My Son's Teacher Has Leukemia

Updated on August 10, 2009
M.D. asks from Rowlett, TX
5 answers

Hi,

I just found out that my son's preschool teacher has Leukemia. She just found out a week ago and called me to tell me. She has been my son's teacher (teacher's aide) for 2 1/2 years and we have grown close to her through our school relationship. My son is in special ed preschool and has the same teachers each year while he is in the program, so I have seen and talked to her quite a bit over the past 2 1/2 years.

I am really clueless on what to say, what to do, ??? Honestly, she is the closest person to me that I have known who has/had cancer. Up to this point it's always been a friend of a friend of a friend. So this is all new to me. Could some of you who have walked this path give me some words of wisdom and direction on what would be helpful and/or appropriate? I would appreciate it soooo much!

When was talked the other day she said she would love for me to come see her and I am planning on visiting her later this evening and bringing her a gift basket, that is depending on if she is feeling up to it. I will call her later to check. So far I have a beautiful scarf, necklace/earring set to match the scarf, a small devotional book, a card, and a suduko book. I was told food would not be a good idea because with chemo you don't know what she will be nauseous to. Same thing with a candle.

Thanks for any words of wisdom and direction!

M.

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

M., that is so nice to be thinking about your friend. One thing you might want to do is help her set up a Caringbridge page. It is a free website that she (the host) (or someone she designates) can use to keep everyone updated on medical illnesses, so she doesn't have to answer the same question all the time. People sign up for free and it emails visitors everytime the host updates it. People can write on the website to send messages of cheer. and since you can update whenever you want, it often causes people to remember the person with the illness or get clues of what to do to help.

Another idea would be to get with a good church and pray for your friend.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.V.

answers from Dallas on

You just have to be there for her, it's extremely tough. For your gift basket, since she might be in the hospital for some time, you can add some cute button up pjs (bc she will probably have some type of port put in) and a cute blanket. I work with cancer patients and I know it's not very comfortable being in a hospital, so just small things like that makes people feel better. oh and slippers! =)

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A.

answers from Dallas on

Well, my closest friend at the time was diagnosed with bone cancer about 3 years ago. It was TOUGH!! There were many nights we truly thought she would not make it through, but she survived and is doing well. When we talk about the things that she needed the most at the time, it always comes back to things that are normal to her. We still laughed a lot, talked about unimportant things, read silly magazines, you name it. So many people did not know what to say, or talked all about her cancer, and someone else they knew with cancer..etc. She really just wanted everyday conversation. We did make a quilt for her that we had everyone sign with a nice message, so that on those long nights, she knew she was "wrapped in love." It meant a lot to her. And, ask if she is up for a movie sometimes, or take a movie to her..company that can go the distance really is so hard to come by. So many people were there in the beginning, but faded away as their own lives continued, so I would encourage you to make a point to keep in touch. I hope some of this helps, and please let me know if you have any other concerns or questions. Best of luck to you and her! ~A.~

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M.K.

answers from Dallas on

Hi M.,

My mom is a breast cancer survivor, my mother in law is a brain tumor cancer(last Aug) and a thryoid cancer(since she was 12 yrs old) (now she's 57 yrs old) survivor, and my sister in law's mom (my husband's, brothers, wife's, mom) is a breast cancer survivor. I encourage Walk for the Cure, or Susan G. Koman, things! :)

So~!!! I've had a lot of experience with it. Just talk with them daily. Don't talk about it much, until they are ready, or bring it up. Keep busy, lead a normal life. Be there for them 24/7.
Hang in there! Best of luck. If you need anything else like questions/concerns/advice/support. Just let me know!
Thanks!
Stephanie

B.B.

answers from Dallas on

My husband is a leukemia survivor. I didn't know him when he went through everything (he was 17 when diagnosed). I didn't bring it up when I first found out, I let him talk about it when he was ready. It's still hard for him to talk about it. From what he's told me, he wanted things to be as normal as possible. I would suggest letting her know that you're there for her when she needs you, whether that's being an ear to listen, or a friend to do something with and NOT talk about it. If I were in your shoes, I would just follow her lead on how much you talk about it.

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