My 12 y/o son is ADHD and has been recently been diagnosed with ODD(oppositional defiant disorder.) We're having a lot of problems with him at the moment. Instead of getting better it seems like its constantly getting worse. We're taking him to a therapist and he's also now seeing a psychiatrist. He's mouthy, has an attitude all the time, he starts arguements with my husband (his stepdad) if he doesn't get his way. He's asked my husband to adopt him since he doesn't have much to do with his biological father but then turns around and tells us he doesn't want him around. He's trying everything in his power to split my marriage up and then gets mad if he can't get my husband and I to argue. My husband is good to my son so I can't understand why he acts this way toward him. We've tried taking away the ps3, mp3 player, tv, bike, etc. Nothing seems to work. He'll be good for a few days and then as soon as he gets his stuff back he's right back to bad behavior. I'm to the point that I'm looking at military schools and such just to get him some help. His behavior is setting a bad example for his 10y/o sister and 3y/o brother. Something has to change. Any ideas on what to try???
Yes he's been on meds for the ADHD for the last 5 years and the psychiatrist just put him on an antianxiety medicine last week.
Did you try meds? Its made a HUGE difference for my son. Also, check out this book, its older but has great advice for handling behavior for different ages: All About Attention Deficit Disorder by Thomas Phelan Good luck.
I think he is more just acting out like a pre teen and the AdHD is just making it that much worse. I've found taking things away from my daughter doesnt work that well . Hard work does. At 12 he is old enough to have to do extra work for bad behavior and even some work outside the house. I was a Candy Striper at the local hospital when I was 13. They have horse reabilitation centers down here in florida also. Finally does he do any sports to work off his energy. Karate, baseball. He might not be too keen at first but it does help
Geez -- are you sure you son hasn't been switched with mine? My son just turned 12 and has a similar diagnosis. He was cruising along pretty well for the past year or two. Seeing a therapist, leveled out on medication and doing well in school and then over the past few months BAM! No idea what was going on.
DUH, Puberty. He just started middle school, voice started changing, hair growing everywhere and his attitude STINKS.
Lucky us, we have ADHD/ODD/XYZ and regular teenage angst. I'm continuing to work with the school, the doctors and therapist and I'm considering taking up drinking as a hobby (just kidding!)
Hang in there!!
My understanding is that when working with a therapist/psychiatrist, that things do get worse before they get better. So maybe give it some more time?
It sounds like your son is conflicted regarding his feelings for his stepdad. Could be that he loves stepdad but seeing what a good father he is, makes your son angry that his own father can't be like him. So he lashes out at your hubby. I don't know - just a thought.
As far as splitting your marriage up, my thought is that he is "testing" your hubby to see if he's going to stay when the times get rough or if he's going to leave like his dad did.
I just think a lot of this has to do with his dad and abandonment issues. Please continue working with the psychiatrist.
Could be a combination - preteen/teen hormones and attitudes, and also a growing body can change medication needs/dosages. Consistency, good counseling, structure are all important. Maybe have his dosages evaluated based on hormonal production as well as physical growth. And going after the stepparents (you're not my dad, etc.) is pretty classic. Frustrating but common.
I work with a lot of people including teachers who have successfully used nutrition as one piece of the puzzle to help with focus. There are some new products out that are clinically developed and research-based but the kids just think they are cool. So if you want help in that area, let me know.
Have you experimented with different approaches to his adhd meds? For some kids, the meds cause aggression and anger and will exacerbate ODD issues.
