Naps... Are They Too Short??

I'm also a 1st time mom. Renee is only 3 days younger than Isaac. I found a book called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Weissbluth. It is SO helpful. I strongly recommend that you get it. I learned that babies at this age should have a early (between 6 and 8pm) bedtime. I have followed the books suggestions exactly. Renee goes to bed between 6-6:30. Gets up to eat around 3 or 4am then goes right back to sleep. Then gets up for the day at 7am. Today she took 2 naps (9-11 and 1-4). When I put her down for a nap or for the night, she cries for less than 5 minutes (often she doesn't cry at all). When she's awake, she is happy and smiling. I am also exclusively breastfeeding. Let me know if you have any other questions. Hope this helps.

Hi, A.. I don't want to overwhelm you with advice. But here's another option: At the naptimes, swaddle Isaac, give him his binky, put him in a swing, add white noise (like radio on the wrong station). These things comfort all the babies I work with--regardless of other factors...

Let us know what you tried and how it worked!

I feel your frustration, my son was the same. I figured he was just growing and needed the extra calories at night, hence the constant eating at night.
As far as the naps go... you could try a few things. Make sure the room is warm and DARK. We play soft music throughout his naps, Norah Jones to be exact. :)
I admit for awhile there to keep him asleep... I used the stroller... put it in the full recline position, put a blanket over it to block light and rolled it back and forth each time he stirred. It wasnt too bad since I work from home and just kept the stroller right next to me. The trick to this... the bumpier the better... we have a threshold between our kitchen and dining room. I would just roll the stroller back and forth over that bump. Instant sleep.
Good Luck... things will get back on schedule... give it some time.

OR... you could just tell your husband to come home earlier... LOL.. :D

You can lengthen naps by coming in as soon as he wakes and patting him on the back and shushing in his ear. Be firm and it may lull him back to sleep. Try putting him on his side to pat him and then gently lay him back down once he gets sleepy. You can also go in after about 25 minutes and gently get him to stir (not wake). That will help him sleep through the shift into the next sleep cycle (each about 20 minutes long). This also works to extend nighttime sleep.

The reason he falls into that deep sleep for nighttime in the evening is because the ideal bedtime for most babies and children until 12 or so is between 6-8p. If you try to put him to bed later, he can get overtired and that can cause more night wakings. Try to limit his day sleep to no more than 3-4 hours total, otherwise he will sleep less at night. To feed at night, top him off before you put him down, and then when you are ready to go to bed, pick him up (while he is still sleeping) and feed him. He will keep sleeping or wake only slightly. This is the least disruptive way to feed at night AND help them sleep 12 hours at night. At this age, two wakes for feeds is appropriate.

Lastly, if you can work toward feeding him only every four hours during the day, that will help him sleep through the night because he will be able to go longer without getting hungry.

www.babywhisperer.com and Twelve Hours in Twelve Weeks (book) are great resources!

My mother in law had all sorts of theorys about how to get a baby to sleep throught the night, including waking him up from am nap so they would be tired at night. The thing was that I am a stay at home and I was willing to let the baby decide what his schedule would be, to an extent. Obviously if his days and night had been mixed up or something I would have had to do soemthing else. I've heard that some babies don;t sleep through the night for a very long time, maybe your baby is one of them. Does your baby sleep in the same room as you, and do you use a monitor? I breastfed my son and kept in my room for the first three months (in a cradle). Everytime he would wimper or stir I;d be up feeding him. Eventually when he outgrew his cradle and we moved him to his crib in his own room it seemed like he didn'd need to eat as often in the night, eventually I turned off the monitor. What this did was keep me from responding to his every noise, and I think eventually he figured out how to get himself back to sleep on his own. As far as my sons naps have gone (he's 11 months old now), they have def. become shorter and shorter as time has gone by.

Its really tough to keep a 3month old awake during the day, eventually they will get on a schedule my son took a few naps a day at that age and at 2months old he started sleeping thru the night. All babies are different. You can always give him rice cereal in a bowl and try to spoon feed him, or mix a little cereal in a bottle (if he will drink from a bottle) and just make it a little thick.

Hope that helps
Good Luck
G.

Dear A.:
It sounds like your baby has pretty well regulated his own nap and bedtime patterns for the time being, at least. It is understandable that you want Dad and Isaac to bond in the evenings, but sometimes trying to tinker with their schedules is more trouble than it is worth. After four children, I personally think kids being tired and cranky and ready for bed at 6 or 7 sounds wonderful! Is is possible, that with both their schedules, they could connect (briefly) on weekday mornings, or on the weekends? Don't forget that in a few short years Isaac will be in preschool, and then grade school, and you wll want him to be tired and ready for bed nice and early,anyway. Remember, you and your husband need some time alone, too, to visit and reconnect as a couple. Those (probably temporary) early bedtimes for your baby sound like the perfect opportunity!
Good Luck,
J. H.

Hi A.!!!

My son is now almost 8 months old and I went through the same thing you are. I started my son on cereal when he was 3 1/2 months old because he wouldn't sleep. I did not get the Dr.'s permission my Mom told me to do it and I did. Like she said he's my baby and I'm allowed to do what I think is best for him. It turned out he needed a little something extra to help him stay satisfied enought not to wake up during the night as often. As far as the naps go I recently had the same problem with my son and I ended up just having to leave him in his crib until he fell back asleep. It took about a week of him crying and crying before he got the concept and now he sleeps for 1-2 hours 2 times a day for his naps. I am was never a fan of the "cry it out method" that's why I didn't want to try this but it worked. I only go to get him if I can tell he is hysterical. It is really tough the first week and believe me I thought I was being a bad Mommy but it worked and now he gets the much needed sleep during the day for his naps!! I hope this helps.

Many people mention starting him on cereal. NO WAY! I wouldn't start him on cereal until AT LEAST 4 months, but even then that is a bit early (unless a doctor tell you to start it). My son started at 3 1/2 months, but it was to try to get him to gain weight.
At his age, its hard to get a set routine in naps because they change their schedules so frequently. My son wasn't on a set routine for napping/bedtime until about 8 months...and he's been doing good since. He's now 14 months and takes 2 naps a day. Morning nap is at around 10-11 for about 2 hours and late afternoon is at about 3pm to about 4:30-5 and he sleeps for about 8-10 hours a night.
My suggestion is try to feed him a little more at night and if he's not getting enough breastmilk you could suppliment with formula to make sure he's getting nice and full before bed.

I would avoid starting solids at this point as others have suggested. He is far too young to digest it. You need a strict routine. If you enforce a routine that lets say he wakes at 6 and eats every single day, then you feed him whether he appears hungry or not every 4 hours from there. He may still be young enough that every 3 is appropriate especially if you have been sometimes feeding him that often. I started a strict routine from day one with all three of my kids. I also fed them a little more often (at his age every 2-3 hrs so there was an extra feeding before bed) in the evening time. They woke up at the same time every day and were fed every 3 hours at first and as they got older it stretched to every 4 hrs. The naps fell inbetween feedings and my kids all napped at the same time every day...even together. With my youngest child, she would be the only one taking morning naps but she and her brothers had the exact same afternoon nap every day. Think of it along lines of wake, eat, play, eat snack (for an infant it is just another feeding, but as they grow to be a toddler it becomes a snack at that feeding), nap, play, eat, nap, eat snack, play, eat, play, eat, bedtime for the night.

The same kind of schedule broken down in actual times for an infant:
6:30am wake, get dressed/changed
7:00am eat breakfast
7:30am - 10:00 play
10:00a eat snack (another regular feeding for infant)
As soon as the child is done eating, try not to let him fall asleep while nursing, then lay him in bed and let him finish going to sleep on own.

This is the tricky part. Our morning naps ended up changing a bit as the baby got older. It started as a 2 hour nap and then gradually became a 45 min nap. With my 1st child he even went back to a 2 hour morning nap, but spent his afternoon sleeping only 45 min. So he swapped the nap routine a bit for a while. Just be sensitive to his needs and pay attention to when he needs his naps. If he is fed on routine, he won't be cranky and the naps will fall in line.

1:00pm eat lunch followed immediatly by nap
1:30-3:30 nap
5:00pm eat dinner
7:00pm eat snack followed by bedtime routine

I am sure you will figure out what works best for you and your family. I know a strict routine worked wonders for us and most everyone else I know who has followed a strict routine has had pleasant, happy, children that are great sleepers. Good luck!

B. :)

I definitely agree with everything Melissa S said. My baby is also exclusively breast fed, and she is 6 1/2 months old now. She takes 2-3 naps a day(30 mins, just like your boy) and goes to bed between 7-8 p.m. I don't let her take naps after 5 p.m. But, she still wakes up 2 or three times at night. If I go in and feed her, she is usually back asleep in about ten minutes time, and I go right back to bed, too. Anyways, just some encouragement on the breastfeeding...breastfed babies do need to eat a little more often than formula fed babies, but it's just because breastmilk is so much easier for them to digest.

hi A. W., i have 4 children the youngest is 3months old born on the 14 of nov. i dont claim to be an expert but my advice is to get him on a schuedule start either with wake up time or bedtime which ever you might feel is easier to start with. i formula feed my daughter so your feedings might be a little closer together. she eats 6 pounces every 4 hours she has since about 2 months. she wakes up at 6am has a bottle and goes back to bed then she wakes again at 10 am and stays up for an hour or so and goes back to bed again. she wakes up at 2pm and has a bottle plays for a little bit and then takes an evening nap and then at 6pm she has a bottle plays and a short nap. by 8pm she is up we do the bath and get ready for bed and by 9:30 she is ready for a bottle and bed. a schuedule is definitely a good thing and if you stay at home its even better. word of advice when he takes a nap dont tip toe around the house, and continue on your normal routine also sleep him in different areas from time to time one time in his crib next time in his pack and play or something like that. later on he will be able to sleep everywhere and anywhere. i hope this helps you, mom of 4 and home child care provider.

Have you tried keeping him up till his normal bed time and putting him to bed then. Then wake him up at the time you normally would. I know this may make for a cranky baby for a few days but it may help in the long run. We have to get our daughter up at 6 or 7 in the morning on the weekend or she wont nap then she is ready for bed at 5 and sleeps til 2 if we don't wake her up.

Although I had to stop breast feeding after 2 weeks, my son did kind of the same thing. At 3 months I started introducing the spoon and cereal mixed really thin with formula at around 1pm. The babysitter said he loved it and started taking longer naps. Maybe you could mix a small amount of baby cereal with breast milk around lunch time and it might work for you too. Talk to your pediatrician and or breast feeding counsler to make sure. Some doctors don't think you should introduce food til 6 mo. I didn't have a choice, my son was too cranky from not enough sleep. I did it as well in the evening around 7pm and he slept most nights at least 6-7 hours. What a relief it was to sleep that long.

My son refused to sleep more than 30 minutes at a time, even at night, for the first 3-4 months, so he ended up sleeping in a swing. It was on of those aquarium cradle swings that allows them to recline like an infant car seat. I always felt kind of guilty about sticking him in the swing to sleep instead of his bed, but it was the only way for me to get any sleep at all, so I did it. (At around four months the swing stopped working and I put him in his crib instead of buying a new one. It took some work, but he was used to sleeping for longer stretches by then and he got used to it.) He would take one long nap during the day in it as well. It might be worth a try if you have a swing he will nap in. Maybe put him in it for the last nap of the day if nothing else, so he'll sleep a little longer and dad will be able to enjoy him for a bit when he gets home. Good luck!

A.,
You seem to have a lot of good advice, I have to go with starting him on foods, is a little soon though. Have you tried letting him stay in his crib a little while after he wakes up to see if he will go back to sleep after his 30 min. power nap. Another thing to try is too rock him and get him to take another nap sometime during the day. Well hopefully with these and everyone elses suggestions, something will work for you. Just remember every child is different, and most of the time they set their own schedules regardless if we like them or not.
Good luck

Have you started to give him any cereal yet.. he just might want more then milk right now..I know I had my kids on ceral by his age. he will sleep like a rock once his lil belly is full. good luck I hope you find somehting that works

I'm not sure what to do about the naps, but have you read "Becoming Babywise"? Our minister recommended it to us when we had our daughter last year. According to the book, the biggest helper in getting your child to sleep through the night is actually feeding them more often during the day. We fed Savannah every 2-3 hours from the time she was born. She started sleeping through the night for at least 6 hours at 5 weeks old. As did my minister's 4 children. She takes in enough food during the day that she doesn't need to wake up at night to eat. Now that she's almost six months we still feed her about every 3-4 hours, with food at three of the feedings. It's just an idea. It doesn't work with all kids, but I figure as with everything in parenting, you just try what feels right to you until it works for your family! :)

I highly recommend the book and website The Baby Whisperer: http://www.babywhisperer.com/smf/. The ladies there are very helpful and will help you sort out the day. :)

A.,
My four month old had almost the exact schedule at 3 months and has just recently changed a little. He naps about 3 times a day lasting 30 to 45 minutes he to was up at 12,4 and 6! Now that he is daycare fulltime, I have noticed that he usually takes at least one 2 hour nap in the afternoon and when I pick him up at 5:30 I take him home and we play for about an hour to wear him down by then he is kinda cranky and ready to eat. I too pump him as full as possible before about 7:00 pm then he starts getting tired and is ready for bed at 8:00. If I have gotten him to eat enough, he will sleep through most nights now until about 5:00 when he eats a little bit, then back to bed until 6:00 when he usually wakes up for the morning. If I vary from my night activity and try to put him down earlier or don't get him to eat enough he reverts back to the 12, 4 and 6 where he will just wake and eat a little then back to bed. Keeping him awake and occupied from the time I pick him up until bedtime is not always easy, but I have learned that a routine really does pay off in the end. PS, I am also exclusively breastfeeding but I find when I pump and feed him from a bottle at night he eats more and sleeps alot longer. A few times lately I did not have time to pump or was just easier at the time to feed him "off me" and he keeps falling asleep and doesn't eat as much and he reverts to the 12, 4 and 6 where he wants to eat again.

Not sure if you are pumping or what your thoughts on it are, but I started doing it early only because my son was a real sleepy eater...he would always fall asleep after only a few moments and I felt like I was doing nothing but nursing.

T.

because of that growth spurt it may be time for more exercise in the morning, that may help him sleep longer.
Good luck

Get your hands on Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child, the book. It is excellent at explaining approximately how much sleep babies need at different stages. But, what it says is that most children, from babies up to older children have an internal clock where they wake up around 6-7 am (no matter how late you try to keep them up at night), need naps around 9, 1, and possibly 3-4 if they still need that third nap, then actually go to bed between 6-8. It was revolutionary for my son, when we started putting him to bed at 7 at the latest. Sometimes if he hasn't napped well during the day, for whatever reason, he goes to bed at 6! And if your son is exclusively breastfed, I hate to tell ya, but he still NEEDS to wake up a few times at night to nurse. Please don't let anyone tell you that at 3 months he can be weaned from night nursing. That really won't happen until 6-8 months or later. My son is 11 months old, and still needs just one little snack between 1-3am, but he can sleep from 6 or 7 at night until that midnight snack, and then all the way till morning around 6:30-7am. But what you need to do is figure out what your son's internal clock settings are. You may be trying to enforce a nap schedule that doesn't quite work with him. And that screws us up, because if you wait too long to put them down and they're overtired, they're not going to sleep longer than 30 min. at a time. So I think if you start finding the right times...at that age, he should be pretty consistently ready to go to sleep after being awake for 2 hours at a time. So whatever time he wakes up in the morning, anticipate a nap two hours later, then whenever he wakes up from that (even if it's only 30 minutes) anticipate another nap another 2 hours later and so on...but then try to keep him awake after 4-5, like if it's 4-4:30 don't put him down. Keep him up and just put him down early at 6 for bed for the night. I noticed you mentioned an "evening" nap. Until 3 months of age, they're still sleeping from like 5 or 6 to 8 or 9, and then going to sleep for the "night" around 10 or so...but that ends around 3 months and their last nap should end around 4-5 in the afternoon. OK...I realize I rambled A LOT there....but get that book, it's really good and is supportive of whatever parenting style you feel comfortable with. It doesn't push crying it out or attachment parenting, but says you can do any of those.....so that's my fifty cents for ya!

Missy