Need Advice About Separation Anxiety

I've had this same thing with most of my kids; it sounds like he has a fairly mild case that will probably resolve itself shortly.

I know it doesn't SEEM mild and that 'shortly' seems like an eternity, but what you're doing is perfect. With my girls, a casual approach worked best. We'd discuss what she wanted to do today, what her favorite part of the day would be, and when I'd come to pick her up. I tried not to minimize their feelings, but at the same time not play into the drama. Tough line to walk, but honestly more cuddling and carrying on really didn't help - it only made it worse! Being a little more matter-of-fact and, "OK, see you later honey!" cut short the drama and let us both get on with our lives.

There is little harder on us than the sobbing/crying thing at dropoff. Just remember that shortly after you've left, he's gotten on to the important business of playing! He's having a good time, honest!!

As everyone else has said, it's normal! Yes, you feel horrible, but they get over it pretty quick. To held you feel better, just call and ask how he's doing about 15 minutes after you dropped him off. He cries when he leaves because maybe the transitions just aren't easy for him. Maybe when you get there, you can just spend a little time with him in the daycare setting and then leave? I noticed my son had a hard time with transitions so I started telling him "2 minutes and we're leaving" and it seemed to make a huge difference in the transitions.

Whatever you do, though, do sneak out and don't come back after you've left. My husband and I learned the hard way that doing that makes the problem a MILLION times worse and it takes longer for them to move past. He WILL be okay! And so will YOU! :-)

Hi,
I am a daycare provider and what you are experiencing is very common. Keep on doing what you are doing. At least you know that he is happy once the initial anxiety is gone.

His anxiety may continue to happen once in a while. Sometimes kids just decide, on their own, that they would rather stay home and play with their own toys for the day.

If he needs to be their and you give in once by taking him home, it will make the situation worse.

Don't feel guilty! He will adjust.

D.

I had the same exact situation with my daughter and I always felt terribly guilty. Its normal for them to go through this, and it could be a while before he can be dropped off without crying. With my daughter it helps to walk her in rather than carry her in, let her know im going to hang out for five minutes or so, and help her get interested in an activity. When the five minutes are up, I say goodbye, give her a quick kiss and hug and remind her that I'll be back for her in the afternoon. Make sure the "goodbye" is quick! I hope this helps!

Hello K.,

My son is now 8 and I can remember dealing with the same thing.
Actually to be quite honest...I think he sensed the anxiety from me not wanting to leave him. He cried and I just couldn't leave. I didn't care if they had their rules that we were suppose to just drop them off and leave. I said, I prefer to hang out for a little while it was only about 10-15min...but it made not only me feel better about leaving him, but he seemed to start playing and before you knew it forgot all about me. I didn't go up to him and say..."Mommy's leaving"...just quietly left. When I returned they said he never cried for me...What a RELIEF that he didn't but at the same time...it kind of hurt that he didn't cry for me?...now does that make sense???...LOL..I then realized it was me that needed to be weaned from him.

Moral of the story is kids sense your anxiety and will show it.
Try to be calm and don't show your tears as well and exit out quietly.

Hope this helps?

C.