C.O.
C.:
Hello! I am sorry you are going through this but I am VERY happy to hear that you guys are trying - so many just give up and walk away - not realizing that until they the resolve the problems from this relationship that they will just carry over....
I can't recommend a marriage counselor. I can recommend that you two make time for each other - a date night - and talk about anything and everything - if you can't afford to go out for dinner - wait until the kids are in bed and spread a blanket out on the floor with some pillows and a bottle of wine - MAKE it a date.
If you can't say something nice - take a deep breath - THINK - and I say "I can't say anything nice right now and I'm going to talk a walk" why do this? Because it's those mean and hurtful things one says that can NEVER EVER be taken back that ruin many marriages. And it doesn't matter how many times one says "I'm sorry" - the words are still banging around in the other's head.
Remember what it was that brought the two of you together. Even though you haven't been good communicators - you did enough to get a relationship started and married!! :)
If you have specific problems you want to work through - have each of you write a list of pros and cons about your marriage - what you think you have working and what's not. Then sit down and compare the lists. Then if when you find an issue that you both agree on as a con - figure out a way to work on it together - is there a work-around? I'm sure there is.
Don't let the positives go away - don't take advantage of that and let those things go.
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
