffeine seems to bother your baby, abstain for a bit until after you've weaned her to drink it again. If you decide you want to kick the caffeine habit, click here for tips.

How much caffeine is in my favourite foods and drinks?

You might be surprised how easily you can get a big dose of caffeine. This chart highlights just a few common foods and drinks that contain the stimulant.

Item Amount Caffeine
Diner coffee 8.3 fluid oz. / 237 ml 350 mg
Gourmet coffee 8.3 fluid oz. / 237 ml 175 mg
Brewed coffee 5.2 fluid oz. / 148 ml 105 to 115 mg
Espresso single 100 mg
Cappuccino single 100 mg
Instant coffee 6.3 fluid oz. / 177 ml 57 mg
Decaffeinated coffee 5.2 fluid oz. / 148 ml 5 mg
Brewed tea 6.3 fluid oz. / 177 ml 20 to 110 mg
Iced tea 12.5 fluid oz. / 355 ml 70 mg
Instant tea 7.3 fluid oz. / 207 ml 30 mg
Cola 1 x can / 330 ml 30 to 56 mg
Diet cola 1 x can / 330 ml 38 to 45 mg
Sprite and 7-Up 1 x can / 330 ml 0 mg
Chocolate 2 oz. / 57g 10 to 50 mg
Cocoa 5 oz. cup / 142 g 4 mg

I nursed my first for 2 years and my second for 15 months. My second is 3 and he still wakes up in the middle of the night and comes to my bed. My first didn't do this. It drives me crazy but when he was 1 I just nursed him in my bed. Throw him in bed with you and just go with it. He won't be a baby forever and he won't be in your bed when he is 5.lol I think when they feel like your trying to take something away from them they cling to it even more. The caffeine may be contributing so I would just cut down. Also when they are growing it's harder. Take that into consideration. He may be going through a growth spurt. I tried the crying it out thing but I think by 1 they are too old. I could be wrong! LOL

Cutting the baby off cold turkey can have a tramatic impact on both of you. It needs to be gradual like one feeding at a time, over time. Gradually introduce the sippy cup and you can fill it with breast milk. Another idea is for your husband to do the night feeding with a bottle of your breast milk or formula. I heard cabbage leaves on your nipples help prevent engorgement. You can soften the leaves by putting them on bread board and pounding them a little while. I used to give my children some rice ceral before bedtime so they would feel full longer. It might help to play some nature music at night to help them relax, it works.
Good luck
D.

I know it's exhausting! My 14mo old is EXACTLY like that. My older son was too. Fortunately he night weaned around 18mo and it made things much easier. This is such a short time in your babies life, soon he'll be in another more challenging phase! Just try to take one day at a time and try not to get too overwhelmed. It does get better!

Good Luck, I know it's hard. I had a very head-strong daughter that did not want to stop breastfeeding - EVER! She is almost 3 and if I let her, she would still do it! Someone one this site told me about putting lemon juice on my nipples. Sounds weird, but it worked so well. My daughter did not like the tasted of the lemon juice on my nipple and because she is so smart, she just would turn her head - try the other side and when she realized they both tasted gross - she would drink from her cup. She did not cry which I couldn't stand hearing (my husband or son either). It was like she decided to stop on her own.
She also hated sippy cups, so I bought her a small 4oz regular cup and she learned to drink from it like her big brother and she's never had a sippy cup. Don't let anyone make you feel bad, you are doing all you can to ensure you child's well being. Every child is different - it will get better.