My Sons Additude

I was just about to write when I noticed the post from Emily S. pop up. She said it better than I would have. It really helps to give choices. Not that it always works, but if you give a couple choices most of the time it gives them a little bit of control. I guess I'd also say make sure everything else is not a contributing factor- like sleep and eating. Sometimes we'll be in the middle of a meltdown and nothing is working when I realize I'm behind schedule and we're due for a snack or lunch. It also depends on what your version of bad is. The other issue would be looking at your expectations for him and making sure they line up with his developmental stage. Sometimes we forget how little they really are... Good luck!

We went through the same with my daughter when she was three (she is now 5). It was like she was programmed to say NO all the time. At points I think she didn't even know what she was saying, she just found this new way to behave or to communicate with us with no harm intended. I don't think at three they are all aware of the consequences of misbehaving, but you need to still exert control because you want to avoid a NO situation when crossing the street for example. So my suggestion is to try to separate the constructive NOs -the kid trying to building self-esteem expressing a different opinion than yours- vs the destructive NO -just plain disobedience-. Be understanding on the former and strict on the latter.

I just got a book called Your 3- year-old: Friend or Enemy? In local book stores and amazon
I have only read about 8 pages, but it might be a resource to help understand them....I am at least hoping that :)

3 year old boys can be very difficult to deal with. I have 2 sons (3 and 5) and my 5 year sometimes goes through a negative phase where he says no a lot and is very challenging. What ALWAYS brings him out of this is LOTS OF PRAISE. If you start noticing and praising him for all the good things he does, he will start thinking of himself as a good kid and will start acting like one. So what I suggest you do is to try REALLY hard to look for anything good he is doing, even very small things (e.g., playing quietly, asking without whining, cleaning up), and praise him for it. Then, try to ignore the negative things he does (e.g., saying No), unless they are so bad that you cannot ignore them (e.g., hitting someone). I'm telling you, within a couple days you will have a new kid.
Also, if he says "No" alot, you may want to change the way you are asking him questions. Perhaps instead of asking him Yes or No questions, you should start giving him 2 choices. Instead of saying "Get in the bath now", you could say "Do you want to take a bath now, or go straight to bed?". And instead of saying "Time to get in the car" you say "Do you want to unlock the car door or do you want me to do it?". So basically give him 2 choices, both of which you are fine with, and if you can make one of the options creative and fun (e.g., he gets to open the car door) this works better. One final thing... I think that more punishment and making things more confrontational with him now will only reinforce his negative view of himself (that he is a bad boy) and will not make him improve. My suggestions above only take 1 or 2 days to do before you see a big improvement, so please try them out and see how they work. I learned them from a couple really good books ("How to Behave So Your Children Will Too" and "Love and Logic"). I recommend you read these books if you find that my suggestion works and want more really good advice. Good luck!

We tell our 3 year old son that he is not allowed to tell us "no" or to talk to us like that. Every day it is one reminder the first time he does it, and then he is told that the next time he does it, he will sit in "time-out". And then we follow through and put him in "time-out" if he does it again. Most days he behaves himself, but other days are a struggle. Children love to test their boundaries and you must remain firm on what those boundaries are. If you don't want him talking to you like that, then there should be consistent consequences. Always follow through with what you say. On the flip side: how often do you say the word "no" to him? If that is what he is always hearing, then of course he is going to say it back to you. Try using other words instead of "no". For example: "That is not how we behave" or "I don't want you to do that, please do this instead." You can still use negative words like "don't" and "not", but get creative. Don't always start verbal discipline with the word "no". Parenting is not easy. But it is easier to discipline your child at this age, rather than when they are older, bigger and smarter. If you need more help on how to do "time-outs" or have any other questions, please send me a message. Good luck!

Sugestion, leave him in his room until he chages his attitude, no matter what just make sure he is safe in there. and learn to say to him.. when he wants something even as simple as something to drink say no... he will get upset then ask him how it feels when you dont dont do what he asks... and let him know that you will start to say yes again when he learns to listen and stop saying no to what you ask. It will be a huge hard and very tiring battle for a while but eventually he will break and realize once again who is in charge. Basically ignore the bad praise the good,.. eventually he will change and be good to get your attention instead of bad... It works for my kids I hope it works for yours.. we are all different so it is just an idea.

I've recently been through a training called The One Week Parenting Miracle that has helped me so much! It is targeted at pre-adolescents but gives you discipline techniques that work right from the beginning. I have seen huge changes in my little girl, and I feel like a much happier mom. The web site is www.oneweekparentingmiracle.com. Check it out, I hope it will help!

E.