Naps!

My children did that. They get used to you holding them and then the motions stop, that is what awakens them. If you really want him to take a nap without all this, you may just need to let him cry himself to sleep a couple of times. Eventually, he will then just fall asleep on his own, but be consistant with the time that you lay him down for a nap.

Erin and Sherri are right on! I was having a similar issue and now my baby girl sleeps beautifully. It's hard to do but it's not cruel. Falling asleep by himself is an important skill he has to learn and learning it now will be a lot easier than down the road.
Also, I wouldn't do the swing thing, then he'll learn to only fall asleep in the swing-mine was like that, too! You don't want to do anything that he can't replicate upon waking up by himself to go back to sleep. For example: Don't play music bc he can't push play again if he wakes up.
Sometimes Elise wakes up and I know she hasn't slept long enough if she is crabby upon waking. A nap should be at least 45min--preferably 1 1/2 to 2 hrs. If he wakes up and fusses for 10 minutes, let him. He'll probably go back to sleep. The first day is the hardest. Blessings!

Rachel, it seems like this is a hard habit to break, but it can be done. Keep in mind the reasons he might like this position. Might have a little belly ache, might like to sleep on his belly, might like the warmth. Some babies like the warmth they feel when held. Does he sleep well at night? I noticed one of my kids (have three) used to kind of get that cold feeling or something..I would place a blanket under his body while i held him, then when i put him down, the blanket was still in that same position next to his belly and it was warm, so it didnt feel so different and was warm. Of course, he wasn't old enough to get wrapped up in that blanket, it was one of those thin ones and it was a routine only for a while. It may all boil down to, are you willing to let him cry a bit when you lay him down? You have to be willing to let him cry maybe a bit. He NEEDS a nap, you know that, but you also know he can't be held during the entire nap. So, it may be a warmth, cool bed situation, it may be too light in his room, etc..or you may have to just bite the bullet and let him go until he falls asleep..It sounds cruel, but think about it, we don't fall immediately asleep when we lay down, and we have learned to think about other things until we nod off. What does he think about a mobile, my kids used to get interested in that and nod off. Or play with a toy that was safe while they nodded off..Goodluck..

Another great resource is "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. The Mindell advice is always fantastic as well. Pick one of those books and decide if the techniques would be suitable for your family.

Our baby was a horrible napper at 6 months (only napped with me in the recliner). I read the book and followed the techniques and within 3 days (I'm not even kidding) he was napping two times a day and was so much happier, well-rested, and content. We had very little protesting, crying, etc.

Hi Rachel,

Try this book by Jodi Mindell....Sleeping through the Night : How Infants, Toddlers, and Their Parents Can Get a Good Night's Sleep.

After really struggling with our 1st daughter (who was much like your son is now), a friend who happens to be a pediatrician recommended this book. We didn't know any better at first, and didn't even seek real help until around 10 months when we were so overwhelmed and exhausted. Don't wait! Even though it seemed to be a waking early, sleeping on us, and never napping issue, establishing a consistent bedtime routine (as discussed in the book) was what changed it all. Now I also have 22 month old twins. They started the same bad sleep habits at around 4-6 months old, and I reread the book and did it all over again times 2. Again, it worked like a charm, and we're still grateful now!

Good luck!!

Mine is the same. She does not do naps! I have read that some children take log naps some don't. The important thing is that he is sleeping 14 hours or so total for the day, no matter how he gets it in. Mine goes to bed at 7:30pm wakes up at 6 am and manages to get in about 3-5 hours of naps in suring the day. I tried to make her go to sleep, and I have found out, she will sleep when she is tired. Now that might mean that it will take three days to do laundry, but it is her world!

Instead of picking him up and putting him on your shoulder, try just putting him straight to his crib or his bouncy/swing/etc. for a nap. That way you're not shifting him around as much.

You could try putting him in his crib before he's asleep. This way when he wakes up he's not scared, because he will know where he is. If you let him fall asleep on you and then lay him down he will cry the first time he wakes up. He's expecting to still be on your shoulder, but instead is surprised by being in bed. He will probably have to cry himself to sleep at first....which can be harder for you then him....but it will pay off in the end. My 8 month old goes right to bed for naps or nighttime without a problem. He usually chatters a little and then lays down and goes to sleep on his own. He used to cry and fight sleep like your son, but since trying what I had explained previously, he's doing great now!!

Hi,
Babies before 6 months have very irregular sleep schedule and seem to take just short naps during the day. Sometimes kids as young as 6 moths may be ready for their sleep training. I know it sounds scary and for sure it is not easy specially for moms. Just make sure you will keep your daily going to bed routine/ naps routine, make sure your child is not hungry, that his diaper is dry and try to put him down awake so he can learn to sooth himself to sleep. When he cries don't immediately walk in his room- just let him cry( the hardest part) a little. Every day make that "cry time "longer.And do not feel guilty- if he has all he needs it is really ok to let him learn to sooth himself to sleep. There is also a book that might be very halpfull- I don't remember author or exact title but I think it's HEALTHY SLEEP HABITS.
At first that book seemed to be weird to me but it really worked and made my days easier. GOOD LUCK. p.S I read all responses for your question after I posted mine but it looks like me and other moms are on the same page with that.:)))

Hi, No, No....do not start letting him sleep on you; it will be what he will expect and it will be what you will give into just to stop his crying and for him to get a nap. Both of my boys napped in their cribs during nap time and neither were confused about time of day. The room is brighter than normal and their bodies and minds just know it's not night time! My boys would sleep in their cribs on weekends for their nap and then once started daycare would nap in their crib there and then did well when it came to night time. Just be strong....lay him down and cry it out a bit. Maybe after 5 -10 minutes go back in and reassure him you are near. He will tire and then quiet will prevail! Good Luck....Check out some books or websites about this too, if you haven't yet! My son is 4 and still naps on his cot for about 1 1/2 hours at his daycare. Naps can happen up until 4 or 5! Oh, my sister in law let her daughter lay on her to nap, and eventually it was the ONLY way she would nap...even during holidays she would need to lay on her and her only! This happened until she was 3 1/2 years old; obviously she didn't work outside the home! It was so hard... C. M.

I agree with the people saying to try to put him down awake. My daughter was a horrible napper until she was about 7 or 8 months old. She never napped for more than 30 or 45 minutes unless I was holding her. I don't remember at exactly what age I started putting her down awake to nap, but I think it was around 4 months. I did it for the morning nap and I would immediately get in the shower. She did cry but I couldn't hear it as much in the shower (and I knew she was in a safe place). Usually by the time I was out of the shower and dressed, she was asleep and I had about 1/2 hour to get stuff done or just relax.

When she turned about 7 or 8 months she became a better napper and would nap for 1-2 hours at a time. Now at 2 yrs 4 months, she takes one nap for anywhere from 1.5-3 hours. She goes to bed awake and sometimes chats and plays for quite a while before falling asleep. Good luck!

I hate to say it but you may have to just put him down to take a nap without the shoulder thing, babies usually learn how to pacify themselves if you don't do it for him, its natural and he may cry a while but in the end he will go to sleep if you let him.

I haven't really read all the responses to your two questions so maybe this has already come up, but the two questions seem related to me. Is your son going to bed at 8 pm, sleeping until 5:30 am and then not napping (or not napping well) during the day? In my experience, a baby that age needs about 15 hours of sleep a day. It seems counterintuitive, but if he's over tired, he'll fall asleep less easily. I'd try putting him to be at night earlier, maybe start at 7 pm, and first see if he sleeps longer in the morning. If he's getting the amount of sleep he needs at night, he'll be easier to nap in the day. I know some parents who've even had to put their babies to bed at night as early as 5:30 or 6:00 to get them to sleep as long as they need to. Sleep begets sleep, that's my advice. Sleep is so important for an entire family's health. Check out Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child if you haven't already. Good luck!

he has reflux and it hurts to lie down, let him sleep in a car seat or swing so he is upright.
J.

You are correct if you give in to him he will continue the routine of wanting to sleep with you or on you. When you put him down for the nap, let him cry. He will eventually fall asleep. I know it is hard to hear him cry and it is of our nature to comfort them when they are sad. However, in this case you need to let him learn this nap habit. Be strong, in the long run it will be good for both of you. He will be a happier child with the rest and you will be a happier Mom with alittle more of your time. Trust me, you will need it!!!

I have read a lot about sleep issues and from what I have learned, children need to be "trained" to nap - it is not natural. They would rather be up, playing and learning about the world around them! Don't give up! Too many parents decide their child is just "not the napping type", but that's just because they haven't learned yet how to take their naps. Continue to put your child down for a nap consistently every day. If he starts to cry, go and check on him after a minute, then after five minutes, then after 10, and so on. It may take a week or so, but soon enough you will find the number of times you have to go in and sooth him will diminish and eventually disappear completely once he learns that it is time to nap. And you will have these blessed breaks to look forward to each day - they can be lifesavers.

Try swaddling, and white noise. I also put my babies to sleep on their tummys (not swaddled of course). I know it's not recommended (SIDS), but I have an angel pad that detects the breathing.

Read Secrets of The Baby Whisperer. This book addresses issues like this (to a "T"). It tells you how to avoid creating bad habits (of many kinds) and gives you the tools and what to do step by step. It's clear, precise, and it works!

By 3 months babies are on their routine (if they've been given one) and eating, sleeping etc. are predictable and easy. I used the steps from this book and indeed it worked this way with my son. At 6 months there were times he didn't nap (teething, growth spurts, gas...reasons varied), and, overall he maintained the structure of our routine just like clockwork, just like the book says if you put it in place without getting into bad habits. :)

Much luck!

Jen

Get him a little more tired out.Play with him longer, exercise his arms and legs while singing to him (so he feels you're playing with him), play itsy bitsy spider and tickle him at the end. You'de be surprised how effective playtime can be.

I had this problem with my firstborn. I spent the first four months carrying him all the time. He would sleep with us at night and I'd literally have him attached to me all day. It was exhausting as much as I loved snuggling with my baby. We realized that was had to put a stop to it for my sanity (and really for his benefit too). We began putting him in his bassinet even though he cried. We started with a short amount of time and kept building it up. Each time we we go in there and talk to him but not pick him up. Then we'd leave and wait for another short amount of time before doing the same thing. He learned that he had a thumb and forefinger that he could loop together and shove in his mouth to comfort him. After that, he cried much less and even started sleeping in his crib at night. We were all a lot happier and I even got some things done around the house! Warning: It will be LOUD and it will stress you out, but it will be OK and "this too shall pass!"

My first one like her swing. We would put a Fisher Price padded piano that had lights that lit up in front of her hanging on our child gate. It played music and had a light show you could set to run for a while. She would swing and watch that until it lulled her to sleep. Also, be consistent. Another response of putting him down and going back in at 5 min intervals worked well for me for bed time. I wouldn't pick her up if she was crying, just lay her back down and rub her back for a few minutes and leave again. In 3-4 nights she would go to sleep alone. Good luck.