Need Advice for School Problems with a 6Yr Old.

I had the same problem at the beginning of the school year, I started giving my son chamomile baths at night and visiting his school on random days. When he saw that I was popping up every now and then, he got his act together. I don't believe in medicating a 6-year-old either. I also bought my son the Hooked on Phonics learning set. He is reading now and only got it on Christmas. You should try it. My son is excellent at math and science but had a really hard time reading. Good luck, I hope this helps.

N., your son may not have a problem at all that needs medication. The school may need to evaluate him and see if he needs special help. He may be dyslexic or have some other form of learning disability. Before you think I'm saying that he's retarded or stupid, I'm not. Learning disabled children are usually very intelligent, but the material in the school is not presented in a way that they can learn.

I would request, and demand if you have to, that he be evaluated for learning disabilities. If the evaluation shows that he has some abilities that are lower than his peers, then the school is required by law to help him learn the material in the way that helps him succeed. It's called a Free Appropriate Public Education, FAPE for short, and it is required by federal law.

Don't let the school tell you he needs medication, it is illegal for a school to tell you that a child needs medication. That's practicing medicine without a license, but some try to do it. The want the child to doped up so they can ignore the real reason for the behaviors. My son was so frustrated by the lack of help and teachers who told him he was bad because he could not read or write, that he started hiding under his desk to get away from the hurt. After he was evaluated and started getting the help he needed, he had been so upset by school it took six months for him to start smiling again, even at home. Once he realized that he could succeed, he loved school and went back to his normal self.

If your son is found to be needing special services, then you will go and help write up a specific plan for him, called an Individual Education Program, IEP for short. That way the school knows how to best help him and you can make sure they are following the plan.

I say all this from experience. I waited too long for my son to have him evaluated, and he struggled all through school. The sooner these disabilities are caught, the better the child learns and the less behind he becomes as an adult.

If he is found to have a learning disability (I prefer learning difference), and you want help with advocating for him, send me a private message and I'll send you my contact information. I lived this from grades 1-12 with my son, I've seen it all. It is a passion of mine, to help these super students learn.

And, if he does have a learning difference, you will find that he also has a very unique point of view on the world, that is wonderful. The people who see things from a different angle are those that find the new ways to solve problems. They are the "fancy learners", who make a difference in the world.

Hi N.,

I too had trouble with my son with his schooling in second grade. He always seemed to be doing well in kindergarten and 1st grade, but I noticed his grades slipping in the first part of second grade. My son also did very well in math and with computer skills but was failing/falling behind in reading and spelling. I finally asked the school to test him for a learning disorder. It took speaking to his teacher and then to the school counselor for them to notice that there might be a learning problem before they finally stepped up to the plate and had him tested. After several tests and a few months of waiting, they finally come to the conclusion that he did in deed have a learning disorder. They did not label him as dyslexic because they feel this is now too broad a term to use for the many learning disorders out there. They started him their IEP program (individual Educational Program) and the improvements that he has made over the years have been dramatic. I never really noticed that he had stopped reading books at such a young age, but what had caught my eye was that when he was writing his words alot of them did not have vowels in them. I have since learned over the past 10yrs of my son(who is now 17 and in his senior year)being in this program is the encouragement and help that the teachers have given him over the years. He is still considered behind in his reading level for his age, but does not have as many problems in school as he once did. The early years after the testing was done showed huge improvements on his part. He settled down and could actually concentrate on leaning instead of sitting there struggling and being too shy to ask for help. He went the opposite of what most kids do that are struggling in school do and sat quietly and didn't do his work without disrupting the rest of the class. Many kids who are struggling will become disruptive in class. This may or may not be the problem that is affecting your son, but it wouldn't hurt to have him tested to make sure that he is learning and getting the best education that he possibly can. The teachers seldom notice a single child with a learning disorder because they are not focusing on one individual child but the whole class. My sons teacher hadn't noticed my sons problems until I pointed them out to her, then she went back over some of his papers and noticed the same things that I had. She was very helpful in making sure that I got him the testing that he needed, and with it being done through the school with the parent requesting it, the testing was done for free. If you have your son tested without involving the school you will have to pay for the testing yourself. They ran a battery of tests on him from reading to spelling to IQ tests. Like many dyslexic people he scored above average or superior to kids his age on the IQ tests. These kids are not dumb or stupid kids, they are not lazy kids, they learn differently than most kids and are usually much smarter than average, they just find it hard to tell people what it is that they want to say, or express themselves without getting frustrated because they know what they want to say but can't think of the words they want. My son could tear apart a toy when he was your sons age and put it back together and having it working better than before but had a very hard time reading out loud. Most kids with the learning disorder that my son has are very adept with their hands, are very good at math problems or figuring out problems or puzzles, but just can't seem to get reading down like most of us do. After my son was tested and we found that he had a learning disorder I was speaking with my mother in law about it, turns out that there are a few relatives on her side of the family that without you being told they had a learning disorder you wouldn't know it. These forms of learning disorders can be hereditory, it might be worth checking with relatives to see if they also struggled with reading and spelling in school, and were just never diagnosed. Good luck, hopefully you can find help for your son with out medication. Email me any time if you'd have any questions or would like to chat

D.

I don't think that all kids need to medicated. Maybe you should have your child tested with both his class and for adhd. Because sometimes, kids act out because they are bored they are not getting a challenge in the class(es). I would test him there first and then go from there.

N.,
I also feel these days Doctors and Teachers are too quick to Diagnose our children today. Instead of challenging them they drug them up and hope for the best. In most cases the kids fall asleep during class, in worse case, the kids don't respond well to being on the meds and wind up in bad situations with peers and teachers. However, there are some cases where the kids really need the medication, but not before they tried every other option out there.
I had a child that was on medication for ADHD and it made him worse. and I never liked the idea of him being on medication, this was about 15 years ago. Recently I found a website that might be of interest to you:
http://www.childdevelopmentinfo.com/ADHD/adhd-treatment-c...
check it out and see if this would be right for you and your child. Please check with your childs Doctor and keep him/her informed of your childs progress, not just for your kids sake but for the sake of future patients to his/her practice, if this program works well with your child, your Pediatritian may recommend it before he/she recommends medication for treatment.
I hope this helps!
Aloha
E. C.

See your pediatrician, ask if there are diets that may help. Some children have food allergies that manifest as behavior problems.

A nutritionist might also help.

See the school for an IEP (individual educational plan) this will involve testing for your child's abilities and short-falls.

I agree that we often "over medicate" kids. Not all need meds, some do. Do what seems best for your child.

Joyce

There are many things you can do. Have you noticed a change in what he will and won't eat?
Have you tried talking to him? Put your two y.o. to bed, then sit with your son and play with him or snuggle and ask him to tell you his side of what happened, and ask if you can help; or tell him you want to help.

My 10 y.o. son was diagnosed at 7 with ADHD. I did not want to put him on drugs either. A wonderful counselor reommended a book by Dr. Amen called "Healing ADD" (you can find it on www.brainplace.com and can read about the Dr. at www.amenclinic.com
I tried herbal supplements from www.nativeremedies.com- excellent but challenging- some require 3 doses a day (hard to give one when they're in school!) and the tablets work, IF your son can stand the taste. Thankfully my local health food store recommended liquid health- it is Phenomenal! (check out the liquid attention product on their site: www.liquidhealthinc.com)
The best way to cure your worry is to get info. I'm still learning and loving it because I can see past my son's challenges to the beautiful, loving and talented kid he is.

Let me know if this helps if you have questions, ok
:) A.

I am so glad to hear that you are not going to medicate your son. Way too many parents are to fast to jump on the meds to make life easier, not better. A couple of questions, is there a bully or girl in the classes that might effect his work? Is he getting enough exercise? Does he need glasses? Have you considered allergies? Does he still have his group of friends?

From experiences, a friend was put in "special" classes for FOUR YEARS. It turned out she was allergic to wheat and once they figured it out she jumped 3 grades in a year. She is now a top gyno in Houston.

My son's grades dropped due to a bully then picked up when he got a "girlfriend". He was in 2nd grade. His grades then dropped again to impress a girl with his comedy skills and not Math skills. That was 5th grade.

His grades have improved 110% since we have been taking long walks together, biking, hiking, and running around like fools with his friends. Keeping it a little lighter around the house has made his morale and school work incredible. He is now in 8th grade.

Just a few suggestions to help you out. Please keep strong and away from meds. He is just a kid and just needs a little help to figure things out.
Good Luck and have a Great Holiday Season!

My son is 8 and since he started school he has been brilliant but easily distracted. His grades on his report card often reflect his lack of attention and not his ability. I have a system with his teacher were she sends a behavior report home each day to let me know what areas he is having trouble (independant study, group work, focused work) and I track his behavior on his responsibility chart at home each day. Having a lot of structure for him has helped. If you want an example of the chart the teacher and I use, or I use at home just let me know and I can email them to you. Good luck.

Be patient, have you spoken with his teacher or any other person in his school as to steps to make before taking to meds. My daughter was acting up at one time but we later found out it was because the new baby. Now my son is 2 & my daughter 8. We sat down with her and had a long conversations as to ways to help make things better. I am just hoping this is a phase for you right now & you won't have to lead to meds. GOOD LUCK!!!

My son started having problems at school in the second grade. He was diagnosed with ADHD and oppositional defiant disorder. We tried the traditional ADHD medications, but they made him very ill and increased his aggression. He is now on Strattera which helps him focus. We also sought the advice of a child and family psychologist who worked wonders! It really helped our son to have a third party to talk to and we worked with the doctor to develop strategies to deal with his behavior.
If you want to stay away from meds, there are a lot of dietary changes you can make. Our doctor referred us to a nutritionist who suggested cutting most sugars from our son's diet. It amazed us that something so simple had such a big effect. Ask your pediatrician for referrals to a nutritionist and a child psychologist in your area.
Our son is now in the 4th grade and he's made the honor roll every semester since we began treatment!! Good luck with your son.