Nearly 2 and SCREAMING Her Head off for Hours!

When my kids did this, I'd calmly and quietly carry them to their bed, put them down, and walk away. What they wanted most was an audience. When I told them that they could have the biggest, longest fit that they wanted to, they just had to stay in bed while they did it, it wasn't any fun for them any more and the behavior stopped.

Have you had her ears, throat, and lungs checked? Is it possible that she's still suffering from some of the remnants of the flu?

I think she may have a deep inner ear infection or something. My grandson had one and he was the cryingest baby you could ever imagine. Eventually he was found to be deaf. When the ENT went in to put tubes in he found so much debris from past ear infections that had NEVER responded to antibiotics. After he cleaned the ear canals out my grandson could hear again. So I know that stuff can get really deep. I would make sure to take her to the doc and tell them what is happening. This is not normal.

Make sure she's medically healthy.

Then get Back to Basics Discipline by Janet Campbell Matson. Calm warning at BEGINNING of ATTEMPT to have fit, and consequence if she decides to continue. Administer AFTER warning, but BEFORE she gets carried away, or walk away and catch beginning of next one. It's better to have her crying for few minutes due to your consequence, rather than executing her own self inflicted mega frenzies all day. She'll stop at a warning in no time if you are consistent and effective. You're saying "no matter what you do" but I don't see anything firm in what you've tried. That's good news. You shouldn't worry until you've tried everything. Be FIRM.

Don't worry, this is not squelching emotion. Once you have the fits nipped, you will be able to empathize and sympathize and communicate with her much MORE about her feelings when she's not busy screaming. I have a very rageful (well, she used to be) now two year old who now beautifully controls her rages and communicates her "issues" other ways. She is ten times happier than when she was always attempting fits, and I always hear, "She's so sweet!" from people. Hard to believe after her early start at tantrums, but none of our kids were allowed to scream for hours. Don't allow it. Your peaceful quiet home will be soooo worth the sacrifice of using some discipline (no one likes to). And two is getting up there, so don't delay. This usually starts around 18 months and can be nipped before two.

My daughter started doing that and found out she has a sensory integration problem.
So, some things are just overly stimulating to her and she can't handle it and throws a fit.
We thought at first it was temper tandrums but then she started doing it when her routine changed or in the middle of the night.
I am not saying that is what is wrong with your daughter but maybe see if there is something going on.

Maybe she liked having more attention when she was sick and is demanding it now. Be sure she's not still sick, doesn't sound like she is though. Then let her know you will not run to her or give in to the tantrums by whatever method of discipline you use. Putting her in her bed is a good way to remove her and let her know you can't allow it, if that works with her.

ok if she had the flu that means she was in serious serious trouble and in the hospital, so i am going to tell you right now, when kids go through something traumatic like that, yes, they get stressed out and will act out for quite awhile afterward. my friend's daughter nearly lost her foot in a horrible lawn mower accident, and my son fell from a swingset and broke his arm, both went through the same thing, my son to a lesser degree, he wasn't hospitalized or anything, BUT he got quite the attitude, and he was nearly 5 years old. being even younger, something so upsetting can really mess with their little worlds. the world isn't safe anymore, their routine is messed up, what they counted on and had learned to expect from life has been turned upside down. it's STRESSFUL. and kids react to stress by acting out, testing you beyond imagination. hang in there, i am glad she is feeling better enough to act this way :) i had a coworker whose grown daughter (i think she's 21) got the flu and she was in the hospital for several weeks.

the best thing that worked for us when my son would have these tantrums was sending him to his room. at 2 it was more about getting attention/getting what he wanted, so when he saw it wasn't going to work he gave it up pretty quickly. you have to keep in mind too, while little ones are sick we tend to bend over backwards to make them smile and give them basically whatever they want, so that has to stop too, and she won't like that either. hang in there mom, and whatever you DO decide to do about the tantrums, DON'T GIVE IN TO THEM!! and remember that just because it doesn't "seem" to be working, you do have to keep at it.

Hi Leelu, I am so sorry your little one is going through this, and this is certainly tough on you.
Your daughter sounds like she is in pain -- either physical or emotional.
1. Physical -- as was written before -- maybe she is still suffering from a deep ear infection or some other ailment.
2. Emotionally, she may just need to sit quietly with you and have a hug. and have you talk with her. It could be she is used to a great deal of attention when sick and is having trouble getting back to another routine. I would still be gentle and loving as you were when she is sick and help her transition back to health.

Having written the above, I would go back to the pedi, as it may be she is in pain.
Keep us all posted.
Jilly

Discipline her each time she does this. Also, check for food allergies. You can tell by cutting certain foods out of her diet and seeing if it helps. You'll notice a big difference if this is the case. Otherwise, stay on top of her discipline. My son does this too.

Do not let your daughter control you. She knows you are flustered and upset by this behavior and she will only continue to do it UNTIL you stop rewarding her with what she wants.

Calmly speak to her in a low control voice, with you hands over your ears to demonstrate, that Mommy can NOT hear her and will NOT listen to whatever she has to say UNTIL she stops yelling or screaming or talking to you in anything but a polite and respectful tone and wording. Then walk AWAY and keep walking away until she stops.

Trust me, she will learn very quickly that this behavior is no longer getting her what she wants. YOU are the parent and YOU should be in control. When you act in control and calm, then she will learn how to be calm and in conrol and will be more respectful to you and will feel more secure because you are calm, in control and reassuring.

YOU are the adult and you need to show her how to grow up.

Check out the famous youtube video that a dad filmed of his child flinging himself on the floor, looking up and noticing that mom had left, picking himself up calming, finding his mom again in another room, flinging himeself on the floor again screaming, until he noticed that his mom had moved again, This continued for a couple of minutes.

Your daughter will learn very, very quickly to stop.

Teach her life skills by teaching her to calmly and respectfully speaking to you and everyone else.

Embracing Squeeze- Individually take each limb, starting with arms at the wrist and take both your hands and squeeze her around the entire limb for 7 seconds and then move up to the next portion of the arm. Do all squeezes for 7 seconds, each limb 3x. When you get to legs, start at ankles and go to hips. Do this at least 4x a day. She will calm down. You are sending chemicals directly to her brain. Acetycholine, serotonin and dopamine.

Are you sure she doesnt have a sinus or ear infection bothering her? Does she sleep ok? Is anything triggering these fits? (not getting something? being tired, hungry?) Try to make sure she gets a little extra sleep, she could be on a growth spurt. Can she tell you how she feels? How verbal is she? have you tried the Happiest Toddler on the Block Book?

Do you have a play pen you can put her in to keep her from hurting herself when she does this?

I'd put her in the play pen and walk away. Don't give her any attention when she does this. She knows she is upsetting you and it's a way to get your attention, even though the attention is negative attention.

If she doesn't have enough words to help you here, I think that you should think in terms of asking the ped to get you her a speech evaluation. The expectations of what a child should be able to communicate at 24 months is different than before 24 months, so try to get the evaluation done when she reaches that 24 month mark. It is very hard on children to not have the words to tell how they feel and what they want, and you can help a great deal by getting a little speech help if she hasn't gotten far enough and her behavior is suffering because of it.

Don't let it go. I promise that "using her words" will help. The speech therapist will show you what to do, and you can work with her at home on a "home program". My own son had many years of speech therapy, and learning the words "help me" did him a world of good within a month of lessons.

Good luck!
Dawn

First of all take her to the doctor to eliminate an ear infection or other medical condition as a cause. If she is OK medically, you are just going to have to ride out the tantrums. Basically ignore the behavior and reinforce positive behavior. It does work, just not as quickly as you desire. Be prepared for a while to remove her from public situations when she screams. Just pick her up and go to the car and put her in the carseat.

When she is not screaming, give her some extra attention. If she is not talking well yet, that is another frustration in that she can't express herself. Listen carefully to try to understand her and teach her some signs to ask for what she want until language matures.

She will grow up, be assured, try to stay calm and not add to the situation.