My Son Wakes up at 4Am!

Hi T.,
Just thought I'd tell you I am in the same situation. I did however let him finally cry to sleep. It was the hardest thing to do but like you I am a working mom and I had been rocking him to sleep for a full year.(He is now 15 Mos.) It is so hard to function on so little sleep! Once he learned to sooth himself to sleep it was so much better! He has been however getting up at 4:00 AM now lately too! I think teething and any discomforts wake him. I highly suggest the book " Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" By Dr. Wiesbluth. My son never has been a good sleeper, and this book has helped me along the way! Good Luck!
H.

Be careful!! It is times like these, when we tend to give in a little because we're so tired, that we can regret for years to come. You're right to not want the baby to get used to sleeping in your bed. It could be that your baby has developed a new sleep cycle and wakes up at 4:00am. He learned quickly that you'll come comfort him and if he fusses again after you put him down, he's learned that you'll pick him back up and better yet - may take him to bed with you and Daddy. When he wakes up at 4:00, comfort him, pat his back , etc. - BUT DON'T PICK HIM UP!! He's not going to be happy the first several times but will eventually learn that he has to fall back asleep on his own - like he does the other 6 times during the night that he wakes up. If you think he's waking up because of teething pain, I'd try Children's Motrin. That seems to work a lot better on teething pain. My oldest daughter cut her first year molars when she was 9 months old and it was clear they were very painful. She also had an ear infection with each one. You might get that checked out as well just to ensure there isn't an infection. I found that when she had one she'd fall asleep as long as we were holding her or if she was sitting in her carseat as the pressure isn't as bad in those positions. Once she was laid down, the pain would really bother her. Even if your baby does have an ear infection - be careful about how you respond to him - those little ones learn very, very quickly.

Good Luck -
B. P

Hi T.
There are two things I suggest:

1) U need to first establish a firm, consistent bedtime routine. I went on www.babycenter.com and researched routines used by other moms, and came up with my own. I am so consistent with the routine. It took her 4 nights to learn waht the routine meant.

The routine allows for them to learn how to put themselves to sleep, and back to sleep. Rocking, music, etc may be fine when they go to sleep, but they wake up in the middle of the night and then can't put themselves back to sleep, b/c the rocking, music, etc is not there... The routine teaches them that "this is now bedtime" and mentally they know what is coming. Babies and toddlers thrive on routine and they're much happier and calmer overall.

2) As for waking up early, my daughter started doing that 2 weeks ago. She was getting up at 4 am too, also due to teething. Once she was done cutting her teeth and there was no excuse for waking up, we used the cry it out method. By the 4th night she learned mama isn't coming back to play or take her out of the crib.

I think once your son's molars finish cutting through, he'll feel better. However, the habit of waking up will probably remain, so that's where u need to teach him good habits again. I also feel Motrin works tons better than Tylenol, and more longer lasting. The twilight feeding suggested sounds good too, however, be warned he may come to expect those few sips of water and wake up waiting for you.

I know crying it out may sound harsh, but it is a sure-fire way for them to learn to put themselves to sleep. Are babies mentally scarred from crying it out when they get older? It has no effect on them and it teaches a very necessary habit. Crying it out is hard on parents, that is why it's so underrated. Do you remember crying when u were in the crib for mama who wouldn't come? Babies learn very fast. In the end, they, and you, sleep well. Good luck.

I think you need to read SOLVE YOUR CHILDS SLEEP PROBLEMS by dr. richard ferber... a life saver...

also, what time does he go to bed? and how long are his naps during the day?
Our 17 month old son also wakes up every morning around 4am. We give him a cup of milk and lay him down with us for the rest of the morning and he sleeps until 6:30-7am. but he has no problem going to bed by himself at night. He's just ready for something in his belly at that time.
Ferber has tons of suggestions for all of your concerns. Read the book. It's really wonderful. You'll have to first tackle getting your son to go to sleep by himself. The rest will all fall into place after that. Ferber outlines a whole plan to make it happen (takes about 3 nights of crying). After that you'll be home free...

Hi T.,

My son did exactly the same thing every time he was teething. What was worse was that he would always have a runny nose when teething and it would make it even harder for him to sleep. We would just give him some tylenol or motrin (check with your doctor how often you can give these and don't give them in combination until your doctor advises you correct dosages) and then we would keep putting him back in his crib.. sometimes we wouldhave to hold him for a bit... but most likely its just a phase and as soon as his teeth come out he will be back to his usual self..

Good luck.
Aarti.

My 11 month old has ALWAYS woken up at night, currently 3 times (which is a vast improvement on the 7 times when he was teething)! He did go through a phase of waking up everytime I put him in his own crib but remaining fast asleep if he came into bed with me. All I can say is that I kept trying him in his own bed first and one day he just stayed there, so hopefully your son will do the same eventually. We used a 'bedtime' CD to comfort our son as well as a stuffed animal to keep him company.

I always use Tylenol but I know other people swear by Motrin. Maybe you could check with your pediatrician about using that?

Good Luck!

R.

Hi there, I had the same issue when my son was about that age too. When he was teething he had a rough go of it. I would give him motrin at night before bed, and he has white noise and takes a binky. When he woke up in the wee hours, I'd give him more medicine (it lasts only 8 hours or so). If it's a short term thing, I would say get him through it and address the crying, but my son turned it into a 4 month deal. We finally got the the point of just ignoring him and letting him cry it out. We knew at that time he wasn't teething, there was no pain, and it was a behavioral thing. That lasted about 3 days then he was fine and slept all night. I made sure to put 4 or 5 binkies in the crib so when he woke up he could reach out and grab one. Every child is different, but that's what worked for me. Good luck!

T.,
For my daughter I always used baby ambesol. It worked wonders for teething. For my kids I always used music. It seemed to work on both of my kids. I still put music on for them. I am not sure if it will help. Just remember it will always get better.

Hello T.! My son and my nephew did the same thing! I had to let them cry in the crib to learn to put him back to sleep. If my son wakes up before 6am I will let him cry. 99% of the time he puts himself back to sleep. As much as it is wonderful to rock out little ones to sleep in the end we are hurting them because when they are 5 and 6 or even older we will not be rocking them. At some time they need to learn to sooth themselves and put themsleves back to sleep.

This was by far the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I started by laying my son down at bedtime and kissing him good night. He would cry and I went in the first time 5 minutes later and hugged him told him I loved him and it was bedtime. Then i set the timer for 10 minutes. I went in and did the samething. I then set it for 15 minutes. It took about 5 days of this and he now goes right to sleep and kisses me goodnight. I had to do it with my nephew which lives with me too because my sister just could not bare to listen to him cry.

Good luck

I read the other mother's advice, and have to agree on the cryout method. It is a difficult thing to do, but it worked on my daughter who was screaming when we put her down to sleep. Now she goes down no problem, and sleeps 10-12hours. Sometimes she may come into our bed at 7:30am, and then falls back asleep for another hour. On a rare occasion, she wakes in the middle of the night, but then cries for 5 mins and puts herself back asleep. Good luck... it will get better.

Hi T.. Sorry to hear your woes with the sleep issue - many of us have been there, so glad you are asking! We had this happen with our youngest - he was sleeping through and then reverted - all he wanted was to drink a bottle. I gave in at first, and then it became behavioral. So, as tough as it was, we had 4 days of a crying little boy. The first night was the worst - nearly 25 minutes. However, I just would peek in to see if he was ok (not trapped in bedding, etc) and then would just let him cry it out. Each night he cried less - by the 4th night it was just a couple of minutes. It was very hard for me not to go in and pick him up. But, I knew in the end he would be a much better sleeper. And - he really is great now! I noticed within about a week his whole behavior was better throughout the day - he was less cranky and better able to settle himself even at naptime. This is just an option to consider - every child is different. This worked for us and the whole family is happy because we all get sleep!:) Good luck - D.

I feel for you! Something about "as soon as he hit the mattress" resonated with me though. You might just want to make sure there's no other health issue involved-- more specifically, an ear infection. If he's had any recent colds or runny nose, I'd get him checked out just to be sure. This was usually the reason for my daughter's poor sleep habit changes (which were always temporary and usually in early morning-- she is generally a good sleeper.)

Now, that being said, my son was a horrible sleeper from day 1 (talk about each child being different!) I can see how the cry it out thing might work for some, but not my child. When I would try, he would just get more and more overstimulated and end up coughing and gagging-- even throwing up a few times. I just couldn't let bedtime be that horrible for the poor guy. The "Ferberizing" approach was better for him, which is to let him cry in small increments, then increase the amount of time you're away each time, coming back in to reassure him. It's more specific than that, but I'm sure you can find some info if you google Ferber and sleep.

You've probably already learned this, but a consistent bedtime routine is also key (e.g. books and lots of cuddles). Maybe even end on the same book every night. With my daughter, I'll tell her "last book", then after I read it I'll carry her over to the lamp and turn off the light, then will cradle her in my arms while standing next to the crib and sing a short song (same song every night). Doing this in the dark helps her adjust to the dark while I'm still with her. She is now 20 months old and sings most of the words with me. I then ask her to tell me "night night" and she willingly does without a fight. I can leave the room immediately (if I hang out, she'll just want me to hold her again and start crying). Like I said, she was easier than her brother from day 1, (still is, and he's 3 and 1/2), but I never got that specific with his routine.

I've also heard of other approaches like waking them in the middle of the night so they can fall back asleep on their own. Maybe you could try waking him at 1:00AM to give him Motrin and a little bit of water in a sippy cup (Motrin lasts longer than Tylenol). That way, he'll still be in twilight-- not completely awake. I really don't know if this would work, but it's a thought.

Okay, sorry so long. Good luck!

Hi T., sometimes at age 1 our babies still go through little phases that are unexplainable. Sometimes we as parents learn that we should not have done certain things in their earlier stages like rocking them to sleep for each bed and nap time or allowing them to sleep in our bed. These things create the most difficult habits to break and in some cases, it's harder on the baby than the parents. Our 4 year old still comes into our room around 4am to get in the middle. When I was a working mom, it was easier to place her in the middle late at night just so that we could get some sleep. The baby I'm carrying now will never get in our bed as I see it's a difficult habit to break AND I must admit that I was warned about this [as well as consistenly rocking her to sleep] by some experienced moms. Maybe some warm milk will help the baby go back to sleep immediately or let him cry himself to sleep. It's going to be difficult for him but he'll adjust to going back to sleep on his own. Good luck!
MichelleD