My Three Old Doesnt Want to Sleep !!!

Some people have tried "monster spray". They get an empty spray bottle from a craft store and label it monster spray. Then spray every corner of the room with it. Make a big deal out of it.

For my own kids, I got a stuffed toy--a lion or bear or tiger-- and found a story to go with it. Then I told them the toy was their guardian in their dreams and in their awake times to fight of the monsters. So we chased off the monsters and they had no bad dreams or monsters in their rooms. My son kept his until he went to college.

What worked for us...my son (at that time also age 3) led my husband around the house showing him all the "monster hiding spots"...hubby would yell at the monsters, scaring them out of all THEIR hiding spots...kinda felt like the house of Ghostbusters! lol The other thing I've heard others have success with, making your own "monster spray", plain water with some sort of pleasant scent in a spray bottle, you can spray her bed and it creates a "safe zone" for the child.

I can remember being a little bit older than that and afraid to sleep at night. I was so sure something bad was going to happen and I wanted to be my Mom and Dad. So I would tip toe into their room and crawl into the bottom of their bed. Naturally I woke one of them up and it was back to bed and they stayed with me until I fell asleep because I never heard them leave. I got smarter and started sleeping on the floor by their bed until my Dad stumbled over me one morning. I remember we talked about my fears. It was started by a TV show that I had watched with my parents, nothing out of the ordinary, really tame by today's standards. But my Dad got me a water pistol to squirt the bad guys away if need be. I got a new big teddy bear and if I really was scared and needed to hold onto someone, Dad told me I could crawl into the bottom bunk with my younger brother, so I could be his protector. It only lasted a short while, and the bad guys went away and so did the dreams.

Get her a spray bottle at the dollar store. Leave it by her bed and let her know this is to chase away the bad things. They don't like water, they'll melt away. It's okay to be scared and to have nightmares, it's part of growing up. So spend the time with her when she tip toes into your room at night. Take her back to hers, check under the bed and in the closet. Get her a night light and stay with her until she goes back to sleep. Yes, it's inconvienent for you, but it's scary for her. It won't take long and life will be better for all of you. It's part of parenting. She'll be a teenager soon enough and you'll be the one getting up in the middle of the night, tip toeing into her room to see if she's okay and that your nightmares are just bad dreams. Take a deep breath and breathe.... It will be okay for all of you.

When my 3 year old went through this I went to Whole Foods and bought some lavendar room spray (just essential oils and water- nothing that could hurt her) I put it in a clear spray bottle and put sparkly star stickers on it. I told her that I went to a special store where they sell NO MONSTER SPRAY. Before bed, after we read books, we spray a squirt under her pillow, under her bed, in her closet... Then she can sleep with the bottle next to her in case she thinks a monster might come later.

For us it worked great- she is excited to go to bed if only to spray some magic in her room. Plus the lavendar scent is supposed to be calming to help her relax so she can fall asleep.

Good Luck!

S.

Hi, my just turned 3 year old seems to be developing fears of normal thing in his bedroom (for example, the green light on his smoke detector), I just try to explain to him what these things are and that they are not bad. I also hang a string of Christmas lights in his room as a night light which seems to help. One other thing I have tried, I usually let him watch one show (dora or little einsteins or something) before bed. Lately I've been telling him when he has a hard time going to sleep that I want him to lie down with is eyes closed for 10 minutes and if he is still awake he can watch another movie, this has worked every time so far (he falls asleep), but this may not work well depending on the kid. Good luck!

Have you tried giving her "magic monster spray"? Fill a spray bottle with water and have her spray anywhere she thinks there are monsters. My son is the same way. we use magic monster dust too. It sucks the monsters up and then they are transported to the garbage can where the garbage man picks them up and takes them away. He came up with that scenario. I have to say though that my son still comes into our bed in the middle of the night most nights. I don't think it's because he's scared anymore, he just likes to snuggle. It could also have to do with having a younger sibling. She sees you spending time with her younger sister and she may be jealous. My kids are 4 and 2. It's my 4 year old that comes into bed with us and my 2 year old that sleeps on her own. I'm hoping eventually we will all get our beds back. good luck!

C.,

I remember this happening to my son at about the same age. On the good side in means she has a healthy imagination. On the bad side she has a healthy imagination.

What worked for us was to get a spray bottle, smallish in size, fill it with water, and tell him it was monster spray. All he had to do was spray the monsters with the spray and they'd go away. That worked until he soaked his floor with the water. Then, right before he'd go to bed we'd have him climb up in bed and tell us where all the monsters were and we jump at them and growl at them to scare them away. He thought it was hilarious and we only had to do that for about a week and the monsters stopped hanging around.

Hope this helps,
Melissa

It doesn't sound like she doesn't want to sleep. It sounds like she doesn't want to sleep without you, which, in spite of all our Americanisms about how babies and children "should" be, makes perfect sense from the perspective of human development and a three year old. Most cultures in the world do not consider it important to have a young child sleep apart in a separate room, and it is certainly not necessary for her to do so if you feel comfortable with her.

The "family bed" is a very snuggly, warm place, and it is a way to give your little girl the important self-confidence and feeling of safety that will allow her to eventually move to sleeping on her own, or maybe with her younger sister when she is older, too. It's also, by the way, pretty wonderful for you--those snuggles and deep connection with your little girl can go a long way later in life! I'm speaking as the mother of three daughters, one who is 19 and on her own now, one who is 15 and jealously guards her own room, and one who is 10 and has just recently stopped coming in our room occasionally, but who has mostly slept in her own room since she was about 5-6, with phases of wanting us more and phases of wanting to be on her own. I promise, eventually they DO grow out of it, but if you let them do it on their own terms, there will be a stronger sense of self when they do, and they will NOT go into their teens wanting to sleep in your bed! ;)

As far as the monster thing goes--many here have mentioned "monster spray". We did it a little differently ;). I garden and have always told my daughters fairy stories. When my first daughter, at age 4, became certain there were monsters in her room, I took a peacock feather she had in her room, and walked out to the flower garden with it. I then came in and told her I had asked a few of the fairies to come in on the feather and help keep monsters out. Monsters are VERY afraid of fairies! We used that feather as a "monster sweeper" and would sweep all the corners and under her bed.

Went back and forth with all of them between them sleeping with us and in their own rooms.

Hi C.! We had similar problems with our now 5 year old and I purchased the Dr. Sear's Baby Sleep book. He addresses this same issue. It is very normal for her to be going through this phase as her imagination and awareness are developing. She has figured out that she is alone and is probably having bad dreams. Try to work out a really soothing bed time routine. Stories, a bath and don't watch tv or movies the last 30 minutes before they go to sleep. Different things scare different children, but you may be able to get her to tell you what the monsters are. Then you may know where these scary thoughts are coming from. With our daughter, it was really just that she didn't like being alone in her room. We got her a nightlight and when she got scared I would tip toe back into her room with her and rest in her bed until she fell asleep. Usually a few minutes...then I went back to my own room. This phase didn't last long, and it was hard for me as I had adjusted to her and our then one year old sleeping through. The point is, I believe my daughter's fears were real. I just tried to let her know it's okay to be afraid and that she was safe in her bed. Good luck!
L.