My Son Won't Sleep Until Late Late at Night

can you try getting him up earlier in the morning instead of letting him sleep in? he might be crabby for awhile but that might get him to go to sleep earlier in the evening if he's tired. it'll only get worse as he gets older unfortunately. we had great success with the "timer". my son didn't want to go to bed at all and we started setting a timer and told him he could play or do whatever he wanted until the timer went off. when the timer went off he had to go to bed. Now he WANTS us to set the timer! Funny how that works. But instead of him going to bed at 10:30 ish every night, he's in by 9. it's still later than i would like, but it's better than 10:30 or 11!

I'm the mother of two night owls. Short of moving to the West coast where they will be in sync with the time I unfortunately do not have an answer. It is very difficult for my school aged girls to get up in the morning yet at bed time they just can't wind down even when they quietly read in their bed rooms. I've read that you should try to adjust their schedule in 15 minute increments but that has not worked for us. Good Luck.

No advice...just empathy! My daughter finally started daycare and as much as I tried to prepare us for months and ease us into earlier mornings and nights, every daycare morning is like a brutal trip to the airport. Her dad and I have been vampires our whole lives, I struggled all through school and work years with being too tired from getting up too early. If he changes it will be a miracle. If he's like our daughter and ourselves, you can do every trick in the book, force-able early wakings etc, but it will only last a few days and you'll have to sleep in to catch up on your zzzs and you'll be starting from scratch.

I wish there was a parallel universe for those of us who need things to start and end later....when other moms invite us to do stuff bright and early, it's like...um...you get up WHEN??! On Saturdays??@!?! and likewise we have no one we can invite over for nocturnal playdates...I put my daughter in daycare so I could work more (I'm a painter now couldn't do the 9 to 5 thing a minute longer-started too early! I was asleep standing up with my hot coffee on the NY subway during rush hour mornings, and didn't get my creative juices flowing until 4-5pm-time to go home and try to force myself to get tired for "bedtime") and once I drop her off, I struggle not to nap the whole time she's gone! Now I'm just getting into my painting groove and it's time to go pick her up!

Her teacher tells me she sleeps longer and harder than all the other kids at nap time (no duh-she got ripped out of bed at 6:30am!). I was hoping the early schedule would make her tired earlier...nope. She's up until midnight still..we're up chit chatting in bed together til all hours....Good luck-I sincerely mean it-its rough!

My son is 20 months old and he sleeps from 10pm to around 10-10:30 am. I am a SAHM also so I don't mind since I get to sleep in too(and I usually stay awake until around 1 or 2 am). If it is working for you, I say let me keep at it until you need to adjust it for school or whatever. If not, the main way to adjust sleep times is by doing so slowly. Adjust his bedtime by 15 minutes or so every couple days. He won't notice that small of a difference and over time you can get it lowered to where you want it. If you jump from midnight to 8pm, of course he will fight it. Have you tried going to bed early because you have to get up early? When I try I toss and turn until my normal bedtime. You may also want to start waking him up at a certain time each day. So if you want him to be in bed at 9:00, I would not let him sleep later than 9:00 or 9:30 am. Again though, adjust your times by about 15 minutes at a time. You may have to let him cry it out at night some too. Finally, don't let him sleep a lot of extra during the day. Try to stick to the one nap, and just move it back as you move bedtime back. Good luck. BTW the Ferber Sleep Method book is an amazing tool to help with any sleep problems.

Hi--I have to say, it doesn't really sound like there's a problem? He's not even 2, so to change his sleep so he can get up for school in like 4 years seems silly. You and your husband are up late, too, yes? So, it's ok, right? I think it's good and respectful to support his needs, unorthodox as they may seem, perhaps, compared to other kids his age.

Although it is tempting to let him sleep in, GET HIM UP EARLIER IN THE MORNING!

i agree with most others, in that you need to get him up early. i know this takes away from your ideal of sleeping in, but really it's the only way. and hate to say it, but you have to do it on weekends too. have your husband get up one day and you the other so at least you can sleep in once a week.

now once you get him up early, try to keep him busy and happy, and then aim for nap around 1. the first week will be hard, try to make sure he doesn't nap in the morning b/c he's tired (careful in a car!) but hopefully this will do the trick. my daughter wakes up on her own between 6:30 and 7, goes down for nap at 1, and bed at 8. she's 28 months old and this has been her routine for at least 9 months.

My girls and i are night owls also. I have noticed one thing that works is tiring them out. If they get up early and have an active day they will crash at night. The secret i notice is they have to really run around at the park, swim for a while etc. during the day.

I agree-- I'd start waking him up 15 minutes earlier in the morning-- no later than 9:45, and move his nap back by 15 minutes too. And then bedtime. Hold there for 3-4 days, and do it again. I think anywhere before nine for a bedtime is reasonable for the "night owls"-- my son is down at 7, but that is just our schedule.

There has been some research recently that has shown that exposing yourself to blue light at certain times of the day can reset your internal clock. Here's a link to a story about it... http://www.sciencedaily.com/videos/2006/0201-waking_up_te...

I definitely agree with starting his day earlier - 7:30 sounds about right - and then the nap around 1 and bedtime by 8. Up to you whether you'd rather do it incrementally or all at once. Either way, be prepared for some difficult times, but stick with it. It will probably take at least a couple of weeks (maybe 3) before his body adjusts. It will probably be difficult, but if you stick with it I'm sure he'll get there and then you'll have some time in the evenings to yourself, which I'm sure would be a welcome change. Good luck.

Get him up early and let him take a nap around 1 if not then don't let him sleep later and he will go to bed early.

You got some excellent suggestions here, just want to add that maybe just gradually starting the bedtime routine a half hour earlier for a week at a time might help. That's how we get our kids back on track after traveling to a different time zone.
Good luck!

We've had to deal with this w/ our twins. We're still fighting them sometimes about being in bed no later than 10 p.m. and they're 4 1/2! What was recommended to me was to get them up no later than 7:30 a.m. Then, regardless of how much of little bears they turn into, if they don't take their afternoon nap by 2:30, don't let them have it. Then have them up again no later than 3:30. Cut out all juices, snacks, etc 2 hrs prior to bedtime. Hope this helps!

Be careful what you wish for!!! Some of us wish our kids would sleep later in the morning!!! Although I could not handle them being up until that late in the evening either. My best advice would be wake him up earlier in the morning. Do this consistently. His naps will (should) move up, so should bed time. Good luck!

You have to start waking him up. Start at 10am for about a week then 9:30 for a week. It will make him grouchy but stay strong and his natural clock will reset itself. He will eventually nap earlier and then go to bed at night earlier. It will take a couple of weeks and he will be really cranky throughout the process but it will be worth it in the end. Just remember it takes 3 weeks to form a habit and only 1 night to break it so be consistent. Good Luck!

I would get him up earlier every morning, even if you started waking him just 30min or an hour earlier at first, and work up from there. IMO, up by 7:30am is best, maybe even a little earlier (although I work, so a little later is better for you I'm sure!). That way, eventually he will possibly take his nap around 12 or 1, and be ready for bed by 8pm or so!
It will definitely take a little while, and you will have to be consistent! You mentioned you're a late sleeper yourself, so you would have to make sure you got up to wake him each morning! You may also have to do 2 naps a day until he's accustomed, but I would do a regular nap then a little cat nap later.
Sleep issues have a special place in my heart, since my son is 17 months and still wakes sometimes at night! :)
here's a usual weekend schedule (since he leaves at 6am with hubby in the morning):
7-8am- Wakes up
8 or 8:30am- breakfast
playtime
10am or so- snack
12pm- lunch
12:30 or so- nap
2pm- wakes up
snack
6pm- dinner
7:30pm- bath
8pm- bedtime

Hope this helps!

Hi L.~

My son and I are night owls/late sleepers too, so I can relate. I see that you seem to have tried all the logical things to get him to sleep earlier, but the one thing you didn't metion trying is consistently getting him up early in the morning to try to break the cycle of sleeping in late, thus creating the late start and late finish to the day. Some people think you have to do this gradually, in smaller increments. I'd be more inclined just to do it sort of cold turkey and start waking him up at 8 or so, and surely after a few days of being completely out of whack (be ready for lots of whiny, crabby, out-of-control behavior), one would think his schedule would back up to earlier in the day... right? Just my humble opinion. Haven't tried it yet myself, so I am not speaking from experience... lol

I have the same concerns as you, not wanting the nightmare my mom dealt with getting me up for school... I was a bear in the mornings! I don't want to do that to my son either, set him up for years of torturous mornings... so I, too, need to practice a little of what I'm preachin'... lol

Good luck to you... let us know if you find a trick that works!