My Son Was Kicked Out of a Private Preschool?

This sounds a little like a troll question to me but here goes:

Enroll him in another preschool. Why would you want him in a school with this attitude?

If a teacher/director of a preschool told me this...they would not have to tell me twice. I would not want my 4 yo in such a judgmental environment where he was already labeled "not smart enough". Find a new preschool and don't look back.

This question sounds like a troll attempt at getting a bunch of moms to "fight it out" over whether private/parochial schools are terrible. Not going to play....

Um, I have to agree with Rosebud. I taught preschool for a number of years and have *never, ever* stumbled upon this sort of language from the teachers or directors I've worked with.( Most three year olds don't even do much 'drawings of self' unless it is guided instruction... typically, kids might start stick-figure drawing around 4 or 5. ) So, you can see why some people are going to think this is a troll post.

So, as Rosebud says, as upset as you are, enroll him elsewhere. If this post is legit, they sound, well, let's just say "unprofessional" and I wouldn't send him back anyway. Why would you want your kid around people who don't understand child development OR children? Or is there another issue not being discussed?

There has to be more to the story. Or this is a troll question..

I would NEVER want my child to attend a preschool where he wasn't wanted, appreciated and welcomed with love and open arms.
Find another program. He's very young, he will make friends where ever he goes!

If this is a real post, you are leaving info out.

Why would you even consider suing, makes you sound money hungry.

Put your son in a program that suits his needs. And most importantly, move on.

You are being a mom. I had a daughter play select soccer and she was cut before not because the girl that replaced her was better but because her parents were better connected. It hurts! It makes you want to lash out but it teaches the child nothing. Accepting these things graciously is a much better example to make for your child.

Well that sucks, and moving on, where do you want to go. Okay she was ten, you can ask her where do you want to go and it is her soccer career. Still even on a preschool level, here are these other places and they will love you, lets go meet some new kids!! and moving on....

From what you've posted, this sounds like a very bad situation. When my son was in preschool, most of the art work done by the other kids looked so much better than my son's. As a mom, it was kind of hard not to notice. I also noticed that many of the kids could write their name on their papers, and my son had just started tracing it. But his teacher's reassured me that he was doing just fine and that he would do these things in his own time. He is now in 1st Grade, and he loves drawing (and is really good, too) and has wonderful handwriting.

The comments you mentioned make me think the teachers do not fully understand what is appropriate expectations for 3 and 4 year olds. Preschool should never be about academics. True, it's important to evaluate what kids are learning and what they can and cannot do and try and work with them on some things. But preschool should never be about academics. There's plenty of time to work on that.

Preschool is all about socialization. Kids need to learn how to socialize with their peers. They need to learn how to take instruction from adults (other than Mommy and Daddy). Before they turn 3, it's totally normal for kids to not really play with each other but play along side each other (parallel play). At 3, they need to begin learning how to play together, and preschool provides the right atmosphere for this.

I understand it's hard to walk away from a school where your son has made some friends, but if I am understanding the situation correctly (they kicked him out because his art work is not up to snuff), then he will be so much better off in another environment.

I would begin looking for another preschool right away. You can do so much better than this!

You're leaving out way, way too much information. I'll be honest and serious here with you. I think there are many holes in your very vague story and none of it makes sense. I'm going to assume here, at face value, that you're trying to remain anonymous and avoid too many details for privacy reasons.

There isn't an accredited pre-school anywhere that would tell a parent of a "learning disabled" four year old that he's not smart enough to remain in their school. Perhaps they were suggesting a different program for him and not actually "kicking him out" of the school? So what if his drawing isn't on target for four? That isn't a reason to kick him out and I doubt that's the reason.

If the school is who is suggesting that he has a learning disability, then at four years old he's still in the age range that he can take advantage of special services with the public school system even though it won't be through Birth to Three. They can perform an evaluation for free that you have to request in writing (they have a form) under the IDEA act.

But you also have to get an independent private neuro-psych evaluation from your own specialist to take to the school system in case the school's eval says he doesn't qualify. An official diagnosis would legally entitle him to special services no matter his age.

I'll tell you what I think is really going on. I think that there may be some behavior problems that are including hurting other children. Since other parents have to pay tuition for their children too, guess which child would be asked to leave if other students are being threatened to be pulled out? If your son does have learning disabilities then they need to be addressed with special services and appropriate discipline, and until then behavior won't improve. He would be frustrated that he can't learn as well as he needs to like the other children.

So again, go to the public school and get the request in for an evaluation. If your child has epilepsy/seizure disorder then he's being treated by a pediatric neurologist and that means that your child's neurologist can perform the neuro-psych evaluation. If he's not qualified then ask your pediatrician to refer you to a developmental behavioral pediatrician or child psychologist.

Being kicked out for biting, hitting, fighting, injuring other kids I would understand.
Being thrown out for how he draws himself?
Sorry but it sounds like they want to look good and do this by eliminating anyone/everyone who doesn't 'fit in'.
It would be hard to prove - I wouldn't pursue a lawsuit - but I wouldn't fight to have him stay anywhere where they treat him like this - they wouldn't be helping him to grow and reach his full potential.
It's sad he has to leave his friends but friends come and go all the time.
He'll make new friends where ever he goes.
Find a place that's a better fit for him.

If your son has a learning disability (already diagnosed), then I would not have him in a typical preschool setting. There are many great developmental preschools....through the school district for free, that are meant to help kids just like him get a good solid start on his education. Embrace that he may need extra help and get it for him now. It will make a big difference in the long run. Specialized help early on had a big impact on how a child with special needs does years to come.

I would not fight to stay where I was not wanted. Maybe that's wrong, but I wouldn't want to be there.

This makes no sense. Preschool is not supposed to be based on academics at all - so if there's a school that is focusing on that, you don't want to be there anyway!

The purpose of preschool is to provide socialization, let kids learn about how to function in a group and with some structure (sit in a circle, take turns talking, raise your hand), and to learn to negotiate their space using words instead of, say, shoving another kid. That's what preschool is supposed to teach. How a child draws or how many letters he knows is not the measure of anything. It's kind of like saying, "He can't come to preschool to learn anything until he has learned enough."

If your son is not socially mature enough, he may have been placed inappropriately in the wrong class. If his epilepsy is not beyond the school's ability to manage/oversee if for a few hours a day, you've got a bigger problem - but I assume you would have said something in that case. But he should not have been removed from any program without a series of conferences with the parents and the teachers or the director. If this did not happen, you have cause for redress. Whatever their issues and reasons are, you should get them in writing. I doubt they would put the words "not smart enough" in anything official.

The school should be licensed by your state's office of children. If it's not licensed, you don't want to be there and you should report them. (Licensing is not the same as accreditation - not all schools are accredited.) I'm not sure if they can legally refuse to give services unless he is disruptive and needs additional therapy of some sort. But in any case they have to keep written records, and you are entitled to a copy of anything in your child's file.

Doesn't sound like the kind of school I would want my son in.My guess is they truly do not want to deal with any slight problems at all. He sounds fine to me and I am seriously wondering if they do not fear possible lawsuits due to his epilepsy and what they can imagine could result. Everyone is paranoid these days. The world is filled with learning 'disabled' people and there is a huge amount of help which all schools should have access to. And he is little so that is a crock of ***baloney ...I would guess they used the not smart enough approach to weasel their way out of any other problems. Goodness how sad for you to feel so bad. It is their loss that they do not have a kind and caring parent and an amazing child who could one day discover gravity or how light bulbs work. Oh forgive me I believe those people were learning 'disabled' also. And let us not forget that Michael Jordan was thrown off of his grammar school basketball team if I remember correctly.

First be very sure of the words used and also who used them. Is this a private /parochial school? Parochial schools receive funds for text books. But not daily funding for students attendence. Most private preschools do not receive funds for special needs students. It sounds like your son has several issues going on. Is he able to function on his own? Or does he need special one on one care? If so a public school would be required to address and provide accomadations for this. But a private school would not.

You need to find out exactly what they said, what their basis for removing him is. You will be able to move forward from there. It's hard to face it when your tools your son doesn't measure up to there specifications
My older children all attended an academically challenging private Catholic grade school one went on to a private college prep. Other 2 on to public high school we allowed them to choose. My youngest was different. Speech delay, adhd of the charts, emotional stuff. He was not able to go to even the preschool. But that turned out to be a blessing. The public school district has a great early bird preschool program. It provides help for those children who had needs outside the norm. Programs to provide for those needs.

I can't tell you whether you should seek legal help. But I would suggest that you take a really hard look at what you are really fighting for. Is it to prove your son fits in a regular classroom or is it to give him the best fighting chance for a good education?

Find another place. That environment does not sound healthy for your child.

Considering the year he was born it should be pretty easy to find another place. Back when kids were born between 2004-2006 there was so many of them, causing wait lists for daycare and then preschool.

I have never heard of a director using the word 'not smart enough' regarding a 4 year old. I would think she should be educated enough to pick better words such as 'not a good fit' or 'not ready for our program'

Kids this age vary so much when it comes to drawing. My son never wanted to do art in preschool. I do recall there is a specific way kids first draw people and then it evolves as they get better.

questions:
How do you know your child has a learning disability?
Was this program/preschool recommended for his disability?
Is this the only place affordable near you, or could you find another option?
When will he be 5?
Did they give you a time frame? Allowing you to find a new place? Most places expect the parents to give 30 days. Did they do the same for you?
Did your child injury another student/teacher?

I'm going to get sh&^ for saying this, but some of the government programs have rigid laws and the teachers do not understand child are not computers. One daycare stated no child could have a bottle at age 6 months and could not allow it. Sure that is a nice guideline, but not realistic. If anyone here has been around bottle fed babies they know not all are ready at the same time. Sure it was cheap and government funded. Not the best place for all babies.

Well my daughter was drawing like that until sometime around 4 1/2.

She is I kinder now and her teacher and I have teamed up to improve her "neatness" or lack therof....

Point is, either a teacher will work with you and your child or they won't. Sounds like you gt a bad apple. He will make new friends, and get even more out of school when you find a better one.

Good luck!

I'm sure this whole situation is very upsetting, but I think there has to be more to the story... kicked out because of a drawing of himself? I don't think they can give him that label of not 'smart enough' based on one drawing. It could be that they don't want the liability of a child with epilepsy, it could be that he's not a good fit with their program, could be many different things.

Bottom line is that it is a private school and they can do whatever they want and like so many of the posts below, I ask the same question: Why would you want your child in a place that is obviously not right for him?

Dry your tears, and begin looking for a new school on Monday. Your son will make new friends and you want him in a place where he can grow and learn, not be labeled and judged on one picture.

In order to prevent any issues with the next school, I would be very upfront about his epilepsy and ask if they are "equipped" to handle any potential episodes that may occur. Then you can gauge if they are comfortable with his condition. If you get any strange vibes, move on to the next school!

Good luck with your search. Let us know how it goes!

I grew up in private schools. From what I understand, its like a private business, they can refuse business to anyone.
In any case, I have a feeling this has nothing to do his drawing ability. It may be that he demands more attention from teachers.
You need to talk to the staff about it. Getting kicked out is the schools prerogative. Not much a parent can do but keep a good relationship with faculty and plea your case.
I know a parent who's child was kicked out of preschool and she was a lawyer. She was bummed, but moved on and found a better fit for her child. It was just that the teacher didn't feel like dealing with the most demanding and difficult student (hers). Perhaps the teacher is really just intimidated by the epilepsy and fears possible litigation if something bad happened on her watch. We live in a sue-happy society. I know it would concern me. Any way, my friend found another teacher who found him delightful and knew how to work with him.

"Legally, I'm not looking to sue (unless it comes to that)."

In other words, you are making up a lie and stringing us into it to give your fake case some ammunition.

Cleveland or whatever real city, look out for this fake case on your court dockets!

I am a little confused by a private school receiving fed funds. So how can you get on the federally funded aid list? Ask them. Start web searching, if you really want him in there that bad.

Now, my personal opinion. I wouldn't place my children anywhere that didn't want them there. So if they feel he isn't smart enough, I would move on. It is not worth the stress to leave him there with someone who has certain expectations of him.

The drawing sounds good to me. Who is to say a piece of art is not good enough. I love Andy Warhol and my husband likes southwest art...so what!

Remember, the founder of FedEx, Frederick Smith, was a Yale student writing a paper on the first overnight express delivery company in the world. He received a C.

This doesn't make any sense at all. I have never heard of any type of preschool saying a child wasn't "smart enough" to go.

There is too much missing from this story.

My son was "kicked' out of a preschool but it wasn't because he wasn't smart enough. it was Montessori and at that time, he was running down the halls or hiding under tables and it was distracting to other students. he has autism and this school did have autistic children. Like you, I did cry for hours but then I told myself to suck it up and pull myself together because I needed to be there for my son. I enrolled him at our local public school and he is in the special needs room.

I don't know why you would sue the school unless there is a legitimate reason for it. There is more to this story then you are letting us know. There are plenty of other schools where he can get a great education.

Call the director of the school and get a written reason he's being terminated. They should have specific reason's. If they get federal funds they should be able to have money even for an aid for him.