Nap Issues!

Try kirsten sleep with you like nap! Or what her favor thing to sleep with Picture grandma or u on wall daytime .. try scheldue time nap. Mostly I put Ashley sleep by music and follow schedule sleep time. Now Ashley is 8 year old and one child. Ashley is hearing, My husband and I deaf..

I say they're only little once and do what feels right to you without worrying about a schedule all the time. At this young age I would nurse mine to sleep. When I knew they were zonked, I was able to lay them in their crib and they'd stay asleep. I couldn't bare letting them cry it out at that age. I don't suggest doing this but I was a stay at home mom and I wanted to. Unfortunately, as mine got older around 12 months, I tired of nursing and rocking til they fell asleep and they ended up with sleeping issues because they couldn't put themselves to sleep, which meant baby waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to go back to sleep without me. I then used the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth that my pediatrician recommended. It ironed out within a week. This particular book has a chapter for specific age groups which is nice no matter what age your infant or toddler is, there is great advice. Good to read now at 4 months and also again later as their sleep patterns change.

I know this isn't the answer you are looking for, but I am just trying to give you a different perspective on the issue. I know it is easy to worry about the laundry, vacuuming and dishes that aren't getting done while you are holding the baby; I am a mom of 3 and I DO understand that! However, next time you are frustrated over the nap situation, try to take a breath and remember that Kirsten will Never Again be 4 mo. old. My youngest is now 5 yrs, and sometimes I long for those quiet peaceful moments of nursing and rocking. Look down at her quiet, trusting face and know that at this very moment- Nothing Else in the world is more important- than this moment. They will be over much too soon.
I do hope she will settle back down into an easier routine for you. Sometimes babies schedules just change! Give it a couple of days and the problem may solve its self. My only advice is: patience. There could be worse things than a child who longs for the comfort of her mommies arms!

Motherhood, at least the first year, is like a surrender of giving constant love and nourishment. It will all pay off later with a confident loving individual that you will be proud to call your own and society will be happy he or she is part of our community. It takes selflessnes and sacrifices beyond belief at times. Infants desire their moms and cry to communicate. Your scent and you are what your baby needs and wants. It was nice of your mother to be there for your temporary work and maybe your baby did not want to be put down because you were missing and the situation required assurance that grandma wouldn't leave too. Now that you are home, tenderness, patience, snuggles, love, surrendering to motherhood is what your baby needs and deserves. An old wise man once said, "This will too pass" and it will. Sleepless nights of colds and teething will follow as well. Easier times will be enjoyed too. Hang in there and remember love and touch (babies need touching and holding) will help her feel confident and less clingy. The problem with letting babies cry it out is it can cause anxiety problems later and trust issues becuse of unmet needs in infancy when a baby completely relies on an adult. YOu can look up causes of anxiety and educate yourself. A baby carrier worked with my 3 kids or snuggling the baby in a boppy pillow so they feel cuddly.

Just remember that what they want and what they need are the same thing during the first year. If your daughter now wants you to feed her to sleep and hold her, then that might be what she needs right now. Maybe she just needs that extra comfort since you were gone for that week. My daughter has always been like that. Always wanted to be held during naps. I would suggest following your daughters cues. The only thing that she's going to learn by 'crying it out' is that you won't be there when she needs you. To slowly but gently break the 'habit' (which changes every few months on it's own, by the way), you can try these things: When nursing her to sleep, do other things as well, such as rocking, bouncing, patting her back, or rubbing her feet. Over time, she will then associate those things with sleep as well. You can stop nursing her just before she falls asleep and continue doing the other thing. Eventually, you should be able to put her to sleep without nursing. As far as putting her down goes, put her down and lay with her until the deep sleep kicks in, then get up. My daughter was the type who would always sleep longer when held (I think a lot of babies are that way). When I would put her down, she would only sleep for about 5 minutes at first. That eventually changed to about 30 minutes. Now, if I want her to sleep longer, I either lay down with her, or hold her, and that would sometimes get me an hour or so of a nap. When she was your daughter's age, it would buy me sometimes 3 hours if I held her or laid down with her. I found it helped me get some rest as well. If you are busy and need to move around, try putting her in a carrier. That will help get her to sleep, she can still be near you, and you can continue to move around. If you need advice on different carriers, I can help you with that, or you can go onto www.thebabywearer.com. You can't 'spoil' a 4 month old by holding her too much. And her sleeping pattern and nap pattern will change every few months anyways.
My daughter is 1, and sometimes she'll nurse to sleep, sometimes she won't. Sometimes I need to hold her for naps, sometimes I can put her down. I personally enjoy the down time if I hold her while she sleeps or lay down with her. But I will say that by following her cues and what she needs, she is a very happy, secure and independent baby. And she has never cried for more than 5 minutes.

I am currently reading the "No-cry Sleep Solution" also. It was recommended by a mom that read it and was successful too. My daughter is 14 months and I still rock her to sleep. I do enjoy that time we have together but I would like to be able to put her in her crib and have her feel comfortable enough to fall asleep on her own. I hope this is successful for both of us! :)

C.,

What I do with my daughter (11 months old) when she has trouble going down for a nap might help. She has started wanting a bottle (she weaned herself) before she sleeps, so I give it to her warm, and cuddle with her for about 5 minutes, then put her in her crib still awake, but on her way to sleep. If she starts screaming after that, I'll go in and pick her up and either rock with her in the rocking chair in her room, or just gently sway with her in my arms right next to her crib. When she starts to relax and get drowsy again I lay her back down. Repeat until she's asleep. I usually have to go in once or twice at most, and that's if she's having a bad day/nap.

Hope this helps,
Melissa

Hi C.,

Our son is 7 months and we established a great sleep routine at 5 months... we tried the cry it out, but it did not work for our son, he would start to scream as soon as we went near his room. I was recommended the book "The no cry sleep solution" and within a week we had a content baby who was on a great routine and sleeping 10-12 hours through the night with no crying. He now goes down for his naps about 75% asleep, will look up to make sure I am there... i rub his back for about 15-20 seconds, then leave the room and he is fine.

I highly recommend this book as we had great success with it both with my husband and I putting him down to bed.

The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer book recommends another option. She suggests picking them up and comforting them every time they cry, then once they are calm putting them back in the crib to go to sleep. If they cry pick them up and comfort them, put them back down. Repeat. You may need to do it many times the first attempt, but then hopefully the second naptime it will take fewer rounds, etc. She should get back on schedule within a few days.

That is how I got my son to sleep in his crib at night after doing most of his sleeping in my arms. It took about 4 nights and I only had to do it a couple of rounds each night. I found the book to be a good resource overall. Good luck!

We had a very similar problem with naps when my daughter was around the same age, and this is what worked for us, although I warn you, it takes a lot of consistency and effort.

BEGIN THIS ROUTINE BEFORE YOU THINK YOUR DAUGHTER IS TIRED. The main issue, I've found, is trying to get an overtired child to go to sleep. At four months, my children needed naps every two hours. I've read that this is pretty much the standard, so I'd try putting your daughter down no more than 2 hours after waking.

1. Feed your daughter and go through her normal going-to-sleep routine.
2. Put her in her crib. She's young enough that she won't be standing or rolling over, so just cover her up (or whatever you do) and leave even if she's crying.
3. After 2 minutes, or when her cries become really desperate, go back into her room. Do whatever you must to calm her down, including picking her up.
4. After she's calmed down (breathing is back to normal and no more crying) or after 5 minutes, whichever is SOONER, put her down again. If she continues crying, start again at STEP 2.
5. Repeat this process until she's asleep.

With my daughter, we'd have to go through this process for up to 2 hours, and it took about a month to really get her comfortable with going to sleep, but it worked. She goes to sleep very easily. Plus, even though this was a TON of work, it's a "graduated crying method" that worked for both of us. Just leaving a child that young to cry, I think, is unfair, unhelpful, and not nice. The method we used may take a bit longer, but it allows you and your daughter to figure each other out and to grow in a positive way together.

I have dealt with these issues a lot. I have a 4, 3, and 2 year old. My oldest has had 6 open heart surgeries by the time he was 2 and a half. When they were younger my life literally revolved around nap time, and most of the time all three were in sync. It feels like the world crashes down when nap time routines are messed up. But all your work hasn't been lost. Go back to your old routine. Be consistent everyday, trying to do things in the same order. I would use a TV cue. They'd eat, watch a cartoon, then I'd turn it to news. Worked every time. Now at the ages they are nap time is a rarity but at 4 mo, moms need that little break. Don't give up, keep trying and in a week or so she shoud be back on schedule, either the old one or one you make up new. Kids are a work in progress always changing and learning. It seems obvious, but it takes time for mom to get used to the changes our kids throw at us all the time. Hang in there and good luck.

I can certainly relate. One thing you might want to consider is a compromise. She is so little and definitely needs to feel safe and secure and she got that with your mother holding her through her naps. Now she wants it all the time. Plus, each month your daughter is going through a new stage of development and she will have periods where she can easily sleep on her own and other periods where she truly needs you to hold her. Your mom holding her probably reminded her of sleeping inside of you - warm, cozy, safe, secure. Now she wants you more because she remembers those feelings. Perhaps you can consider babywearing? This was my lifesaver. I used a Moby Wrap with my daughter. I would lay it out over a pillow on my lap, put her on it and latch her on. Then I would wrap the wrap around her and myself and then remove the pillow and she could nurse and nap to her hearts content and I could get everything done that I needed with both hands free. Plus I knew she was securely in there, wouldn't fall out, and I was comfortable because the weight was evenly distributed over my entire back. During growth spurts when she was out cold for extended periods, I could put her down with ease and go about my business, but when she hits phases of light sleeping or teething and needs the extra comfort, it really helps to be able to be there for her and still feel like I am accomplishing stuff. Plus she seems a lot more secure these days because her needs have been met. Hopefully that will help you!

Otherwise, forcing the routine back into place and talking to your mom about consistency is probably your best choice. If the crying is too much for you, there is a book called The No Cry Sleep Solution you might want to check out.

Good Luck and Remember - You are not alone!

Sounds like being consistent with your old routine will probably get her back to her old schedule. But it may entail a bit of crying--probalby less and less each day, but still...
Good luck!

Your Mom spent a week breaking her of her old habits, so it will probably take her at least that long to get back into them. Letting your baby cry isn't fun, but if you are sure all her other needs have been met, it won't hurt her.

i and most of my friends have never thought a baby should cry because they wont fall right asleep for a nap. or for any other reason. i totally agree with your mama. maybe your baby wants that closeness and cuddliness she had with your mom. i held all my babies like your mom. they want that-it's natural. i look back now, 20 30 yrs later, and i'm so glad i held them alot. before you know it, they're all grown up. it's one of life's little treasures. and your baby won't always need it.

At 4 months, your daughter should be reasonably easy to retrain...my son was over a year when i got tired of him wanting to nurse every hour all night.. This ought to work with naps too... for about a week or so i just stood over his crib and patted him till he fell asleep.. the next week or more, i sat in a chair in his room and talked to him.. then sat outside his room.. now he is able to fall asleep on his own (if he can lay still long enough!) I couldn't stand the crying it out thing, and though this takes longer it was easier on my nerves!
Good luck, i know naps are important...even for a 2 yre old!

Dear C. :) I had the same Problem with my Granddaughter. This soon will pass--Just be patient. Its a learned thing ang can be UN learned. It just takes a couple of days. Do you have a music box or a wind-up doll or toy? I found that if I placed a musical thing near her she was okay and would fall asleep. This may or may not work for you but try. Its the feeling of not beeing alone. At her age, They want to know someone is there in the room. Just a soft soothing sound helps. NO Rock or Rap, just soft music will do. Good luck. G.

It's rough. I totally understand. I think you are doing what's best: trying everything until crying it out is the best method. I always think to myself, "What is best for my baby?" Sometimes, they need to "exercise their lungs" and learn to sleep. It WILL pass. Stick it out and pray for the baby to learn FAST!

Your right C. the only way you will be able to break the cyle is let her cry....she's very young so at the most it will only take 2....maybe 3 naps before she know mom means business. This is something that happens alot with upset sechdules, but soon your daughter will realize what she can and can't get away with when mom is home.
GOOD LUCK!

crying it out is definitely the way to go. Anything else you do she will want more of. It is painful but my pediatrician says it only takes 3-4 days for a baby to change a behavior. Good Luck!

I know exactly how you feel, only in my case, I was the one holding my own baby to go to sleep and I paid for it later. I run a small home daycare and one of the kids came to me after having been at home with a nanny for the first 7 months of his life and sharing a bedroom at night with mom and dad. He did not want to go to sleep alone and of course, I could not hold him all the time.

What I did for both my own son and for him was to let them cry it out. It wasn't easy, but it worked in the end. I would tell him it was bedtime/naptime and put him down in the crib. He sceamed for about 10 minutes and I would go back and give him a back rub, adjust the blankets and tell him night-night again and leave. I did this until he fell asleep. The next day, I waited 15 minutes before I went back in and did the same thing. The following day I waited 20 minutes, and so on. About 2 weeks later, he would cry for about 5 minutes and then fall asleep. By the end of the month, he didn't cry at all - or wake up in the middle of nap time. The one I babysit was almost 8 months old when I started this, but my own son was 5 months old when I did it with him. Now neither of them has any issues going down for nap or at night. We have a night time routine. We change the diaper, put on the classical music and the nightlight, baby gets to turn off the big light, we have lots of kisses and then into the bed with his "cuddle blanket" and he's alseep within 5 minutes usually. If not, he plays until he goes to sleep, but never cries. Your routine can be whatever you want, bath, nursing, book, anything as long as it is the same each time she goes down.

If you keep at it, and are consistant, your baby will go to sleep on her own. Be strong. Your baby will never remember later that when she was 4 months old, you let her cry in her bed. You will be teaching her a skill (putting herself to sleep) she will NEED to have for the rest of her life and your life will be easier in the short and long run knowing that all you have to do at sleep time is put her down.

Good Morning C....I say just stick w/the cry it out thing (it will take less time each day). I would put her in her crib though (or wherever you actually want her to take a nap). Just have a very predictable schedule/routine and stick to it no matter what. She'll be back in that schedule in no time.

You're probably feeling annoyed w/your mom, but the reality is that babies go through a phase like this anyway around this time (usually at night). All of a sudden your angelic baby who used to sleep through the night will start waking up 3-5 times a night!!!! Again, we had luck w/both of our children with the cry it out method (recommended by our pediatrician). He promised it wouldn't take more than 3 nights and it never did.

Good luck! Hang in there!

L.

P.S. I'm a sahm to 8 and 5 year old girls..I too was a legal assistant before my oldest was born!

One book I can recommend is Healthy sleep habits happy baby by dr. mark weissbluth...it is great. I know with my daughter it took a week or so to get her in her routine. So dont give up and stay strong and it will happen. The crying will lessen. Good luck.

My son is also 4 months old. I recently had my brother watch him while I was going to school and a similar thing happened. What i ended up doing was putting him in his crib at his normal nap time, I put in earplugs and let him see that i wasn't ignoring him, but I wasn't going to pick him up. I sang him lullabys and after a few minutes I left the room. THe problem that most people have with letting their children cry it out is that they're afraid their children think that they don't care. Anyway, we reestablished our naptime routine and a week later he was readjusted to the original schedule. Good Luck! I know it's hard.

Hi C.! I have let both my children (2 and 4 1/2m.) cry it out. It is hard to hear them crying, but it is well worth it in the end. It may take some time, but by teaching them to put themselves to sleep you will save yourself and others the frustration later. My children have always slept great anywhere, which makes it much easier on grandparents and others.

Another thing, I might let your mom know what you usually do, so that you save yourself this problem again. Hopefully she will understand and be happy to comply. I hope you are able to get back onto a routine soon. It may take some time, but stick it out. Good Luck!

What you can do to get her out of the habit is, try to distract her with diffrent things toys, music (nursing music), maybe give her a bath with calming baby soap, and then with calming baby lotion. (Johnson & Johnson have a great one.) Then lie down with her, the warmness of you helps them calm down. Talking to them also helps, if you sing to them and rub her hair gently, is also another great way.

R.

Did you have a sleeptime routine before all of the disrupting?

We are struggling too; but what is working best so far, is to keep a routine for sleepy-time. (i.e. use a swaddler, paci, rocking, milk routines, etc.)

It will only take a day or two of the cry it out to get her back on schedule. It is the fastest and easiest way if you can handle the crying.

Letting her cry is about the only thing that will work...it's hard to listen to them get so upset without caving, but it should only take a few days- maybe a week- before she's back on track.

We've all been there! Good luck!

R. Heise