My Son Hits Himself

my daughter's pediatrican, Dr. Frank McGehee, located in Fort Worth mentioned that children banging their own head on things can be a problem. He said if it developed to let him know, but it hasn't so I haven't talked to him about it. But he may be worth calling. He is in the Cook Children's registry.

My daughter did that too, as well as lick everything around her. I think it has something to do about wanting attention. She knew I'd get upset and tell her not to do that. She didn't exhibit this behavior around my mother or her sitters, just around my husband and me. We'd just distract her and she'd stop.

She's now two and no longer hits herself, though she still occasionally licks things. Her doctor said she's probably mimicking our cats. :(

I have twins and personal experience in this. One of my twins would also bang his head against things. He is five and still hits himself in the head when frustrated or tired. Try a different doctor ASAP. Personal issues about race can sometimes cloud professional opinion. But to be fair, your son may not be old enough for evaluation too.

Self-violence can be a sign of something else worse. If he is only hitting himself in the head area, it can make neurological problems worse. The brain is a sensitive area. Try getting more information about sensory disorders. Read this article. www.autism.org/sibpaper.html. It's written for clinicians but I love the wealth of information on this website.

A child who can't talk well often has problems explaining he doesn't like a certain color, lights, texture, etc. It is also harder for children to control behavior when tired and/or overstimulated. Keep a diary of when he bangs his head, you might find he can't stand the color RED. Then you can avoid shopping at Target. That type of thing may make it bearable regardless of doctor's opinion. It'll make for a happier child regardless.

That twin was later diagnosed with autism for this and other behavior that was hard to ignore later. Don't give up on your kids and don't let them be ignored. Twins are different that singletons. Find a twins group to discuss your problems and yes there are many, many online only groups to fit your schedule. (100+ on Yahoo Groups!) There are also groups online for parents raising multiracial kids. Contact me if you need website addresses.

I also agree with the mom who mentioned ECI later. Services are free or sliding scale if your child has developmental issues. They also do home visits so you don't have to give up work either.

Good luck

I, too, have twins--boy/girl 2 year olds. My son is also very aggressive and bites himself and bangs his head. The two strategies I have found that work are...either ignoring the behavior and attempting to redirect him or saying, "Mommy doesn't (talk to/listen to/give things to) boys who bite and hit. It really seems to have tapered off, but I remember around 18 months being the worst! If he bites or hits sister, it's an immediate time-out for 1 minute, then an apology.

I don't know where you live, but I recommend finding a mother of twins club near you. I joined one, and it has SAVED my life. No one except other mothers of twins can understand how difficult all of this is:) Hang in there...

Your son may having some sensory issues. Sounds like he is craving deep pressure stuff. Could just be a stage and could just be exploring sensory. Keep an eye on it. Keep checking with your doctor. Remember every child is diffrent and If you feel like something isn't right...
You know your child best, follow your intuition. You may have to go get a second opion from another doctor. Until then.

Durring times he is banging his head or hitting. Provide deep pressure activies.
Jumping,
pushing a chair,
pulling a rope,
play squish hug in a bean bag chair.(sit him in beanbag chair with the chair molded around him.
Sometimes putting in bathtub or pool with water up to arm pits.(With this deep water...AT this age.. HOLD CHILD AT ALL TIMES,Do not leave unatteneded.) Have them kick or move arms through the water.

For more ideas on sensory activies see if you can talk to an Occupational Theripist. Contact ECI- Early Childhood Intervention they can help you contact an Occupational Theripist. ECI can also help if you have any kind of child developmental delays.

Good Luck.

My child did the same when he was that young. He had time and space sensory issues and he craved deep pressure activies.

T.

I must admit that I have no personal experince, just a thought! I am wondering if you could give him something that he could be physical with to use as an outlet for his behavior. Maybe something similar to a punching bag, or those things that you blow up and when you hit them they fall, but they bounce back up. Although I could see a child using a behavior to seek attention, sometimes I wonder if they might have lots of extra energy that they need to burn off. Maybe a little trampoline (like an exercise tramp) that he could jump on would help. I agree with providing a safe place for both children, but I am just curious if helping him to find an acceptable outlet for his energy rather than ignoring it might be a more helpful approach. Like I said however, I dont have lots of experience here, so please take my advice for what its worth, and maybe in combination with others advice you will find a solution! Good luck!!

I agree with Crystal. You just need to move him somewhere safe. My son would hit the concrete so hard with his forehead he would bleed. It did stop after a few months. As for hitting his sibbling. I would reinforce that love from family is the most important love he will ever have. Do it all day in every way you can. He will eventually get it and move on to another even more interesting behavior.

My son is very aggressive towards other children as well (mostly with children that are smaller than him). I too have contacted his doctor among others and they say that it is normal for some children. My son is 15mths and has been doing it for some time now as well. I have done everything that the books have said and I have no solution. The only thing that I have found is that he becomes more aggressive when he is tired or frustrated. So if he starts being mean to others it is either bedtime or time to remove him from the situation. I try to remain as calm as possible because according to some books they do it for attention and the bigger the reaction the greater the possibility they will repeat the action.

I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I worry about my son and his behavior all the time but I have not come up with a solution. My doctor says that he will grow out of it and he has somewhat but all I can do it hope that it is a phase that he will grow out of.

If you find a good solution please pass the information my way. My son is great 90% of the time but the other 10% of the time he drives me crazy with his behavior! :-)

J.

My son started doing that around that same age. He did it so bad that we had to get him a helmet to wear at day care. For the longest time the doctor said it was an attention thing to ignore it or direct his attention else where. Well to tell you the truth every situation is different. For a while ignoring him would help then it became worse and we would redirect him or keep him busy. Then he quite doing it for a while and it was better for like 6 months and then he started doing it again. We tood him to a specialist....If you want more information you can contact me at ____@____.com is hard to Ignore your child when they are hurting themselves or others and sometimes it work, but not if it is against another child.

My oldest son did this and just grew out of it ... he still will ocasionally bang his head when he doesnt get his way out of fustration.

I, myself, have not had experience with this but my cousin, who is now 8, use to do it. She would throw horrible tantrums, bang her head on the floor, bite herself, etc. My aunt's pediatrician just told her to ignore her while she did it (as long as she's not severely hurting herself). He also thought it was for attention. Either ignoring her worked or she just outgrew it. I hope this helps. I know it would be hard to ignore him.

does the older child hit himself to make the other one laugh or vise versa? my boys of 3 and 8 do the same.

So glad to hear I'm not the only one with this issue. I have B/G twins - and my tiny petite little girl is the aggressive one if you'd believe it. Her bigger twin brother who probably outweighs her by 5 lbs or better is more passive and usually just cries when she either head-butts him or pushes him when he has something she clearly wants. Mine are now 21 months and I'd say this behavior with her started around 16 months. It began mostly with her not wanting her brother to walk (she was the first to walk)...When I would finger walk with him she would try to basically run into him with her head-forward. It blew me away. At the time I could only make sense of it in that maybe she saw her head as biggest item on her body and perhaps thinking it would make the biggest impact. When we stop her and tell her "no" then she usually wells up with tears and cries and cries - very dramatic. She also has a tendancy when she is throwing a trantrum to throw her head forward on the ground and bang it. And in that situation again - her crying turns into even bigger crying as she now is not only upset but she has hurt herself. She has also banged her head forward on a table or toy vs the floor. I read somewhere that this can be typical of a toddler tantrum as at this stage they find it hard to express/channel/control their emotions - but with that said I still find it very disturbing. I don't have a great success story for you (yet)...but right now what we are trying is that when she begins to trantrum we lay her in a safe place (on a carpeted floor on her back) and then I walk out of that room. I have come to believe that the extra head-banging has been somewhat for my atttention - she is looking for my sympathy/comforting response. Which she used to get when all of this first started...I was mortified when she would slam her head forward on the floor and I'd sweep her up right away to see if she was OK. She no longer gets that response from me - when her tantrums begin I put her in another room/area away from center stage. Since I've started this the tantrums have become shorter in duration...and when she is done she normallly comes out looking for me - I ask her if she is all done - and then I pick her up and we move on to something else. Anyway - this is what I'm trying on that front. She is still doing some head-banging - but not nearly as much. In regards to her picking on her bigger twin brother. That I've not had nearly as much success with. She seems to want what she wants and is not opposed to pushing him, head-butting him, nudging him out, grabbing a toy from him, etc to get what she wants. It's usually over a toy or some food. Right now I'm trying to do a combination of letting him defend himself (eventually I swear he is going to realize he is bigger and will just sit on her) - and also telling her "no [hitting/head-butting] - that hurts your brother" and often giving him back whatever she grabbed and then trying to redirect her to something else. There are also times when she is frustrated or upset that she will slap at me with her hands - and I just try to be consistant and tell her the same thing "no hitting - that hurts mommy". And if she continues I'll go lay her in the other room and let her get her mini-trantrum out of the way.

Anyway - best of luck to you. If you find other advise and/or tips on this subject - I'd greatly appreciate it.

-G.

When my daughter was around that age she would bang her head when she would get mad or when she was told no. One day we were actually at her pediatricians office when she got mad at me and banged her head on the edge of a teak bench so hard I thought she was going to knock herself out. Later while visiting the doctor she hit her head again on the floor right in front of the doctor. By this time I was in tears and begging the doctor for advice. She told me when she did this to pick her up and put her somewhere safe...ie. her room, bed, playpen. I would do that and it seemed to work well.
You will be glad to know that she is now 10 years old and my smartest most achieved child. She grew out of that stage almost as quickly as she went into it and has never shown violence to anyone!
Good Luck and hang in there!

My 7 year old son used to hit his head on the wall for "fun". He never did it so hard as to injure himself and he out grew it so I never really worried. I read somewhere that this was their way of developing their sense of rhythm. If you trust your pediatrician and they didn't act concern then I wouldn't be. I am sure it is a "phase".

My brother used to bang his head when he was 2.... one time he banged it on the gravel drive so hard little rocks stuck in his forehead. It was a terrible year. He's 36 now and he's fine. So maybe it's normal.

But if there's other things he does that bother you, you might talk to a pediatric psychiatrist. The Holliner Group in Dallas is GREAT! Dante Burgos is one of the dr.s and he's fantastic.

He might have some other issues... probably not, but if it bothers you and you want to find out, that's what I suggest.

Hi J.,

You might want to get the opinion of a second developmental pediatrician. My son was very aggressive when he was around that age and it just progressed as he got older.

He's now 9, but the school district diagnosed him with high functioning autism 2 years ago. Not saying that's the case with your son. But for me, I didn't get my son checked early enough. We could have found it out much sooner and gotten him help faster.