My Son Won't Sleep

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. BEST SLEEP BOOK EVER. I read most of them. Within a week of trying the suggestions in that book - most of which have to do with scheduling - Jack was napping like a pro.

Sleep deprivation sucks for parents and it sounds like your 13 month old has it too. My wife and I have been going through similar things with our 7 month old, but we only have one child.

Try sleeplady.com and sleepyplanet.com

They both have books I think you're fooling yourself if you think you can understand the princeples froma a CD or DVD.

Neither system is perfect but they do work. It is hard and requires dedication and a strong backbone. But I think children need us to be strong for them to protect them.

I wish you good luck.

Are you familiar with homeopathic medicine? Take a look on the web to read up about it, if you are not. The remedy that I would think of in your son's case is called Arsenicum. It has its greatest disturbance between 11pm-2am. Restlessness, sleeplessness, anxiety. If this were my child, I'd give him 4 pellets of Arsenicum album 6c at bedtime for three nights. I don't really know your son's case, but it does sound as if this remedy would be a good fit. The really good thing about homeopathic remedies is that even if this remedy was not the proper one, it would do no harm; it simply would do nothing.

Another very common and soothing remedy for cranky children who need to be carried a lot is Chamomilla. This one, too, can be purchased at the health food store. Talk with the person in your local health food store about homeopathic remedies for children.

Good luck,
C. Springer
Certified Homeopath

Hi A.,

Wow, I feel for you. I don't know if your son takes naps during the day or not, but if he does make sure that he doesn't nap after 1pm. You may have a little rough afternoon, but keep him awake and active after 1pm, and then try to put him in his crib around 7pm. This usually works after a few days or so. Just whatever you decide is his bedtime, stick to it. He may cry and protest a bit, but once you get a regular routine for him- he will settle down. He is probably just adjusting to the new baby and all. Good luck to you and if you need any more advice, feel free to ask.

Molly

hi,,i understand u very well my doughther is 13 months too what i do is i wake her up in the morning like at 7;30 am then when is time for her nap i don't let her sleep more than 30 min.. then wwhen is night time around 8 or 9 pm i give her dinner like cereal,cookies,yogurt,anyhing that she can eat so she will be full,,,then we play a little so she can be tired....that really works for me try it....

Hi A.,
I have a 2 year old and he still wakes up 2 times a night but I started him on a routine at an early age. We either bath him or start his wind down time at 8pm. That means: No toys, No playing around, Just relax with mommy.
He didn't like to be rocked by me, so his thing was to lay on the bed with me and he would drink a bottle until he fell asleep, usually within 1/2 hour.
Now that he's older he still knows at 8am it's time to spend with just mommy with lights out and laying on the bed.
He spends time with my parents on the weekends and he has is rocked to sleep there.
That might work for your son, But my son knows when hes home with me and my husband there is no rocking to sleep. But with my parents or his babysitter he is rocked to sleep.

Just keep him on the same routine and hopefully that will work.
I tried bathing him every night with the Lavendar johnson & johnson and even rubbing lavendar lotion on his as well. That didn't keep him asleep.
How long has he been not sleeping? It might be teething issues, Gas? Does he want to play when he's up?

Good Luck, I know it's hard when you want to sleep it sometimes feels like you will never get that sleep ever! But it will hopefully become easier.

My daughter was pulling the same sort of deal. She would go down for her naps--sleep only about 40 minutes, and then not go to sleep that evening until about 10pm and then be up every two hours to nurse. This had been going on for almost a year (she's 11 mo). So I REALLY understand the whole sleep deprivation thing!! What I finally did was take her outside during the day and let her get her "wiggles" out...crawl around, eat grass, get some good physical time in. Then I moved her morning nap to her afternoon nap (down to 1 a day) or just two really small naps. She get OVERtired, which is why she was staying awake so late. Maybe that's the case with your small guy? You could try putting him to bed earlier, maybe. I eventually just let her cry it out at night--been doing that the last couple of days and she's now sleeping 6 hours at a go (seriously unheard of even a month ago). Anyway, hope some of this helps!

Hi A.,
My son was the same way. From the moment we brought him home he had a hard time falling to sleep. He is quite a bit older now and continues to have sleep problems. There were several things that helped him. Do not let him sleep during the day, when their bodies get into the habit of going to sleep late they then need a nap during the day. It becomes a vicious circle for them. The other things are the visual and auditory
stimulation. A few hours before bedtime quiet things down. No loud TV, radio or toys. This gives their minds time to settle down and begin to shut down for sleep. Also slightly dim the lights if possible. Light is the biggest trigger to the brain. It regulates the internal clock, if the lights are slightly dimmed his brain will start to get the message.If you can not dim the lights, play a game with him with sun glasses. It gives the same effect. Also watch the sugar intake during the day. It may take a couple of weeks for his body to switch over, but it will happen given their are no other problems. If all this fails I would bring it to his doctors attention.I really hope this helps, I know what its like to sleep deprived as a mom. Take care-G. K

At a little over a year old my daughter started the same thing. She had been taking 1, 4 hr nap. She started fighting me at nap time, so I decided that maybe she didn't need the nap. My pediatrician said as long as she was getting 12 hrs of sleep she would be just fine.
As soon as the naps stopped, we started being able to sleep through the night again.
My daughter is now almost 3 yrs old. If she does happen to fall asleep during the day and taking a nap she wakes up VERY cranky and is nasty to everyone for at least an hour after she awakens! Then she won't go to sleep until at least 10 pm. No matter what time she falls asleep she is up with the sun. I am not a morning person at all and cannot understand why she would be. lol
I really do hope she requires more sleep as she gets older. Mommy needs to at least be able to sleep in until 8 am on the weekends, 10am would be preferable, but I'll just keep dreaming.

Hi A.,
I have a 14 month old daughter. We had to fiddle around with her bedtime routine, but once we established it it has been easy.
This is what we do:
1 nap in the afternoon, doesn't start past 1 pm and only lasts for (at the most) 2hrs.
Dinner at 5pm
Play for 30 minutes
Bath at ~6pm(we use the nighttime bath products from Johnsons and Johnsons)
~6:15 we are in her room, this is the soothing part of te night.
6:30-our daughter is in her bed, drowsy and falling asleep
(if her nap runs late then we have to adjust her bedtime, but it is only an adjustment of an hour or so)
I feel for you, but you need to establish a good routine now because I can almost guarantee that your 1 yr old is not getting the recommended sleep for his age bracket. It will take a week or so to get this going but stick to your guns. Also, check out the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Weissbluth. It sheds some light on how sleep patterns change as babies get older.
Good Luck!

I don't have any babies right now so I can't really speak from experience here but I can throw out some ideas. Have you tried giving him a massage before bed time? You’d be able to spend some one on one with him and he will be relaxed. It could be a special time with mommy and me. How about listening to some relaxing or even meditative music? Something soothing maybe? I'm sure you already tried the warm bath before bed time. Does he have trouble winding down? Is he hyper at night? Maybe getting him involved in a play group to release extra energy. Maybe he just has too much energy and doesn't release it through out the day?

HI Andrea Im a mother of four and i always put mu kids to sleep with soft music, even at nap time.
good luck and hang in there ;)

With a one month old I am sure it is very tempting to let your 13 month old sleep as long as he will for his nap. You need rest during the day too (and a shower!) If you think shortening his nap or eliminating it might help maybe a friend can come over for an hour or so to let you sleep or take a shower (just have time to yourself). That way you still get your time and he doesn't have to be sleeping.

Seriously my daughter is 2 and I still need a break in the middle of the day. Sometimes she doesn't even take a nap anymore. On those days I call my friend down the street and she comes to take my daughter for a walk. It is a huge help.

#1. Consistency - get him on a routine and stick to it. The same thing applies for bedtime and naps at your house, grandma's, babysitter's, etc.
#2. Things can change with a new baby. Is this the case or has he always been up all night?
#3. Babies this age need about 12-15 hours of sleep per day. Does he sleep until 1pm and just have days and nights mixed up? Or does he wake up at 7am and stay awake all day? If he is not sleeping 12 hr, make an appt with your doctor for an evaluation.
#4. I recommend the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. The premise is consistent schedule, early to bed, regular naps and it works.
#5. If he is just mixing up days and nights, put him to bed at 1am tonight, then adjust back 15min every night until he is going to bed at 7pm or whatever your goal is for toddler bed time. This will take time, but you cannot try to put him to bed at 7pm tomorrow when he is used to 1am. At bedtime, go through the same routine every night (bath, stories, song, bed). If he screams, let him. It will stop in a few nights. Get him a lovey (a stuffed toy or blanket) to soothe himself. Do not use rocking, bottles, laying with him, etc. You'll be doing that until kindergarten.
#6. Set a specific schedule for your new baby by 5-6mo of age with bedtime, naps, etc. so you do not have the same problem again.
Good luck!!!