My Three Month Old Won't Nap

I didn't read the other responses, but consider babywearing for naps. Especially since you both seem to enjoy the closeness. You can look at thebabywearer.com for more info on carriers etc.

I think maybe this is normal. My daughter is 22 months old and naps great once a day, but when she was a newborn she would not sleep! If she napped then I had to be holding her. I agree that crying it out is a little too harsh for a baby so young. Maybe you could swaddle her or put her in a sleep positioner to make her feel like she's being cuddled. Sorry, this isn't the best advice, but I wanted you to know that it is normal, and it does get better!

I don't think they reccomend Cry it out until baby is 6 months. Are you watching for clues when she starts getting tired. I know if I miss those first clues with my daughter, I have a hard time getting her to take a nap. She gets overtired. Good luck!

Perhaps you should try a swing chair - like the ones that are closer to the floor and swing a little slower. My son was like that for a while too, so I know how you feel. But after we found the swing, he was a pretty happy camper, and usually slept for about an hour. It's worth a shot. Otherwise, I'd say, don't fret - she'll grow out of that habit once she knows you're always going to be there! Good Luck!

Unfortunately not all babies need as much sleep as some. My son was just like your daugher; he only took a couple of 20 maybe 30 minute (if I was lucky) cat naps a day. I don't think there is any need for you to let her cry it out. I tried it a few times but my son just didn't need any more sleep so trying to force it with crying didn't help. On the bright side though my son is now 22 months and actually does take about 1.5 - 3 hr naps once a day. After we went to 1 nap a day when he was around 1 he did alot better with the napping thing. I know it is hard when they don't nap much when they are young. I remember how tired I was too but it will get better.

hi lynne, if you can manage to peek in on her and see that she is fine, give her a few minutes and she should go right back to sleep just don't let her see you or you can forget it. it is normal for babies just like us to wake in their sleep and then go right back to sleep. i know you don't want her crying it out but just try a few minutes without her knowing you're there and see if she will soothe herself back to sleep. she should then take her full nap. i will warn you that girls and boys are worlds apart so if you start bad habits they are harder to break....girls seem to be more stubborn and dramatic (yes, even at 3 months)in my experience. good luck!

Hi L., Your daughter sounds just like my son. Does she sleep on her back or on her stomach? I know that they say they should sleep on their back, but have you tried just flipping her over? My son used to just take little naps until something would make noise. He would fling his arms out and wake himself up. Once he started sleeping on his stomach, he would sleep for hours at a time. And, he sleeps for 12 hours a night also. It freaked me out to do it at first, but he is doing wonderful with it. The only problem now is that he won't go to sleep unless he is lying on his stomach. Good luck with your little one!

Does she have acid reflux? My son who is 2 now and my daughter who is 8 months both have acid reflux. My son had it really bad when he was an infant he refused to sleep during the day or at night. He would take cat naps like your little one is doing. I could not breastfeed my son, but my daughter I am. She is doing much better with it. She is still on medication but she is taking great naps during the day and sleeping at night. If your little one is on formula you may need to try different one too. She may need a soy based formula.

This is just food for thought. I wish you luck figuring it out. But something is getting to her.

My youngest daughter was the same. It was tied to terrible digestive and sinus systems. She had awful reflux, for which she was on meds and that was about the time she starting getting ear infections. We got a little help by propping up one end of her crib mattress (by putting a pillow under one end) and then "chocking" her with rolled blankets to keep her form getting sideways. In this inclined position, her ears and throat could stay clear and she didn't wake up screaming half-way through nap. Good luck... regardless of the cause, it won't last forever. Mine grew out of it by 9 months.

Dear L.,
Every child is different. I had a friend who had two boys 15 months apart. Her house was always spotless and she never looked as frazzeled as I always felt. One day I asked her how she did it. She replied she did it when her sons napped. I yelped, " You do all this in 20 minutes?"
She replied, "20 min? My boys take two 3 hour naps a day!"
You got it. My little one slept for 20 min. once a day. I
was fortunate because she wasn't fussy when she was up, but
she was a baby that needed a lot of Mom time. Now she is 30 and I would love to have some of that cuddling time back

I could never tolerate the let them cry thing either. Your
baby is still so little she may yet change her habits, but it sounds like she needs Mom right now.

Time helps all things and this too will go more quickly than you might realize.

Good luck.

D.

L.,

My son was the same way. Still is, actually. He never napped and it ended up driving me back to work full time. At the time, I worked from home 4 hours a day. The plan was to work while he napped. However, he never napped and I ended up holding him most of the day. I didn't get house work done until my husband got home and ended up working late into the night just to get my 4 hours a day in. And sadly, I'm a napper. I don't function well without sleep.

He was very curious and never wanted to miss anything. He is still that way. I went back to work and put him in daycare when he was 6 months old. He would usually fall asleep for the first time around 4pm (I picked him up at 4:30). He is now 2 1/2 and does not nap at all when he's at home. They have a hard time at pre-school with him. The only requirement is that he lay quietly and that is not an option. He doesn't cry, but he doesn't like it quiet either. He very much likes activity and will not let himself fall asleep. He thinks he might miss something.
On the flip side of all of this...he has always slept through the night. Starting at a few weeks old. Even now he sleeps around 12 hours a night.
I know this is not the encouraging story you were looking for. I often wish I had not gone back to work, but in the end the socializing was best for him rather than staying home with me and watching me work. The reality is, each child is different and sometimes it will take a while to find middle ground that works for both of you.
Good Luck.

A. K

Check into "infant potty training" a.k.a. "elimination communication"--when my son was that age I tried that (unfortunately we moved, etc., so I dropped it--wished I had stayed with it), and he woke up with a dry diaper and cried and then would pee and be fine. I'm guessing his bladder was full and it hurt? Maybe he just didn't like wetting on himself, but didn't have an option?

Also, you can try a baby sling or baby carrier. When I babysat a family of 4 boys, I had the two youngest in the sling when they were each the baby, and it was the biggest help in the world! It just seemed extremely normal for them to be carried and rocked (like they were in the womb), and it didn't bother me if they were awake or asleep, because they were generally content either way. And both of those boys were excellent nappers and slept in the crib just fine when they got older. They were certainly not "spoiled", but instead were very happy babies. (It does take a little bit of getting used to, so try it for at least a week.)

You could possibly hold her off from her nap a while longer, so that she gets sleepier I'm not saying make her cry if she's desperately tired, but if you can play with her for another 20 minutes or so, she might take a longer nap, but fewer of them.

My sisters baby did the exact same thing with naps. I told her the baby sounded colic, and she was eatting every hour, and alot, like 8 ounces. I went to this website and bought these tablets after long research and would put two tablets in her formula and they disolved. You can do this on every feeding, or every two hours or so, depending on how many bottles the baby takes. The baby has done so much better and sleeps. I mean really sleeps. Before it was 10 minutes and back up, and cranky, after the tablets, she sleeps 2 hours or more. http://www.myvitanet.com/coltab125tab.html
Hope this helps. You can research on the computer and may find them cheaper somewhere else. Do not do the gripe water, for colic, I have reviewed and read bad things about that.

Each child is different, sometimes frustratingly so. My first child slept through the night at 6 1/2 weeks. My second not until after 1 year. I also got lots advice about letting them cry it out. I was not a big fan. With my second, my husband moved the crib to the living room so I couldn't hear as well and then held my arm so i wouldn't go get her. After 2 nights she slept through the night. My last, I would rock to sleep and sit in the rocking chair and hold him, I slept and he slept, then he slept longer because when I put him down he would wake up. But you can rock for awhile, put them down and then stay by the crib and pat them until they go back to sleep. In the long run you will do what is best for you, your parenting style and your child. You may be tireder for it in the short run. Just know that you are a good mom and each child is just "wired" differently and as parents we have to realize that and go with the flow. C.

Is your daughter on a routine. Do you feed her at the same time every day and put her to nap at the same time every day? My son did the same thing. I would put him down to nap and he would sleep 20-30 minutes and wake up still tired. A friend of mine told me to put him down 30 minutes earlier than I planned (9 instead of 9:30). It worked! I couldn't believe why 30 minutes would make a difference, but it did. You might try putting her down a little earlier than planned. She could be overly tired by the time her scheduled nap it and that is why she does not sleep very long. Good luck with it! I know exactly how you feel. Nap time for mommy is just as important!

I know that this is such a taboo topic for a lot of mothers and doctors but when my first child was born she was a HORRIBLE sleeper in the hospital and when we got her home its continued! Well one day i was watching her sleep and i reazlized that she was startling herself when was was on her back and that would cause her to wake up....now it didnt matter if i wrapped her or not she would still startle herself and wake up! so at about 3 weeks old I gave in and put her on her tummy for a little nap.....LOW AND BEHOLD SHE SLEPT FOR 4 HOURS during that nap....IT WAS A MIRACLE! I was still a little nervous to di this on her at night while we all slept so i brought her into our room and did it that night so that i could hear her....she slept fantasticaly 4 hours then she woke to eat and went right back to sleep for another 4 hrs! So from that night on she was a tummy sleeper I told her pediatrician this and he told me ultamatly its my choice but gave me info on the suject! Now shes 2 1/2 and shes still a belly sleeper!

my second child was worse than my daughter well sort of he was an angel in the hospital then when we got him home he refused to be put to sleep anyother way than rocking and bouncing and holding...thise went on for a month and I got so sick of it well he was startling himself too so i tried it with him and it wasnt as apparent the first few times but then after that he LOVED IT! he actually started sleeping through the night at just shy of 6 weeks as well! So Im not telling you to put ur kid on her stomach cuz Id get lectured for that im sure but Its def something to think about! Maybe shes just uncomfortable! ANyhow I hope you find a solution soon so you can get some much needed rest!

Oh my gosh! I could have sworn I was reading my own post when I read yours! ;) I, too, have a son who is a fabulous sleeper. He'll be three next week, and has always been a really good sleeper. Still takes a 2-3 hour nap in the afternoon, and sleeps 12 hours a night. No fighting it, no waking up constantly, just beautiful, easy sleep! ;)

My daughter, however, is quite the opposite. ;) She is 13 months old now, and has never been a great sleeper! She's certainly gotten better, but I think she looks like an even worse sleeper compared to her older brother! We were so spoiled by him! Ha ha!

I am also not a fan of "letting them cry it out." It's not that I think it's wrong for everyone (I have several friends that have used it, and I think that's great for them). I just don't want to do it ... I can't! So, I'm here to tell you that you will survive, even without using that method! ;)

I did cuddle my baby girl a lot when she was a baby, and we let her sleep on us, in her swing, etc. as an infant. She's our last, and I wanted to enjoy her infancy ... I remember how fast it fades! ;) She's had better and worse times with sleeping throughout these first 13 months of her life.

For us, we've just tried to keep her in as much of a routine as possible, tried to find something (anything!) that would help be her "sleep aid" ... we've found she likes noise (sleep sheep, musical aquarium on her crib, music, etc.). She's also done so much better after she started rolling herself on her tummy and sleeping like that (with her little butt up in the air). She started sleeping through the night (12 hours) at around 9-10 months, and sleeps pretty well now (once we get her down for good ... which is sometimes our battle).

Try to figure out anything (if there is anything) that works to put her to sleep and keep her there (music, quiet, dark, rocking her, etc.) ... and then do that every time you want her to take a nap. And, don't stress too much about what you do now to keep your sanity, as things will work out in the end (I promise!), and she will sleep better one day for you! ;)

Good luck ... let me know how she's doing later. It's tough (believe me, I know!) having a terrible sleeper after only knowing a child that sleeps well! Hang in there and keep me posted!

Can you afford chiropractic care? MANY people I know take their infants into a chiropractor & rave about the results from no more colic to change in diaper deposits. It's worth looking into if you can afford it. It might not take many adjustments to get her back on track. Another could be is she warm enough? My babies loved to be wrapped up snug and tight like in the hospital type wrapping for many months and they slept so much better.

Hope you figure it out, lack of sleep bites big time. My youngest is 9 and I'm still trying to catch up!

My daughter was born October 16, 2007 and I think they are kindred spirits. We have the exact same issue. She sleeps well at night but cat naps all day unless of course you are holding her. I have a son that will be 5 years old in April and I can't remember when he took structured naps. I was comforting myself with the fact that she is still so young and the nap schedule will manifest itself soon!
My husband and I work oppposite so she does not go to daycare. I work weekdays and he works 12 hour shifts on weekends. I am not an advocate for the "let her cry it out" either. My husband can tolerate the crying more than I can. I will be checking the responses to see if anyone can solve our dilemna. But know that you are not alone!

Well, I ended up following more of the advice from Baby Wise, but there is a book out there called the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley that goes through alternatives to the cry it out method. It gives you a very gradual approach towards teaching your baby how to sleep. Good luck and hang in there. :-)

My little girl did the same things at about that same age. I was so tired and frustrated that eventually it was better for me to lay her down that to get frustrated because I was so tired. She would wake up after 30 minutes also. Everyone told me to cry it out and I thought that was cruel and it broke my heat. Eventually, they won. I was too tired that I was getting grouchy. I laid her down and she cried and I was bound and determined that I was not going to get her up till her nap was over. When she woke up crying in 30 minutes I went in, made sure she was not hurting and was fine, then I left. She fell back asleep on her own. After she realized that she could fall asleep on her own, which was about 3 or 4 days, she began to sleep from then on for about 2 or 3 hr naps, at least twice a day.
It was much easier on me and then when she woke we had better cuddling time and I enjoyed her much more than I did before.
She learned to self sooth and to this day she is a good sleeper and a good self soother.
On the other hand, if you don't want to hear about 'crying it out' then you will have to just deal with it and then when she gets older and you are really tired and she really won't sleep then you will have to continue to just hold her in order for her to sleep.
Personally, I think it is much better on the baby, me and everyone else involved to do it early instead of later.
But you have to decide what you think is best.

I feel for you, my baby was the same way. It just took some time. It is probably to soon to "cry it out" Most recoment waiting till 4-6months. I have noticed that my baby sleeps longer now that i have darkened her room. we let her cry it out around 8 months and that may have helped too. but I did it my way, i get her really drowsy first, then put her down. I think that with some babies it just takes time for that part of the brain to develop. also I noticed that the amount of time she is awake for makes a difference. for a three month old no more than two hours awake. With mine it was more like an hour, if i kept her up longer she would wake up after 20 min.

Dear L.,
I know you want to cuddle her BUT if you will put her in bed while she is not sleeping but drowsy and let her "cry it out" I promise you you will only have to tolerate it for no more than 3 days. It is the hardest thing I have ever done with both my children (6 years and 16 months)I hated every minute of it. I cried outside their rooms until I thought I couldn't take it. But I did it and they both went to sleep so easily without any fuss. With my six year old it took 1 night of that and she never cried again. With my 16 mo old I was not so lucky it took 2 whole days and nights. No one could believe how easily my children went to bed without so little fuss. There is more to this technique. You are allowed to go back in the room after about 15 min if they are crying and won't calm down. Reassure her and then leave again. Start again. You can go in the room as many times as needed but no rocking cuddling etc. Be strong you can do this. You will not believe the results.

Take a nap with her. My babies all slept soundly when I took a nap with them. The gentle rhythm of your breathing and the warmth of being next to you lulls them to sleep. It is a good excuse to take a nap yourself. You probably need a nap with a 6 year old and a 3 month old baby. :o)

I agree - don't start the habit of holding her when she sleeps. I have a good friend who has 3 girls under the age of 4. Her middle one, who will be 3 in July, will ONLY sleep if she's held by someone and has been this way since birth. So, for a couple of hours every day, whoever is holding her can't do anything! That said, have you tried a swing? We used one that went side to side (not back and forth - I read it was more soothing to certain babies). I know you wouldn't want that to be a habit either, but for us that one wasn't hard to break at all but allowed our son to sleep really well when he was very young.

My son was the same way - slept great at night, but did not take naps when he was a newborn. He did, however, start taking one nap/day around 7 months old. My best advice is to let your baby dictate when she sleeps and when she doesn't. Everyone has a sleep pattern, and you need to work with her to figure out what hers is. Usually the best time to try napping is after a feeding. If she falls asleep while nursing or taking a bottle, that would be the time that I would put her to bed. Let her sleep as long as she wants at that point!

Read the book BabyWise for help.

Oh!! I laugh as i read this, i did the same thing u are doing, no two children are a like, they are so different, i had boy first, and i spoiled him rotten, when my lil girl came along..cldnt understand why she was doing everything so normal, she cried when she was wet, when it was feeding time, played for long periods of time by herself..lol..was such a happy baby..but u see, he was my first, and all his doings was me, so by the time she came along i was so exhaused, that i wsnt looking over her every second..lolsometimes we hve to back up and check to see what we are doing wrong ..not the baby, u sound like a great mom..god bless you

When my son was little he slept well at night but would not nap in his crib during the day. I put him in his swing at let him sleep there. He slept and I got chores done. Sometimes I would also put him on my chest and nap on the couch with him if I was really tired. Hope this helps.